I have met @chris on the original Keepers Tour. He seemed like a reasonable person at the time. Then again, @rob passes himself off as a rational person yet he signed up for the Too Much on 100 ride and completed it. People sign up for these crazy rides because it forces them to get in the best shape possible. It makes these long rides more enjoyable or less horrible or both.
But either way, you will hate your life at some point during these rides and vows will be made never to do anything like this ever again, if the sweet baby jesus sees you to the other end. But then the ride is over and you’re pretty psyched and then before long you forget how much it sucked and all of a sudden you’ve signed up for the next one. Its genius, that kind of stupidity. And speaking of stupid things, @chris is even auctioning off a jersey signed by team Garmin.
Yours in Cycling, Gianni
Some might say that I’ve done some stupid things in my time, which I wouldn’t necessarily agree with, but this has to be a strong contender for the most ridiculous. Manchester Velodrome, home of the mighty Team GB track team and road programmes that turned out the like of Wiggo, Cav and Geraint Thomas, to the Olympic Velodrome in London.
350 kilometres in a day. In a day. Fuck.
It seemed like a good idea at the time. How hard could it be? It’d be a great challenge that would raise money for a good cause with the added benefit that I would be forced to really train properly, cut back on the post ride recovery drink, tighten up the sprinters muscle and generally invoke more Rule #5 than I’d previously imagined possible. Along the way I’d most likely risk completely alienating my poor Velomiwidow and cause her to truly come to hate that fucking bike but all for a good cause. (Fortunately the Velominippers are largely on my side.)
Reading the blurb on the Rapha site, part of my brain must have done a great job of ignoring the bit of blurb that described it as hard riding and noted that the first climb would be Snake Pass in the Peak District. Snake Pass has been dropped from the route but it hasn’t got any flatter. There was also a nasty little hill in the last 20km that made me seriously contemplate a compact and dinner plate sized cassette for the day. Emasculate my bike or risk having to get off and walk? Tricky, but Rule #5 carried the day and the standard remains.
This is going to be by far the toughest thing I’ve done on the bike but it’s for a great cause, Ambitious about Autism is a national charity that helps children and young people with Autism to learn, thrive and achieve.
Autism is a lifelong developmental disability which affects 1 in 100 people in the UK. It affects the way a person communicates and how they experience the world around them.
Ambitious about Autism works to improve the services available for children and young people with autism and increase awareness and understanding of the condition. They’re also committed to campaigning for change to ensure the needs of people with autism are understood and met.
Through TreeHouse School and Ambitious Support the provide specialist education and support. If you’d like to know more about Ambitious about Autism watch this short film, read their impact report or visit the website.
It’d be fantastic if you’d go as far as sponsoring me but at the same time I get that 99% of you have never met me and are never likely too so I’d completely understand it if you’d rather save your charitable spend for someone you know and a cause that might be closer to home. There is another way, though. Jonathan Vaughters was kind enough to donate a 2013 Garmin Sharp team jersey signed by approximately 20 members of the 2013 team including Alex Howes, Christian Vande Velde, David Zabriskie, Fabian Wegman, Jack Bauer, Jacob Rathe, Michel Kreder, Rohan Dennis, Ryder Hesjedal, Andrew Talansky, Steele Von Hoff, and Tom Danielson. The jersey will be auctioned on ebay with all of the proceeds going to Ambitious about Autism* (I’ll pay any ebay fees, postage and any customs charges incurred). Just be warned, it would look awesome on my study wall so I might be tempted to bid as well! Click here for the Auction and if you do fancy sponsoring me as well, follow this link to my Just Giving Page.
Four months after signing up and a month before the ride, the truth is dawning that despite having a months gardening leave in May, I have not trained properly, I’m too fat to climb and I’ll be lucky if I’m peaking in two months. That’s by the by though, I won’t look out of place grimacing in a Rapha film and nobody will notice how slow I’m going in slo-mo.
*All of the money raised, both from donations and the Auction will got to Ambitious about Autism. The costs of organising the ride are covered by the riders and have already been paid.
