Velominati Super Prestige: 2011 Eneco Tour

Eneco Tour of the Netherlands and Belgium. Photo: Team Sky

“The what Tour?” The question sounds less like a question and a bit more like an accusation. We’re sitting in Gianni’s home on Maui and I’ve just answered a query as to what I’m doing with a computer on my lap when the weather is too nice to justify such a thing.

Even a man as familiar with cycling as Gianni can be forgiven for not knowing the race by it’s new name, the Eneco Tour. The race used to be the Tour of the Netherlands and like the Amstel Gold Race, has enjoyed considerably more success than did the Eindhoven Team Time Trial which boasted a field of least one team each year it was held.

Originally the Tour of the Netherlands, the race now features a parcours through the Netherlands as well as Belgium. As far as preparation races go, it serves as a sort of bizarro preparation for the Vuelta, in the sense that racing in the lowlands would be good way to get ready for a mountainous Grand Tour. Never mind all that, we’re back racing in the VSP and we’re in Dutch-speaking country and I love it. I hope you enjoy lots of helpful translations of Dutch phrases you don’t care about (and probably didn’t hear) from yours truly, because that’s what you’ll be getting for a full week. And I hope you like the color orange.

With that we kick off into the last minor-stage VSP of 2011 for the Eneco Tour. Being a week-long stage race, the points on offer are 7 for first, 5 for second, 4 for third, 3 for fourth, 2 for fifth, with the usual allotment of bonus points for getting the rider right but the place wrong. Also, there are no rest days, so no rest day swaps, but we will have our usual approach for riders who drop out. And, all you Rule #5 apologists out there will be happy to know that we now officially have abolished the 10-minute rule. Piti Principle applies as always. Also review the guide, being careful to note that the rules have changes a bit this year, and we may not have completely updated the guide yet, so if there’s a question, ask.

Best of luck to all.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

Next Anatomy of a Photo: Laurent Fignon, 1989 Tour de France »

Previous « Look Pro, Part IX: Proper Cycling Caps

View Comments

Souleur says:

Aug 15 2011 at 9:06 am

@ cyclops:

BigGeorge: hey, cyclops, got any 'masters' hints on how to lead out or pull that last K at 55kph??
wiscot says:

Aug 15 2011 at 9:13 am

@Chris
I think the conversation continues:
George "I love the Velominati"
Cyclops "I know you do George, but you are aware of Rule #23, aren't you?
George, (ashamed) Yes, but please don't photograph my feet, cos the weather is indeed lovely and I'm wearing overshoes.
Cyclops, "Ok George, just this time I'll let you off. HTFU."
brett says:

Aug 15 2011 at 12:39 pm

@wiscot

I think we really need to change Rule 23... George is pretty cool, to let Cyclops unzip his jersey like that.
Minion says:

Aug 15 2011 at 12:59 pm

Rule 23 is the equivalent of wearing socks while making love. In 99.5 per cent of cases it's done by repressed Englishmen but every now and then someone exceptional gets a pass. Rule 23 wouldn't exist if some of us weren't massive fans of George, if Ricco wore em I bet dollars to donuts there would be no such rule.
Chris says:

Aug 16 2011 at 1:31 am

@wiscot

@Chris
I think the conversation continues:
George "I love the Velominati"
Cyclops "I know you do George, but you are aware of Rule #23, aren't you?
George, (ashamed) Yes, but please don't photograph my feet, cos the weather is indeed lovely and I'm wearing overshoes. Mummy has made me wear them ever since I got a cold riding home from school. Mummy won't let me have a V-Shirt until Frank takes Rule 23 down"
Cyclops, "Ok George, just this time I'll let you off. HTFU."

@Minion

Rule #23 is the equivalent of wearing socks while making love. In 99.5 per cent of cases it's done by repressed Englishmen but every now and then someone exceptional gets a pass. Rule #23 wouldn't exist if some of us weren't massive fans of George, if Ricco wore em I bet dollars to donuts there would be no such rule.

I put it to you that it is possible for a repressed Englishman can pull it off. Er, no, um, what I mean't to say was, "Steady on old chap, that's the harshest national slur I've come across on this site! Do you have a personal issue Englishmen in socks?"