Categories: EtiquetteKitLa Vie VelominatusLook ProTradition

Lock, Sock, and Two Smoking Barrels

Classic witte socks

It used to be that you could choose any color shoes you wanted, so long as they were black and any color socks, so long as they were white. Easy times, those. Then Gianni gave me his White Ladies and all of a sudden my life was complicated.

First of all, the shoes were so beautifully white in their gleaming patent leather that only the whitest of white socks looked white enough. Wear them twice and into the “rain sock” pile they went. The real “rain socks” were even worse, because they were actually dingy and I simply couldn’t deal with the contrast. So then I started wearing black socks in bad weather. Fortunately, white shoes with black socks looks much better than you’d think, although it looks worse than white on white or black on white.

So then I was changing sock color depending on the weather.

The great thing about a pair of White Ladies with white socks is it turns the foot/ankle into a single visual unit, almost like a perpetual pair of overshoes, and everyone knows overshoes always look rad. Very good for motivation when the V-Bank is running a little low on funds.

Then I got my custom orange Bonts, and things really became a mess. Somehow, the extra orange means I have to match my socks to my jersey, otherwise it all looks out of balance; white socks with the Witte jersey, and black socks with the Zwarte jersey. Which is practical because I always wear black in the rain.

But what about that perpetual overshoe look for which I’ve declared my undying love? Orange socks and orange shoes, is it too much? Apparently the answer to that question depends on my mood and how tan my guns are, because I really dug it yesterday but some days I can’t take it because it might be a tad too fluoro. Except I’m kind of liking fluoro again.

So now I’m matching my socks to my jersey unless I match them to my shoes. To make matters worse, my socks are a bit long, I’m afraid. But with my tan line in full swing, I’m committed to the length for the remainder of the season at least. At which point I’ll probably like the sock length.

Somebody call a doctor.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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piwakawaka says:

Jul 10 2015 at 3:27 pm

@Haldy

Ahh..the varied choices of sock length…at this time of year..I pull the old school trackie card and go with the ultra low socks…

the answer is here @Haldy, NO no no no.
Dean C says:

Jul 10 2015 at 6:34 pm

It's been emotional.

Sorry, combine Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels and Cycling together and I just about misplace my mind.

Socks; Black, maybe a off colored pair if they fit the rest of the kit. Cant match my shoes or I would be stuck in a endless circle of socks/shoes- shoes/socks inside my head argument.

Backlash, heal up quick.

Take care the rest of you
tessar says:

Jul 10 2015 at 11:28 pm

I believe these were made especially for you, Frank: Defeet Aireators to match black and orange Bonts.
tessar says:

Jul 10 2015 at 11:37 pm

I love my Mavics. I love white shoes with just enough bits of black and yellow to make any white sock work, but without clashing every other colour.

I love socks, and I love them long. 6-inch or death!
VeloJello says:

Jul 11 2015 at 1:05 am

I rock this combo pretty much every day. Match the bike, the glasses, the socks, the shoes..
VeloJello says:

Jul 11 2015 at 1:06 am
VeloJello says:

Jul 11 2015 at 1:08 am
M Ramos says:

Jul 11 2015 at 1:18 am

As taught in art school.... Black, white and grey are not colors... They are shades.

Hahahah!
wilburrox says:

Jul 11 2015 at 3:19 am

@M Ramos

As taught in art school…. Black, white and grey are not colors… They are shades.

Hahahah!

yea, yea, yea... and Pluto's not a planet. Whatev... I think maybe I'll snap a photo of my new white shoes today. Speshy has a new shoe called Audax and they're white as white can be except for dark grey around the sock collar. Five years from now I might regret the shoes are not patent leather as they couldn't possibly age as well but instead are some kind of synthetic mat'l. Of course, they didn't cost Italian patent leather prices. And they're still pretty darn comfortable. It took me a long time to find white that I liked and these are ALL white: exactly what I wanted. And yep, only work for now with NEW white socks as they are that white. And they go great with BLACK shorts.
wilburrox says:

Jul 11 2015 at 3:23 am

@tessar

We have a local CX race associated with Halloween. It's good fun. Nothing too serious and costumes add to to scene. Could maybe get away with wearing those socks then! Cheers