Categories: Tradition

The Man With The Hammer

The Man with the Hammer strikes Merckx as Thevenet passes him to take the Maillot Juane

Cycling is a unique sport in the sense that suffering is a badge of honor.  Greg LeMond once said, “It never gets easier, you just go faster.”  Cyclists love to suffer – it’s a badge of honor.  Bernard Hinault claimed that as long as he breathed, he attacked.

At a primordial level, cycling is about the locus of control.  Cyclists love to suffer because they choose to suffer.  Because it challenges your mind.  As Jens Voigt – my all-time favorite cyclist – says, “When you go hard, your body says, ‘STOP!’ and your mind says, ‘BODY, SHUT UP!’ And, sometimes it works!  And then you GO!”

Cycling is about the glory of suffering, which is something few other sports can say.  The men and women that race the Tours de France (yes, there’s a women’s race and no, they don’t play it on Versus, and yes, it’s every bit as exciting as the men’s race) suffer for 21 days, 6 hours a day, over the most challenging terrain and awful weather you can imagine – and they race hard.  Through this suffering, one develops a third-person relationship with your legs.  You become detached from them, I suspect because they cause you so much pain that you don’t want to associate with them.  Cyclists don’t refer to their legs and “their legs”.  Cyclists refer to “the legs” as though they are a separate entity from themselves.  Something to tame but not to control.  We can control our mind, but we can not control our legs.  “We’ll have to see how the legs are today.”

Cycling folklore speaks of “The Man With the Hammer”.  He is a man who lurks around any corner and will unexpectedly bop you on the neck with his hammer.  He will cause you to go from smoothly spinning your pedals to pedaling squares and putting your bike in “reverse”.  The Man With the Hammer strikes when your mind takes more from legs than your body can provide.

Most endurance sports refer to this as “bonking”, but a bonk is something you can control by eating and measuring your effort.  But in cycling – because we don’t control our legs – we percieve this to be out of our control.  Cyclists can avoid him temporarily, but all cyclist are hit by him at one point or another in their careers.  Eddy Merckx on the climb to Pra-Loup when he lost the Yellow Jersey to Bernard Thevenet.  Bernard Hinault when he lost the Yellow Jersy to Greg Lemond at Serre Chevalier.  Lance Armstrong when he nearly lost the 2000 Tour on the Col de la Joux-Plane.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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  • I really like this article - I refer to my legs as "machines", glad to know I'm not the only one to be so detached from them; my friends think I'm nuts.
    I love that feeling where on a good day I feel I could just ride and ride forever, even after 5hrs, I think, 'if only I had some more food on me I could go just a bit further' but I know that if I did try to go further without that food, I'd bonk and it'd be a longer recovery. I'm always amazed how at that point nothing hurts, and I think wow, I love riding my bike!!
    Sadly don't get out for many long rides as its winter, and as much as I've been riding and coming home soaked through and cold (I know, harden the f*ck up, right), but I'm pretty excited for warm sunny days of longer rides and no more frozen toes!

  • Yeah, mate. Funny how that feeling comes across. And it nev hits until you've been out for hours...finally your body says, "Right, you're obviously nit listening to me anyway, so I'm just going to shut and wait for you to wrap up. Catch you later."

    We call that sensation, La Volupte.

  • I've gotta say I'm absolutely loving trawling through the archives one by one and coming across gems like this post...if the legs weren't stiff & sore already from today's exertions (and it wasn't 10.30pm) I'd be keen to suit up again and get out there!!

  • @Mikael Liddy - I was just thinking the exact same thing. It is a real treat to get more acquainted with this community of like-minded folks here by combing through the archives. Truly inspiring.

  • @drsoul
    Yeh yeh. Good fun.
    I like that, as they should be, the articles are a set up for the main course - the discussion in the comments section. Unlike a lot of blogs, the articles live on long after they would normally die.
    It's a more interesting and guided version of a forum.

  • Reviving an old thread to share what I think is an awesome story from today. My son, Dash,10 years old, had a 1 mile race at school today against all the 5th graders, which is about 150 kids. He said that the first lap everyone was sprinting and he was near the back, but then they all started to die and he found himself in 2nd place on lap 3 out of 4 and he noticed that his legs were killing him. He said at that moment that he said to himself, "SHUT UP LEGS!" and passed the last guy and went on to win all by himself. Defintiely my son! Now my wife HAS to acknowledge that there actually IS some usefulness in my showing the kiddos all these cycling youtube clips!!!

    As Fronk said above, pre Shut-Up-Legs quote but paraphrased, "As Jens Voigt - my all-time favorite cyclist - says, "When you go hard, your body says, 'STOP!' and your mind says, 'BODY, SHUT UP!' And, sometimes it works! And then you GO!"

  • Not sure if this has been posted before but, can't imagine that it hasn't, especially from one of the PNWers. Anyway:

  • @Bespoke

    Not sure if this has been posted before but, can't imagine that it hasn't, especially from one of the PNWers. Anyway:

    Beauty, are you in Seattle? Aside from being a secret homage to our patron saint, the SAM is a fantastic museum.

    Nice looking bike, even if you didn't lean it properly.

  • @frank

    @Bespoke

    Not sure if this has been posted before but, can't imagine that it hasn't, especially from one of the PNWers. Anyway:

    Beauty, are you in Seattle? Aside from being a secret homage to our patron saint, the SAM is a fantastic museum.

    Nice looking bike, even if you didn't lean it properly.

    Hi Frank, no, unfortunately not right now. I did live there for a few months back in the 80's - immediately post punk, although I wasn't part of that movement nor there for that reason.

    Also, you would have recognized my bike from the V-cufflinks! This photo is a net grab, apropos with the bike, I thought. Would have posted a gif with the movement of The Man's hammer if I could have found one.

    Certainly, if I am out your way (and I hope to be so soon), I will look you and other Velominati up.

    Cheers!

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