Categories: NostalgiaThe Rules

Reverence: Inhaling a Wasp

Jan Ullrich: Inhaling Wasps since 1997

I have to admit, until BigRingRiding bestowed upon us the honor of gracing their site with our humble image, I had never heard the term “Inhaling a Wasp” being used as a climbing tactic.  My Great Aunt once swallowed a wasp; she was rather portly and since I think the wasp might have been in her cocktail I'm reasonably certain she wasn't riding a bike at the time – to say nothing of climbing. I believe my Great Uncle poured a pint of motor oil down her throat to treat the situation and I'm assuming that he did this as an erstwhile remedy and not out of vindictiveness. I can't imagine it was “pleasant” in the traditional sense of the term, although the family story doesn't detail how it all worked out for her, the oil, or my Great Uncle.

But back to cycling.  I think what all of us here at the Velominati like most is The V being dished out using a Big Gulp or bigger container.  At the end of the day, there is little less interesting than watching a herd of robots pedal their bikes up a steep hill without the least bit of emotion or effort showing on their faces, but with loads of speed in their legs. Common competitive wisdom is to never let your rivals know you're suffering, but bollocks to that. Whether I'm on the bike or watching a race, nothing beats seeing it all left on the road, with the pain of each magnificent stroke showing on the faces of those doing the dishing.

Inhaling a Wasp is the look a rider has on their face when they've dropped their jaw down like the shovel on a front-loader, scooping up mouthfuls of air in an effort not to quench, but to fuel the fire burning hot in their lungs and legs.  Jan Ullrich was the master of this look, and any time I'm engaging in a long climb, steeled against the suffering I know is to come farther up the road, I channel my best Ullrich look and take solace in the notion that despite the squares I'm pedaling, perhaps I might at least look a the slightest bit like Der Kaiser.

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/Ullrich/”/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • Steampunk :Gesink did a pretty good wasp inhalation this afternoon in holding off the pack in Montreal.

    Absolutely! I was there - awesome race

  • @frank
    still think you're off the mark with Cavendish. Unlike Armstrong who stated at 21 that he didn't care for the history of the sport and for anyone's reputation, Cavendish knows and respects the sport. Why do you think Milan San Remo mattered so much, the same will go for any of the monuments he thinks he might be able to win one day, Flanders, Roubaix and that's why he wants to win the Worlds. I thik it's also a massive part of why he so far hasn't wanted to win the Green Jersey at the Tour by winning intermediate sprints, he'd rather the purity of winning by winning stages...it's almost aesthetic. Anyway, I would have thought you'd like his attitude: heart-on-sleeve tell-it-as-it-is approach. Or is it just because he beats your hometown boy all the time?

  • Nice article Frank.

    PS I have never felt anything for Armstrong either I must admit; Ullrich oozed class on a bike and showed respect for others and historical events. It is indeed subjective but I found I liked this blog page a lot, then discovered many felt the same I did about the big names in cycling... There must be something.

  • @Jarvis

    Or is it just because he beats your hometown boy all the time?

    Ha-ha.

    No, I don't like Cav because he has no humility. I'm not sure how you can argue he has respect for the sport when he spits on other riders after causing crashes, and spits on the ground in front of fans who ask him questions he doesn't like.

    Having respect for races like MSR or Paris-Tours is not to be confused with respecting the sport; respecting the sport means you have a reverence for the history and culture of the event, and at the very least your colleagues.

    Add to that the fact that his sprints are mechanical and predictable, and there's little left to enjoy, little reason to get excited about bunch sprints. You see HTC start to wind it up in the last KM and you might as well switch off the tele.

    As much as I liked Cipo, the automation of the leadout train has really done damage to the excitement of the bunch gallops, much like Armstrong's GT approach was uninteresting either. I can appreciate the challenge in executing a plan like that, but what we see as fans leaves quite a bit to be desired. What we're seeing at the Vuelta is much better, however, and much more exciting and that's worth something.

  • For me, I became a serious "roadie" (as opposed to a cyclist - there IS a difference) a couple of years ago - it's taken me 25 years to "get serious". Since then I've stumbled around trying to find my "place" in the world of cycling, I've even been given my own personal CotHO to deal with. This person is the same sort of "robot" described above. He lives solely for "training" and "results". He has no life other than training. He doesn't seem very happy either. While part of me wants to do whatever it takes to grind him into dust I've discovered that I reap no enjoyment from this sort of "take no prisoners", robotic riding. Two weeks ago Frank tore everyone a new one about heart rate monitors and I went home took my HRM off of my bike and then "swallowed a wasp" and knocked a full minute off of my previous personal best up our local big climb.

    Passion is what sets apart the Velominati from the robots. Passion used to build our bikes and painstakingly file the lugs and hand paint the little details - now robots build our bikes. Passion meant riding and training just so you could be on the bike. Now robots are on the bike for a prescribed amount of time and effort. This past Saturday I was doing an 80km leg of a 330km race and found myself in a group of riders that were doing the entire 330 kilometers. I was fresh and these guys were hurting and I was getting off the bike in 30 clicks so I went to the front and pulled these guys for kilometers on end. Working for the good of a bunch of guys I didn't know from Adam was very satisfying - especially when it came time to part ways and to a man I received a hearty "That was awesome dude, thanks!" That's what it's all about - passion, fun, and not being a dickhead.

  • Could someone enlighten me on the mood surrounding Merckx at the TdF in 1973? After four wins they asked him not to start, but he won the Vuelta and the Giro that year anyway.

    Did they think he was this kind of unstoppable robot who could win every year as long as they would let him? (thus taking the unpredictability and emotion from the sport?) Or was it just the French fans who didn't want their man Anquetil to be dethroned?

  • @Cyclops
    Cyclops. That is awesome work on your ride and I think i appreciate it almost as much as the guys you were dragging along.

    I've misplaced my bike computer somewhere - I spent about 6 seconds looking for it but Frank's right on this. If i ever find it, it's going straight on ebay. Gadgets detract from the purity bigtime and since few / none? of us are racing at a top level there's no excuse. I have passed through a phase where I thought that you can never have enough stats - but i think I'd only enjoy seeing the stats after a ride.
    Comments please: what do people think about the use of a bike computer if you're trying to push a particular goal? Suppose you're going for your own personal hour record?
    Actually how sweet would it be to get some personal challenges going on here?

  • @frank

    "Maybe if I was less old..." 34, you gotta be kidding me. What is the average age of the Velominati? I just hit 39 for christ's sake.

    You still have time to follow the dream, find a sympathetic doctor to aid your quest, and dish out some serious pain to the peloton! Get moving!

  • Judy Blume beat you to this post about twenty years ago with her book Fudge-a-Mania. Although the club had a different insect inhaled, they still had a club name for it. ISAF - I swallowed a Fly Club.

    "Bicycle Bob - Bicycle repair salesman who acts as mentor to the children. When Peter accidentally swallows a fly, Bicycle Bob welcomes him to the ISAF club (I Swallowed a Fly) and recommends vanilla ice cream. According to Judy Blume, he is a real person."

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