White is a troublesome color; hard to keep clean. I have a white dress shirt that I never wear because even if I manage not to spill on the front of it, the cuffs and collar will look crap by the end of the day regardless. I mean, I can keep from eating something all day, but I can’t keep from drinking coffee or wine, and before very long some of it is going on the shirt, right were people check out my man-boobs.
I can’t keep my dress clothes clean, the ones I wear to my office. That’s a clean business, going to the office. And Cycling is a dirty business, even on sunny days there is a road grit and chain grease to contend with. And our feet and hands get the worst of it. Who in their right mind would ride with white socks and bar tape?
In my younger days, I started a website called ControlFreak, for which the tagline was “a term used by lazy people to describe someone with standards.” Obviously my writing skills had some room to grow and I was also too young to understand the practical complications of having things like “standards”. Nevertheless, I am proud of the sentiment. It was a first (malnourished) seed of Velominati; its uncompromising attitude built a fiber of the vein that runs through our heritage in this community. In the ControlFreak sensibility, white socks and bar tape are for those of us with standards of cleanliness; they are for the aesthetic steadfast who are willing to invest both the time and inventory to maintain a matching set of curtains and drapes. Black is for those who are too lazy to keep a clean house.
My Number #1 has always had white bars. The other bikes can have black tape because white bar tape is for leaders; Bike #1 is Alpha, the others are Beta – no matter how much I love them.
So why is it that I have been attracted by the blackness of my handlebars every time I unwrap the tape from them? I’m not talking about the Betas, I’m talking about my Alpha: my Veloforma Strada iR. It was a time of turmoil, maybe. Perhaps some unrest in the Force, where the Dark Side grew in strength. Or maybe I enjoyed too many Recovery Ales that day. The event was too long ago and too poorly documented for anyone to be certain, but the fact is, I wrapped Bike #1’s bars in black tap.
Let me say that again in a separate paragraph: I wrapped Bike #1’s bars in black tap.
No one else. Not the guy down the shop because he didn’t have anything else. Not the VMH. Not my sister. Me.
And I loved it.
The bike was so stealth I felt like I was riding a Sith. Actually, maybe not – I don’t think a Sith would stand for that sort of thing. Maybe I felt like I was riding a Sith Speeder.
But something was missing. I didn’t feel right. I felt a few centimeters off-center, so one night I picked up a new roll of fizik microtex and rewrapped the bars in white.
It felt good to go back, like taking a shower after a long camping trip. Or brushing your teeth after a night on the piss. There was something visceral about it. I brought the bike up to the bedroom and leaned her (gently) against the wall so I could gaze at her as I fell asleep. It felt good to know I had come back to my center. I had come back to expecting more of myself. I would keep my bar tape clean.
Darth Sidious said, “If one is to understand the great mystery, one must study all its aspects.”
Just because he’s a jerk doesn’t mean he’s wrong. Just so long as we find our way back to The Path.
That night, I slept soundly.
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At first blush, i would guess you to be about 1.88m...and riding a 54.
You see the world too much in black and white...you need a little color in there....
My Veloforma is on order. I have been agonizing over bar tape. This article does not help.
@Haldy Yep, too much black n white around. My next bar wrap will be red.
@Stephen
Wrong. I'm 1V and riding an AVVESOME.
@Haldy
Just some coaching:
I'm satisfied that I didn't have to make up a Vth item to call you out on, just to maintain symmetry. That buys you a kind of exemption.
@frank
The computer is there so I can follow Rule 71. Sometimes I need the data to properly perform the workouts laid out by my coach. Remember him..the guy with the massive guns you saw at Alpenrose during your Festum Hour attempt.
Electrical tape...walk into 99.99% of the bike shops in country and you find all the bars are finished off by electrical tape. That's how the pros( mechanically speaking..) do it. Any idiot can make a shoddy finishing job look good by using the provided camoflauge, I mean finish tape.
It takes a bit of time and skill to finish with the razor sharp "bandage" edge I have there. I challenge you to try and match it. I bet you a bottle of your favorite malted recovery beverage it won't come out as sharp as mine.
Just how drunk were you writing this? Even the sober editing missed more than a few errors!
Either that or you're just testing who actually reads the article.
@Mikael Liddy
I assume he was at least as drunk as I was when I touched something on my keyboard and my original (witty and extensive) post went away somewhere forever.
This article touches on something important. It might be bar tape. It might be something about OCD or "standards." I'm not inclined to be absolute about it. It's just fucking important.
@frank Hello, Frank!
I am new to this kind of sorcery - but could you please explain, what shall I use to finish my bar tape thing instead of an electrical tape? Is there some kind of a special tape used to "finish" the bar tape?
And on No. 5 - you mean you could see bits of bar tapes, after the "electrical" tape, thus it is not acceptable?
Looking forward your insights!