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@Bespoke
The second weekend in September is going to be epic. Trust me
Chris, as a survivor of 2-much-on-100 I can assure you that you will likely meet TMWTH. Was I upset when I did? No way. I had prepared myself by having some constructive negotiations with my legs after the first 200 km or so. We had each others backs, em..hammies, umm..whatever. Just be thankful that the climbing is up front and doesn't start until km 240 (Mt Snow: I'm looking at you, ya bastard!).
You'll be great. Just keep away from the vino and keep on riding!
-cal
Did JV give you any Chateauneuf to stick in the wine rack to go along with the jersey?
Best of luck, sounds mental in the best of our traditions.
@Chris
Ha! Thanks! It's for a good cause, and hopefully we can add some motivation for your ride. I will definitely be anxious to hear how it goes.
I suppose this is as good a place as any to offer a few more words of introduction. I live in the Arizona desert, so this time of year I have to do my Rule #9 rides heatstroke style. I alternate between the road and the mountain bike. Current stable of bikes N = 5. Actually 6 if you count my single speed that I use to ride around town with Mrs. Mango. Sadly, only 1 of the main bikes is a road bike. It never rains here, so I can get away with that for now. (In my defense, it's a nice Pegoretti, so I don't often want for another.) I got my nickname sometime around 1990 - I happened to be reading a cycling magazine with a Bridgestone ad, which prompted me to jealously proclaim in a quiet room "I wish my name was Pineapple Bob!" Apparently, this is sort of statement is unusual, especially to a non-cycling roommate. After some confusion and laughing hysterically, he started calling me Pineapple Dave. However, my two cycling friends rode Bridgestone bikes (MB-3 and MB-zip) and were/are huge followers of the Cult of Grant Petersen. There was no fucking way that a Specialized rider (me) was allowed to claim any of the Pineapple lore. In fun and in mocking, they started calling me Mango. Somehow it stuck.
Great cause. As for the distance, I have nothing to offer except may the force be with you.
Enjoy your ride chris, it will be a noble one!
@Chris
What time will you set out?
In my last teaching job, a teenage Aspergers student came to my office one lunch time and asked if he could join the MTB team. The team was already pretty full and the rides difficult to manage because of the wide range of ages and abilities. I knew very little about Aspergers but I knew this kid a bit. He had some unusual ways and was clearly "different" but he was getting along OK at a big school, with regular kids in 9th grade. He told me about his bike and the local trails he rode. He drew me a map of a trail network a few suburbs away which I'd never heard of. I gave him the training schedule. I rang his Mum. Who was I to say no? My only worry was how the smart-ass kids would treat him.
It all went so much better than anyone imagined. He was never late, never forgot a piece of gear, never missed a ride, learned how to fix his own bike, always listened to advice, always said thanks at the end of the day. He was a safe downhiller, ate a bit of dirt on the 4X track (who doesn't) but on XC days he was in his element. We had us a diesel!
That year he came to the national school championships. Its a serious competition but also encourages participation at any level. He got top 10 in both short and long course XC. He was completely surprised and overjoyed. I'll never forget his Mum choking back tears after the short course when he'd had our whole team up on their feet screaming his name and cheering him on. She said she'd become so used to him being an "outsider". She'd never imagined he could find a place in sport where he could compete for real. MTB turned out to be a perfect fit.
He's left school but we email occasionally. He rode an open age 100 MTB race his first year out. Placed 27th overall. He told me afterwards that he accidentally lined up at the start with the elite men but was too scared and embarrased to move back. When the gun went he was so panicked about holding up the elite riders that he just kept pace with them instead. For the whole race. Classic part of his Aspy traits. Funny.
Enjoy the ride, Chris. Great cause. Ambitious about Autism sound awesome.
@Chris Epic is the word no mater what the weather! Cal and the rest of us had a blissful day for our 350 jaunt and funnily the course profile was almost the same but the reverse of what you are doing so no worries about that little bump on the outskirts of London. The best advice is eat a lot and often so you have no downward spirals, liquids replacement is ok but solid food is a must too so that between the bottles and things like rice balls you are taking in something every 15-30 minutes. Also I wouldn't do too much the last week so that you are rested. If you haven't done the big miles by the 2 week mark it won't help anyway.
I will post up a donation to a great cause in a day or so - sorting out my paypal account as I write.
Have a great ride , it will be one of the most memorable endeavors of your life!
Nice work. Enjoy (if that is the right way to capture riding such a auffer-fest) the ride