@mcsqueak

@motor city

How do you like the Morvelo stuff? I’ve been running across it on the internet a bit recently, but never seen it here in person.

Yeah, its pretty decent stuff. Its made in Poland which makes me wonder if its knocked out by the same dudeski’s that are making the new V-kit. I’d say the jersey sizing is fairly generous so if you are in-between you may want to go down a size not up, the shorts sizing (for me) were spot on.

They are based where I live and were set up by a couple of local riders so the LBS stocks it but I note they are doing free worldwide shipping. If the exchange rate rate works out well you might want to consider that:

http://www.morvelo.com/shipping-policy If you want to double check sizing drop them a line and I’m sure they’ll give you some personal advice.

Picked up a pair of the shorts.  I’m impressed – same quality as bibs twice the price.  I also like the Classic (the ones in the picture posted by @motor city).  Black, black, and more black.  Hard to find basic black and quality at the same time with other brands.  In my experience, most other brands save the “good quality” for the “billboard” shorts and cheap out on the ones with basic or no graphics.  Thanks for the lead.

I am fairly new to road biking. How do you know that it’s time to no longer ride with hairy legs? Do you need to be at a certain level before you start doing that, because shaving your legs shows a certain amount of commitment? Is there a certain speed or mileage which can be a good indicator?

The very fact that you are asking means it is time to try it.

@motor city

How do you like the Morvelo stuff? I’ve been running across it on the internet a bit recently, but never seen it here in person.

Yeah, its pretty decent stuff. Its made in Poland which makes me wonder if its knocked out by the same dudeski’s that are making the new V-kit. I’d say the jersey sizing is fairly generous so if you are in-between you may want to go down a size not up, the shorts sizing (for me) were spot on.

They are based where I live and were set up by a couple of local riders so the LBS stocks it but I note they are doing free worldwide shipping. If the exchange rate rate works out well you might want to consider that:

http://www.morvelo.com/shipping-policy If you want to double check sizing drop them a line and I’m sure they’ll give you some personal advice.

I shave all year, too long and it just feels weird all the time.

Lets talk technique: The hair at the bottom of my hamstrings grows up (opposite everything else). Going the same direction as I do for the rest of the guns (with the grain in this spot) results in the hair getting missed a lot. Going against the grain there causes lots of irritation when I am wearing pents. What to do?

Observe Rule #5 I’d say.

Spring is gesprongen in het great Pacific Northwest bitches. What a gorgeous day on Whidbey Island.

Is that a goddamn Croc I spot? SERIOUS violation.

Ugg boots, bullshit Tom slipper shoes, Rollie Skate shoes, flip flops on fatarses with Double-Wide feet, sorority floozies in knee-high rubber boots because it rained yesterday, and those fucking shoes that are supposed to make your ass less jiggly because they have rounded soles are all totally fucked up.

The lot of “in” BS shoes these days remind me of Kramer wearing the calf-training shoes. I’d rather be seen in those than the rest of ’em.

For anyone facing VMH persecution for Rule compliance do not say “It’s because it’s in the Rules.” Instead say, “Baby, I want to protect my skin and body so I’m around a long time to be with you. Smooth legs make applying sunblock much, much easier.”

If she tries to bring up the spray block say it’s far more expensive than lotion, and that’s money wasted that could be spent on dates (when you really mean a new Deda seat pillar).

Are you moisturizing afterwords? I get irritation if I don’t put lotion on after I shower.

Lets talk technique:  The hair at the bottom of my hamstrings grows up (opposite everything else).  Going the same direction as I do for the rest of the guns (with the grain in this spot) results in the hair getting missed a lot.  Going against the grain there causes lots of irritation when I am wearing pents.  What to do?

For those of you that aren’t “allowed” to, maybe get your MD to write a order for you to do it (bring him a nice bottle of booze, they like that). Then it’s “honey, I’m just following doctors orders, and we know how important that is right?”.

