Your friend needs to attend to Rule #3

I spent most of my teenage years punishing a mountain bike so hard that after each ride my handlebar would display a slight downwards curvature. I had no sensei, rules, technique, kit, sense of style, or shame. There was not a single meter on my bike other than my inner V-meter. The only timing was imposed by lunch or dinner time. I learn’t negative splits from sprinting home to make curfew hours and be allowed to go out the next day. I rode for pure enjoyment. Rule #6 was the only thing I knew. Even when I crashed. And I did that a lot. Life was simple. Life was good.

But then my friends all got expensive race bikes, kits, and followed boring training schedules. I could afford none of that and beer was much cheaper. So I lost interest in my beloved mountain bike and started running instead.

A decade went by and I was forced to stop running due to an injury in my Achilles heel. A friend gave me his old training bike, a heavy generic Aluminium frame with a surprisingly good Campy Gruppo and wheels, weighing in dangerously close to double digits (my mechanic calls it his favourite “schitzo” bicycle, as it has equal parts of greatness and shittyness). With the bicycle came one line of advice: “Get out there and HTFU, motherfucker. When you are prepared we will ride together.”

A year and a few thousand kilometers have gone by and I am yet to ride with my friend. The responsibility is too great and I am not worthy. Not yet. My guns are still too weak, my spirit too feeble to be worthy of such an honor. I strive to follow the vie Velominatus, my bike is clean and matching, my kit is pristine, and my socks are white and obey the Goldilocks principle. I ride to be worthy of that ride with my friend, my Sensei, whenever it may come. Yet when I ride, my teenage self comes back, I ride for pure enjoyment again.

This is what my Sensei did for me: a cheap bike and a one liner. Mr. Miyagi would be proud. As would Yoda.

But I would also like to mention the Silent Sensei. The one in the black Dogma, pristine kits, and perfect stroke that has been consistently humiliating me in the nearby climb for the past year. The Silent Sensei rides past me without even a hiss other than the sound of his tubulars against the hardened pavement. His face is unfussed, his breathing is more controlled than a ninja’s. There is only the slightest nod as he drops me, awe inspiring guns glistening in the sun, while I am left wondering how I managed to live this long with no lungs and toothpicks for legs. The class is over, the lesson is simple but brutal: “Rule #5, motherfucker”.

Vive la Vie Velominatius.

been riding MTBs for over 20 years but just bought my first ‘proper’ road bike, in part because of you guys…

Equally important are my wrenching sensei, as they have guided my hammed-fists in to less hammed-fists…

On a very hilarious related note, Chris was over today. He said he was looking at the pics of his new bike and wondering about the bar tape/seat/frame color combo. He asked all the right questions: “My bars and saddle are white but the frame is red at the seat tube and black at the head tube, does that look okay?” Hmm: “The bars and saddle match the decals though, is that right.” He continued. “I want things to look cool so I went to “your” site (Velominati) and started reading the Rules.” Mind you, I hadn’t mentioned the site, let alone The Rules. I think he noticed my name badge. “Then I saw Rule 8.” He said. “Turns out I was totally on the right track and the bike will look cool the way it is.” I was laughing my ass off. A budding velominatus who came to it without my senseiship. Chris also has an MFA and has an eye for aesthetic balance and color. Being that he approved of Rule 8, we should be grateful from that standpoint.

I would bet the 381 just have heavier lugs and carbon, but the same basic ride.

@Marko

Sorry guys, no experience with them, or ever heard of them to be honest. You can’t swing a cracked carbon fork here without hitting five indie builder, so it’s hard to keep track.

Welcome! Aberystwyth, eh? I’m a dirty Yank but I’ve got family from that part of the world. Met a few of them at various family reunions. I need to make it over there at some point…

@Sam
Nice entrance. “proper weather beaten cyclist”, well put.

Welcome. And get well soon.

