Categories: Look Pro

Choose Your Parents Wisely

Taylor “best parents possible” Phinney

Evelyn Stevens was working on Wall Street four years ago and is now the best American women cyclist. How is that possible? Her parents must be enjoying dinner with pulses of 40 bpm and sky high VO2 maxes. Are they both professional marathon runners? Is that how they met? Maybe they have never attempted aerobic sports. If Evelyn has siblings and they are not professional athletes, I hope they are taking advantage of their superior aerobic thresholds, somehow, like hustling people at the city public lake. It’s easy money.

Hey youth, fifty bucks says I can swim across the lake faster than you, with this cigarette in my mouth.

No way tubby, you are on.

It’s a source of frustration for me as I bump my head against the low ceiling of my genetic limitations. “You can be whatever you want to be!” That is such nonsense. Every professional rider is a genetic freak, they certainly aren’t physiologically normal. It’s not all hard work and desire. It may be all hard work, desire and a better than average cardiovascular system. Training, weight loss, diet will bring one up to one’s own maximum fitness but we are all bracketed by how we chose our parents. Having the perfect amount of dumb may be my only professional qualification. I don’t want to be a pro, I just want to casually crush my friends and I can’t.

Greg LeMond did a fantastic job choosing his parents. As a junior he was beating the best seniors in the country. As a twenty-two year old he was winning the World Championship. LeMond took his natural talent and went out there, got his ass handed to him and kicked some ass too. I admire his jumping into the deep end when Sean Kelly and Bernard Hinault were already in the pool, waiting for him. I like Andy Schleck less because I sense he is relying more on his natural talent than hard work.

The guys I really admire are the ones who are dealt a less generous genetic hand and still make it into the professional ranks and get a little glory. Ludo Dierckxens is my kind of rider. He was working full time painting trucks at the DAF factory yet training after work and racing on the weekends. The selection to become a professional rider in Belgium must be the toughest in the world. At age thirty he signed his first contract for Saxon (?!) in 1994 and strung together professional contracts until he landed on Lampre in 1998. In 1999 he won the Belgian Road Championship and won the 11th stage in the Tour. Most professionals would be happy with those palmares.

Fabian Wegmann is another great rider to watch, he always looks to be on the edge of anaerobic destruction, dying just to stay on a wheel. I can relate to that.

But enough of the professionals, I’m a little sick of them right now. We are the ideal cyclists. We ride for the fun rather than the money. We get all the pleasure and as much pain as we care to endure and then as much as it takes to get back to the house. It is perfect.

Early on as a cyclist I understood I had chosen my parents badly. I wasn’t paying attention. I take that bit of information, fold it up and put it away in a drawer when I go out on the bike. I am still healthy enough to ride myself into the ground. Occasionally I can outsmart someone, or scrub off less speed in the corners or use my awesome mass to distance people on descents. I may get shelled when the road goes up but I’m going to look good when it happens. I take my quiet little victories when I can.

This video is a bit the of 2006 Giro Lombardia.  Wegmann is the last man still with il Grillo as the race gets serious. Wegmann drops his flash light deep in the pain cave. Enjoy.

 

Gianni

Gianni has left the building.

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  • @wiscot

    Ron, obviously riding is the core activity of the velominatus. However, circumstances both seen and unforseen can really have an impact on that. What remains, no matter how many kilometers are ridden, is the attitude and adherence to the rules. Should you remain true to these, you shall remain a velominatus.

    Hey wiscot. This was very much a "seen" one. Finishing up the final step of graduate school. A self-driven project at this point so for too long I rode my bike like crazy to feel accomplished each day, but did little work. Now I realize it's time to get crackin'. A wife & a new house, both great, but it's time to move along. Plus, I could be getting paid for the work I'm doing as soon as I finish! Very good motivation.

    I will not waver in attitude or adherence! I felt that yesterday. I only rode for an hour, it was an errands ride with a few stops, but damn, it felt great to be outside, in nice kit, and on a nice, finely tuned bike.

    Thanks for the words of wisdom! And, in reality, if I'm just efficient with my time I can still ride most days of the week!

  • @Ali McKee

    "But enough of the professionals, I'm a little sick of them right now. We are the ideal cyclists. We ride for the fun rather than the money. We get all the pleasure and as much pain as we care to endure and then as much as it takes to get back to the house. It is perfect.."
    Can I be the first to say this is brilliant?
    Brilliant.

    awesome.

