Categories: Il ProgettoNostalgia

Il Gruppo Progetto: Resurrection of a Pirate

The corollary of Rule #12 is that one focusses the bulk of their energies on upgrading Bike #1 with the result that upgraded gear typically cascades down to Bike #2 and on down through Bike #n. This is The Way of Things; Bike #1 gains the most, but in the end, they all benefit as upgrades trickle through the stable, with the oldest and most worn gear falling from the bottom where they are either discarded or await enough accumulation to justify another build.

There comes a day, however, that we find ourselves needing to inject an upgrade into the hierarchy, an upgrade which disrupts the Natural Order. This was the case when I reluctantly replaced my XL EV2 with my new Soloist frame. My EV2 holds a dear place in my heart. I built her bit by bit, from components scavenged from eBay over the course of an entire winter. She was at my side (under me, actually, if we’re going to pick nit) as I rediscovered La Vie Velominatus. She was built from scratch in homage to one of my all-time favorite cyclists, Pantani, and his elusive 1998 stallion. She was the first bike I owned that fit me the way I wanted. She was the first bike I had with compact geometry, she was the first bike that cleft my heart in two when I crashed during a crit and destroyed the frame. (I quickly replaced hers with another, identical frame, which is the one I have today.)

Suffice it to say, to have her hanging from a nail in my workshop is a dishonor to this beautiful, loyal friend who carried me back to fitness and through some of the greatest ride’s I’ve been on. Never once did she complain that I was too heavy. Never once did she cringe in agony as I pushed harder on the pedals. Never once did she point downhill when the road pointed up. She carried me through the 2003 L’Etape du Tour and up l’Alpe d’Huez on the morning of the stage. She carried me home after bonking in the heat of North Carolina. She guided my rear wheel back to safety as I was slipping to certain death under a passing semi-trailer on a rain-slicked railroad track.

We have been through a lot together; she must be resurrected. But the question is, in what form?

Bikes are meant to be ridden. I have a carbon Bike #1 and a steel Bike #2, both of which are generally ridden in good weather only, although accidents do happen and they do find their way onto wet roads occasionally. I have a sublime Alu Bike #3 which boasts an identical fit to Bike #1 and serves as my rain bike, thereby getting by far the most use. As far as road bikes go; I have the spectrum fairly well covered and I fear that adding another will mean that she lives out her life being overlooked for my daily rides and go largely unridden, a dishonor almost as great as her current state of limbo.

What I don’t have, however, is a commuter bike; a bike to ride to the cafe or farmers market. A bike to hop aboard and pedal to the office. Do I build her into a commuter which gets ridden, if not in the spirit for which she was intended? Or is this a bigger dishonor than not riding her at all? If I do build her into a commuter, do I rider her with drop bars and my old STI shifters, or do I opt for a set of commuter-friendly mustache bars which I’ve fancied ever since I spotted my first Bridgestone X0? Downtube shifters or bar-end shifters? Full funders and wide tires, I think, though how wide is possible on her tight racing geometry?

Or do I build a funeral pire and set her ablaze, allowing her noble soul to return to Merckx on Mount Velomis to be reborn to someone else’s stable?

Fellow Velominati, I submit to your input: how best to honor this noble steed?

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • I received from my brother in law his mid-80s Colnago. It was slightly too big for me but for years I oogled the frame ... the geometry ... the chromed lugs ... Ave Maria!!!! I stripped it down, "fixed" it and never looked back. It begs to be ridden and never sits unused. I commute everywhere with it. Bottle cage is perfect size for coffee mug. The Pirate would want this ridden in whatever condition it was in. -The Buoy

  • While mustache bars look perfectly normal on a Grant Petersen Bridgestone they have NO place on a Tour-bred Bianchi. The very fact that you even considered such leaves the door open for a coup d'etat.

    While I loathe the fact that Fixie Hipsters have flooded the streets with what can only be described as travesties, maybe you can be the catalyst for taking back what is rightfully ours and turn her into a drop barred fixed geared bike - sans brake caliper(s) of course.