OK, for the record, my spending an extra 10 minutes in the shower in Rule #33 efforts is generally acceptable, but then getting out and dumping Rogaine all over my head is fucked up. It’s like fucking your sister: sure, she’s got a blouse full of goodies, and she’s a great piece of tail…but it’s just wrong.

Am I the only one that doesn’t understand the application of this metaphor, in this instance? I get it that the willful loss of something in one place you wish you had elsewhere could be seen as fucked up, but I don’t get the incest jest. Can you please ‘splain?

It was growing a pair and shaving them that got me into this bother!

You’re not supposed to shave your pendejos off your cojones!  (As Queen Isabella reportedly told Columbus.) No wonder people are asking how far up to shave! Are we cyclists or porn stars, for god’s sake?  Ah, well, you’ll do what you think is best, no doubt. As for me, today, I’m off for 165kms with my smooth guns exposed to the warm sunshine.

@DocBrian In that case, I will try to avoid giving you the opportunity to throw me.

@PeakInTwoYears , @DocBrian

It was growing a pair and shaving them that got me into this bother! I’ve tried the Mutually Assured Destruction route of suggesting she doesn’t shave her legs, but frankly I find the idea as repugnant as she finds my sleek pins, so that’s not gonna work either. As for her getting comments from any Mothers’ meetings, knitting circles etc. – unlikely. She would no more attend those than grow a second head. She’s more likely to be found out on her sports bike, or for that matter, her road bike than drinking coffee and swapping gossip.

The annoying thing is that my VMH is completely awesome, lets me get away with all kinds of nonsense and has put up with me doing a lot of crazy stuff over the years. Shaving my legs just happens to be crossing the line I never knew existed.

I may just opt for the middle ground and keep them trimmed to a non-wookie length and claim they’re growing back reeeeally sloooowly.

I take your point. A good fem is hard to find, so it is worthwhile avoiding the issue rather than strictly adhering to Rule #33.

It was growing a pair and shaving them that got me into this bother! I’ve tried the Mutually Assured Destruction route of suggesting she doesn’t shave her legs, but frankly I find the idea as repugnant as she finds my sleek pins, so that’s not gonna work either. As for her getting comments from any Mothers’ meetings, knitting circles etc. – unlikely. She would no more attend those than grow a second head. She’s more likely to be found out on her sports bike, or for that matter, her road bike than drinking coffee and swapping gossip.

The annoying thing is that my VMH is completely awesome, lets me get away with all kinds of nonsense and has put up with me doing a lot of crazy stuff over the years. Shaving my legs just happens to be crossing the line I never knew existed.

I may just opt for the middle ground and keep them trimmed to a non-wookie length and claim they’re growing back reeeeally sloooowly.

@PeakInTwoYears

Nice, I like that plan, I’m just not sure if she’ll even let me get away with ‘for big races only’ – the reaction so far has been quite definite on any future shaving activity – or the lack thereof.

No-one ever said the life of the Velominati was an easy one.

What’s good for the goose is good for the gander! Agree to ignore Rule #33 only if she does so too. Fem vanity and social compliance combined with approbation by her coffee club or knitting group or patchwork compatriots or which ever underground group she is involved with will assure your victory.

@DocBrian

I’m partly Rule #33 compliant after an inguinal hernia op.

Ow. Why were you lifting heavy things? Heal quickly.

more than 20 years of playing Judo at national and international levels all all the heavy weight work goes with it. The sport involves explosive twisting movement against strongly resisting opponents.

http://wookieepedia.org/w/Wookieepedia

Anyway, shaved legs dont look so good with a kilt, and summer only lasts a week or two here besides.

There are many things that I wish I could pull off but could never. A kilt is right up there near the top of the list. (Yeah, that would inflect the Rule #33 question substantially.) Kilts and pipes make me almost believe in past lives. Here I am a wee puny descendant of French and Italians, but the sound of the pipes makes me want to swing a claymore through somebody’s brains.  It’s a sad mystery.

