Categories: The Rules

Study of a Madman: Riding in the Rain

Riding high up on a deep depression.

I awoke Sunday morning to the sound of the driving rain on the windows, buffeted by gusts of wind. I got up, made myself a double espresso, and called to the dogs for their walk. Smackimus, the mutt who embodies Rule #5 in everything he does, came bounding down the stairs. Beene, the lummoxy Great Dane, followed quite a distance behind, yawning and smacking her lips. I opened the front door and the three of us headed outside.  I made my way down the stairs and zipped up my jacket as both dogs followed. Smackimus slowed noticeably as we left the shelter of the front porch and stepped into the rain, and Beene stopped altogether.

After using all my skills of persuasion, I managed to get both the dogs to do their business, but it was a minimum-commitment operation; both dogs did what they needed to do and bolted back up the steps to the shelter of the front porch.

A great day for a ride, obviously.

We are a sick lot, those of us who find more pleasure in riding in bad weather than in good.  I have decided, however, to remove my fenders from the Rain Bike, as they do tend to detract from the considerable pleasure of feeling the spray from the road coat your body in Rule #9; the fenders definitely diminish the indulgence in the rain, and, generally, the volume of Suck that the weather is dispensing on your person. Fenders or not, the ride still merited camera-phone self-portraits, Dan O-style.

Oh, and – Merckx help us all – I think Rule #9 might actually be a Garbage Song.

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/Only Happy When it Rains/”/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • My only regret is that I didn't take a little more time writing that and that I didn't think of some clever phrase like "Riding in the rain isn't an event, it's a lifestyle." ;)

  • @michael Would you like some cheese with that manifesto? It's only a bit of rain and sounds like you are looking for some sort of award.

    I am proud to admit that i am fender user (i do wish weren't such a pain to take off/put on and i never leave them on if it is dry) I have noticed though that there is a certain type of person that i have started to associate with fenders...The fender evangelists. These are the guys you never want to end up next to on a club ride. Conversation usually consists of a rant about the bad habits of other riders - half wheeling, not pointing at pot holes and forgotten fenders are favourite topics of the fender evangelist. These thing are very annoying habits, it's true, but are they as annoying as listening the the rants of the Fangelist?(see what i did there?.. i know genius) I think not, i would rather listen to a creaky bottom bracket.

    What i suggest is a new rule that states that fenders are not to be spoken of ever, ever again. Perhaps a sub-claus to the Principle of Silence?

  • @Rhodri, @michael
    As the rain has truly set in the PNW, I have to admit that, while I stand my statement that mudguards take a little je ne sais quoi from the complete indulgence of Rule 9, as the rain gets colder, heavier, and more constant, I do realize why I installed those full-length mudguards with mudflaps on the Rainbike the winter before last.

    Fact: Mudguards take away the pleasure of riding in the rain and feeling the spray from the road as you ride.

    Fact: Being soaked to the skin day after day after day by cold water being splashed on you from all directions gets a bit old.

    For me, from May to September, the mudguards are coming off. From Oct to April, they start to make some sense. I'm still opting for some lighter-weight clippable fenders, though, after she gets restored to her former glory.

    @Rhodri
    Spot on. A Fangelist is at least as annoying as a YJA. For those riders who are better than the rest of the riders in their group, they are welcome to ride alone. If you choose to ride in the group, shut the fuck up and ride.

  • re: Fangelist / YJA - When I first moved to Portland, literally maybe the second day I slept here, I stumbled upon a "Portland Wheelman" ride and knowing better but not knowing where to ride at all I followed. I was totally confused why they waited and helped the woman on the ride with her flat and then asked the guy "You know where you are going?" as they hammered away from him.

    @frank
    I'm starting to believe that your rain bike might not be the the Perfect Amount of Shabby. I'm of the opinion that the rain bike must be of insufficient quality as to leave fenders on full time, but of sufficient quality to not mind riding any day of the summer. This I believe has more to do with our attitudes about the bike than the actual frame and componentry of the bike. If you don't own this bike, you must now create it to bring your bike count to the correct number of n+1.

  • Over here in the North of England if its Racing Season i.e-from 2 weeks before the Eddie Soens Handicap to the end of the Racing Season i.e. a couple of weeks after the last race of the year generally mid September it is generally agreed that winter bikes are the norm. No one thinks any less of anyone else cause we all do it. Winter bikes mean Mudguards. Its part of the rules to observe the traditions of our religion. Here we have the "English Summer" which is usually rainy. Then we have the "English Winter" which is usually rainy too.
    All the Argument over mudguards is a waste of time. They even make it harder when its windy so extra rule V. Smashing !!!

  • In alteration to my last post during the period from the end of Feb to mid March Racing Bikes ate the rule not winter bikes appologies for my typo its very late here

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