My grandad should have been my sensei, i have memories of watching the tour back in the 90’s and specifically Eric Zabel. He used to build me mountain bikes to riding round town, but despite the fact i used to race against the other kids round his house, he never gave me a racing bike. Made all the more surprising by the fact that he helped set up Otley Cycle Race, which has a good reputation and attracts good names, Cav came a few years ago and Ben Swift rode last June.

My life on a road bike began in thrid year of Uni, in Aberystwyth, UK when sick of not being able to afford the wished for road bike i bought a 70’s Raleigh Equipe, steel frame and all, no Reynolds 531 tubing, toe clips and all for £50 and i joined the local cycling club.

There are some serious riders in this neck of the woods and i spent alot of the 1st year of riding getting dropped, increasingly less so as my legs solidified and i grew wiser in using my drop gears shifters. In these riders were some men who pointed out things like a Eurosport deal is £4 online and i should watch the pro’s race and so on, and there was Tim. Proper weather beaten cyclist who can just lay the power down at 55+ helped me over hills and dropped off the back with me on several occasions telling me he was struggling too, never believed him. Helped with little things like cleat positioning and tricks with bike maintenance.

I then tackled the local TT, the club has a few routes and Tim was running the time keeping that day, i recorded my fastest time of 28:49, at which point he said “that on that steel frame of yours, it’s bloody genius” despite being well down the order, and that is why i got on with him, continual encouragement through and welcoming the pain, which is essential in any cyclists outlook as you have stated here.

I have a Cannondale CAAD8 now and i can bury myself on climbs and chaingangs and live in the pain and actually get results. Unfortunately last semesters work and a vicious bout of Glandular Fever has reduced my fitness significantly (as well as my weight which is a little win out of it) but i’ll be back on soon.

I never really had any one mentor into all things cycling. As a kid, I always rode bikes – Sting Rays and a few department store “10 Speeds”. At that time, I knew nothing about road racing and it was the beginning of BMX. So when it comes down to it, I was just copying real motocross on my BMX converted Sting Rays waiting for the day I could actually afford an actual dirt motorcycle. That came a few years later with a succession of motocross motorcycles, loads of trail riding, and some racing as well. During that time, I still goofed around with bicycles however – always dug both – pedal and moto powered.

A few more years later, dirt motorcycle days waning, college in progress – got a job at a bicycle shop – this was the early ’80s. Most employees rode just for fun, but a few actual road racers worked there for a short time. I was fascinated by the prospect of racing and peppered both dudes with many questions. Previously, I talked about racing with some of the older bike shop pals – who’ve been on training rides, etc. They said forget it – way too tough – with stories of getting dropped on training rides with racers. I figured no way and blew off the idea.

Later, when I expressed interest to one of the actual racers at the shop. He said buy that bike – a Fuji Team hanging off the ceiling – and let’s go. Start training, let’s give it a go. Unfortunately, I didn’t follow his advice and blew the small sum of money I’ve saved on a ratty used Fiat X 1/9 instead. That’s another (stupid) story, but the encouragement he instantly gave me stuck with me. I also remember watching him race the Tour of Nutley (old race in New Jersey) and talking with him afterward – thinking the whole scene was super cool. We’re talking 1982 or so – old school stuff. He also didn’t own a car and rode everywhere, which I thought was amazing. I’m embarrassed to admit I don’t even remember the guy’s name, I knew him all of a few weeks – but he made an impression on me for sure.

I didn’t really start riding seriously until after my bike shop days were over – wacky enough – after I scored my first “professional” job with a real pay check. A new Miyata mountain bike and used Raleigh road bike followed shortly. This was 1984 and I’ve been obsessed with it all ever since. I never road raced, but did wind up racing mountain bikes. I’ve always been a magazine fanatic and have been reading bicycle magazines since 1981 (still have ’em saved now) – so learned plenty from reading and always semi-appeared to know what I was doing – even if just an illusion at times.

