The Hammer and the Nail

Sometimes you’re the hammer, sometimes you’re the nail. I was a cheapy little Ikea one today. It was terrible.

– Geraint Thomas

It is strange, the workings of a the Cyclist as an organism. We are of three autonomous parts, Head, Body, and Legs. In the short term, there is little that fundamentally changes between them, yet their symbiosis can vary wildly; one day we are an unstoppable force and the next, little more than a tourist.

Condition is built gradually over a the length of a season or many seasons; it does not arrive in the post on a prescribed day just as it does not depart the train station per a schedule when its stay has come to an end. Yet, somehow, our performances can vary as though this were the case. This dramatic change is most commonly driven by the mind, a fragile beast that balances upon a knife’s edge where the slightest push can send our performance sky high or plummeting into the fiery depths of despair.

This is what drives the Cyclist as an aesthetic creature; clean bar tape, freshly shaven guns, and neatly arranged kit is the most effective way to control our form from day to day; no sense fooling with diet, or power meters – neither of those will tell you how Fantastic you look.

Which is why our investigative team, Research Unit for Logical Explanations of the Velominati ( RULEV ) has concluded that Geraint cracked horribly due to psychological injuries caused by losing his trademark white Jawbones, which were obviously his hidden Scepter of Morale. He looks magic in those shades, and complete crap in the Radars he was forced to ride in the following days. Our study also indicates that he could have avoided disaster by paying to overnight his new Jawbones in time to race in them again at the Tour; there are only so many days you can look crap before you start riding like crap.

To expand on Paul Fournel’s famous line: to look good is already to go fast, and to look crap is already to go slow.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @Oli

    My wife said something about a flappy paddle last night and we weren’t even riding our bikes…

    You should try not to think about Brett when you're in those situations.

  • @rfreese888

    @Puffy

    Yeah that would be the obvious way to know for which there is no substitute.

    My problem is I can tend to override what my body is saying and push it anyway – equating suffering with progress when backing off is the smart choice.

    To be my own coach as well as rider I need data.

    Data is good if that's the way you're wired. Over a lifetime of training I just read the signals my body is sending; if I'm doing enough work but the signals go backwards, I'm overtraining.

    Granted, given the state of my life, I'm rarely in danger of over training. More the opposite.

  • @frank

    @rfreese888

    @Puffy

    Yeah that would be the obvious way to know for which there is no substitute.

    My problem is I can tend to override what my body is saying and push it anyway – equating suffering with progress when backing off is the smart choice.

    To be my own coach as well as rider I need data.

    Data is good if that’s the way you’re wired. Over a lifetime of training I just read the signals my body is sending; if I’m doing enough work but the signals go backwards, I’m overtraining.

    Granted, given the state of my life, I’m rarely in danger of over training. More the opposite.

    I am in the early stage, high OCD chapter of my cycling career at the moment. I reckon the data junkie stuff will die down once I reach more of a steady state. Main thing is to learn and continuously improve, and to be able to do it over the next 40-50 years or until I keel over (which ever comes first).

  • @rfreese888

    @Puffy

    Yeah that would be the obvious way to know for which there is no substitute.

    My problem is I can tend to override what my body is saying and push it anyway – equating suffering with progress when backing off is the smart choice.

    To be my own coach as well as rider I need data.

    It is learned - to read the bodies signals and not to take them as a sign to push harder. If you like data, it can tell you the same in the moment. Heart rate might be too low and or slow to repond to efforts. You might not be able to hold a certain wattage for a duration you normally can. Just remind yourself that the gains from the training are found in the rest periods, not in the training. Training without rest gains you nothing. Rest periods are just as, if not more important than the training periods both on a daily basis (sleep), and weekly (RDO's), even annually. Pushing on when fatigued/tired is the path to destruction. If I am riding, and I am not up to it, I have no problem turning around and going home. #smarternotlonger

  • @frank

    @Ron@Gianni

    I got the Jawbreakers and can’t wear my Radars anymore because the field of vision is so superior with the new design. So I got the Radar EV too. The new Radars are the same basic design as the old Radars but with the fried of vision of the Jawbreakers while slightly less claustrophobic.

    Glad my sunglasses compulsion could be of some use.

    Yesterday my wife gave me for our anniversary a set of prizm Jawbreakers. I can wear them on my commute but I now just need winter to hurry up out of the way so my early rides don't require my radarlock XL photochromic lenses.  (if I hear another person call them "photochromatic"...)

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