We’re heaping coals on the Giro frenzy that’s burning in all corners of the Cycling world by issuing the second installment of the monthly BigRingRiding Sur la Plaque series while at the same time kicking off the Six Days of the Giro series where we’ll post six articles on the subject of this, the best Grand Tour of the year. 

Yours in Cycling, Frank

IT’S GIRO TIME, IT’S SPRING. COME CORRECT ON Rule #33 PEOPLE, OR YOU’RE LETTING THE FUCKING SIDE DOWN. GINO AND FAUSTO WOULD NOT BE HAPPY.

BIGRINGRIDING

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  • I'd be a hairy bastard if I grew out the leg fur. Luckily, the VMH complains in the winter months when I may go a week or so without running a razor over them. I've now been doing it so long (~20 years) that the thought of having said fur flapping in the breeze on a ride, kinda repulses me.

    For those of you that aren't "allowed" to, maybe get your MD to write a order for you to do it (bring him a nice bottle of booze, they like that). Then it's "honey, I'm just following doctors orders, and we know how important that is right?".

  • I must confess that I fail to obey Rule #33 about 30% of the time. Furthermore I must confess that at the moment of this post I am currently in violation of Rule #33.  I am able to marginally justify shaving to my spouse during shorts season but during the cold months it is not tolerated well.  I counter in the spring by doing an initial foray into Rule compliance by using an electric shaver to knock down the really tall grass  which not only gradually helps my spouse adjust but keeps my bath drain from looking like I stuffed a wig down it.  I maintain this length through out knee warmer season and only go for the final clean up when the weather conditions dictate, which they just have, so I will once again be in full compliance with Rule#33 within the hour.

  • I shave all year, too long and it just feels weird all the time.

    Lets talk technique:  The hair at the bottom of my hamstrings grows up (opposite everything else).  Going the same direction as I do for the rest of the guns (with the grain in this spot) results in the hair getting missed a lot.  Going against the grain there causes lots of irritation when I am wearing pents.  What to do?

  • Spring is gesprongen in het great Pacific Northwest bitches. What a gorgeous day on Whidbey Island.

  • FYI - I have some pale Irish bastards in part of my lineage, thus, skin problems via Ra. This means the Velomissus really gets on me about wearing sunblock.

    For anyone facing VMH persecution for Rule compliance do not say "It's because it's in the Rules." Instead say, "Baby, I want to protect my skin and body so I'm around a long time to be with you. Smooth legs make applying sunblock much, much easier."

    If she tries to bring up the spray block say it's far more expensive than lotion, and that's money wasted that could be spent on dates (when you really mean a new Deda seat pillar).

  • @PeakInTwoYears

    Spring is gesprongen in het great Pacific Northwest bitches. What a gorgeous day on Whidbey Island.

    Is that a goddamn Croc I spot? SERIOUS violation.

    Ugg boots, bullshit Tom slipper shoes, Rollie Skate shoes, flip flops on fatarses with Double-Wide feet, sorority floozies in knee-high rubber boots because it rained yesterday, and those fucking shoes that are supposed to make your ass less jiggly because they have rounded soles are all totally fucked up.

    The lot of "in" BS shoes these days remind me of Kramer wearing the calf-training shoes. I'd rather be seen in those than the rest of 'em.

  • @DerHoggz

    I shave all year, too long and it just feels weird all the time.

    Lets talk technique: The hair at the bottom of my hamstrings grows up (opposite everything else). Going the same direction as I do for the rest of the guns (with the grain in this spot) results in the hair getting missed a lot. Going against the grain there causes lots of irritation when I am wearing pents. What to do?

    Observe rule 5 I'd say.

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