Categories: Racing

2009 Broken Chain Award: Douche of the Year

There are many strong contenders for this sought-after prize. First up, David Rebellin; he was nailed as a doper. Rebellin is a rider like Johan Museeuw, with a long list of impressive wins who finally ruins it all when he slips up and gets caught, all past results are in doubt. Young Schleck should have also won La Fléche Wallonne this year.  Stephan Schumacher, where to begin, I’m not sure he should be considered for 2009 as he must have won last year’s award. Jesus he is the worst. In 2008, from out of nowhere beating David Millar in a TdF time trial, soloing off the front on mountain stages, caught twice and denies it. What a German tool. Jens Voigt should be asked to pistol whip him and put it on You Tube, or pay-per-view as I would pay quite a sum for that pleasure.

But the hands down winner this year has to be Danny-Boy Di Luca. Sure he is great one year and bad the next, what could that mean? Then in this year’s Giro, the Centenary Edition, always a beautiful race filled with crazy climbs and awful transfers, he is moronic enough to piss all over this race by doping his way through it. He rides away from everyone on the climbs, time trials better than most specialists, “oh the Pink Jersey gives a rider special power.” Really? Or he is all CERA’d up, denying clean riders stage victories. I have my doubts about Menchov but at least he beat Di Luca. Sure I bought into it, who would be so stupid to dope knowing you would be tested and they had already cracked the CERA code? Di Luca is evidently that stupid, and for that combination he will be mailed the rusty broken chain award.

A two year ban is not enough. We will have to watch that evil little bastard Riccardo Ricco this Spring. A rider who used to denigrate other professionals because they weren’t strong enough. If I was a professional who had to race against Ricco this Spring I’d be tempted to ride him into a nice stone wall during Milan-San Remo.

Again, pay-per-view, Jens, luger.

Gianni

Gianni has left the building.

View Comments

  • @Marko
    Soon enough Marko, once you get the flywheel effect going you will do it. And a few quality hours getting used to how sensitive the front end is to any wee perturbation.
    29" snow wheels/tires on mtb and bitch it out! That's what the Dutch would do.

  • when he slips up and gets caught, all past results are in doubt

    Past results were never in doubt. He just didn't test positive previously

  • Pere Fronk! Are you doing a broken chain award for 2011? What about the worst show of etiquette award (chaingate anyone from 2010?)

    I do not have any single moment or person in mind, yet, just curious as to your thoughts on the less-than-stellar moments of 2011.

  • @Buck Rogers

    I'd have to nominate the Grimplette for still banging on about chaingate in this months Cycle Sport Magazine. It may have been poor etiquette by Bertie but take the moral high ground and let it go rather than whining about it.

  • @Chris

    @Buck Rogers
    I'd have to nominate the Grimplette for still banging on about chaingate in this months Cycle Sport Magazine. It may have been poor etiquette by Bertie but take the moral high ground and let it go rather than whining about it.

    Ohhhh, good one. I have not received my new CycloSport Mag yet.

    That makes me think though not only that, but what about his whining about the descents during the Tour.

    Although, to give him some credit, he did have a truly "Epic" ride on his breakaway day.

  • @Buck Rogers

    Credit where credit is due, I've watched that stage over the Galibier a few times and it's magnificent but I can't help thinking that at some level he knew that he'd spent too much time looking fondly at his big brother and left the whole thing too late.

  • @Marko Lemme tell you about taking your hands off while on the roller: get too familiar, and then one day you'll leave a huge skip mark on the floor, and an even bigger one in your bibs

Share
Published by
Gianni

Recent Posts

Anatomy of a Photo: Sock & Shoe Game

I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…

6 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s World Championship Road Race 2017

Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Women’s World Championship Road Race 2017

The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2017

Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Clasica Ciclista San Sebastian 2017

This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…

7 years ago

Route Finding

I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…

7 years ago