Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France 2012
We are proud to announce a change to the Velominati Super Prestige moving forward: sponsorship. We are delighted (if a little surprised) at the interest our partners showed in this endeavor, despite the short notice we gave them. Four sponsors will be gracing the sides of our team bus for this year’s race: fi’zi:k is our Super Domestique Sponsor (think Big George without the shoe covers because who’d want to cover those beauties up), while the leadout train is being rounded out by DeFeet, Pavé Cycling Classics, and Malteni Beer. As we all know, fizik gets a lot of love around here as the Contact Point Supplier, and for good reason. So we thought now is as good a time as any to announce that DeFeet has agreed to come on board as Flandrian Best Supplier, the Pavé boys, our trusted guides over the stones and bergs, and Malteni Biere which fills our bidon and keeps us making bad decisions like teaming up with the Pavé boys.
So what does Super Domestique Sponsor mean? Free shoes to the winners – that’s what it means, dillwhips. Free R3’s, yup the Aristocrats, to the three winners of the VSP: TdF GC Winner and the two Stage VSP’s. As you watch this year’s race, look for the likes of Jeremy Roy and Richie Porte riding the R3’s in complete Rule Compliance. As Leadout Sponsor, Defeet is providing a full Flandrian Best Kit including a base layer, Armskins, Kneekers, and Slipstream Belgian booties for the VSP: Tdf GC second place as well plus two pairs of D-Logo socks to each runner-up of the Stage VSP’s. The Pavé boys (also Leadout Sponsors) are putting up a limited Pavé Cycling Classics wool jersey awarded to third place. We can’t ship Malteni (also Leadout Sponsors) legally, so you’ll just have to wait until you’re in Belgium to guzzle some of that lovely nectar or join the Pavé boys for their Worlds Weekend tour with Johan Museeuw where they’ll get you stupid(er) on the stuff.
Gianni’s Ruminations
Finally, the date has arrived. We have all done our training through the winter, contested the Spring Classics, The Ardennes Races, Romandie, Oh the Giro, The Dauphine, Tour de Swiss. Not all were in the VSP schedule but I know most of you wrote down your picks for the others and tucked them under your pillows. It’s training. There has been time to taper down before Saturday’s prologue start in Liége, Belgium. A young neo-pro, The Fish, is leading in points. The hardened veterans have seen these youth come and go, the season is long. A touch of wheels, a moment of youthful idealism, Vladimir Karpets is picked to podium, The Fish goes down, he panics and by the time he is back up he will never see the front again. Or he will continue to mock us all with his astute choices and lead all the way to Lombardy.
I have staked my claim on the yellow kit ownership some time ago and still see this as an epic Cadel-Wiggo battle to the death and if not death, until one of them sits up. But this year might be the time the youth start to fill up the other three places in the top five.
The Shack’s team car has been crashing into every static object all spring and now Bruyneel has been yanked out of the driver’s seat. The ride can only get smoother but with the reluctant leader Frank Schleck staring at over 100km of prologue and time trialing, as was said in the bunker, they are going stage hunting. I could go on for hours about the 2012 TdF but we have other Keepers who need to vent.
Please check the VSP page for the rules, keep an eye on the awesome VSP countdown timer, don’t Delgado your picks. Here is the start list.
I have to give a shout out to a brave group of Velominati who are heading to the Vermont/Canadian border to draft behind a massive dump truck full of Awesome all the way to the Massachusetts state line. It’s a Cogal only deranged people would attempt and as luck would have it, we supply them here. I hope they get their picks in soon as they may be in no kind of shape on Friday to think about such important things.
Brett’s Misconceptions
It’s all about Fränk. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to hold him back. Deliberately sucking all year so far, crashing and quitting, a hint of form, Bruyneel slinks off to deflect attention (and suspicion), Fränk suddenly can time trial and a couple of Pharmy style attacks later he wins in Paris by two minutes, taking the sprint on the Champs Elysees for good measure. Maybe not the last bit. Fränk will, however, finish in lil bro’s favourite position. Or suddenly leave with a stomach bug.
Cadel will take this. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to worry about in the mountains. Deliberately almost sucking so far, but not. Hints of form, staying low, deflecting attention. Look after the time trials and command the mountains. Safe, not exciting. Or he’ll step on someone else’s dog, breaking his elbow and decapitating the dog.
Wiggo could take this. It’s perfect. A lot of form. A lot of km’s against the clock. Not too many big hills. Too tall socks. Cav left to fight alone. One bad day is waiting there though, the sort of bad day that not even winning the final TT by 2 minutes can alleviate. Or he’ll crash in the first week, breaking both elbows after getting a sideburn caught in his crazy bio pace chainrings.
Sagan will win the first twelve stages, then leave with a stomach bug. Gossy will gratefully step into the vacant green in the greatest heist since Gerro won San Remo. And the Rug Salesman will be all spotty, due to getting in a long break and not sucking as much as even he expected. That’ll help him to 5th and Zubeldia level evanescence.
