There are two ways in life to be good at something. The first way is the most obvious, which is to actually be good at something. This is harder than it sounds because you need things like skills, talent, fortitude, and light sabers. The other way doesn’t require those things but it has its own challenges; basically, you have to be holistically awful at the sort of levels that make all the suck turn inside out on itself until it becomes awesome. American Flyers did that, and the fashion industry routinely uses this principle to their advantage, regurgitating fads and styles first as kitschy retro cool and then tricking us into thinking it actually looks good.
Cycling has happily been immune to this because our aesthetics were driven by function first through advances in technology; never in our history have we been so advanced that we felt the inclination to revert a step or two simply for the novelty of going backwards. The Velominatus may well be inclined to look to steel frames and three-cross box-section wheelsets for their durability and ride quality, but that is a luxury that we as amateurs enjoy without the demands of racing at the top level of our sport where events are won by fractions of percents gained through marginal advances in technology.
But apparently we’ve reached the stage now where Cycling style is being influenced by kids helmets and skateboard attire. I went for a ride with a good friend a few weeks back who was riding in Giro’s new baggy line of clothing. It flopped around like a sail in the wind generated by our own speed, and basically sent him backwards in the breeze that was blowing in along the coast. It looked good in the café before the ride, I have to admit, but last time I checked, Cycling clothing was supposed to be designed for Looking Fantastic while riding, not while sipping a doppio macchiato. (But let’s not understate the importance of looking good while sipping an espresso. We are not animals.)
And the helmets. There are accounts supported by doctored photographs floating around the internet of me wearing an ugly helmet, something I categorically deny ever happened. Nevertheless, let the record show that the lids the Pros are wearing these days are an abomination of style, culture, aesthetics, and progress. My Aeon is so light that I had to put on a few extra pounds just to make sure it doesn’t carry me off when I go outside. And guess what? It’s actually well-ventilated which means my sweet shades don’t fog up when I climb like the Evade makes them do. (Theoretically, of course. Because those photos are fakes.) And speaking of shades, I’m wearing a pair of Oakleys with photosensitive lenses that go from completely clear to black anodized depending on the light conditions. Also well-ventilated. That’s progress right there.
Riding a bike wearing an ice bucket on your head in baggy shorts and shirts with aviator sunglasses isn’t fashion forward, it’s Cycling – the most aesthetically independent sport in history – taking its cues from kids who think a long skateboard is an effective way to navigate through traffic. There may well be white space in the market for it, but that doesn’t mean it needs to be filled. We are the Velominati and we have standards, for Merckx’s sake.
Oh, and seriously, enough with the fucking beards. Rule #50, people. Sometimes you’ve just got to stand up and say we look like hell and I’m not gonna take it any more!
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@frank
Well that settles that one I guess
@pistard
Nicely put , the results speak for themselves.
@frank
Yup, Mary V is surely the boss of palmares.
Regarding the 'classic' legends and Wiggo needing to quit one discipline to be good at another, it's gotta be a generational thing.
Back then those blokes were all strong men rather than grimpeur twig legged spiders, but these days it seems you can't be that heavy to win a GT. But also these days you can't be a GT twig and win a classic neither.
So you have to adapt your physiology ala Wiggo because everyone else has maximised the science for their chosen speciality, and to win/place well across various types of road race (Mountains v cobbles etc), you have to beat other specialists. Back then it was who had the strongest legs and the best belgian pot, or something like that?
I'm not a fan of his (AT ALL), but there aren't many modern riders with Wiggins spread of experience and high level results across disciplines. I stand as having called him a glory hunting wheel sucker for his PR ride, but credit where it is due, he put the balls on the chopblock and went to ride it as a GT winner, and rode to a top 10, wheel suck or not. Respect.
It should be noted, any modern male rider that developed a Vos-esque dominance or Merckxist dominance for wins across said disciplines would be subjected to much dopingtalk.
@Mikael Liddy
From said wiki:
"he was asked if it was counter-aerodynamic to shave his legs but not his face. He said he had "won the team sprint and went 10.14 in Manchester, won the world's - wasn't too counter productive!" He said he shaved his legs "because it feels great in bed.""
Awesome!
Also http://www.youtube.com/embed/FkmCLOjk2h8
I dislike small S (refuse to consider them big, their tactics are small minded), but results very interesting as in, not as much of an effect as you would think.
Disclaimer: though I can and have harvested some solid chin fodder in the past, I will save it for when I need to hide a chin keel.
@Marko Please accept my most sincere apologies. I took the piss out of your orange mushroom head without actually seeing it in person but last night at my local club's town centre night time crit races there was a chap in the elite race wearing the POC and I found myself admiring it somewhat. If the fit was as good for me as the chap last night, I could be in the market for one, although for the price it's have to be very good.
Now all you have to do is either improve your selfie skills or grow your head a bit for it not to look like a Mario hat on you.
@wiscot
loved this pic that did the rounds of twitter this morning...
@frank I think she deserves one word, Vos!
@Nate Was it the sir bit that made him into a funny bastard?
@Fausto Crapiz
The time when he called the journos "wanker cunts" comes to mind.
@Marko
Yeah, I read what you said. Apparently you meant something else. ;)
I like Wiggins, but one TdF and 10th in PR is further away from LeMond and Hinault than the riders I named.
If it's adapatabily that counts then do Cadel's MTB World Cup wins count?
If it is PR plus stage race results then Cancellara's Tour de Suisse and Tirreno Adriatico gets him in the conversation (don't forget for a while people thought he'd turn into a stage racer)
Like I said, I like Wiggins too. But people underestimate how well rounded a lot of the top riders are these days.