Transcending the Rules: Group Ride with T-Bone

The question has been raised a number of times and the answer has always been vague: do the pros set The Rules, do they Obey them, or are they beyond them? As with everything philosophical, the answer is open to interpretation and difficult to identify. The Rules are about history, culture, etiquette, class, and style. That necessarily means that no active Pro has set The Rules, yet as an inextricably bound fiber of the fabric of our sport, they also significantly contribute to their definition and evolution.

Tyler Farrar hosted a group ride on Mercer Island in Seattle to promote USA Cycling, a program that helped him and many other American cyclist reach the highest levels of our sport. Donations were the only requirement to join the ride, and all proceeds went to towards helping to grow the program. What this means for idiots like me is, “Pay $50 and you get to ride with T-Bone.”

Saturday morning dawned with gray skies and wet roads. Sipping espresso while kitting up, I kept glancing out the window as I got ready.  Do I take Bike #1, or do I do the “group ride” thing and take the Rain Bike, fully adorned with mudguards and mudflaps?  Knowing this was Seattle and I'd be encountering many a Fendangelist, I was tempted to do The Right Thing, but the Loud Voice That Talks About Things I Like To Hear kept hollering, “YOU ARE RIDING WITH A PRO. TAKE BIKE #1, FUCKTARD.”

It called me a fucktard.  I had little choice but to listen.  Besides, as any Dutchman knows, the loudest voice always wins. Off I went on Bike #1, with tire pressure reduced to 100psi for improved Rule #9 compliance. One doesn't want to slip out in a corner and take out a Pro, does one?

I rode over to the gathering location, propped my bike up against the wall, and went in to register.  There, on a sofa in the corner, sat my boy, T-Bone, chatting up a storm with a kid who was no more than 11. Simultaneously normal and surprising, one of the most remarkable things about meeting people you'd only ever seen on TV or in pictures is how much they look like you expect them to.

I signed up and headed over to introduce myself.  Within minutes, we had concluded that he was not in fact the rider I had encountered the day before, but his fellow teammate who also lives in the area.  With our first Awkward Situation behind us, I felt ready to move onto the ride itself, complete with its associated non-zero chance of irreparably harming the career of one of my favorite riders by doing something “stupid”.

The ride was incredibly mellow, and Tyler was the perfect host, rotating through the group to make sure he spent some quality time chatting with everyone. We chatted about this and that. Before long, he asked, “What's Rule #1, Rule #5, and Rule #10?”, reading them from my bibs.  I explained, he chuckled, and the conversation carried on. As a segue from Rule #5, the topic of his second place finish with a broken wrist in the Tour came up; I mentioned something about that being “impressive”.  He mentioned something about “not wanting to quit” and “just not thinking about it”. I don't know, I didn't really understand what he was talking about.

Eventually the topic of Nordic skiing came up – it turns out he also raced the Nordic boards until he turned to cycling, and still skis today. I mentioned that as a Nordic skier, when I switched to road racing, my first thought was, “FUCK.  This is hard.” He laughed and said, “That's funny because when I switched to cycling, my first thought was, “This is way easier than skiing”.

I suppose that's why he's the one racing on a ProTour team, not me. But that's little more than a hypothesis – there could be other reasons, too. Like talent and hard work. But like I said, those are guesses.

Tyler kept rotating through the group, making sure to talk to everyone, but spent a lot of time riding with the same kid I'd seen him talking to earlier, when I first signed in.  The kid was on a tiny little road bike, unafraid of anything and anyone, bumping shoulders with the rest of us.  Every time I caught a whisper of his conversations with Farrar, it was to the theme of, “So, how old where you when you…”, and “So what do you think I should work on next?” He was eating up everything Tyler would tell him, and Tyler was taking great care to share everything he thought might help the little whipper. Class.

As for my central anxiety, throughout it all, no one openly berated me for riding without fenders. In fact, I was pleased to see many other riders were riding similarly naked bikes. We rolled back into the meeting place and everyone dismounted.  More pictures were taken with Farrar, more stories were exchanged. I couldn't resist the temptation to have my picture taken as well, and I asked a goateed young dude who rode in a Spinal Tap t-shirt and floppy spandex shorts to take a shot using my phone.  He happily agreed but as he did so took care to say, “Sure, take the picture now that you look way cooler covered in mud from the ride because you didn't use fenders like you're supposed to.”

So there it was, the inevitable.

Before I could rattle off my retort, filled with a comprehensive account of his Rule violations, our Professional Hero and Host responded simply, “Hey, I didn't have them either. Maybe I'll put 'em on when it starts raining more.”

The ride was filled with people who were willing to go out on a ride to support USA Cycling and spend time with one of the nicest guys in the Pro Peloton. Rule Violations were rife; but each and every one of these riders came out on a cold, wet, dreary day to ride bikes. On the other hand, Tyler Farrar did not violate a single Rule that I noticed.  Here is a Pro who is (was?) unaware of The Rules, but at the same time does not violate them. Because Tyler Farrar, whether consciously aware of it, lives La Vie Velominatus.

