Cogal Report: East Maui Loop 2013
I didn’t want to climb the Eiger, I wanted to have climbed the Eiger.
– Jon Krakauer, Eiger Dreams
Gianni’s Take
This Cogal seemed like a good idea to Frank. Right up until he understood we had to be riding at 5:25am to meet up for espresso or muffins, or dense fuel omelette loaded with cheese and sausage (Peter only). This ride had been weighing heavily on my psyche for a long time and I needed to get it underway. I needed to have done the East Maui Loop. Long distances and climbing are two of the many weak points of my cycling. This was by no means the Too Much on 100 slog; the East Maui Loop was 50% the distance and 80% of the climbing.
Frank proclaimed he was going to do this cogal without fuel. Frank is other worldly. He is from Mars and I, evidently, am from some outer orbiting pussy planet. I had stuffed one of my rear pockets with Clif products. Hell yes, bonking is dumb and I didn’t need to add that to my list worries. Why would one propose such Rule #91 folly? To meet the Man with the Hammer, a confirmed date with him, to really get it square in the forehead? No, Mr. Body Dismorphia wants to lose weight. With tongue cleanly bitten off I mimed that it was a fine idea.
After a zero dark thirty start we met the other riders, most of whom had no idea what a Cogal was. They were just up for a day of riding through the many climates and geographies of the East Maui Loop, followed by pizza and beer gorging. Frank and I were the only East Loop virgins on this ride. @mauibike was our guide but with one road and no turns, he didn’t have to worry about us getting lost.
Everyone returned to their starting points. Frank suffered a non-fixable flat with five miles to go and had to call in the support truck. He will have to come back to finish this one. It was a hell of a ride. I’m glad to have done it. Everyone else treated it like an easy roll around session. Rob even added some climbing after dragging me along.
The beer and pizza made us whole again.
Frank’s Take
At a cozy 160km with and a few thousand meters of climbing, this ride has been given something of mythical status by Gianni ever since our first trip out to Maui a few years ago. Poor tarmac, dirt roads, loads of climbing, and heat all add their unique elements to Maui’s already unique climate.
Being a small island just big enough to have distinct climates in different areas, there is a tropical rainforest on the north and northeast sides of the island, desert in the south, and normal in the isthmus that runs between East and West Maui. That makes this ride the only ride I’ve ever been on that takes you through all these weather zones in one day. I’d experienced part of this when riding the Kaupo ride with my friend Dave Ezzy on our last trip, and I was thrilled at the chance to ride the whole thing.
Bad roads and peer pressure meant a last-minute change to clinchers, as the wheels I had brought were my Café Roubaix climbing wheels and it was (repeatedly) postulated that I might destroy them when introducing fat ass, carbon, and potholes. I scrambled to get tires and valve extenders sorted out and claimed the VMH’s Zipp 404s for the ride. This turned out to be a bad idea as the extender I bought sucked, and the inner tubes I repurposed from her wheels were old and cracked and destined to fail just prior to us completing the ride. You’ve never been doing this so long that you can’t learn a basic lesson: never change your equipment the night before an important ride.
I had a rough night; I stayed up late writing, and staying up late writing customarily requires ample portions of wine. When I finally got to sleep, it was soon interrupted by phone calls from work when the servers chose to fail. I was awake just long enough to realize how hung over I was going to feel in the morning and how few hours were left before the alarm would go off.
Hangover, no food, and coffee seemed like an excellent way to meet the Man with the Hammer, and though I brought a Clif bar and a few shots by way of escape chute should I need it, I was determined to run the tank empty. This endeavor was aided somewhat by losing a bidon on the Maui Pavé.
This is dragging on, so I’ll stop after making a few final points. First, this is an amazing ride and despite the pouring rain, was one of the most beautiful I’ve done – full stop. Second, riding from desert into rain forest is one of the coolest things you’ll ever do. Third – and this is mostly just for the islanders – that tarmac on the back end of the island is rough, but it is nothing like the Pavé of Northern France and Belgium.
