The boys discussing #43.
I wonder if Rule #43 should be sublimated on our bibs too. It might be my most favorite Rule. Don’t be a jackass. But if you absolutely must be a jackass, be a funny jackass. Always remember, we’re all brothers and sisters on the road.
As a Keeper on the Velominati site, it irritates me that the Velominati are known mostly for The Rules. While we didn’t invent them nor were we the first to list them, our proselytizing has made us synonymous with The Rules. I would hate for us to be known as the exclusive Cyclists rather than the funny Cyclists.
Frank started this site to write about and discuss the beauty of cycling; The Rules were never part of the plan. If someone wants to start something Rules-wise with me, they better hand me the list because I don’t know them. I might possibly have been a more religious person if it all weren’t so deadly serious. And yes, my inability to take things seriously has been brought up too often, usually at annual performance reviews. But I grew up with the daily option of nuclear annihilation hanging over my head. Us kids all started to talk like French philosophers, at eight years old, smoking cigarettes and asking, mon dieu, what iz ze point of life, eh? Our local cub scout pack just fell apart after a few months… really, earning patches to sew on our uniforms? It made no sense to us young nihilists. Zere is no patch for digging an impromptu bomb shelter? Ahh, fuck it, let’s go out into the woods and smoke more cigarettes.
While I occasionally worry about The Rules smothering all other things Velominati, that worry is always quickly buried by the funny back and forth on the site. While some cycling sites are heavily moderated or troll filled, Velominati seems to thrive on the uncensored winding up. We realize arguing about riding one’s bike could make us all seem like jackasses, but at least we are funny jackasses. Long live Rule #43.
And to prove my point, if I had one… this.
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The bite in one's behavior should be in direct proportion with the amount of time you spend together. Long time teammates and competitors? Talk the trash. Lapping a novice rider at a charity event? Be polite, encouraging, and set a quiet example.
One group comes to mind that I don't ride with due to violations of Rule #43 and the above corollary, even though not directed at me. Worst was an insult shouted at a farmer passing by on a tractor.
@RobSandy
Not so much shit as preposterous, I think. Wonder where the urge to do that comes from. Is it copying musicians who tend to do that with their instruments (trumpet players mainly, piano players less so)?
Fine piece of musing there, Gianni. Personally, as I get older, I find myself striving (and occasionally succeeding) to take things LESS seriously. If, as you say, your inability to take things seriously is brought up a bit too often, you're doing it right. Feel free to inform your antagonists that a tall, opinionated, Dutch cyclist said so... (They may get it wrong after all, and think you're referring to Frank)
@Ulf
A sense of humor is not an ingredient in that lot of folks. Thankfully, I haven't met many but...it's amazing how little they've known about bikes and riding them despite owning a very $$ one.
Gianni - I'd ventured that anyone who is the slightest bit inclined to read, consider, and comprehend the Rules was already following their own (or their small group's) set of them, whether codified or simply existing in the mind.
Growing up, the way my friends and I stayed entertained and lively was to come up with rules about all sorts of largely meaningless shite. Some of it had meaning, other stuff was just plain BS. But, it provided us with a method to have fun, to hold one another accountable, and, most importantly, to issue demerits. That then led us to a hierarchy of painful enforcement for accumulated demerits.
And, of course, the beauty of the Rules is finding a community of folks who give a shit, whether about bikes or style or aesthetics or language. Or leading a healthy life. Or treating their bodies right. Or sleeping & eating right. Or freeing their minds daily so they can succeed at work. Or just cycling to be happy. Sure, we shouldn't take life too seriously, especially if we are living on Easy Street. But, for me, why bother getting out of bed if you don't deeply care about things? Part of the cancer of too many idiots having hand-held computers is that no one gives a shit anymore, in my experience. All sorts of behavior that would have recently provoked serious reactions is now overlooked. Yawn, I have another text to read/reply.
Anyway, I like the Rules and I have a whole set of rules I follow on my own, because I have standards and give a shit. From using phones at inappropriate times to wearing your pajamas to the grocery store, most Americans need MORE rules. People now spend so much of their lives in a virtual world that nobody will stand up and say something when someone is out of line in daily life. It's weird. Overly vocal online, but total timidity in daily life. (and I won't go there...but I seriously think the threat of goddamn concealed weapons has made people very reluctant to say Excuse me, will you please not do that?)
I'm never a jerk to folks riding bikes. But, I like the Rules and espouse them by living them. VLVV.
@Slowtrane
I'm going to give Sparty a pass on this one. It's his last season, a race he loves, it was pure emotion. He hasn't done it in the past and hopefully not again.
@Dave
Wow! Yelling insults at a farmer? Seriously? If I ever rode with anyone that did that, it would be the last time. That's 100% unacceptable unless the farmewr was trying to run you off the road with some big ass piece of equipment. I take the friendly, cheery wave approach and often I'm the one responding to the initial wave from a motorist, person in their yard, farmer, etc.
@Ron
My educashun taught me the two key rules.
1. If you break the rules, don't get caught.
2. If you get caught, take your punishment without complaining.
"I first became aware of it Mandrake during the physical act of love..."
Tremendous.
...whew. I was afraid to open Velominati after writing that post for fear of the dreaded 'no comments' after being posted for a day. Bless you all. Father Gianni