An amazing bike racer, an incredibly nice and approachable guy, and a Velominatus.  My kinda guy. I rode away a bigger fan of Tyler Farrar than I already was.

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/T-Bone/”/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • Jesus, Frank - the money shot comes along, and you can't keep your eyes open (or was that the grimace of pain from sucking it all in?). Great article though... I particularly liked the due care and attention that a) Tyler paid to the 11 year old kid, and b) you paid to the 'non-zero probability' opportunity to do a pro cyclist harm (again).

    Begs two questions, though: 1) Did Tyler approve of the rules, and will he be visiting your site? and 2) is he going to stop doing those awful TV commercials about his photo-sensitive eyewear?

  • More affirmation that Tyler and Team Argyle are a cool group of peeps. Sounds like fun. Looks like he was riding his rain bike and what's up with that stack height? Rule violation? Hard to tell from the pic. And although I do like the Argyle kit, G'phant is right, the V-kit takes the cake.

  • @Marcus @Frank

    I'll have to fold. I'm only holding a Burke Swindlehurst.


    Burke S. 4th from left, Cyclops 5th from left.

    I had pretty much the same kind of experience with my ride with a pro. Burke was super nice. Since I suggested a safer route with less traffic out of town Burke says "Lead the way" and then he spent a lot of time chatting with me at the front. He then trickled back through the group and talked with everyone. It's a funny thing riding with a pro - obviously you don't want to crash him so you are nervous but it seems to give your legs a burst of inspiration too. I did a personal best up the climb in the picture that day and even re-passed a skinny little Utah racer kid that I had been marking all the way up the hill.

  • Nice read! Jeez, Frank, Tyler isn't short but you make him look miniature. Good on ya for taking Bike #1 and not running fenders. It's way more important to look pro in front of a pro than keep your bike/you/those behind you clean. Good choice.

    Awesome photo with Simon Gerrans. Jeez, he's a little bloke! I'm even a bit taller than him, which means I need to start cheering for this wee dynamo!

    One note: since we have a lot of Rules around here, can I call on a grammar rule violation I see more and more these days? I hate the transitive use of grow. "Grow the program..." This seems to be something more and more corporate types utter. "We need to grow our business." They mean expand, while "grow" typically refers to raising or cultivating. "I'm going to grow a sweet mustache this winter to impress my Velominhottie." This drives me crazy! I read and hear this more and more and it bugs me. I think I'll have to make this my grammar rule V. Or, maybe the misspelling of grammer should be rule V?

    Anyway, this is a cycling site, not an English grammar site. Sorry for the aside and not a personal attack, Frank. Just something I thought I'd point out, as the article was about Rules compliance.

    Maybe AmeriDutchmen transcend the rules;)

  • Erm... Frank, them glasses in your helmet, they're not upside down. You're violating a rule while next to a pro who isn't. Oh dear.

  • @ Cyclops - that photo is awesome! The one on the right (your left) really fills out her top well.

    I have a very similar one with two Quantas flight attendants on the ground in Tasmania. It was the most female attention I'd gotten in months!

    @ Marko
    You're right! My mistake. Look at me, pointing out word choice mistakes and there I go fucking it up. I actually wish I could cultivate a mustache, but I have the facial hair of a teenage boy. Damn.

  • nice one frank, style and class.

    I agree on the bike choice, had you taken fenders, part of you would have been happy about it, another part of you would have been gnawing as you talked to T-bone.

  • Frank, very nice article! Very cool experience that you got to donate to a good cause and ride with a pro.

    Regarding a few things that you mentioned, and that I learned from the "chat" with Tyler that I went to here in Portland yesterday:

    1. I bet he was spending a lot of time with that kid because it reminded him of himself when he was young and he wanted to make sure he was properly encouraged. He said that he started riding very young, and before he had his drivers license his parents were driving him all over Oregon, Washington, and Idaho to compete in races every weekend. He mentioned he was winning Cat 1/2 races when he was a teenager.

    2. He said that the the Tour of Flanders is his favorite ride, but also the hardest for him and he almost quit after the two crashes he had in quick succession. It was really interesting to hear a pro talk about "quitting", because we've all had rides hard enough to makes us want to be done for the day, but at least for me I have a hard time imaging a pro having those feelings, since they train so much for what they do.

    3. He talked about the head-butting, and said he thought removing Mark Renshaw from the tour for it was an appropriate response, especially because it caused other riders to come off their lines and create a bad situation.

    4. He very briefly discussed doping. He said that Garmin-Transitions, and the new Germin-Cervelo team are drug-free, and that the Garmin team's 5th place overall in the world status shows that a team that is committed to being drug-free can still win. He said that while all the press around doping can cause negative images, he believes it is better to be out in the open about it than to sweep it under the rug like it's not an issue (NFL, baseball to some extent).

    Overall, he seems like a pretty nice, down to earth guy.

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