  • LOVE the shout out to Ludo Dierckxens!!!  That guy is such a fooookin hardman!  Loved him from when I first became aware of him during the 2001 Paris-Roubaix and that goofyass helmet he wore.  Guy just exudes hardness.  Per Paul Sherwin, all of Ludo's friends "made" him go pro as he was just killing everyone on the weekends and working away during the week at a blue collar job.  Now that is class.

  • @Oli

    I am lucky if I can ride one day a week, my bib-shorts are somewhat more snug than they should be and I'm slower than a glacier, but I'll be fucked if anyone says I'm not a Velominati!!

    YES!!!  A-Merckx to that shit!

  • @Chris

    @Oli Hear, hear! I've not really ridden properly in a month but it doesn't change what I am.

    @Gianni, there's enough stuff that I blame my parents for so I'm going to put the fact that I'm not a pro down to drinking, smoking and generally arsing around too much in my late teens and early twenties. Obviously, if I'd wanted to, I could have been a pro.

    +1.

  • I chose parents, who at the age of 56 and 59 had to have knee replacements, and took the metabolism from my mom, who gains weight, merely by looking at food, whilst my dad eats and drinks more than me, while doing no exercise whatsoever, and still manages to weigh a good 25 kg less than me. Bastard.

  • @Ron

    @Oli

    I am lucky if I can ride one day a week, my bib-shorts are somewhat more snug than they should be and I'm slower than a glacier, but I'll be fucked if anyone says I'm not a Velominati!!

    Ha, YES! Perfect. This sets me straight & puts me in the right mindset. Hope everyone has a great weekend planned or...unfolding.

    I did an organized two day event recently.  I had a flat from a tiny sliver of glass soon after the beginning of the second day.  As I was changing tubes, a motorcycle support guy pulled up.

    Support guy - "You look like a rider that has everything you need, but I have a floor pump if that will make things easier."

    I took advantage of the floor pump and then noticed and commented that all the riders had passed me by and were well up the road.

    Support guy - "Well, I don't think you will have any problem catching up."

    His impressions were 100% from following The VVay and 0% from my form.

  • @Ron

    I guess I'm asking how some of you handle less riding. I know some of you train daily and race and love that. I also know some of you just ride for fun, leisure, and the occasional Communing with Butterflies. I guess I'm worried that I might have to turn in my V-membership card because I'm not hammering it daily for 2-3 hours. I did that for a few years since I had fewer commitments and more time, as I was fucking off with my work.

    Clearly there are people here who work in riding into their every day life. I see some of them posting on Strava.

    However, it's easy to lose the forest for the trees on here, especially when one of the key passtimes of Velominati is to take the piss out of each other over riding, following the rules, being hard, and all that.

    Ride as much as you can to still enjoy it, no more and no less. I'm currently struggling with the transition from summer riding (when I can ride as much as I feel like) to winter riding, when I'm more constrained by work and the weather. Some of that summer riding volume is replaced by trainer rides after work, but that is a poor replacement and even a hard trainer session doesn't replace the simple pleasure of riding the commute to/from work.

    I've had one good ride in the last two weeks and it's killing me, but that's how it goes some times. Just don't go months without touching the bike and you'll be fine.

  • My father always used to point out that with my ancestry I was lucky that I was capable of wiping my own arse...I may have exceeded his expectations somewhat.

  • @itburns

    His impressions were 100% from following The VVay and 0% from my form.

    When I run across random cyclists on my rides I get constantly asked about what team I ride for, and comments like "haha you'll probably drop me on this next hill up here", that sort of thing. It's pretty funny actually what people assume when you look put together. I guess its sort of like walking into an office and seeing the guy in a suit vs. the guy in the shorts and stained v-neck shirt.

    It blows me away because I'm not what I'd consider fast. I'm certainly faster than a lot of recreational cyclists, but when I ride with racers I have to really work to hang on. I did a roller ride with @scaler911's team last weekend and was busting my ass just to stay in visual contact with the bunch when we really starting going up and down the hills.

    Hard work will do a lot to overcome genetics. My dad was in pretty good shape before he got sick and died, and my mom has always been a small lady. However I remember when I started cycling a few years back just how hard it was to even go a few miles down the road and back.

    I think about that now when I can go an bust out over 100ks on any day I want without a problem and it sort of blows me away. And it makes me feel that all the time I do dump into riding pays off, even if some days I still feel slow.

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