I’m not sure where this ride falls on the graph of fitness but down towards the bottom, somewhere.
There can be a point in every rider’s season where each ride ends the same. FFS, I suck. The unabridged volume of self-loathing is reviewed, cogent chapters reread, aloud, in the bathroom. I’m Too Fat To Climb is a chapter I like to quote, chapter and verse.
Luckily stubbornness, the right amount of dumb and experience keep me from throwing my steed in a dumpster. None of us do walk away from our bikes because we have all gone through this, maybe every year. You keep going out, doing the rides, coming home to pull that damn book off the shelf. What happened? Life got in the way again.
We remember being good cyclists. We used to dance up those hills, a slow dance maybe but we danced. The bike and human were one, united in the pleasure and pain of covering vast amounts of ground. But now it’s just sweating, head down graceless riding, listening to friends disappear up the road as they merrily chat away.
Then without warning on a subsequent ride, it happens. Is it cooler? Do I have a tailwind? Did I double down on my espresso? What is going on here? This is the Ah-Ha ride; one of the best rides of the year. Bike would, if it could, be saying, where the hell have you been? There may be no fitness or grace going on yet but there they are, out there on the horizon. And they are getting a little closer. All I want is that signal from the body that improvement is possible. These pointless rides are not pointless. That psychic burden can float away; that idiot book can stay on the shelf. I am a cyclist.
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I'm waiting patiently for the a-ha ride to arrive. Due to some smashed fingers, dark evenings, and the fact I don't have my new bike yet I've been spending some time on the turbo and seem to be getting progressively slower over 10 miles.
I'm going to put it down to variability in the resistance, but that wont wash for long...
Yesterday was an Ah-ha ride for me. Fall is well entrenched here in SE WI and only a few stubborn trees still bear leaves. The night are getting colder and the mornings and evenings darker. After work rides are almost impossible unless I get out a wee bit early.
Friday was a day off and the forecast good. I set out and it clouded over only to return to sun and mid 50s. Great ride of 120 kms and I tried some new roads. Saturday I had to work and it was upper 60s but windy. No loss. Sunday was supposed to be cooler but not so windy - it turned out top be the goldilocks day. The wind was negligible, the sun out and warm at times, the roads clean and dry and traffic light to non-existent. I was looking at 100kms but as ride time approached I thought sod it, I'm doing 160. It was great. My legs felt good, the bike was silent, my food/drink consumption just right. It was a joy and one of those rides that gives extra satisfaction because it's one whose memory will be cherished over the winter. It was a reminder of why we ride our bikes. It was likely the last great ride of the season (hopefully not) but everything after this will not compare. No matter, it was sublime. Ah-ha indeed.
@the-farmer
Yes. Always wishing.
@gianni Spot On. Especially remembering being a good cyclist. I think about that all too often. In months and years past feeling like I could fly (slowly), but now everything is struggle. My mantra is- Tomorrow I will be stronger.
@Gianni
I would be ready for the Keepers Tour, just unable to get myself and my bike over there....
I have said this in other threads, scattershot, and had not registered til right now but....
-recovering fatguy
-still kinda fat even now
-started riding with just general 'bike people about town' but with a fixed-gear... got skinnier fast.
-it became (as other ppl stopped showing up) me getting shown how much i sucked by other fixie bros. so i Rule V'd it to keep up and somehow the 'hard core' of the taco truck ride (i realize this sounds p. lame) is now a ride no one wants to go on, and we don't eat tacos and just hurt each other. weird, right?
-recently I have been not sucking on those rides and even besting those 'social ride' friends without especially trying hard
-but god damn when i set out on a "try to be a Velominatus and ride hills" ride i get my card pulled (by myself! 196/201 riders? really Strava? Strava: "Really, dude, you suck")
I am waiting for the day when it all comes together, but I am not stressed about sucking. Sucking means there is a way forward, and i am not Training Properly at *all* so I am inspired to do so by this group, so thank you all, i guess!
sorry, this was meant to have said:
-have had that 'ah ha' moment in a different group
-totally not having it now that i try to be like you lot.
sorry for not being clear
I can't see it but someone must have pointed out that that seat needs to be half an inch higher.
@Ccos
True wisdom that
Some days I wonder if I am even worthy of putting a chamois on. Invariably, I do and as the pedals turn, the lazy fat ass transforms into a graceful bird. There is magic in those two wheels, you just have to sweat it out of them.
@Ron
I am having a similar time with the bike these days. I rode way more than I expected this summer - 5 AM training rides twice during the weekdays and at least one long ride every weekend. But the summer is slow in my line of work...and so I'm busier now and it's dark at 5 AM and I'm out of town more, so the rides are less frequent and I always feel like shit when I do get to ride. Although, even still, hills that would hurt me in May are still nothing now.
I think part of it is there's fewer other cyclists out there to push against/with, and the cold winds and long nights and that general wistful feeling of fall diminishes our feeling of accomplishment during the "high season."