On Rule #41: Garbage Collectors

[rule number=41/]

Look, people. We’re not making this up; we’re mainlining this shit straight from the rivers of Truth flowing down the slopes of Mount Velomis. They draw from the history and culture of the sport, and from good common sense. They make sense, in fact, even if the Keepers don’t necessarily know why at the time of conjuring. Nevertheless, they apply to the weekend warrior as much as they do to a Tour de France Champion.

Television commentators waxed poetic about the garbage bag caught on Froome’s back wheel being symbolic of how this race has thrown everything at him and still he persevered. Well, I’m here to tell you that his litter collection was little more than civic service and had nothing to do with bad luck: it was penance paid for a blatant violation of Rule #41. Full stop.

Obey the Rules and this sort of shit won’t happen.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • @RM2Ride

    True. Except that particular hipster just hoisted a silly blue cup at the end of a 23-day vacance en France. It might be hard to argue with that, somewhat.

    Dunno, never tried those rings myself. Wonder if they’ll catch on now.

    Fair enough, but they didn't catch on after Wiggo and Froome won the Tour before. I rode Q-rings for a bit myself and found them fantastic some days and awful others. 1000 reasons that could be the case but chainring shape seems to be at most the "marginal" in "marginal" gains. You push on the pedals to make your bike go, not the other way around.

    All that said, I love Froome's win this year much more than 2013; he really showed fight in the end and you have to respect that. This was not an Armstrong or Indurain style win. This was a good race.

    Not classic or epic. But good. But better than many. And I walk away from it liking Froome the most I've ever liked him. Whatever that means.

    Fuck, and I like Sagan now, too. And Cav. What's happened to me?

    I was really gunning for Degenkolb there in the end.

  • Just checked my own setup and I'm good.  Exactly per the rules.  Whew - breathed a sigh of relief.  Offending the velominati would be a bad thing.

  • @frank

    @RM2Ride

    True. Except that particular hipster just hoisted a silly blue cup at the end of a 23-day vacance en France. It might be hard to argue with that, somewhat.

    Dunno, never tried those rings myself. Wonder if they’ll catch on now.

    Fair enough, but they didn’t catch on after Wiggo and Froome won the Tour before. I rode Q-rings for a bit myself and found them fantastic some days and awful others. 1000 reasons that could be the case but chainring shape seems to be at most the “marginal” in “marginal” gains. You push on the pedals to make your bike go, not the other way around.

    All that said, I love Froome’s win this year much more than 2013; he really showed fight in the end and you have to respect that. This was not an Armstrong or Indurain style win. This was a good race.

    Not classic or epic. But good. But better than many. And I walk away from it liking Froome the most I’ve ever liked him. Whatever that means.

    Fuck, and I like Sagan now, too. And Cav. What’s happened to me?

    I was really gunning for Degenkolb there in the end.

    I don't think he used them on every stage - I could imagine they are pretty awkward when standing going up hill.

    Can't say I *like* Froome as a person - I'm pretty sure a night out with Cav  could be pretty wild, but Froomy would be sipping a diet coke in the corner tutting. As a cyclist, he rides ugly but he definitely understands rule 5.

  • @frank

    @Peddler931

    I note that the screen cap is from RAI.  Is there a rule regarding preference for using an Italian feed when streaming cycling events?

    For the Giro, yes. For the Tour there is so much coverage it isn’t even really a French event anymore, apart from occurring largely in France and being organized – and owned – by Frenchmen. All those things aside, its pretty much a Globally-owned enterprise, so you can watch it on whatever network you want.

    and largely won by non Frenchmen much to the chagrin of Frenchmen.  Schadenfreude.

  • @Teocalli

    @frank

    @Peddler931

    I note that the screen cap is from RAI.  Is there a rule regarding preference for using an Italian feed when streaming cycling events?

    For the Giro, yes. For the Tour there is so much coverage it isn’t even really a French event anymore, apart from occurring largely in France and being organized – and owned – by Frenchmen. All those things aside, its pretty much a Globally-owned enterprise, so you can watch it on whatever network you want.

    and largely won by non Frenchmen much to the chagrin of Frenchmen.  Schadenfreude.

    Poor Frenchies. Awwww.

  • @frank

    Odd-shaped chainrings don't affect chain tension, only location. It seems counter-intuitive but you can set up a singlespeed with an oval ring and have perfect chain tension, and I have.

  • Don't they charge the consumer extra for plastic bags in France? Seems like you'd want to hold onto that treasure more closely...

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