Over the years now, I’ll take some credit for turning other people onto riding as well. I’ve always been the “bike guy” at work, organized rides, fixed bikes for people, gave advice on what to buy, etc. The latest was a co-worker from a previous job. She was having trouble fitting bikes being barely 5 feet tall. She stopped over one day to show me her ill fitting hybrid bike, I showed her some info via websites, gave her shop names and bikes to test ride. She wound up with a custom fitted, budget priced, sweet steel bike from a shop in Seattle. She’s planning to ride the STP this summer on it. Great story.

I repeat these stories not to say “Hey, look at me – Mr. Know it All” – but because it actually gives me great joy to get people riding. It’s a cool club to be a part of – commuters, racers, road, dirt – who cares man, just do it. As most people reading this blog know – it’s awesome stuff and we’re gonna try to sell it to anyone interested. True?

Ride on.

those jerseys are the nutters.

That’s me on the left pre-race in early ’82. The dude in the middle is one of my sensei, Bruce-san.

Marcus:There is nothing as galling as handing out tips and advice to a cycling neophyte only to have him thank you for the advice a few months later (esp the lesson on the definition of half-wheeling) by dropping you like a bad habit in the hills. Oh the shame of it.

This is what I meant by recent, although to be fair it’s been happening for about a decade now. I’ve been in the trade for over thirty years.

How to pick up a cap (or anything really) at near speed without dismounting. This is the result of a teammate taking off someone else’s cap and hurling it up in the air and no one near the back catching it. The victim rolls off, turns around, grabs the cap at speed, turns around, and has to bridge back. Just a little extra interval pain for everyone else’s pleasure.

At the start of a roller climb, imperceptably holding on to a teammate’s saddle and soft pedaling.

As you mentioned, the slap of shifters as you go by. Related–putting a teammate’s bike in his 53×12 while he’s inside the store getting something to drink/eat.

During a lull on a training ride, slide to the very back of the peloton, yell out like your about to crash, and drag a Coke can on the ground. The whole peloton scatters.

While behind someone, make the sound of a flat tire so they look down and stop pedaling for a split second. Then lay down the V, hard!

Merckx, I loved my senseis for all of this crap.

Warning: Never do any of this in a group where you don’t know the skills of everyone there. Also, never do any of this until it’s been done to you so you know what it’s like to receive this shit.

@reverend dick
Ah – Rev – Do I know you? There is something about your little vignetts that just seem so familiar??

I was wrong. Me on my brand new shiny bike with Sidi shoes and Time pedals, he on his old beast with – likely – running shoes and toe straps. Sufferfest for me; learning experience for sure.

I’ve since transitioned to a DeKerf Prodigy (Steel is still real), and to the aged side of “old age and treachery will overcome youth and skill any day”. One day I’ll introduce my own Kohai to the world of the Velominati.

I was in tenth grade (1987) in high school and a new kid moved to my Vermont high school (Oxbow High School in Bradford, VT) who was a pretty good cyclist. He became my best friend and I started to hear more about cycling through him, who was the only person within 40 miles who had a bike worth more than $50 bucks and competed in racing. His name was Bill McDonnell and he became a US Pro over the years and a super XC skier as well. I have now lost contact with him but he totally introduced me to the world of cycling and I have never been the same since!

Nestor Gernay, DS of the now defunct Ten Speed Drive Team in the northeast was my mentor. I rolled into his shop, frosh year of art school with my 1st Colnago with Campy friction downtube levers, my V1 pro and my best Atlantic Bicycle Club gawdy kit. I asked him how to get faster, in typical Flem-triteness he pointed to the nearby “Hunter Loop,” and told me to ride there and in the wind.

Meh, I thought. So much for intervals, ladders and other go fast rituals… I thought he was clueless and old for that matter… until he dropped me like a fat kid running stairs at the local group ride.

He was spot on. Manners and etiquette. And laying down the V before I even knew (until recently) what V even meant, besides HTFU. A lot of people in this area””and several national champions””owe a lot to this seer of Savannah, chapeua Mr. Gernay!