[vimeo]https://vimeo.com/58327050[/vimeo]
[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/[email protected]/East Maui Loop Cogal/”/]
Leading the article with a Krakauer quote? I don’t even need to read the rest of the article. Fucking awesome! (I’ll read it though)
Sounds like an awesome ride. Thanks for the write up.
(Frank’s take: first sentence, did you mean to type distinct climates or do I need a dictionary to learn a new word)
@girl
Thanks for editing. Glad you liked it.
@scaler911
I hope that is an endorsement of JK. I like his work but one of my climbing friends does not. My friend was a friend of Anatoli Boukreev and didn’t like JK’s portrayal of him in Into Thin Air.
Thanks for posting. Looks like it was fookin awesome. Did some miles on The Big Island last year; it is such a great place to ride.
Cogals are so fun. Really looking forward to more.
@Frank: maybe the VMH’s Z404s are due for an upgrade to tubeless? :-)
@Gianni
It was an endorsement. I’ve read both (and all the other ones about that day) and understand that side too. But unless you’ve actually been up there in those conditions, in that state of mind, who knows how you’d interpret those events. They don’t even know. That’s my take as a climber anyway.
I wish I could ride in SS and bibs………..
As always a great, inspiring post. I like the ‘The beer and pizza made us whole again.’ It always does; even tastier after a heavy session on the bikes.
@frahnk, mebbe new tubes?
Great ride all! The idea of cycling from one climate to another is fantastic. Krakauer is surely an honorary Velominati..Into Thin Air is an incredible book!
Is there something you’d like to say? Perhaps a new Keepers’ Tour giveaway?
What a fookin’ amazing ride! Adding that one to the list of rides that I really must to do sooner than later. That looks just outstanding. Chapeau to all!
And what a great opening quote. So true of many things in life! As for the book, totally agree with Scaler, unless you were there, one needs to reserve judgement. I climbed with Neil Beidelman about two years after this event and he had his side as well.
And yes, nothing new on race day.
Great write up gentlemen!
Awesome. I must do this. Not might. Must. You have been warned.
@Winnipeg CycleChick
I know, look at those roads, unbelievable!
And kuddos to the Cogal and Kathleen! We need more women to show up for these Cogals. I know that one showed for an Aussie Cogal and now one for a Hawiaiannan one (how the FUCK do you spell Hawaiiaananaan anyways???).
Strong work!!!
That route is so nice it makes my outdoor rides seem like indoor roller sessions.
@the Engine That’s the Nordwand, aka Mordwand of the Eiger in the background isn’t it?
Man, The White Spider is one of my all time favorite reads.
@Buck Rogers
Kathleen was told another woman was doing the ride, Frank’s Michelle. She was rather annoyed with us all that she was the only woman there. Of course she was bombproof, she dropped me in Hana and I never saw her again.
@the Engine: Fan-f’n-tastic. I love climbing as much as I love cycling. Such majesty. Chapeau!
@Winnipeg CycleChick
Bring it! It really is an amazing route and a must do ride. I’ve already started to ponder a more Rule #5 riding life so it will be more pleasurable next time. Pondering…is there a equivocal word out there?
@scaler911
@the Engine
There are probably a few hard climbers on the face in that photo. A nice winter ascent of the Eiger? I’ll stick with a winter East Maui Loop.
@Buck Rogers
When I was a teenager I read everything I could about rock climbing and tried a few classic Scottish routes. As I have the climbing ability of something that has no climbing ability whatsoever (Cavendouche?) this was in the category of “I’ll do it to prove that I can and that’ll do me adventures” – a bit like visiting New Jersey perhaps.
Anyway until I’d never seen the Eiger let alone the Nordwand but after ten minutes #3 Engine was showing signs of advanced boredom and early hypothermia as a told him tales of the White Spider and the Hinterstoißer Traverse and even Clint Eastwood. Man – I knew every lump on that piece of rock from reading about it 30 years ago.
