Update: On Monday, July 18th, this product has been demoted from Reverence status due to imprecise machining of the 3mm and 4mm allen wrenches. Please see the updated Reverence article for it’s worthy successor.
My apologies to anyone who has purchased this product based on this article. I am truly sorry.
Yours in Cycling,
Frank
—
In our pursuit of La Vie Velominatus, we embark on a sacred quest – the pursuit of Rule Holism. The path is strewn with apparent contradiction; these contradictions are in fact but tests laid out for us – oportunities to discover The Way and strengthen our resolve. Little by little, we find our way along the path.
Those of us who amputate our saddlebags in compliance with Rule #29, are immediately faced with the unavoidable realization that our tools are unwieldy, heavy, and bulky. Indeed, our reliance on the European Posterior Man Satchel has disconnected us from their contents and has bred complacency when it comes to tool selection. So long as the tool fits in the satchel, it goes in the satchel. Spoke wrenches, multi-tool with superfluous attachments, chain tools, zip ties, scissors, even the odd Crescent wrench has been known to find its way into the tool kit. For a Velominatus’ machine, which is kept in perfect working order at all times, these tools serve little function other than to make you climb less well for your weight.
Removing the dependence on a saddlebag demands that we become more discerning in the tools we carry with us. The tools that are to reside in our pockets must be as carefully selected for their function as our machines and our kit itself. Simple. Reliable. Lightweight. These tools will be called into action rarely, but when called upon, it will be at a time of greatest need. They must not fail.
Over the years, the tools that accompany me on my rides have reduced in number and weight, and we have developed a bond during the many hours we have spent together – me perched on my saddle, them tucked neatly in my pockets. I started with two Park tools, one with huge range of hex keys, and a second with a fewer (redundant) number of keys, but including the vital Phillips and flat-head screwdrivers. Eventually, I started leaving the multitool without the screwdrivers in the toolbox, and taking my chances with too few hex tools. The risk felt too great, so I switched to other tools with varying degrees of success, but each failed in one aspect or another – corrosion, weight, poor construction – and was added to ever-increasing pile of discarded tools.
The problem was further complicated when I switched to the Campy 10sp Skeleton Brakes with Torx T25 bolts. I cursed a blue-streak when, as I was mounting my new brakes with great anticipation, I realized I was to be stopped dead in my tracks as I didn’t have the proper Torx tool. I suppose, as Saul pointed out, I should be glad it was a standard Torx size and not some proprietary size that requires a $100 tool, but that knowledge did little to temper my rage. I purchased a set and returned home knowing full well that now my quest for the perfect minitool included a T25 to make emergency brake adjustments. More tools were chucked to the Island of Misfit Tools.
Almost without noticing, with the appearance of the Pro Minitool 11 in my stocking on Christmas morning my quest came to an end. The nickel-plated steel tools don’t rust, the alloy body is solid, the tool is thin and light enough not to cause any sag or discomfort in the jersey. Beautifully made, the tool folds smoothly and the 8mm hex snaps off to reveal a 6mm hex below it. Unlike most tools that attempt this feat, this one pulls it off with the addition of a ball lock. All the tools are cut precisely and cleanly cut, making it a pleasure to work with. Amazing.
It feels so good in the hand, it’s tempting not to carry it around and fiddle with it all day. But I don’t. Not anymore. Starting tomorrow.
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View Comments
Nice! I guess this drive to find the highest functioning tool is just part of being a Velominati. I too have gone through a variety of tools, from mini tools to tire levers, to home tools.
Hmm, article has me intrigued about this Shimano multi-tool. I'm currently using a Crank Brothers 17 and have been happy with it. Of course, never used it much since my machines are in fine order. I guess I have a few more tools, but also 72 more grams...
And count me in the group for being foiled by Torx heads. Went to move a Campag shifter up once, expecting a hex head like Shimano. Nope. Sheeit.
The more I ride bikes, the more I come to respect well designed products, from tools to shifters to clothing. Actually read an article recently in the New Yorker on a German designer, Maier. He's obsessed with making things slick, functional, and cool looking. I think I like his style!
edit: should have written Velominatus in my second sentence.
She is a beauty.
Personally, I have ditched my minitool and now only carry a 4,5, and 6 mm hex along w/patch kit, tire levers, and mini-pump. Sometimes a spare tube makes the cut (though rarely).
As we all know, there is a fine line between genius and insanity.
