Rule #5: Racing Hoogerland-Style

Photo: The Atlantic

Johnny Hoogerland, on receiving the Tour de France Rule #5 Award:

I normally don’t drink that much beer anymore but having my first off-season beer in this glass makes it taste great. I moved to my new home and will find it a great place because it honors my way of racing.

Fitting words from the man on track to take over the mantle of Hardest Man In Cycling from Jens Voigt after he retires. I’m shocked, however, at the claim that he doesn’t drink much beer. Partly because beer rules, and partly because I’m flummoxed by what kind of post-ride recovery drink he has if not beer.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

RedRanger says:

Dec 2 2011 at 8:48 pm

I'm confused based on the fact that he is Belgian. Thanks for sharing his reply.
frank says:

Dec 2 2011 at 8:56 pm

@RedRanger

I'm confused based on the fact that he is Belgian. Thanks for sharing his reply.

Careful. He's Dutch. Massively huge difference.
RedRanger says:

Dec 2 2011 at 8:59 pm

Yup. Realized that to late. Gonna hang my head in shame.
mcsqueak says:

Dec 2 2011 at 9:22 pm

...because I'm flummoxed by what kind of Post-Ride Recovery Drink he has if not beer.

Does pouring a nice, tall, cold glass of organic chocolate milk count? Or does it instantly curdle and cause the class to cleave in two?
frank says:

Dec 2 2011 at 9:25 pm

@mcsqueak
Yes. And thats the good news. You try to see what happens when you pour a non-alcoholic beer in there. If you dare.
frank says:

Dec 2 2011 at 9:36 pm

@RedRanger

Yup. Realized that to late. Gonna hang my head in shame.

Well, to your point, if he were Belgian, it would be even crazier.
Nate says:

Dec 2 2011 at 11:01 pm

@RedRanger

I'm confused based on the fact that he is Belgian. Thanks for sharing his reply.

I thought @frank would have something to say about this.
mblume says:

Dec 2 2011 at 11:23 pm

While I have never been slammed into barbed wire by a car at 55 kmh, my recollection of continuing to race after a nasty crash is that after you restart you have overflowing adrenalin for the next 60-90 minutes. But then the reality of the injuries start to set in and it the pain levels start to climb and one must really apply Rule V to the vth power. in reality the next day of a stage race following a crash is the most difficult.
MrLowell says:

Dec 2 2011 at 11:49 pm

This goes without saying, but I cannot look at pictures or videos from that stage without thinking, "Jesus H, that guy is fucking incredible." No exclamation points, no excitement, just a simple, breathless statement of fact dripping with awe.
MrLowell says:

Dec 3 2011 at 12:00 am

@mblume

That's what makes it crazy! Bandaged, stitched, and without anesthetic he actually attacked in the stages that followed.