Categories: Defining MomentsLa Vie Velominatus

The Fire and the Moth

The Prophet enroute to Pra Loup." width="620" height="473" /> Bernard Thévenet and The Prophet enroute to Pra Loup.

In my journey through life, I’ve been struck by the near universal existence of the competitive spirit amongst people. Even people who claim not to be competitive in nature are seemingly competitive about how uncompetitive they are. I’m more uncompetitive than you. We find it everywhere, between old friends and perfect strangers alike; during official tournaments or imaginary ones. The Commuter Grand Prix is a perfect example as the hairy-legged, YJA-wearing horde thunders from stop light to stop light, each trying to beat the others to some imaginary finish line.

It’s a curious thing where this competitive drive comes from for each individual. It appears to me that there are two principle types of competitive energies: one which burns by a flame borne of a desire to become the best and one of a desire to be better than others. It seems on the surface as though those are the same thing because competition is always about fighting over a single place within a hierarchy. But some people seem to compete out of a desire to be as good as they can be and use winning as a measure of success. Others seem to compete out of a desire to demonstrate that they are the best and use winning as proof positive. I admit it’s a hopelessly thin line, and I’d forgive you if you stopped reading right now, if you’ve even managed to wrestle your way this far.

I’m not a psychologist, but as a Dutchman I understand perfectly well that being loud and stubborn is all you need in order to talk about things you know nothing about. Both types can be incredibly fierce competitors, but those who focus inward often seem able to find a sense of satisfaction in defeat when they’ve competed at their maximum and come up short. They may well be disappointed or even angry at the thought of losing, but they will try again, and they will keep fighting and work to get better based on a willingness and desire to overcome their failings in previous attempts.

Those who focus outwardly typically hate losing, no matter how well they performed. Excuses will be made and others will be blamed in an attempt to justify to others (if also themselves) why they lost. I might even be tempted to perform the Standing Broad Jump of Logic (if you can accuse any of this of being logical) and suggest that externally focussed competitors are more likely to cheat than internally focussed ones because an internally focussed competitor would feel first and foremost that they are cheating themselves before others.

As Cyclists, we fly like moths to the fire of competition. The Pros are the extreme, and I personally wonder if the choice to dope or cheat is fundamentally made easier or harder based on where the core of each individual’s competitive spirit rests. We know now that all sorts of athletes dope and cheat, but how close we fly to the flame and what we are willing to sacrifice along the way to winning might be a function of where we find satisfaction in competition.

I love the heat, I love the things that I forgot

I loved the strings that tied me down and cut me off

I was a king, I was a moth with painted wings made of cloth

When did the flame burn so high and get so hot?

– Chris Cornell, Moth

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

The Grande Fondue says:

May 29 2014 at 11:35 pm

Strava up!
Ken Ho says:

May 30 2014 at 3:49 am

@Fronk

Dunno about the article. I'm too slow to be competitive, so I don't bother, but more importantly, that's a cool song from Audioslave, and one I had not been aware of. If I had to live in the US, it would be in Denver or Seattle. It must be such a cool place to be sometimes.

I do like to complete hard rides though, so my competitveness gets vented there.

Low horse-power diesel, I am. You don't get much, but you get it all day.
wiscot says:

May 30 2014 at 5:37 am

@frank

@wiscot

That Peugeot kit Thevenet is wearing is still one of the all time great kits. Ironically, it was worn by Merckx himself from 66 -67 and remained virtually unchanged until the team folded in 1986. Of course, in 75, when this picture was taken, Merckx was still suffering from "the punch" that had left him severely winded on the the stage that finished at the Puy de Dome. That's why he looks awful.

Interesting that you're focusing on the photo; I chose it because I like to try to decide what kind of athlete someone is, based on how they conduct themselves. Merckx was, I think, the internally focussed sort - he would attack when already in the lead just to prove to himself he could still make himself hurt. ThÃ¨venet of course famously beat Merckx by using drugs which makes me feel like he might have been the external type.

Ullrich to me was also hugely internal; his sportsmanship on Luz Ardiden being a great example of someone who would rather lose fairly than win unfairly...ignoring the fact that he also doped.

Armstrong to me is a classic example of the externally focussed athlete; it was all about beating others for him, he admits as much.

I think both types are perfectly normal and acceptable athletes, by the way, and I've been beaten by and have beaten both kinds. But I feel the strongest affinity for those who I believe are internally focussed.

I focus on the photos because I'm a sucker for good images. (I work in the arts . . . ) I know Thevenet admitted taking cortisone in his 1977 win (hardly the worst "drug" admittedly, but it did have some serious physical consequences in subsequent years, particularly with his liver ) but his 75 win was, I believe clean. He was busted in the 77 Paris-Nice for doping.
frank says:

May 30 2014 at 8:26 am

@wiscot

I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure he's come out in the last 10 or so years and admitted he used drugs to beat Merckx that year. I'm not seeing it in a 7-second scan of Wikipedia though.
Mikael Liddy says:

May 30 2014 at 4:54 pm

Interesting take on motivational forces in different sports from Scott McGrory after he spent some time doing conditioning training with some AFL players here in Aus. Also has some some points on Ullrich & his mentality perhaps limiting him from meeting the potential that his physiology allowed.

http://scottmcgrory.com/cyclists-vs-footballers/#read
Puffy says:

May 31 2014 at 5:44 pm

"It appears to me that there are two principle types of competitive energies: one which burns by a flame borne of a desire to become the best and one of a desire to be better than others. It seems on the surface as though those are the same thing because competition is always about fighting over a single place within a hierarchy."

Very fine line indeed. I know I train/compete to be the best I can be... but then when I see that in my club at least, there are only a small few that win against me on a regular basis I inwardly smile knowing they (the 90% slower) all know I am faster/stronger. I love it when people mention my ability to "dish out the hurt" but none of these things drive me to train, work harder, pushing into the pain cave longer. The only thing that pushes me to do that is a desire for personal perfection/best.