then it will motivate you to ride more and do something about it.

This has a certain persuasive force.  I’m riding a lot and making progress, but further motivation is never a bad thing. Plus my Novitata thinks it’d be hot.

@minion incorrect. Sculling is a sport for individualists. Sweep rowers will do whatever their cox tells them to do. Coxless crews just do it by feel.

You must be enjoying this country’s collective sporting griefheight now?

Interesting. One of the news Corp rags tried pulling the “Australiasia” trick again, combining the two medal counts of NZ and Aus. Channel Nine is looking pretty sad cos people are losing interest at the midway point of their 120 million white elephant, which no advertisers wanted to use so they’re plugging their own shows while broadcasting immensely expensive coverage. And we’ve been higher up the medal table that Aus (in terms of Golds) for a few days now (won’t last).

All of which distracts us from the white elephant in the room, that the games are being run for the Great Glory and everlasting fame of Mother China.

At least you’re not English because if you were you’d be fucking unbearable right now.

@PeakInTwoYears

Rule #1 Obey The Rules.

Seriously, if you think being shaved and fat is worse than unshaved (and still fat) then it will motivate you to ride more and do something about it.

Plus there’s less chance of being mistaken by a horny bear.

agreed!

@PeakInTwoYears
I’m also heavier than I should be, but began to shave anyway, it’s motivating to lose the extra kilos, but it’s also about creating ritual and a lifestyle and building to total cycling enlightenment. In my opinion it’s better to follow as many rules as possible and keep adding more and more as you go vs one day you feel worthy and try to follow them all.  Obeying the rules to the best of your ability helps you build good habits. I’m a fellow traveler, still learning, so I understand, but I say -go for it! VLVV

Rule #1 Obey The Rules.

Seriously, if you think being shaved and fat is worse than unshaved (and still fat) then it will motivate you to ride more and do something about it.

Plus there’s less chance of being mistaken by a horny bear.

Put simply: I am at least 5kg (more like 7 or 8) heavier than I have any business being under any circumstances while on a Bike. I have historically felt that while unshaved is ugly, shaved and fat is just hopeless.  But I am willing to be educated to the contrary, if the community wills.  Shave now, or shave later?

And does it even matter that I live in a great forest with fourteen bears and a herd of elk for every actual cyclist?

You must be enjoying this country’s collective sporting griefheight now?

And toffs.

A lot of rugby players do.

Yup. Must be related to massage frequency and masses of sports tape. (Well played Chiefs…damn…)

@Engine

Rowers? OK. But facial hair accepted.

Man! Those people know how to live in the hose of pain.

A lot of rugby players do.

So that’s most of NZ into waxing then? My opinion of the great nation of Kiwi has subtly changed – very much for the better.

So…In the absence of any road racing on TV, and in the midst of the Olympics I ask this:

Which other sports need a version of Rule #33?

The VMH and I are watching the men’s gymnastics and it looks like there’s some who shave (legs, chest, armpits) and some who don’t.

I think all sprinters should shave (100, 200, 400m) but middle and long distance are free to be hairy.

Also all beach volleyballers, long jumpers (sand), swimmers, divers, trihards and archers should shave.

There.

Since Phil passed away the entire cast of the Archers has disobeyed the rules fragrantly and regularly – particularly Rule #5 so I no longer listen to their tales of middle class angst.

Rower’s should definitely conform to Rule #33 – the Brits who came second to Denmark in the Men’s Lightweight Sculls (Skulls would be more interesting doncha think?) were bested precisely because their guns were not smooth. If you can see fur at 200m+ through a lens and the small TV in our kitchen then I’d suggest there’s a problem. I’ll write to the Team GB rowing coach to inform them after breakfast.

Which other sports need a version of Rule #33?

The VMH and I are watching the men’s gymnastics and it looks like there’s some who shave (legs, chest, armpits) and some who don’t.

I think all sprinters should shave (100, 200, 400m) but middle and long distance are free to be hairy.

Also all beach volleyballers, long jumpers (sand), swimmers, divers, trihards and archers should shave.

There.

Surely if an article about rule bending can get approval, an article about rule compliance should certainly see the light of day.

I look forward to reading it. I’ve been cycling for a bit over a year now so I feel it’s about time to take the plunge. One more step towards rule holism.

When I got back on the bike, I rode a couple of times with pasty white, skinny, shaggy legs. I said, “Fuck this shit. That is too fugly to look at and go fast.” (I wasn’t a Velominatus, so I could not, by definition, lay down the V.) Once I shaved, I think I was faster by at least 3km/h just because I looked right.

If the legs are not kept pristine through the winter months, all hair must be removed before MSR.

The BFGs are so big””and I’m an hairy man””that I need to get shaving again on gun #1 by the time I’ve finished gun #2. That and the cost of razors make this a futile exercise. But the BFGs are now smoove.