Anyway, shaved legs dont look so good with a kilt, and summer only lasts a week or two here besides.

My only hesitation about regaining compliance was my lack of fitness when I got back on the bike at a certain age. Fat guns = /gag/. But I took the hint, here, and let compliance motivate me to earn the silky smoothness. Making steady progress and hit my weight goal for the end of April.

@JACD214  Yes, now for the cultivation of this year’s tan lines.

The guns were glorious for a few brief days.

Well. If she’s really being such a dictatorial pragmatical creature, I must agree with @ChrisO and (with all respect and in a spirit of good will) suggest that you grow a pair and shave your fucking legs. At some point, it ceases to be about leg hair, and if she can dictate your personal grooming practices now, just wait and see how much sway she’ll have once you’ve bred with her. I could tell you stories, from experience, that would make the rest of your hair fall right out from sheer terror.

Nice, I like that plan, I’m just not sure if she’ll even let me get away with ‘for big races only’ – the reaction so far has been quite definite on any future shaving activity – or the lack thereof.

No-one ever said the life of the Velominati was an easy one.

Yep, that’s my plan as well. I don’t think she can resist for long, and I know she’ll give in eventually. It takes two to tango, after all.

Exposure therapy.  

If she’s phobic about it, help her to heal. Be “reasonable” with her, “compromise,” and shave only before “big events.” Over time, as gradually gets over her response, the “big events” can come more and more frequently, until they consist of your daily rides…

I’m partly Rule #33 compliant after an inguinal hernia op.

Ow. Why were you lifting heavy things? Heal quickly.

Anyway, Rule #33 compliance has been expressly forbidden to the point of threatening witholding certain… services. Considering she really wants a Velominipper, the threat is a serious one.

So SHE wants the Velonipper… as far as I recall, that requires your involvement, Rule #33 compliant or not. Call her bluff.

My Velomissus was also opposed to shaving my legs but I just did it, and she had the grace not to complain afterwards. Though she still looks a little uncomfortable when I tell her I took so long in the bathroom because I was shaving.

Despite being a life-long Rule #33 dodger (for which read MTBer), I took our recent sunny training camp as the perfect time to become fully rule compliant. The guns looked great after 2 weeks of hills, sun and Rule #5, so imagine my surprise when my lovely and normally very understanding (and God knows I’ve put her through a lot!) VMH voiced her displeasure, bordering on disgust. Who knew that she has ‘a thing’ for my hairy pins? After 10 years together, I certainly didn’t. Anyway, Rule #33 compliance has been expressly forbidden to the point of threatening witholding certain… services. Considering she really wants a Velominipper, the threat is a serious one. I’ve tried everything including crashing to prove that bandages stick better (unintentional, got wiped out in a crit, but the scuffs and scrapes need covering) but the stance remains firm. So how should I get round this? I don’t want Rule #33 dispensation, I’d rather be smooth and sleek, but I’m struggling to find a way around this one.

Over to the Velomihierarchy!

@DocBrian

@sthilzy

. Do you use mechanical shears? Or do you persist with the classical Gillett blade?

Actually yes! When coming out of hibernation use electric clippers followed by a Gillette Mach 3 blade. Use foam followed by Nivea, or Palmers cocoa butter

Great work. Might run into you Ding to. Doing the 100 from Sorrento. Mainly because my young nephew is doing it for the first time and I want to ride with him. A great event. Kudos, Melbourne.

@sthilzy

. Do you use mechanical shears? Or do you persist with the classical Gillett blade?

Actually yes! When coming out of hibernation use electric clippers followed by a Gillette Mach 3 blade. Use foam followed by Nivea, or Palmers cocoa butter

@sthilzy

@Mike_P

This is an unbreakable one for me. Even if injured and on enforced rest, Rule #33 compliance is a must.

Opps. I tend to hibernate during winter (Melbourne) as long leg warmers hide my laziness to Rule #33.