If you’re ever in the area, check out his namesake series The Nestor Cup.

After thinking about this for a bit, I am somewhat sad to say I’ve never really had any real cycling mentors. I have had people who have influenced me, but never anyone who has steadily been a mentor and helped me grow.

At the top of my list of cycling influences would be my late father, who cycled a lot with me as a kid, and was with me for every mile of the boy scout cycling merit badge, where I received my first taste of The V as a kid (to this day I remember how much those damn hills hurt as a struggled up them on my shitty old kid bike).

His old Schwinn was my first road bike, and I still own it and ride it occasionally. It’s heavy as all get-out so I don’t take it on “pleasure” rides often.

Souleur:
So, just let them find it for themselves, afterall, being a cyclist and an example is ample enough for them to see.
so, thats been my approach. Approachable, reasonable, helpful but never pushing someone to ride.

I like this idea a lot. I have one good friend who got into cycling independently of me, so we push each other hard on rides and it’s all good. However, for my non cycling friends (or friends who will bike to a bar but that’s about it), I have found that they don’t really understand or appreciate the sport side of cycling, or why someone would get up at 6 am on a perfectly good Saturday or Sunday and be out the door for a 40 mile ride before most people in my age group are even up for the day.

A good friend told me never lead someone else like a ‘good friend’ into cycling. It will only be a disappointment. Either, they will be wrong about everything or they will take off and kick your arse. So, just let them find it for themselves, afterall, being a cyclist and an example is ample enough for them to see.

so, thats been my approach. Approachable, reasonable, helpful but never pushing someone to ride.

I have been lucky enough to get a bunch of friends into cycling, maybe not become road cyclists, but at least riding road bikes around to commute, for exercise, etc.

Mistakes along the way – the first race I toed the line for…I did so in a pair of blue adidas sambas with Giant toe clips grabbed off my first mountain bike, purchased with lawn mowing money when I was fourteen.

My sensei? I never really had one. I picked up bits and pieces of advice here and there from other riders, did a ton of article reading, picked through good stuff on forums. And heck, I brought a good sense of dedication, style, and appreciation for the small things from other sports I played growing up. Just like Frank and learning to wear a ski cap properly while growing up on the mountain, I brought some of my knowledge of inherent Rules from other sports.

I need to find a sensei though. At the moment my most frequent riding buddies don’t quite live La Vie Velominatus. They like to ride hard, but don’t care much for flash bikes or sharp kit. It’s almost like the missed out on that part of cycling.

Good luck, Marko. I’m sure you’ll make a fine sensei!

Marko:
@Oli Brooke-White
Recent? I figured you’ve been a sensei for years.

Without wanting him in any way to be held responsible for the rule-breaking fred I turned out to be, Oli’s a big part of the reason I’m into the sport. From helping me piece together a bike, to not getting fucked off with my constant mispronunciation of Bianchi, he’s put up with a lot of over-enthusiastic conversation. Chur.

Marko:
@all
So riddle me this. Would it be weird though if we were rolling around on pretty much identical bikes?

Depends… Are you then going to give him a sweet deal on some V-Bibs and a V-Jersey? ‘Cos that’d really be where weird starts.

So riddle me this. After having the requisite discussion on the pros and cons of different frame materials, gruppos, sizes, etc, I’m poking around online to see what’s potentially out there for Chris. I happen across a Serotta Colorado AL in his size that’s virtually identical to Il Gruppo Progetto. Different paint scheme but same ultegra 6500 gruppo and it has Mavic Open Pro 32h 3x rims. Looks to be in excellent shape. IMO it’d be a great bike for him to get started on. Would it be weird though if we were rolling around on pretty much identical bikes?