The shot inside of the T-Mobile bus is probably one of my all-time favorite cycling images. I’m glad that the Velominati brought it to my attention with that article last year.

Where’s the blood bag in the 2nd? Just curious.

@Jeff in PetroMetro
How can you not get behind this?

Merckx, look at my prolific use of the umlaut!

Ron:
@ Steampunk – Ha, yes, spiders do climb well. Really well for their weight.

Really? If I weighed 25 grams and had eight legs? Wow! I’d be hooking up with Pinarello’s custom octo-crankset and lapping Alpe d’uez before breakfast.

minion:
I’m never going to look at you the same.

Good, it was getting a little creepy…

sgt:
This entire thread is a gross Violation of Rule #2.
And all of you who advocate Rule breaking are in violation of Rule #3.
Both of which violate Rule #1
And to think a Keeper would instigate this; I’m appalled. Boy Oh Boy is Frank going to be pissed when he gets back. He’ll probably shit an umlaut.
I’m outta here!

Holy shit, I’m outta here too! I’ll meet you in Cuba, Sarge…

mcsqueak :
@sgt
The keepers seem to instigate a lot of rule violating when Frank isn’t here to oversee things. It’s like kids when they first get left alone during summer break, they somehow discover their father’s Velo collection, cigarettes, all that.

fixed

I’m never going to look at you the same.

You forgot to mention that Steven Jobs actually comes over and types the European letters for you.

The keepers seem to instigate a lot of rule violating when Frank isn’t here to oversee things. It’s like kids when they first get left alone during summer break, they somehow discover their father’s Playboy collection, cigarettes, all that.

@Jeff in PetroMetro
On a Mac, it’s “u.” I had to write a piece on Swedish scientists not so long ago. I got pretty good with my ö, Ã¥, etc.

As long as rule adhereance puts us above the snooty Road Clubs who THINK they are velominati then i say A-Merckx to them all. I however reserve the right to adapt rules as circumstance/cognitive ability/gradient allow.

Now off to commune with Butterflies, but look PRO doing it.

Gracias!

And all of you who advocate Rule breaking are in violation of Rule #3.

Both of which violate Rule #1

And to think a Keeper would instigate this; I’m appalled. Boy Oh Boy is Frank going to be pissed when he gets back. He’ll probably shit an umlaut.

I’m outta here!

Wow, black order! Nice job.

If you’re using a Windows system, if you open the Character Map it’ll give you keystroke info for all manner of character sets. You can also copy and paste them.

If you’re on a Mac, well… I don’t know. Sorry.

“Rules are for the guidance of the wise and blind adherence of fools.”

I use the rules when people ask me questions, like “why don’t you do a triathalon”

“Oh that would be against the rules you know”

And every time I get on my bike I break the rules in some way, I ride with mtb shoes on a racer, I listen to music when I ride by my self, I try, but my tan lines are not razor sharp. I am sure that we all break the rules, but it is having rules that can be broken that makes the rules fun.

May Merckx have mercy on your souls.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to make myself a root beer float and a bacon burger with extra cheese and maybe some chili.

Great article Brett!

@ many – I think that is the key – Rule V all the time, other Rules as best we can. Maybe that is why I/we ride daily, to chase the impossible dream of attaining complete compliance with all The Rules.

We get out of bed each day and swing our leg over the top tube to work on full compliance. That is what keeps us going. Oh, and cycling makes us pretty damn happy.

I envy you right now.

@Il buccaneero

I like your train of thought. Only through following all the rules will one reach true enlightenment, Buddha style. I guess once you reach that point you’ll know what nirvana is like.

It would provide extra insulation where it’s needed most. And finding the right razor angle to traverse that complex surface requires more trigonometry than I’m comfortable with. Hot wax sounds painful.

Follow the biggies, enforce them even when not in compliance, and firmly plant tongue in cheek, except when consuming post ride ‘beverage’…

*Unruly* Hippy wanker junk,wouldn’t even know what a rule *is* ;)

Rock on Brothers

Yes, this line of thinking has a direct correlation with Buddhist thought. But that is certainly no accident. Because The Rules are in fact the path to Cycling Enlightment.

Rule #0: Never take things to seriously.

Would be pretty damn funny to see a half cyclist, half spider some day when out on a ride.

I like this a lot. Some of The Rules are clearly very, very important. Others, well, I think there is some room for personal maneuvering. Let Thor do as he pleases is right.

Despite possible Rules violations, I think it is pretty easy to discern a Follower out on the road, even in that instant when you come around a bend in the road, spot someone turning the cranks going the other way but are able to say in your mind as you continue on, “Yep, there goes one…” Just as much as one must outwardly manifest Casual Deliberateness, one must also radiate a beam of inner harmony when on the machine.