We met by chance, or so it seems. I suppose there really is no such thing as “chance”. I was ready for it, and it was there. I wasn’t really looking but, you see, it had been a while since I’d been happy. I’d even strayed about some, trying a bit of this and a bit of that, but nothing really filled the void I felt within. But Love is a real thing and it can belong to each of us; we just have to be willing to see and we need the courage to grasp it while we can.
My chain and I share a tumultuous relationship. Mostly, we get along just fine, but my demands are high and it is but a simple thing. There are times when it simply doesn’t behave as I’d like. Not only do I expect it to shift properly and propel my bike without impeding my forward progress more than I already do myself, but I expect it to be absolutely silent, only allowing it a triumphant chirp when coaxed onto an adjacent cog.
In my quest to observe the Principle of Silence, I tune my drivetrain and bike more often than is reasonable, often when it requires neither tuning nor cleaning. But I do it anyway, and it feels good. Few things delight me as much as hearing the hum of the back wheel as it spins on the stand, my left hand spinning the drive-side pedal while my right hand pushes the levers on the shifters while watching the chain skip flawlessly from one cog to the next. A daily ritual, I never – under any circumstances – throw my leg over a bike without first cleaning at least the chain. I find it is unbecoming of a Velominatus to ride a soiled machine; we are not barbarians, after all.
You need to know all this in order to understand what I will say next. I have experimented with synthetic lubes and with waxes, and none are the equal of an oil-based product. Sure, oil attracts more road grit, but for those of us who clean our chains every day, that hardly matters. More importantly, it’s lubricating qualities are far superior to the synthetics. As for providing a solid platform for the Principle of Silence, no product I’ve come across has managed to rival the noise-dampening qualities of Dumonde Tech BCL, made right here in Seattle, no less. All it requires is a single drop on each link and chain noise virtually disappears. If you are lucky enough to ride well-tuned Campagnolo mechs, you’ll find that the only sound you hear is the hiss of your wheels cutting through the breeze. And, in my case, that of belabored breathing.
When first we met, I was skeptical. I’d been hurt in the past and I needed assurances that it wouldn’t happen again. The bottle caught my eye as it stood coyly on its shelf. I picked it up and discretely read the label which said all the right things – a bit about low friction and a bit re-applying only when chain noise becomes audible. I took the first step, and it has rewarded me with silence.
And, dare I say, it smells strangely pleasant.
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@Cyclops
I use a Pedro's Chain Keeper so that I can clean and lube with the rear wheel off. And good call on the cassette/free hub body, Frank. I'll check it tonight. Doing a 2-day, 250k club ride this weekend, can't be creaking!
@cyclops: I'm surprised that no one has mentioned the sneaky little secret to making things easier in the chain cleaning department. The Connex Quick-Link. Taking the chain off to clean/lube it makes things WAY easier. It really makes cleaning the cogs and rings easier too.
Yeah, I used to do that. Putting the chain in the cutlery basket of the dishwasher and running it through a wash cycle was an awesome way of degreasing... the thing fucking GLEAMED when it came out, until.... err... the dishwasher broke and I had another 'that fucking bike' conversation with the wife. I still maintain it wasn't my fault the thing packed up and leaked all over the (wooden) kitchen floor. Bloody plumber sided with her - waste pipe clogged yada yada yada. Tsk.
@Steampunk @sgt @nate @frank and others:
Thanks for the suggestions. My nice road bike is only about six months old, and I only have approximately 2,400 km on it, so I haven't really had to do any wrenching on it because nothing has gone wrong (yet).
I should purchase a stand though, because it would make cleaning a whole lot easier. Or perhaps I'll do as others have done and just hang some ropes from the ceiling of my patio (I have no garage where I live currently).
I'll also start wiping and re-lubing the chain after every ride, because that would take mere moments.
@roadslave
How do you turn your dishwasher in to a snow blower?
Give her a shovel.
@Campy-nati--
Any tips on this sitch: My rear mech (Chourus 11) gets a bit noisy when in big ring and middle cogs. Small and large cogs run quiet. Cleaning, derailleur adjustment and removing, cleaning and reinstalling the cassette haven't fixed. I'm thinking the jockey wheel bearings need an overhaul. Any other thoughts?
Sounds like a little cable tension adjustment is needed or you could try the "B" screw
Good stuff, Frank. I also clean the chain, wash it well with water, dry and re-lube after every ride. Here in Northern Scotland, it's not uncommon to find rock salt/grit on some roads even at this time of year, left over from the winter, and if the chain is wet and you leave it uncleaned for just one day, the dreaded rust attacks. For a while I used Purple Extreme - perhaps the thinnest and lightest lube imaginable, then went over to White Lightening Dry. I'm not a fan of thicker, oily lubes, as they attract too much grit. I'd be interested to know what lubes the pro teams use.
I have another question: To lube or not to lube the jockey wheel bearings? I don't lube.
@Nate
I agree with Cyclops, check the B tension screw. Also the bearings in the casette may be a bit off, pulling on the small and big cog will keep the casette pulling on one end of the bearings, pulling in the middle could allow one of the bearing sets to 'float' a bit. You'd be surprised where noises come from vs. where we hear them from. When I turned wrenches at a LBS, we had a Litespeed come in that creaked from the bb and we went over it again and again added teflon tape etc. Only to figure out it was the headset.
Now I too am off to figure where my latest creak is coming from.
@Jarvis, @Steampunk
Do you fucking pussies also ride hemp chains?
Seriously, though, I also try to use all bio-degradeable cleaning stuff, but never considered the actual lube itself could be bad. That seems really dumb of me. So, to that end, I will saunter off to the LBS in flip-flops and flowers in my hair and try out the Dumonde Tech green option. Now look what you've done.
@roadslave
Mate, the fact that you put your fucking chain in the dishwasher along with your dishware makes me fucking laugh my ass off. And your attitude toward the "fucking bike conversation" has me in tears. Well done, mate. Well fucking done.
Our basement sink clogged a few weeks back. I blamed tree roots. As the plumber was cleaning it out, the overwhelming smell of not shit, but of CHAIN SOLVENT emanated into the room. Fuck, I was glad my lady wasn't home at the time.