A fenderless creature emerges from the bog of the Forest of Arenberg.
Mudguards (fenders) and saddlebags are two subjects that are sure to get our collective ire up as Cyclists. When I wrote in one of my columns for Cyclist that saddlebags should never be used, my editor told me that he received a record number of emails threatening to cancel their subscription on the basis that my column was a “black eye” on an otherwise sterling publication. I don’t disagree with the premise; but the fact that it was this statement that brought it about brings to light how much people love their saddlebags. The Pros use them in training, so how dare I claim that we should not.
The fact is, we’re not trying to look like Pros; we are trying to Look Fantastic at All Times and just because the Pros do it doesn’t mean it looks good. In fact, the Pros often look as rubbish as the typical cyclotourist; they just go faster than us. But Fournel’s Theorem is not commutative; just because you’re fast doesn’t mean you look good.
And so, saddlebags are banned on the premise that they are ugly, no further discussion required. Mudguards, on the other hand, are banned for the fact that are ugly, noisy, and are an implied contravention of Rule #9. The Nine is about submitting to the deluge, about embracing the misery of training in the cold and wet; it is about dedication and discipline above the creature comforts found at home. Post-ride, the bicycle is carefully and lovingly cleaned and made ready for the next ride. Rider and machine bonded together through mutual commitment.
Mudguards protect the frame and bottom bracket from road grit, it is true enough. But I don’t care. They also deflect the grime cast up by the tires as they carve their solemn trough over the wet tarmac. Still don’t care. On group rides, Fendangelists preach to anyone who appears to the ride without mudguards about how rude they are, forcing the others to chew on their rooster tail while riding in the bunch. To this I suggest that if you’d like to avoid a rinsing with Belgian Toothpaste there is usually an open spot for you on the front of the bunch..
Half the satisfaction of a hard Rule #9 ride is your appearance upon your return home, further mystifying The Cyclists to the rest of the world. I lovingly admire my mud-spattered bicycle and take in my flemish tanlines as I remove my kit. To ride with noisy mudguards would not only be a violation of the Principle of Silence, but more importantly I would be depriving myself of this greatest of pleasures.
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@Teocalli
on a mtn bike too
@wilburrox
I think you just committed sacrilege to the hallowed cobbles of Flanders. Self flagellation with a mini pump in order.
@Teocalli
Nope, take yourself off to one of those steep cobbled streets in Yorkshire for numerous hill reps. On 19mm tyres. Pumped up to 120psi.
@chris
Well I could have suggested a horse might be even better still !
@wilburrox
You can always get off and walk if it's a bit bumpy to ride.
This thread makes LeMan happy.
So, after lurking for a year. I have to spill my guts now. IMHO looking good is not the primary aim of riding a bike. It's to ride a bike! As much as possible, as often as possible and as far as possible. The rules should support that goal. And mudguards and saddlebags support that primary goals. So if needed, I ride with a saddlebag and I can go further and ride more.
freddy - Duncan just had a post-ride puff too, huh?
RobSandy - while my modern saddles are all level, for some reason the older (or at least older design) saddles I ride feel best with a slight upwards tilt. I have a Turbo on my commuter, slightly up. And I have a new Regal on my Casati that seems to disappear below me when it's just a bit upwards. Okay...I'm really opening myself up for some jokes here.
The one concession I'll make to terrible conditions - my 9 bike has black tape. Yup, some white tape will never fully recover from extremely awful conditions. Plus, less guilt during the ride that I'm trashing the tape.
And, of course, there are good looking and shite looking PROs in all sports. Dudes with bad tattoos and awful haircuts now roam the soccer pitch, the hockey rink, and the basketball courts at the highest levels.
I'm not rushing out to get a neck tattoo and an asymmetric haircut because some rich asshole is doing it.
@Patrick
You have been lurking for a year...reading all of these wonderful articles about how looking fantastic is of up-most importance, and your in disagreement? I'm intrigued as to why you still read. No one here is saying not to ride as far and as hard as possible, if only more folks did. However, correct me if i'm wrong, but isn't the Velominati about something more, something almost unattainable...looking fantastic while suffering and hoping for a rare encounter with La Volupte, all while adhering to a set of driving principles that honors our chosen discipline and its rich history. Viva La Vie Velominatus! (still jazzed from my soaking wet commute (without fenders) and perhaps one too many cups of coffee)