In my journey through life, I’ve been struck by the near universal existence of the competitive spirit amongst people. Even people who claim not to be competitive in nature are seemingly competitive about how uncompetitive they are. I’m more uncompetitive than you. We find it everywhere, between old friends and perfect strangers alike; during official tournaments or imaginary ones. The Commuter Grand Prix is a perfect example as the hairy-legged, YJA-wearing horde thunders from stop light to stop light, each trying to beat the others to some imaginary finish line.
It’s a curious thing where this competitive drive comes from for each individual. It appears to me that there are two principle types of competitive energies: one which burns by a flame borne of a desire to become the best and one of a desire to be better than others. It seems on the surface as though those are the same thing because competition is always about fighting over a single place within a hierarchy. But some people seem to compete out of a desire to be as good as they can be and use winning as a measure of success. Others seem to compete out of a desire to demonstrate that they are the best and use winning as proof positive. I admit it’s a hopelessly thin line, and I’d forgive you if you stopped reading right now, if you’ve even managed to wrestle your way this far.
I’m not a psychologist, but as a Dutchman I understand perfectly well that being loud and stubborn is all you need in order to talk about things you know nothing about. Both types can be incredibly fierce competitors, but those who focus inward often seem able to find a sense of satisfaction in defeat when they’ve competed at their maximum and come up short. They may well be disappointed or even angry at the thought of losing, but they will try again, and they will keep fighting and work to get better based on a willingness and desire to overcome their failings in previous attempts.
Those who focus outwardly typically hate losing, no matter how well they performed. Excuses will be made and others will be blamed in an attempt to justify to others (if also themselves) why they lost. I might even be tempted to perform the Standing Broad Jump of Logic (if you can accuse any of this of being logical) and suggest that externally focussed competitors are more likely to cheat than internally focussed ones because an internally focussed competitor would feel first and foremost that they are cheating themselves before others.
As Cyclists, we fly like moths to the fire of competition. The Pros are the extreme, and I personally wonder if the choice to dope or cheat is fundamentally made easier or harder based on where the core of each individual’s competitive spirit rests. We know now that all sorts of athletes dope and cheat, but how close we fly to the flame and what we are willing to sacrifice along the way to winning might be a function of where we find satisfaction in competition.
I love the heat, I love the things that I forgot
I loved the strings that tied me down and cut me off
I was a king, I was a moth with painted wings made of cloth
When did the flame burn so high and get so hot?
– Chris Cornell, Moth
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That Peugeot kit Thevenet is wearing is still one of the all time great kits. Ironically, it was worn by Merckx himself from 66 -67 and remained virtually unchanged until the team folded in 1986. Of course, in 75, when this picture was taken, Merckx was still suffering from "the punch" that had left him severely winded on the the stage that finished at the Puy de Dome. That's why he looks awful.
@wiscot
Interesting that you're focusing on the photo; I chose it because I like to try to decide what kind of athlete someone is, based on how they conduct themselves. Merckx was, I think, the internally focussed sort - he would attack when already in the lead just to prove to himself he could still make himself hurt. Thèvenet of course famously beat Merckx by using drugs which makes me feel like he might have been the external type.
Ullrich to me was also hugely internal; his sportsmanship on Luz Ardiden being a great example of someone who would rather lose fairly than win unfairly...ignoring the fact that he also doped.
Armstrong to me is a classic example of the externally focussed athlete; it was all about beating others for him, he admits as much.
I think both types are perfectly normal and acceptable athletes, by the way, and I've been beaten by and have beaten both kinds. But I feel the strongest affinity for those who I believe are internally focussed.
@ChrisO
I like this thought. What are laws and social mores but ways to keep our primal nature in check? Competing against each other is how we express/manage that aggression.
What I like about the article is its exploration of what motivates each of us to loose the inner ape.
@Rob
You put it perfectly; I'm definitely the first sort but I'm fiercely competitive and accept nothing but the best. When I was training full time as a youngster, I was good enough that being at my best meant I was winning, so it was very convenient that way.
Also, I would probably have torn the eyeballs out of my competitor's face if I had to during a race, but once the race was over, many of us were great friends - training together, hanging out during the off season and all that. I think that's another sign of internally focussed athletes; being able to let go and be friends with the people you have to compete against.
@Ccos
I'm not at all saying that internally focussed athletes can perform as well alone as they can in a race - I think that its almost impossible to hurt yourself in training the way you can in a race. Whether you focus in or out, I think competition is about pushing yourself to get to the line first, end of.
I also need events on the horizon to help find the focus to train properly, otherwise I'll just get on the bike and ride however I want to that day - which is loads of fun and very liberating, by the way - but its not as productive for getting results.
@Fausto Crapiz
I would definitely agree that boiling every kind of athlete in the world down to two principle types is a generalization.
@Mikael Liddy
Nice. I think its liberating to admit your own mistakes and errors in failure as well as success. It puts the control in your hands so you can improve, rather than seeing yourself as a helpless participant in the event.
@ChrisO
I'll be curious to hear more about that when you're done.
@TheVid
Similarly, my Heck of the North was a disaster mechanically but overall, I rode well and was good on the technical sections so I'm happy with the ride. And because I know what I did wrong and where I can improve, I feel motivated to train properly, do some recon, and come back this year to be more competitive.
THE FIRE AND THE MOTH
sounds like a title for the next V book.
@frank
I'm the lead out man...put in all the work there today and then Frank comes around me at the finish line, gets the applause, the smiles, the podium gals. Life can be so unfair!
(I guess I had that coming. Nice work!)
@Ron
Classic case of second is nowhere!