The Eiger is now added to the TdF, New York, The Great Pyramids and the Grand Canyon in the list of things that haven’t disappointed me when I’ve seen them for real.
@Gianni
As I recall the one’s that don’t get to the top and expire are left in situ until they can be safely removed – they don’t even do that on the Tourmalet
@the Engine
I am guessing that was taken at the hotel in Grindelwald where the whole saga of Angerer, Hinterstoisser and Tony Kurz unfolded. Amazing place I would love to visit, by all accounts you can walk to the bottom of the Nordwand (as long as you can dodge the Bergshrund).
My personal favourite though (as a reader of mountaineering literature, having only once donned crampons above 3000m) is the north face of Changabang. Andy Cave book Learning to Breathe is epic.
I also treated myself some years ago…back when the world economy was not in its knees, to a first a edition of The White Spider. Its sits proudly on my bookshelf as an inspiration to me as to what dedication and focus can achieve! (them climing it, not me saving up to buy it!)
@Deakus and I meant to put a pic of Changabang in…….fingers moving faster than brain as usual!
@Deakus
It was taken from the cafe balcony at Kleine Scheidegg Herr Doktor Deakus. The ambiance of the immediate vicinity is somewhat spoiled by a high douchebag ratio owning to the large numbers of pretentious/wealthy types sliding ostentatiously downhill. I’m more a solitary wilderness type of guy.
@the Engine
In the case of the Eiger this happened because one of Kurz party was suspended from ropes and could not be reached in the conditions. He was fetched down soon after.
At higher altitudes they do sometimes leave them there because they are too exhausted to do anything of worth to get them down and in some cases it is seen as a burial site. Why move them…where to…what is better than being interned somewhere close to 8000m above all the shit the earth has to offer.
Probably one of the best known amongst mountaineers is Green Boots (best to read the link to explain)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Boots
@Deakus
NICE about the First edition. What a book. Right up there with Herzog’s Annapurna as the most classic in climbing literature in my opinion. I have a signed first edition of K2: The Savage Mountain by Bates and Houston. Charlie Houston was a med prof emeritus at my med school and as I was the climbing club president, I had him come and give a super talk. He brought old reel-to-reel films from when he was on expeditions with Shipton and Tilman. He was their Doc on the Nandi Devi expedition in ’36, even though he was a 23 year old Columbia med student. The tales that guy told and to be with him was just amazing. Really cool and humble guy.
@Buck Rogers
There is however one book that beats them all. If you cannot find it in book shops I think it is on ebooks…short and hilarious!!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ascent_of_Rum_Doodle
@the Engine
Tower Buttress? (The Ben), or did you ever stray to the Buchaille?
@Deakus
I often find that Glacial Lasissitude strikes me even at work. Thank God I do not have to try to scale a 41,500 foot peak!!!
“You’ve never been doing this so long that you can’t learn a basic lesson: never change your equipment the night before an important ride.”
It provides me with a degree of comfort that even a Keeper has to relearn this from time to time. I know it too, but I’ve also ignored it. With similar results.
Great photos, looks “fun.”
@Buck Rogers Bravo!
@Deakus I thought that Tasker and Boardman were the first guys to do Changabang? I have their climbing “Omnibus” and they talk about their trip in it. Actually not a very entertaining read but good for the history of climbing.
@Deakus
Ha! I actually found that book in a used book sotre in Thamel in the Spring of 2000. I was on a climbing trip there and I remember reading it in “The Third Eye” resturant there. Such a SUPER restaurant. Esp for a broke dude there climbing with his wife with him!
@Deakus
@the Engine
@scaler911
Man, I had better stop talking about climbing and get back on the subject of bikes or Frahnk will kick my ass. Although it is Gianni’s fault with leading off with a climbing quote! Isn’t Mark Twight a member here as well? Seems like he posted a few times a while back.
