Training Properly clearly isn’t everyone’s bag, baby. Heart rate, power, cadence; it’s all bollocks if you are being told to hold back, or are put into a place where you don’t want/aren’t supposed to be. If it hurts, and you’re flying, it’s working. If it hurts, and you’re crawling, it’s not working. No amount of handlebar-mounted gadgetry can convince us of what we already know; no matter how hard we may think we are going, we are probably going nowhere near hard enough. So, armed with years of field testing and a plethora of poor performance to draw upon, the team at V-Lab have developed the ultimate training tool for the discerning proponent of Rule #74.
Enter the V-Meter.
No confusing read-out. No buttons to push. No debate as to what you need to do. Just look down, ruminate briefly on the message conveyed to your oxygen-starved brain and lactate-laden legs, and V the fuck outa there. What’s the gradient of the climb? V. How fast are you going? V. What’s your heart rate doing? Your V-max? You will instantly and unequivocally know the answer.
Accordingly, the V-Meter is intended as a single-use device; after your first ride using the V-Meter, all the important and relevant numbers will be ingrained on your psyche, and the V-Meter should be removed from your bike and placed in the nearest refuse receptacle. Not only will you be freed from the burden of irrelevant numerology, so too will your steed be clean, sleek and 74 compliant.
*V-Meter not an actual product. Results may be fictional. Rule 5 sold seperately. If pain persists, good. Send V dollars to V-Lab for full program.
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Genius!
Sorry, not buying it, no way Cateye makes the V-Meter.
@michael
Correct! The V-Meter is not made by Cateye, but will retrofit to any major brand's product (including Sigma, Polar, and an XL model for Garmin.) You know you want it.
Loving this post with a capital 'V' ... Just about to fire the link for this post to all the 'Southampton Road Club' members for reference and reverance to the 'V'. When the going gets tough the powermeter aint gonna help ya one bit...... For your info a freind of mine once had a similar device to the 'V' Meter. It was a 'Snot' Meter; when the Snot hanging from his nose touched the handlebar and trailed behind in his 30mph wake he knew he was trying hard enough.
i ride with a digimometer: it displays random 3 digit numbers
My last (and only since I was a kid) had not cyclometer, no technology, nothing. I was actually in shape and happy. Hell, I did a 150 mile charity ride on a fixed just because I thought it would be fun. Now I'm fat, slow, and counting calories. Something just isn't right here.
Awesome post.
Duly noted. V-dollars in the mail. I'm off to apply Rules 5, 6, and 10.
Brilliant. I knew the V-Lab would be a good return on investment when we set it up over there amongst Kiwis. What started with nightly sessions of signing "Strangers in the Night" to flocks of sheep has resulted in development of this most magnificent piece of technology. Right on.
And how awesome is that picture? The V-Cog perched there atop that 3T stem, the Bozzie's green and blue headtube leading toward that steel fork crown. Perfection.
@Gus, if you're trying to understand the spirit of the Velominati, I suggest you review this article.
V forever :)
@frank
Brilliant how you got the blawg to recognize the difference between The V and The V-Meter.