There are two ways in life to be good at something. The first way is the most obvious, which is to actually be good at something. This is harder than it sounds because you need things like skills, talent, fortitude, and light sabers. The other way doesn’t require those things but it has its own challenges; basically, you have to be holistically awful at the sort of levels that make all the suck turn inside out on itself until it becomes awesome. American Flyers did that, and the fashion industry routinely uses this principle to their advantage, regurgitating fads and styles first as kitschy retro cool and then tricking us into thinking it actually looks good.
Cycling has happily been immune to this because our aesthetics were driven by function first through advances in technology; never in our history have we been so advanced that we felt the inclination to revert a step or two simply for the novelty of going backwards. The Velominatus may well be inclined to look to steel frames and three-cross box-section wheelsets for their durability and ride quality, but that is a luxury that we as amateurs enjoy without the demands of racing at the top level of our sport where events are won by fractions of percents gained through marginal advances in technology.
But apparently we’ve reached the stage now where Cycling style is being influenced by kids helmets and skateboard attire. I went for a ride with a good friend a few weeks back who was riding in Giro’s new baggy line of clothing. It flopped around like a sail in the wind generated by our own speed, and basically sent him backwards in the breeze that was blowing in along the coast. It looked good in the café before the ride, I have to admit, but last time I checked, Cycling clothing was supposed to be designed for Looking Fantastic while riding, not while sipping a doppio macchiato. (But let’s not understate the importance of looking good while sipping an espresso. We are not animals.)
And the helmets. There are accounts supported by doctored photographs floating around the internet of me wearing an ugly helmet, something I categorically deny ever happened. Nevertheless, let the record show that the lids the Pros are wearing these days are an abomination of style, culture, aesthetics, and progress. My Aeon is so light that I had to put on a few extra pounds just to make sure it doesn’t carry me off when I go outside. And guess what? It’s actually well-ventilated which means my sweet shades don’t fog up when I climb like the Evade makes them do. (Theoretically, of course. Because those photos are fakes.) And speaking of shades, I’m wearing a pair of Oakleys with photosensitive lenses that go from completely clear to black anodized depending on the light conditions. Also well-ventilated. That’s progress right there.
Riding a bike wearing an ice bucket on your head in baggy shorts and shirts with aviator sunglasses isn’t fashion forward, it’s Cycling – the most aesthetically independent sport in history – taking its cues from kids who think a long skateboard is an effective way to navigate through traffic. There may well be white space in the market for it, but that doesn’t mean it needs to be filled. We are the Velominati and we have standards, for Merckx’s sake.
Oh, and seriously, enough with the fucking beards. Rule #50, people. Sometimes you’ve just got to stand up and say we look like hell and I’m not gonna take it any more!
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@Wah-Balls I have it on DVD & it is all kinds of awesome. Once you've got it up, keep it up!! I regularly rotate that, Breaking Away, & A Sunday in Hell
Back in the mid 80s after a nasty collision with a car door, I wore a helmet while racing. Not training mind, racing. I think it was an IEG or something. It was a white plastic track helmet with some vents (holes) in it and a kind of padded infrastructure. Pretty compact and not too hideous. Way better than the one in the lead photo! In terms of effectiveness, it probably wasn't that great, but this was before the Giro Air Attack came out. Once those arrived, I got one.
@Pedale.Forchetta
That Giant Shimano kit really is one of the best looking ones I've seen in a long time. Not too garish or fussy, not too many logos. Just . . . right.
@Ccos
100 per cent agree with that, class is permanent.
@wiscot I'm with you, and I personally like their bike too.
MASH Transit
@PeakInTwoYears
The jury is out on POC. Their sunglasses, the jury is not out on, although their model this year is better than what Ryder was wearing last year. But their helmet is an example of pushing forward with design and safety. Sure, we think its ugly but I thought Ergo shifters were ugly too at one point. Maybe I'll keep thinking its ugly and maybe it actually is but I'll try one first and then let you know.
It's the step backwards to hollowed-out bowling balls that gets my ire up.
@marko
Did you just use Pippi Longstockings as a justification for a Rule Violation? And you call yourself a Keeper.
@Gianni
I'm with my boy Gianni here, not minding the Flouro and Hardy. Mostly because Cippo is the one who brought it back. And if its done tastefully, then I'm good. Except when Cippo is involved in which case I'd be disappointed if it was done tastefully.
Tried to post this in The Rules last night but it seems relevant to Frank's rant about baggy gear kit and wrong helmets. Angus hasn't entirely brought into the rules and is rocking camo baggies along with the full face lid. Ed may not be in cycling specific kit but he cares a lot about looking fantastic. Either way, they've both got a bit of pace.