In my journey through life, I’ve been struck by the near universal existence of the competitive spirit amongst people. Even people who claim not to be competitive in nature are seemingly competitive about how uncompetitive they are. I’m more uncompetitive than you. We find it everywhere, between old friends and perfect strangers alike; during official tournaments or imaginary ones. The Commuter Grand Prix is a perfect example as the hairy-legged, YJA-wearing horde thunders from stop light to stop light, each trying to beat the others to some imaginary finish line.
It’s a curious thing where this competitive drive comes from for each individual. It appears to me that there are two principle types of competitive energies: one which burns by a flame borne of a desire to become the best and one of a desire to be better than others. It seems on the surface as though those are the same thing because competition is always about fighting over a single place within a hierarchy. But some people seem to compete out of a desire to be as good as they can be and use winning as a measure of success. Others seem to compete out of a desire to demonstrate that they are the best and use winning as proof positive. I admit it’s a hopelessly thin line, and I’d forgive you if you stopped reading right now, if you’ve even managed to wrestle your way this far.
I’m not a psychologist, but as a Dutchman I understand perfectly well that being loud and stubborn is all you need in order to talk about things you know nothing about. Both types can be incredibly fierce competitors, but those who focus inward often seem able to find a sense of satisfaction in defeat when they’ve competed at their maximum and come up short. They may well be disappointed or even angry at the thought of losing, but they will try again, and they will keep fighting and work to get better based on a willingness and desire to overcome their failings in previous attempts.
Those who focus outwardly typically hate losing, no matter how well they performed. Excuses will be made and others will be blamed in an attempt to justify to others (if also themselves) why they lost. I might even be tempted to perform the Standing Broad Jump of Logic (if you can accuse any of this of being logical) and suggest that externally focussed competitors are more likely to cheat than internally focussed ones because an internally focussed competitor would feel first and foremost that they are cheating themselves before others.
As Cyclists, we fly like moths to the fire of competition. The Pros are the extreme, and I personally wonder if the choice to dope or cheat is fundamentally made easier or harder based on where the core of each individual’s competitive spirit rests. We know now that all sorts of athletes dope and cheat, but how close we fly to the flame and what we are willing to sacrifice along the way to winning might be a function of where we find satisfaction in competition.
I love the heat, I love the things that I forgot
I loved the strings that tied me down and cut me off
I was a king, I was a moth with painted wings made of cloth
When did the flame burn so high and get so hot?
– Chris Cornell, Moth
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@Frank
This, This.... THIS!
Although I finished the article, my day was complete once having read that.
A fine piece @Frank
Wow, this is a tough question to answer! I don't even know how I'd evaluate my own fire. Great stuff, Frank!
These days my sporting life is twice-a-week futbol and cycling as much as I can. In both I just like to do my best and do still get pissed when I know I'm not playing/riding as well as I can. Only letting myself down, no real competition.
When I played competitive sports while growing up and in college, I'd say it was a bit of an inward/outward focus. Sure, I still just wanted to do my best, but I definitely didn't mind elbowing, bumping, or slashing someone if it meant my team was going to win, especially against hated rivals.
I think I'm a bit more tranquillo in my sporting life these days, just looking to get some exercise and also, keep on performing well in a physical pursuit. I guess part of my resistance to being a full-on academic, and my passion for cycling, is my resistance to hanging up the cleats of physical pursuits and reducing my character to just mental, scholarly pursuits. I still love the black/white world of sports for that reason, feels tangible enough to provide some real satisfaction of testing your physical abilities.
@Ron
I usually do it in the shower.
@Ron
Ditto - age tends to do that though I surprise myself by seemingly getting faster on routes that I track. However, when I was younger my performance was a quantum better in a "real" competition even if that was not strictly speaking in a competitive sport. Case in point we were "welly wanging" at a social event. In practice none of us could throw more than about 11 meters. The organiser (now my VMW) blew a whistle for the "official" throws and I promptly threw it 23 meters. Competition over.
@Russ
I noticed the Cafe Hollander logo you've got there, but your profile says you're in New Zealand. Do you have some connection to WI? Hollander is just down the road from my house, and the meeting point for the group that I ride with (and has a most amazing selection of Recovery Ales!).
A very searching question Frank.
I think you're probably on the right lines.
I'm currently working my way through Steve Peters' book The Chimp Paradox - he works as a psychologist with a lot of sports people including the British Cycling team.
I'm not halfway through yet so I won't jump to conclusions but I suspect something like that will be in the mix. His analogy is that we all have a primitive chimp inside us who is impulsive and also highly competitive and territorial - it is likely to lash out and take defeat badly.
The book is about managing and to some extent leveraging the chimp attributes to work for and not against the more civilised and rational human side.
1st off, the photo...
THÈVENET: Merde Merckx. Pourquoi faites-vous ça fait tellement mal.
THE PROPHET: ... (goes deeper into the cave)
And then @frank's response to @Ron made me glad I had already swallowed my coffee.
Thank you Frank.
When I started riding with a group, my goal was only to keep up. Being dropped gave me fuel to train harder. My new goal it to bridge the gaps. I don't always make it, but no longer worry about falling off the back. Winning, for me, is improvement over time and to ride as hard as I can each time out.
Excellent piece, Frank. I love how some articles really make one self analyse motivations/decisions or what have you. I believe I am the second type, as far as cycling goes anyway. Success is defined based on how I feel at the finish with my own performance, and not on the hierarchy of names on the results list.
Case in point - derailleur hanger breaks at 90km into a 140km sportive. Rather than abandon, use chain breaker to shorten chain and convert bike to a single speed. Finish ride with one gear and a chain with no tension (constantly changing gears). First 90km - 3 hours. Last 60km - 4 hours. Finished at the 7 hour time limit = success. It was a real Rule 9 ride too. Not abandoning was another measure of success.