Bugger – breaking Rule #33 also breaks Rule #1 and Rule #2.

Off to the naughty corner for me

.

My brother did the first computer survey and analysis of pollution in your old muddy Yarrah River, back in the early ’70s. Obviously he missed the dioxins etc that your parents must have ingested. We, of a different species, in the more temperate north, have less of a need to comply frequently with Rule #33. Do you use mechanical shears? Or do you persist with the classical Gillett blade?

Do you know that you could sell the off cuts of that luxuriant growth for mucho moula for use in stuffed toys?

Having given the usual Nsalut attraction to Vic, I will be there,mistaking at my brothers innHigh Street Road (opposite the college)  in Oct for the “LEGEND.”

@Mike_P

This is an unbreakable one for me. Even if injured and on enforced rest, Rule #33 compliance is a must.

Opps. I tend to hibernate during winter (Melbourne) as long leg warmers hide my laziness to Rule #33.

Bugger – breaking Rule #33 also breaks Rule #1 and Rule #2.

Off to the naughty corner for me

.

My brother did the first computer survey and analysis of pollution in your old muddy Yarrah River, back in the early ’70s. Obviously he missed the dioxins etc that your parents must have ingested. We, of a different species, in the more temperate north, have less of a need to comply frequently with Rule  #33. Do you use mechanical shears?   Or do you persist with the classical Gillett blade?

Do you know that you could sell the off cuts of that luxuriant growth for mucho moula for use in stuffed toys?

This is an unbreakable one for me. Even if injured and on enforced rest, Rule #33 compliance is a must.

Opps. I tend to hibernate during winter (Melbourne) as long leg warmers hide my laziness to Rule #33.

Bugger – breaking Rule #33 also breaks Rule #1 and Rule #2.

Off to the naughty corner for me

.

+1 Frank! Rule #33!

I am struggling today. I am announcing the winner of our little FB contest on the shop page and while the entire all-star all-time Team Paniagua p/b Cafe Roubaix is near ready for its official presentation, I am one cyclist short. I need one more master of The V to represent all that is great in our sport and I have come to blank for the “Management” selection. The team consists of the following, as voted on FB by our fans:

DS – Marc Madiot

Team – The Prophet, Major Taylor, Edwig Van Hooydonck, Christophe Bassons, Ryder Hesjedal, Jens, Faboo, and Sean Kelly.

I have narrowed my general manager selection to this short list:

De Vleaminck, Bauer, Coppi, Bartali, Pantani, Magni, Kupier, The Badger, Fignon, LeMan.

Fuck me with chopsticks…

Since you are looking for someone as boss, why not The Boss, Rik Van Steenbergen.  Seems to be an obvious choice for the shop.

Remember, as Kanuanua says, chicks dig scars

Don’t quite know what bizarre recreational pastime these chaps are participating in though

Think about where you might contract road rash. If you have a rash where your thighs meet your ball sack (“baw sack” in Glaswegian), that is not road rash and there is no need to shave there. Up the outside of the leg to the glutes? Affirmative.

I’m partly Rule #33 compliant after an inguinal hernia op.

My enduring complaint about Rule #33 is that the BFGs are so damn big that by the time I’ve finished shaving the second one, the first one isn’t compliant anymore.

Dude, that’s why you were born with two hands.

My enduring complaint about Rule #33 is that the BFGs are so damn big that by the time I’ve finished shaving the second one, the first one isn’t compliant anymore.

I envy you your T-levels. However you came by them…

I am still all fired up from the Casually Deliberate photo on BigRingRiding from a few weeks back. They’re better be workin’ it smooth, or else…

Don’t let the side down, Followers. DON’T!

Thanks for the 2nd installment BRR.

@PeakInTwoYears

Are you upholding the “I do it for crashing” line?

