Categories: Technology

Fixie Challenge: Matching Aptitude to Confidence

I think it goes without saying that riding a fixie properly takes quite a bit of skill and finesse; the pedals being directly connected to the rear axle demands a fluid pedaling technique when riding at speed, not to mention the skill required to stop (quickly) without brakes.  The issue I have with the fixie community is not so much the bike as it is with the silliness of riding a single speed in a city overrun with long, steep hills.  For the most part, it means people are choosing this vehicle for its form rather than its function; the result is a preponderance of people who lack the skill to handle such a machine.

Not long ago, we were sitting in traffic in downtown Seattle.  Sitting in traffic is what we do in downtown Seattle, and people commonly ride their bike instead since commuting by bike during rush hour is much more sensible than doing so by car.  As we poked along, I noticed a guy weaving through traffic.  The rider was adorned in typical fixie garb: messenger bag, tight jeans, enormous belt buckle. As he approached, the erratic nature to his motion belied his misplaced confidence in his skills.  He seemed to be enjoying the responsiveness of his bike and was whipping around cars as he picked his path along.  But there was a problem: he was over-steering and his efforts to stop his bike were overstated; he lacked the subtlety of a skilled rider but rode with an aplomb that goes hand-in-glove with someone whose aptitude doesn’t quite match their attitude.

I held my breath as he passed our car.  He veered to the right and then quickly to the left before falling over onto the trunk of a beautiful, black Mercedes just in front and to the right of us.  Owing to the nature of his fixed gear, his bike continued moving forward and his body lay limply and ineffective over the car as his belt buckle scraped a clean, uninterrupted gouge along the length of the car’s gleaming, black body.  He moved his arms down to try to push against the car, searching in vain for purchase to slow his movement.  He tried to pull his feet from his pedals but was unable to, thanks to his feet being secured by a set of cool, double-strap toe clips.  Finally, he alighted upon the rear-view mirror which detached from the car’s body with a sickening crunch before he came to his feet just in front of the car, grimly facing the driver whose dismembered mirror he held like a football.

Traffic started moving again at this point so we didn’t get the opportunity to see how the interaction between the driver and Fixie played out, but the manner in which he stood fidgeting with the wires that dangled from the dismembered mirror, face agog at what had just transpired didn’t bode well for his negotiating position.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @frank
    Yes, it's true, my trusty fixed-gear commuter has not one -- but two! -- brakes. In the city, when you need to stop, it's probably because you REALLY need to stop. I must have a lot to live for. Likewise, if people dig pure bikes enough they are willing to get crushed in traffic, so let 'em, I say.

    @all
    Anyone else notice that Frank posts a lot about fixies considering he does not own or ride one? Kind of like the bi-curious guy who really wants to know what it's like, but doesn't want to get his dick all dirty, ay?

  • @jim
    Spankles very nearly convinced me to buy a $500 chrome 61cm Bianchi Pista last weekend. I resisted. I suddenly understand it's probably because I'm Fixiphobic.

  • Funny story, but you got it backwards. Fixed in hills just makes your legs strong. Track bikes on the street are for idiots.

  • Hey Frank,
    I liked your story, it fits my effort in class to teach attitude matching one's aptitude.May I borrow this story for my class. I would need to remix/shorten it.

  • @Anisha
    All yours! We would be honored! If you don't mind, it would be fun to see the final version when you're done revising!

  • Dear Frank,
    I am adapting the story for a 10th Standard class, whose 2nd language is English...Would greatly appreciate if you could pitch in to make it funny.

    The hot afternoons in India not only left one perspiring and dehyrated but also stuck in large traffic jams with non co-operating cows on the road. Frank sat behind the wheel waiting for the traffic to inch forward. The line was long, the movement slow. He thought it impossible for a fixie bike to be rode in such conditions.The pedals are directly connected to the rear axle demanding a fluid pedaling technique when riding at speed, not to mention the skill required to stop (quickly) without brakes.

    For the most part,Frank felt these people were choosing the vehicle for its form rather than its function; the result being a majority of people who lacked the skill to handle such a machine.
    This particular rider was adorned in typical biker garb: messenger bag, tight jeans, enormous belt buckle. As he approached, the erratic nature to his motion belied his misplaced confidence in his skills. He seemed to be enjoying the responsiveness of his bike and was whipping around cars as he picked his path along. But there was a problem: he was over-steering and his efforts to stop his bike were overstated; he lacked the subtlety of a skilled rider but rode with an aplomb that goes hand-in-glove with someone whose aptitude doesn't quite match their attitude.

    I held my breath as he passed our car.He veered to the right and then quickly to the left before falling over onto the trunk of a beautiful, black Mercedes just in front and to the right of us. Owing to the nature of his fixed gear, his bike continued moving forward and his body lay limply and ineffective over the car as his belt buckle scraped a clean, uninterrupted gouge along the length of the car's gleaming, black body. He moved his arms down to try to push against the car, searching in vain for purchase to slow his movement. He tried to pull his feet from his pedals but was unable to, thanks to his feet being secured by a set of cool, double-strap toe clips.Finally, he alighted upon the rear-view mirror which detached from the car's body with a sickening crunch before he came to his feet just in front of the car, grimly facing the driver whose dismembered mirror he held like a football.

  • @Anisha
    You did a great job, I hope your students enjoy it! (I've spent my fair share of time in India and can not imagine riding a fixie in that traffic!! Cheers!)

  • @Anisha

    If you are telling the story, then the last paragragh needs to be changed from 'I' back to 'Frank'.

    So "I held my breath" would be "Frank held his breath". Then make it clear that the rider is not Frank. i.e "Frank held his breath as the reckless rider passed his car."

    And maybe a concluding sentence at the end to wrap it up a bit better.

  • Wow, just dug this up. What a hilarious story! This pretty much sums up how I feel about a LARGE majority of people on fixed gears in our U.S. conurbations - you need to learn how to ride that thing before you go tearing through traffic without brakes. And, you should still have a brake.

    The dude in the photo is spot on - ugly tattoos, cool bag, crappy Peugeot, no bar tape, probably no plugs.

    I really, really want a trained sociologist to write something serious on the fixed gear craze, as it is amazing to me that people will grab a nice bike, rip the gears off, tear the brakes off, then go riding it around. Stunning.

    I can't believe he scratched the hood AND broke off the mirror.

    A few weeks back was finishing up a 35 mile ride, cruising it in. Noticed someone drafting me really closely...while I coasted down a hill. Huh? Didn't feel much like talking, so dropped him. A few blocks later, as I'm coasting again he pulls up alongside me. "What's the rush?" He asks...as he then works really hard to accelerate past me. I was speechless. Then I noticed he was brakeless, on a carbon track bike. Goodness, some people are sure idiots.

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