  • Do a commuter build; BUT do it retro cool. Campa C-Record, down tube shifters, 28h double butted spokes laced to Mavic Open Pro Ceramic rims. Then Race Blades for fenders.
    I do like the mustache bars, saw a couple Bridgestone X0 in the LBS last night (very cool), but not what I'd do to your EV2.
    Nice frame BTW.

  • FNG (Fucking New Guy) here, so although I'm not sure how much my opinion may count, I feel compelled to give it. In NO way, should you bastardize this bicycle. If you love her as much as you profess, you need to treat her the way she deserves. Build her the way she was meant to be built with a classic style. If you feel such a strong connection to her, MAKE the time to ride her appropriately. Remember, although you aspire to look and act PRO, you are not- you have a balance between life and the bike. Use bikes 1 and 2 for the V, and think of this bike as a perfect opportunity to truly experience the essence of rule #6. I say, take her out on a beautiful Saturday afternoon with the VMH, a bottle of wine in the back pocket of your V-Kit, and find a nice field to relax in and just enjoy the melding of the two loves of your life.

  • @Lee

    FNG (Fucking New Guy) here, so although I'm not sure how much my opinion may count, I feel compelled to give it. In NO way, should you bastardize this bicycle. If you love her as much as you profess, you need to treat her the way she deserves. Build her the way she was meant to be built with a classic style. If you feel such a strong connection to her, MAKE the time to ride her appropriately. Remember, although you aspire to look and act PRO, you are not- you have a balance between life and the bike. Use bikes 1 and 2 for The V, and think of this bike as a perfect opportunity to truly experience the essence of Rule #6. I say, take her out on a beautiful Saturday afternoon with the VMH, a bottle of wine in the back pocket of your V-Kit, and find a nice field to relax in and just enjoy the melding of the two loves of your life.

    A-fuckin-Merckx. Build her to complete '98 specs and use her for the long, recovery rides where the ghost of Pantani will be beside you.

  • @Cyclops

    While mustache bars look perfectly normal on a Grant Petersen Bridgestone they have NO place on a Tour-bred Bianchi. The very fact that you even considered such leaves the door open for a coup d'etat.
    While I loathe the fact that Fixie Hipsters have flooded the streets with what can only be described as travesties, maybe you can be the catalyst for taking back what is rightfully ours and turn her into a drop barred fixed geared bike - sans brake caliper(s) of course.

    Let me get this straight, because I want to make sure I understand correctly: in one breath you suggest a coup d'etat, and in the other suggest I convert a road bike into a fixie? A fixed-wheel bike, if I'm to reclaim what is ours from the hipsters, can only be a track bike ridden on the road, with straight dropouts and track geometry.

  • @Lee

    FNG (Fucking New Guy) here, so although I'm not sure how much my opinion may count, I feel compelled to give it. In NO way, should you bastardize this bicycle. If you love her as much as you profess, you need to treat her the way she deserves. Build her the way she was meant to be built with a classic style. If you feel such a strong connection to her, MAKE the time to ride her appropriately. Remember, although you aspire to look and act PRO, you are not- you have a balance between life and the bike. Use bikes 1 and 2 for The V, and think of this bike as a perfect opportunity to truly experience the essence of Rule #6. I say, take her out on a beautiful Saturday afternoon with the VMH, a bottle of wine in the back pocket of your V-Kit, and find a nice field to relax in and just enjoy the melding of the two loves of your life.

    I've been down this path of logic as well, and the trouble with this is that the TSX is generally used for the expression of the greatest sensations of Cycling. She had to be retired because she didn't fit quite right any more, causing me little troubles such as back and knee pains due to the differences in position in light of my position on the R3.

    For the easy ride, I reach for the TSX who otherwise would suffer the same fate and go unridden. On rainy days, I reach for the Soloist in order to best match my position on the R3 and offer an easy transition between the two bikes I ride hard.

    My fear is that by building her into a road bike, she will be built to fill a gap in my heart, not my stable and will nevertheless go unridden, despite any vows I may make at the time of building her.

    @scaler911
    I like the way you're thinking about this.

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