This note arrived to the Velominati Bunker back in April. It was a confession. It was a cautionary one. Everyone knows someone who has done this. I nearly did it myself*. I replied to Alex, not sympathetically enough yet his message has stayed with me. Is this worthy of a New Rule?
Yours in Cycling, Gianni
Dear illustrious members ,
I wondered if the members had a Rule for irregular removal of bikes from roof, off vehicle? I feel the need to explain a little incident that occurred after picking up my two Specialized bikes from storage after having moved house.
Both bikes were sitting comfortably on the Thule roof rack and we were making good headway back to my new residence in Bourne end. I had both my boys in the car and was a little distracted with a conversation with my eldest. Mentioned in the conversation was the issue of lunch. So it made sense to pull into Waitrose to get a bite to eat. Err need I go on? We entered into Waitrose at a good speed.
There was a horrendous noise that I cannot describe and still haunts me, followed by the sound of breaking glass as both bikes and roof rack hit the ground after briefly entering the boot through the rear window.
Some of you will remember an incident, many years ago, to a chap called Marcellus. I remember thinking I would never be stupid enough to drive my car through a barrier with a bike on top of my roof. Well I have exceeded this by wrecking my bike and my girlfriend’s bike. oops
Training is on hold for the moment.
Proposed Rule #96 -Twatting your bike.
Driver and also owner of bikes on roof of car, removes bikes from roof of car by driving through a barrier. Owner of bike shall be referred to as a twat until bike has been replaced, or repaired. Exceptions are if wife or girlfriend is driving car in which case a possible conspiracy theory may have to be investigated. This confirms the need for Rule #12: the number of bikes owned should be N +1. You can at least be sure of a spare available.
Waitrose are suing me for damaging their barrier
Bastards
*Two identical Alan CX bikes on the roof of my car as I delivered a racer to the airport after he won the cyclocross nationals many years ago. Luckily the handlebars lightly hit a warning sign as I ripped into the departure drop off. Had that gone badly, I would have had to find another sport.
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Not a good Rule as it is always forgotten, again and again. It's an awful Mistake.
Proposed Rule #96 should be that it is forbidden to place your bike on a roof rack. I recently had to send my kids back home from holiday by train as it was not possible to transport both their luggage and my bike in the boot. The bike naturally won as is total common sense. A rack should only be used when the N+1 rule dictates such that there is no more room in the car other than for bikes and the driver.
As far as I'm concerned, a roof rack is nothing more than a EPMS for your car. Your beloved machine should be transported the way the euro pros, from pro tour to hardened Belgian kermesse racers, do it: stuffed in a padded bag and placed in the trunk of your car. Roof racks should only be deployed on official team cars, in races, with team sponsorship graphics, manned by professional mechanics and/or other team minions. The bike is the tool of the trade, and should not be subjected to unnecessary catastrophic risk, atmospheric elements,excessive buggage, or combination of the three. Remember: nothing good can happen when your bike is placed on a roof rack. And don't get me started on the ones that hang off the back of a car.......
Stealing and paraphrasing, there's two kinds of folks that use roof racks: 1) Them that have driven into a barrier with the bikes on the rack, and 2) Them that WILL drive into a barrier with the bikes on the rack. I believe this is an iron rule, and knowing my own mind well enough I know this would happen to me. Hitch mount, it's the much safer way for me!
@Grant Goodman Yes, since bikes are considered children they should not be placed on the roof. Although I do it all the time.
@bkclyde
Now I understand... because you can't see your bike, you don't know where it is at that moment. All you need to do is keep one thought -- "the bike... the bike... the bike..." That's three thoughts.
Wouldn't Rule #65 cover this sort of thing adequately? Perhaps with addendum, mainly to enshrine the term 'twatting'.
Mini vans are so uncool aren't they ? But are they really? When we replaced the missus' ride after 10 years and 135k miles I kept it. With rear seat removed I can easily toss a couple muddy mtn bikes and gear in the back. For a recent 24 hour event my buddy and I chucked our bikes in back and our gear plus with a luggage carrier on the roof rack we had everything we could want. Mini vans and bikes are actually perfect together. I'm a big fan. Plus, my grey mini van is virtually invisible to anyone sitting on side of road that might be interested in knowing my speed on the highway. Road bike ? Easy enough to remove the wheels and seat post and chuck it in trunk of my sedan, if I don't wanna drive the minivan.
fignons barber called a rack simply an EPMS for car...that cracks me up. 10-4 to that. cheers
Fook, I live in fear of doing this and so hide my garage door opener in my car to keep myself from just that. I've gone so far as to measure the height of my roof rack mounted bike on the off chance of going under a barrier.
My buddy has a different system: he attaches a sign to his garage that reads "Stop dumbass, your bike's up there." His may be superior to mine.
Good Rule.
While I've not had the pleasure of ripping my bikes off the roof of the car, I have many friends who have. Sucks for them, mild comedy for me. (isn't comedy just laughing at other peoples tragedy?)
I did however have my entire roof rack stolen, with a DuraAce equipped, Zipp 440 wheeled Litespeed Ultimate U-locked to the Yakima. Probably should have remembered to lock the rack..........