Don't dismiss the chain tool. On my first ride with my multi-everything crank bros tool, one of the guys made a chain link explode, 4 miles from the nearest train station. Without the chain tool, he was fucked. With it we happily went for another 30 miles.
All of this "bulky pockets as a result of Rule 29 compliance" business can be resolved by giving the old lady a a very important job "we in the biz" like to call SAG. Or to be completely honest, what ends up being me getting on the mobile tele and telling my wife to get in the car and bring me a spare tube and the pump because I was being a weight weenie and telling myself "I don't need the C02's and tubes" becuase "I won't get a punture on this ride."
I'm going to have to disagree on this one - and in doing so will probably totally screw myself. In all my years of riding I've NEVER needed a tool on the roadside and have never been left stranded anywhere. Tools coming along for the ride totally destroys the aesthete of and completely runs contrary to "The Rules". It's bad enough that I carry an extra tube and a CO2 set up (which I don't on more occasions than I do). The cycling gods seem willing to turn a blind eye to that matter but I think having a contraption in your back pocket that allows you to perform an emergency addadicktome* is tempting their ire in that you have no faith in their providential watchcare. How can you reconcile the purity and beauty of being one with your machine as you turn to le metier and the hours spent cleaning, adjusting, lubricating, and the quick little detours into the back room just so you can look at your bike for few seconds with stuffing your back pocket with a monstrosity that is the antithesis of beauty and proves out your weakness in your ability to master your craft?
*The procedure that you need if you are prone to carrying tools with you on a ride.
@Cyclops
Though I disagree with your ending question, I do believe you're on to something. To the contrary, I think that facilitating roadside repairs which are effective and elegant is the apex of mastery and perhaps second only to wheelbuilding.
That said, what I think you're onto is the lack of overall care which translates into more frequent on-ride mechanicals. Le Metier begins on the stand at home and culminates in a mishap free ride. However, shit happens. I like you, seem to be fortunate in I rarely have to deal with much more than a puncture because I take care of my stuff. But I know others who are as fastidious about the care of their bikes and suffer more problems than most. I don't know why this is but some are luckier than others.
It is disgraceful to call home for a pick up or a SAG, as MrBigCog puts it, for something as benign as a tube. Cycling is all about individual effort and self-reliance at the end of the day. That needs to extend to self-reliance in wrenching while on the road. When I go out for a long ride I'm fairly certain I'll be able to repair a flat, fix a broken chain, tighten a bottle cage, true a wheel enough to ride, tighten a stem, etc. I almost never do but not being able to do so is akin to not bringing food or water on a century ride.
@Cyclops
I don't ride with a tool set either, knock on wood. I do take tire levers, co2, patches, and a tube.
I've never had anything go wrong either, except once one of my bottle cages worked itself loose and started to rattle quite a bit. I hand-tightened the screws the best I could and set them properly when I returned home, no big deal.
However, I wouldn't be opposed to carrying such a small tool set such as the one pictured above, I've just never bothered to purchase one. I run Shimano, so I could probably get away with a few hex keys.
At any rate, since I've recently severed my own European Posterior Man Satchel (it was quite painless actually!), I have been looking to pick up a small Lezyne pouch or smart wallet, though I can't seem to find them in town. The ziplock bag I'm currently using isn't exactly pro, and the contents tend to shift during the ride.
That is like my automobile. I take good care of it, but it has been hit no less than three times in four years while parked on the street by careless drivers. Sometimes bad things happen that are out of your control.
+1. I believe MrBigCog may have been writing tongue-in-cheek, but I would be embarrassed to call home for anything less than an injury that prevented me from finishing the ride. My time on the bike is MY TIME and escape from everything else, I don't want to have to call home and wait for a problem so minor as a tube puncture. This isn't preschool, you need to learn to wipe your own arse and not have your mom do it for you, so to speak.
I carry a Crank Bros. 5... A few hex keys and a phillips for derailleur limit screws. If a wheel goes out of true, open the freaking brake up. If a chain breaks, shame on you. Funny, I find myself wrenching team mates' bikes on the roadside a lot more than my own...
@mcsqueak
I highly recommend this for a quick, cheap satchel. It's six bucks, fits a tube, 2 CO2's, inflator, lever, patch kit, ID, plus a little extra room. And you get some bandaids (plasters for you Brits/Antipodeans) into the bargain!