I do it because it looks fantastic. The “real” reason is for massage, which I bet none of us get.

i wrote an article on this for Cyclist – I prefer to blend into the rest of my bodyscaping, but its your call. I’m also not very hairy.

Just for fucks sake do your feet and toes too.

I living in Asia, I am blessed by being able to get a regular cheap massage ( just avoid anything titled volcano massage….). I find in does make the massage a bit smoother but the difference is limited. I think it just looks good on a bike……..

The big downside however is that coz its alway hot here, I always wear shorts  and have to put up the constant questions about my sexuality……..

@PeakInTwoYears

Are you upholding the “I do it for crashing” line?

I do it because it looks fantastic.

Not really, no. I also am motivated in this by aesthetics.  Hence, my initial remark above:

Just did the guns this morning in preparation for a self-supported century this beautiful weekend in the PNW. I may be an old fat little fucker, but by god I’ll look as fantastic as I can.

The later remark is just a holdover from my youth, when I was insecure enough to want a justification for the practice in general and, specifically, a rationale (any rationale) for where to stop cutting; now it’s just force of habit to think in those terms.  But, of course, habits can be silly.

Are you upholding the “I do it for crashing” line?

I do it because it looks fantastic. The “real” reason is for massage, which I bet none of us get.

i wrote an article on this for Cyclist – I prefer to blend into the rest of my bodyscaping, but its your call. I’m also not very hairy.

Just for fucks sake do your feet and toes too.

How do you like the Morvelo stuff? I’ve been running across it on the internet a bit recently, but never seen it here in person.

All damn year is the right time to be correct on  Rule #33. End of.

Correct answer. Plus one badge to you matey!

First properly hot day in the UK today since last Autumn. These chickens need some sun.

@Asyax

Ok, ok – if one is to truly enter the order of the Velominati and become Rule #33 compliant, where does one, ahem, stop?

Don’t listen to @mcsqueak or @piwakawaka.

The standard is “You’re shaving your legs. Stop where your legs stop”. Shave more if it floats your boat but such endeavours have nothing to do with #33. Do not stop just above the tan line. This results in the dreaded wookiee shorts look which has been known to frighten wives, small children and people of the trees everywhere.

Agreed…one does not sport the “hairy boxers”

Ok, ok – if one is to truly enter the order of the Velominati and become Rule #33 compliant, where does one, ahem, stop?

Don’t listen to @mcsqueak or @piwakawaka.

The standard is “You’re shaving your legs. Stop where your legs stop”. Shave more if it floats your boat but such endeavours have nothing to do with #33. Do not stop just above the tan line. This results in the dreaded wookiee shorts look which has been known to frighten wives, small children and people of the trees everywhere.

Ok, ok – if one is to truly enter the order of the Velominati and become Rule #33 compliant, where does one, ahem, stop?

Became compliant for the first time in 30 years of pushing pedals, this summer, take it slowly until you reach a height you are comfortable with, start with just above your tan line. It’s a high maintenance game for some of us but I haven’t had results as good in a long time and against Lycra it just looks right.

Stop at the eyebrows.

Correct good sir!

Just did the guns this morning in preparation for a self-supported century this beautiful weekend in the PNW. I may be an old fat little fucker, but by god I’ll look as fantastic as I can.

I am struggling today. I am announcing the winner of our little FB contest on the shop page and while the entire all-star all-time Team Paniagua p/b Cafe Roubaix is near ready for its official presentation, I am one cyclist short. I need one more master of the V to represent all that is great in our sport and I have come to blank for the “Management” selection. The team consists of the following, as voted on FB by our fans:

DS – Marc Madiot

Team – The Prophet, Major Taylor, Edwig Van Hooydonck, Christophe Bassons, Ryder Hesjedal, Jens, Faboo, and Sean Kelly.

I have narrowed my general manager selection to this short list:

De Vleaminck, Bauer, Coppi, Bartali, Pantani, Magni, Kupier, The Badger, Fignon, LeMan.

Fuck me with chopsticks…