On Rule #59: Hold Your Line

Anecdotal research suggests that people are being let off-leash without adequate training to perform basic activities such as walking on sidewalks or through airports and busy city centers. I’m assuming this expands to shopping malls, but I never go there so I can’t be sure. It’s easy to blame the mobile phones which apparently grow from our hands, but even when no phone appears to be involved, the same problem exists: people wander about without any apparent awareness that anyone else might be in the vicinity.

Take, for instance, the gentleman who wandered off the Plane Train at SEATAC airport the other day. As he detrained, he stopped to investigate which of the 4 identical escalators best satisfied his fancy. I’m not one to criticize someone’s escalator scrutiny – you can’t over think these sorts of things – my issue is with the choice to stop just outside the exit of the train, completely unaware that he was blocking the way for the other passengers still left on the train.

It isn’t that these are bad people. We’re a product of our society and society teaches us that being a self-absorbed asshole is the right way to go about your life; there’s no limit to what you can accomplish when you don’t give a flying fuck about how those accomplishments impact other people. Which brings me back to my original point: we’re not getting the right training in order to avoid being assholes.

Riding a bike in general and riding in a group in particular teaches you all sorts of things about external dependencies and the trickle effect that our actions have on those around us. Rule #59 extends beyond just riding in a straight line, but to riding predictably and informing those riders who are dependent on you of dangers and obstacles. Cyclists develop a situational awareness that becomes second nature with practice.

I therefore propose that we modify our free-ranging policy to include a provision that mandates all humans be required to take a bicycle racing class and spend significant time riding in a group at speed before being allowed into the wilds of society. Don’t change your line when walking on a sidewalk without peeking over your shoulder. Don’t stop dead in your tracks without checking if someone is behind you. Don’t take a right-hand turn without warning when driving in the far left lane. Don’t block doorways. Don’t knock people in the head when you’re walking with a 2×4.

And for the love of Merckx, take off your headphones.

 

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • Genius Frank but not only will the hater be moaning about having the rules imposed apon them but they'll start to bang on about how your megalomania has moved onto society as a whole. Keep it up, I had been thinking that I was the only one having these thoughts and that it was a symptom of early onset old fartdom.

    Was the gent at the airport also trying to trip people up with one of these wheelie suitcases? Major annoyance in crowds. But not as bad as single mother of five trying to get their evil offspring and two monster suitcases across London on the tube at rush hour.

    I'm not sure that compulsory group ride training is the way to go for the general public. It would be cheaper and more efficient to issue cyclists with tazers for their time off the bike.

  • @Chris

     But not as bad as single mother of five trying to get their evil offspring and two monster suitcases across London on the tube at rush hour.

    Surely that wouldn't be a problem because you and other people of a gentlemanly persuasion, such as the capital and especially the City is full of, would have offered to assist.

    Presumably it was in conversation as you helped with her suitcases that you established she was single.

    Otherwise I might have to press the Danger of Casual Sexism Alert button which has now been installed on the site.

  • People who stop and talk on stairs...

    There should also be fast and slow lanes on pavements/sidewalks; not that anyone would follow them.

    On a shared use trail near me recently painted bike 'lanes' have appeared. They're quite narrow, both ways squeezed to one side with the other 75% width of trail for pedestrians. I was a bit suspect at first, seeing it as an implication that we were a problem, so I treated them more as advisory. But every single cyclist of any type automatically gravitates toward these lines, like we like the sense of order they bring - and perhaps in the vain hope that we can get going without having to weave between people.

    Pedestrians, naturally, ignore them and let their kids wander into them.

  • @ChrisO Go on press the button. There are a bunch of tell tale indicators that women travelling with five kids and very large suitcases are single but to outline them here would end up in someone pressing the Oh My God He Couldn't Possibly Have Said That button.

  • walking obliviously while staring at the glowing rectangle in your hand.  We've all seen / done it.

    Re MUP trails, sometimes it's easier to just join the other vehicles on the road than dodge the strollers etc on the path.  Love the two non-petite moms pushing the strollers abreast and taking up at least 87 percent of the path.  Scoot by them in the remaining 13 percent before uncoming traffic and get glared at presumably for passing too close.

  • Yesterday on my afternoon ride I'm going down a minor road that is plenty wide enough for cars to pass in both directions and has a number of blind rollers.  The road is busy enough to need to keep alert especially with the blind rollers.  So yesterday not long before the afternoon "busy hour" much to my surprise I come over one roller an there is a chap running slap bang in the middle of the road.  One of those WTF did he think he was doing moments.

  • A shared cycle way, the mom on the phone pushing a pram, the dog on the leash, for once, but of the extending kind, fully extended, the toddler on a cycle stopped across the middle of the way then moving backwards because of the fixed gear. The mom yelling at the cyclist (me) because he was frightening the kiddy! Typical scene!

  • We need to continue to differentiate between cyclists and bike riders.  After spending pretty much all of my winter training by myself, last weekend I decided it was time to get social and back to group riding and hooked up with a local group after my first couple of hours on the road. Holy cow, if their idea of group riding is how to cause each other maximum stress by cutting across lines on straight roads, intersections and roundabouts, not pointing out obstacles or making any effort to keep the group together, they can keep it.

Share
Published by
frank

Recent Posts

Anatomy of a Photo: Sock & Shoe Game

I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…

6 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s World Championship Road Race 2017

Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Women’s World Championship Road Race 2017

The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2017

Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Clasica Ciclista San Sebastian 2017

This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…

7 years ago

Route Finding

I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…

7 years ago