Categories: Il ProgettoNostalgia

Il Gruppo Progetto: Resurrection of a Pirate

The corollary of Rule #12 is that one focusses the bulk of their energies on upgrading Bike #1 with the result that upgraded gear typically cascades down to Bike #2 and on down through Bike #n. This is The Way of Things; Bike #1 gains the most, but in the end, they all benefit as upgrades trickle through the stable, with the oldest and most worn gear falling from the bottom where they are either discarded or await enough accumulation to justify another build.

There comes a day, however, that we find ourselves needing to inject an upgrade into the hierarchy, an upgrade which disrupts the Natural Order. This was the case when I reluctantly replaced my XL EV2 with my new Soloist frame. My EV2 holds a dear place in my heart. I built her bit by bit, from components scavenged from eBay over the course of an entire winter. She was at my side (under me, actually, if we’re going to pick nit) as I rediscovered La Vie Velominatus. She was built from scratch in homage to one of my all-time favorite cyclists, Pantani, and his elusive 1998 stallion. She was the first bike I owned that fit me the way I wanted. She was the first bike I had with compact geometry, she was the first bike that cleft my heart in two when I crashed during a crit and destroyed the frame. (I quickly replaced hers with another, identical frame, which is the one I have today.)

Suffice it to say, to have her hanging from a nail in my workshop is a dishonor to this beautiful, loyal friend who carried me back to fitness and through some of the greatest ride’s I’ve been on. Never once did she complain that I was too heavy. Never once did she cringe in agony as I pushed harder on the pedals. Never once did she point downhill when the road pointed up. She carried me through the 2003 L’Etape du Tour and up l’Alpe d’Huez on the morning of the stage. She carried me home after bonking in the heat of North Carolina. She guided my rear wheel back to safety as I was slipping to certain death under a passing semi-trailer on a rain-slicked railroad track.

We have been through a lot together; she must be resurrected. But the question is, in what form?

Bikes are meant to be ridden. I have a carbon Bike #1 and a steel Bike #2, both of which are generally ridden in good weather only, although accidents do happen and they do find their way onto wet roads occasionally. I have a sublime Alu Bike #3 which boasts an identical fit to Bike #1 and serves as my rain bike, thereby getting by far the most use. As far as road bikes go; I have the spectrum fairly well covered and I fear that adding another will mean that she lives out her life being overlooked for my daily rides and go largely unridden, a dishonor almost as great as her current state of limbo.

What I don’t have, however, is a commuter bike; a bike to ride to the cafe or farmers market. A bike to hop aboard and pedal to the office. Do I build her into a commuter which gets ridden, if not in the spirit for which she was intended? Or is this a bigger dishonor than not riding her at all? If I do build her into a commuter, do I rider her with drop bars and my old STI shifters, or do I opt for a set of commuter-friendly mustache bars which I’ve fancied ever since I spotted my first Bridgestone X0? Downtube shifters or bar-end shifters? Full funders and wide tires, I think, though how wide is possible on her tight racing geometry?

Or do I build a funeral pire and set her ablaze, allowing her noble soul to return to Merckx on Mount Velomis to be reborn to someone else’s stable?

Fellow Velominati, I submit to your input: how best to honor this noble steed?

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • Fuck all that. Ghetto TT bike. drop stem, use your zipps, get a non setback seatpost or a Thompson that you can set forward and some aero bars. Hurt yourself in TTs. Stop and repeat till you buy another Cervelo.

  • @Steampunk

    You know, the more I think about this: While I'm a modest 179cm, my son is threatening to be ungodly tall...

    That can often signify the kid isn't yours.

    But onto more important matters - I agree with Marco. Fixify (my made up word for the day) the Bianch Frank. You will get the most use out of it this way. It's just another frame - this is how you think when you THINK PRO.

  • Oh Christ, someone put me out of my misery, what exactly is a fixie hipster?? Doh!!!!

  • @Marko

    +1. I like Marko's idea. It would be pretty cheap the implement as well, and would render a fun errand bike as a result.

  • @mcsqueak

    @Marko
    +1. I like Marko's idea. It would be pretty cheap the implement as well, and would render a fun errand bike as a result.

    +2 Marko's idea.
    Drops and the onlly gear needed for the purpose.
    Put some nice brakes on it. 28s should fit.

  • Ooh, gosh, setting her ablaze? Hmm, I suppose my vote goes to either putting the frameset on the wall in your shop as a badge of all the rides you've shared or building it up into a do everything bike. But, then you run into the dilemmas: platform pedals or mountain pedals, drops or risers, fenders or not?

    And, should such a nice bike be build up for such utilitarian purposes?

    One actual suggestion - do you have any friends who you could coax into road cycling by gifting them such a bike? Then it would have a second chance to turn someone into a Velominatus & provide them with hours of cycling joy.

    It seems a bit of a shame to turn such a nice frameset into a proper commuter; that's maybe better left for a less sexy frame.

  • And yes, mustache bars make me cringe. I do not like them on any bike, much less one with such a history.

    Besides, how can a man who cannot grow decent facial hair put bars with such a name on his cherish steed? Blasphemy.

  • If you're not sure what you want to do with it, why not just keep it as art in your bike cave until you do know? To me that's less of a travesty than building it up as something it's patently not, and it's not as if there's a time penalty on holding onto cool old bike gear.

  • @Oli

    If you're not sure what you want to do with it, why not just keep it as art in your bike cave until you do know? To me that's less of a travesty than building it up as something it's patently not, and it's not as if there's a time penalty on holding onto cool old bike gear.

    Agreed.

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