@Rob
Chris and some other friends and I did a small local charity ride this past fall. He had the sense to at least put slicks on his mountain bike. None of the other guys were really road cyclists either so I organized them into a pace line. I had the sense to ride my cross bike so I didn’t stick out like a sore thumb with #1 and look like the douche who shows up to the knife fight with an Abrams. At any rate, I got them all to see the fun and efficiency in group riding and would push up the pace every now and then just get them thinking. I think this too got Chris thinking. That and he’s got a really cool VMH who wants him to get a bike so she can get one.

@Greg
As a former ski and paddlesports store employee I can totally relate to that.

@Oli Brooke-White
Recent? I figured you’ve been a sensei for years.

@foghorn leghorn
Nice. And good to see you again.

Remember Mr Miagi pointing to his head & heart and saying “Karate here.” Teach patience Sensei and start him out on rule #6.

@colin, nicely expressed as well by the way

I should say, though, there are few sites (any? this one, of course) that compare with more experienced riding partners as a source of info. No site is going to critique your climbing style or whatnot.

http://www.cyclingtipsblog.com/
This is a site that does as it says on the box: Cycling Tips. Archive s are pretty good, but Wade’s site has morphed a bit lately into more of a newsy sort of page. Which is fine; his blog and all.

This site has been like my sensei in a way, teaching me about all that makes this sport so special and the rules that should, or must, be followed.

Just as a matter of interest, what are the how to sites that you guys can recommend?

And pay attention to older, wiser riders however you meet them on your various cycling related ventures. A cyclist many more years in, from a different era, will have many wise and unpredictable notions to add to your knowledge and experience to the passion.

It is never unwise to prompty advise newbs on basic equipment use, ettiquette, and bike cleanliness. Teach those whom are eager, and learn from those whom have arrived at their place in the world of cycling.

Shame for this new cyclist when he buys his first bike and finds out not all bikes are that nice!

I have acted as a a quasi-sensei to a number of mates and it can be a dangerous position. There is nothing as galling as handing out tips and advice to a cycling neophyte only to have him thank you for the advice a few months later (esp the lesson on the definition of half-wheeling) by dropping you like a bad habit in the hills. Oh the shame of it.

But, I’m still forever grateful. You know who you are. Merckx Bless You.

As for showing a newbie the ways of the Velominati, I lead by example. I ride with dignity, with grace, and in a straight line. I am clean. My kit is clean. My bike is clean.

If I see a novice, guilty of breaching at least 60 Rules simultaneously, I ride with him, handlebar to handlebar, and engage him in small talk. Once familiarity is established, and he no longer has to squint from the glare of my magnificance, I gently explain that the pad thingy sewn to his shorts goes on the inside. And it’s pronounced “shamm-eee.” And I’m sure the gas station up ahead has a bathroom where he can excuse himself to turn his shorts right side out. And he can, if he chooses, take a moment to scrub away the chain grease from his calf, his hands, his cheek, and his forehead. And that it’s okay, I will watch his bike for him.

I could go on. But there’s really no need. You, too, have made similar journeys.

I am thankful that I have never been put in the position that you are in especially, with a guy who is good with needles. I have no advice but maybe try the above method – it might just have merit…

Sorry, I could not resist. In all seriousness John Allis, original hardman, took me in hand at a time when it was just me. He was 35ish I was a virginal 22ish and keen. John’s method was consistency. We met 6:30 most mornings and did the “Allis Loop” a 30-40 mile out and back from Belmont Mass. Always in a 42-17, always with John in front and me trying to pass him on any hill and never (at least until I started racing more than him at the time) being able to get my wheel an inch ahead of his – for 2 years. Along with the physical indoctrination came the stories of racing and thus a sort of how you do it from the questions I would ask. This was all before the net and the only reading was the old pre color Velo News which had no how to stuff.

I do not know if this helps, you might want to go slow with your mate and give info in little bits. If you can do solo rides with him and show him things as they come to him rather than swamp him with info.

What ever you do do not show him this site! He will start running even if his knee is in bits. Good luck – let us know how he does.