Lock, Sock, and Two Smoking Barrels

It used to be that you could choose any color shoes you wanted, so long as they were black and any color socks, so long as they were white. Easy times, those. Then Gianni gave me his White Ladies and all of a sudden my life was complicated.

First of all, the shoes were so beautifully white in their gleaming patent leather that only the whitest of white socks looked white enough. Wear them twice and into the “rain sock” pile they went. The real “rain socks” were even worse, because they were actually dingy and I simply couldn’t deal with the contrast. So then I started wearing black socks in bad weather. Fortunately, white shoes with black socks looks much better than you’d think, although it looks worse than white on white or black on white.

So then I was changing sock color depending on the weather.

The great thing about a pair of White Ladies with white socks is it turns the foot/ankle into a single visual unit, almost like a perpetual pair of overshoes, and everyone knows overshoes always look rad. Very good for motivation when the V-Bank is running a little low on funds.

Then I got my custom orange Bonts, and things really became a mess. Somehow, the extra orange means I have to match my socks to my jersey, otherwise it all looks out of balance; white socks with the Witte jersey, and black socks with the Zwarte jersey. Which is practical because I always wear black in the rain.

But what about that perpetual overshoe look for which I’ve declared my undying love? Orange socks and orange shoes, is it too much? Apparently the answer to that question depends on my mood and how tan my guns are, because I really dug it yesterday but some days I can’t take it because it might be a tad too fluoro. Except I’m kind of liking fluoro again.

So now I’m matching my socks to my jersey unless I match them to my shoes. To make matters worse, my socks are a bit long, I’m afraid. But with my tan line in full swing, I’m committed to the length for the remainder of the season at least. At which point I’ll probably like the sock length.

Somebody call a doctor.


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106 Replies to “Lock, Sock, and Two Smoking Barrels”

  1. @frank

    This is admittedly unusual for me. Sneakers, sure, shorts almost never. But since riding to work regularly happens socks like this are a normal part of my mornings and afternoons. After all, socks can be any damn color I want.

  2. @frank

    When my train company starts heating the trains on a regular basis, boots and woolly socks it is for the winter.

    I’ll mention your disapproval to Mrs Chris.

  3. @frank

    Having just seen a picture of you failing to understand the relationship between collars and ties, I’m not going to pay too much attention to your advice on off the bike sartorial matters.

  4. @frank

    That saddle to bar drop is impressive.

    Having just bought a pair of pure white shoes this season, I quite like the black on white look. White on black makes me feel like I’m making the horrible mistake of wearing white socks with dress shoes.

  5. Thought this was a reasonably appropriate article to resurrect, given that it’s partly about orange shoes. I have a nagging desire to stray from my usual choice of white shoes and give orange a try. Sidi do some road shoes in that colour, but another company that also makes them is Gaerne, a brand about which I know next to nothing. Anybody got any experience with their shoes and care to offer an opinion re quality?

  6. Searched and searched to finally find Darn Tough making their made in USA Breakaway Micro Crew Ultra-Light ultimate road/gravel sock. Perfetto!

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