Frahnk! Why didn’t you run the Nemesis tubs? That road looks perfect for them.
thanks for the write up
everytime there is a cogal: i dip into a guilty state of mind, wanting to join up, but have my priorities all screwed up with work. Besides, i am not sure i deserve something so beautiful
BTW: nice Serotta!
I think the last photo represents the Velominati pretty well. Serious enough to get it right, yet childish enough to roll the Lycra up to crotch level and ask our VMH to take a photo
@Buck Rogers
Yup I have the omibus…The Shining Mountain. Yes they were…but they did not do the North Face, they did the West Wall. That omnibus is awesome, I must reread it sometime!
The Ascent of Rum Doodle made me wet myself.
Read a lot of mountaineering literature when I was in my teens and thought (briefly) that I wanted to be an alpinist. (D-/)Evolved into a pussy sport climber. And sufferer of Seasonal Affective Lassitude.
I could get used to riding in Hawaii.
@Deakus
Here’s a wee photo of the Buachaille near Glen Coe, cracking climbing on the face there, including Shibboleth (mentioned earlier) and a nearby tavern. Good wee cycle from Ballachulish at sealevel a few miles down the road, stop for a coffee at the ski centre near this hill too.
My missus had been to Hawaii when she was a teenager and sometimes said she would like to visit again, I was pretty neutral on this, it is such a trek ! However, having seen the cogal report and also Franks adventure I am maybe going to start saving.
@Gianni I never mind being the token female on a ride. (Especially if I am in Maui. Or Belgium.) Usually don’t even notice.
And I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that one does not “ponder” Rule #5. You simply put on your big girl pants and do that shit.
Cheers, G! Loved the video, by the way. Not jealous at all.
@Deakus
Ha – my mum was with us at Kleine Scheidegg and this reminds me that her and my late father used to do quotes from The Ascent of Rum Doodle in the same way us sadsters get off on Python and the Hitchhiker’s Guide.
@Deakus
East Coast for me mostly – Lochnagar, the Cairngorms with one big (for me) West Coast route on the Triple Buttress of Beinn Eighe – still with bits of Lancaster wedged in it. @strathlubnaig would consider most of what I did mild scrambling at best but they were suitably scary for me.
@Buck Rogers
Mark Twight is a scary man hero – fuck he posts on here and reads this shit – I’m going to have a lie down in a dark room and will never mention that I’m overweight and delusional on here ever again as he might send a training programme over to my house with someone who doesn’t exist to enforce it.
I say again, fuuuuuuuck.
@the Engine
ah yes, Fuselage Gully, a fine Gr II winter traipse, nice one !
@the Engine
I did my winter mountaineering course in the Cairngorms….fell on a Grade 1 gully 70ft (Corrie An-Lochan just round the east side of Cairngorm). Broke left tibula and had a 7 hr rescue (no choppers flying out of lossimouth that day) on foot/stretcher. The instructor was gutted, he had been doing it since the 80’s and I was his first ever casualty. The secret….don’t kneel on the slope when only the points of your crampons are in….it tends to relieve the weight…and off you gooooooooooo!
@Deakus
Ouch – however good to know that its not only me who manages to have catastrophes that instructors have never seen before
@the Engine
Ha! I forgot Mark Twight may have commented on this site. He was Jon Krakauer’s gung ho young climbing partner on that failed Eiger bid. We don’t want to have him telling us to HTFU, he is not fooling around. He is Mr HTFU.
@strathlubnaig
I did one in the Cairngorms which was both epic and easy – a narrow quartz band that runs through Vatican Steps – there’s a few centimetres of relatively easy climbing in a three of four pitch vertical staircase surrounded by a lot of smooth vertical granite. Wish I could recall exactly where it was…
@roger
Did you notice your bottles on my bike? Chapeau my friend. And yes, we are a childish bunch. Frank and I spent most of our time here giggling like teenagers and our better halves rolling their eyes and shaking their heads. It’s all we know.
Funny how we got from Maui to mountaineering.
@Gianni, I didn’t even know a “road” went all the way around Maui. Awesome.