None of this may actually come close to happening, but whatever does I hope it’s an exciting race. Good luck to those battling hard for three weeks in the VSP race too, it could just turn out to be the main point of interest a couple of weeks from now.
Marko’s Reckoning
The Fish loses two spots on the G.C. but manages to eek out a pair of R3s in a sub-VSP as G’phant peaks in le Grande Boucle and walks away with le Grande Bouprize. Sad thing is, G’phant is legend but nobody remembers him because he only shows for races, not group rides anymore. Fausto rides a calculated, if not boring, race to move up a spot but just misses out. Gianni gets a glimpse of the podium going into the 16th stage and the Tourmalet but drowns in a lactic acid and caffeine soaked bath in that stage’s VSP. Marko Delgados virtually the entire event while he continues building his family a house in direct violation of Rule #11, which is more than we can say for Brett and Frank who were last seen going in the opposite direction with Bruyneel in a Radiotreksanshack team car dragging a muffler through Liege on its way to a USADA hearing near Austin.
In the meantime, two dudes from the Commonwealth – one with sideburns approaching muttonchops and another with an ass on his chin – duel it out in France. There will be some Italian, Spanish, and Russian dudes there too in an epic the likes of which hasn’t been seen in years. Fuck Yeah people, Vive le Tour.
Frank’s Delusions
It happens every single time. I get all weepy-eyed about the Giro and how it’s the Velominatus’ choice for a Grand Tour. Less crazy, better terrain, a comparatively weaker field usually yielding a closer race. But come the Tour, I get all starstruck as the big names line up in the best form they could muster for the season.
I also had decided to pick Twiggo for the big win, but now I’m not so sure. I love that the guy is tall and can get over a mountain, but there is one irrefutable fact that I can’t get over. He looks much too much like Gianni’s avatar, only not as well-kept. The sardonic look on his face along with those whispy sideburns are just too much for me to take. I’m back to rolling with my heart and my questionable sensibilities to favor Grimpelder this time round, now that he’s out of the shadow of his little brother and will be able to put the swivelnecking energy into the pedals instead of looking behind him.
The good news is that the racing always winds up being awesome. And that’s what its about: panache. So long as Wiggo doesn’t pull an Indurain and take 6 minutes on an early TT, I’ll be happy.
Epilogue
Pick carefully, don’t Delgado, and think twice about those rest day swaps; they come at a heavy price and there are some nice prizes on the line which make the Velominati Shop Apron look like a Schleck’s chamois during the descent of the Peyresourde.
The Fine Print: each contestant is of course encouraged to enter all VSP events, but everyone is eligible to take the prizes on only one VSP. If a contestant takes more than one VSP event (GC or Stage) the prize for that VSP will then be awarded to the player with the next highest score. In the event of a tie we’ll do our best to find the fairest way to break the tie. If something doesn’t make sense, please ask; we’re making this up as we go along.
Get your picks in by the time the countdown clock goes to zero, and good luck. Vive le Tour.
@meursault
Cadel’s laughing at the shitty headgear Sky get their man to wear . . .
@Nate
Frankly, all Velominati should have this posted next to where they keep their bikes. Rule observance to the max and 100% casually deliberate. Love those Contrex bottles too.
What goes around comes around too – Le Coq Sportif are back as classification jersey makers. I’ll take a green cap over a yellow helmet anyday.
Anybody using the NBC access pass? Worth it over the free feeds on cyclingfans?
Am I missing or not understanding something? Shouldn’t I have 40 points now since Faboo is still in yellow after Stage 1?
Morkov is looking pretty good in the dottyjumper, helmet aside.
@seemunkee I had it last year and really liked it. I would assume it’s at least as good this year.
@Blah
Opposite extreme (I know) — sorry. I would like to see FIGHT THE POWER salute come across the line one day. Flavor Flav could really teach these guys a thing on salutes — or two. “Yeah boyeee!”
OK, helmets. As Marcus had said a while ago, I have an abonination for a lid. With that endorsement of expertise in stupid hats, WTF is going on with all the ventless and odd looking helmets this year? New kit on display…fuck, I need to get a new helmet (again, thanks Marcus) but I don’t want to have to buy something awful….
@Gianni
AWESOME picture and blog.
@brett
It’s a brand new, wonderful day! Yesterday I learned that most discussions or rifts are suspect to being only 1, 2, or 3 degrees of Frank. Never give up (Brett) — just harden the fuck up. Myself included.
@936adl
When and where chaps?
Impressive win from Cav today. Picked his spot very nicely.
Little ol’ Cav has managed to somehow win me over; I suddenly found myself cheering for him. Awesome sprint – super impressive how he can place himself. Leadout train or no, he just gets it done. I thought he was done for with how far back he was, they go around a bend and all of a sudden he’s in third wheel. Amazing!
And that Rule #67 – violating Sagan got a little lesson today in how the big boys play. I’m sure he’s a quick learner and he’ll win against them eventually, but nevertheless…
Cavendooooooooooooouuuuuche !!!
@frank
I’ve always been a Cav fan – that’s why I’m worried about him at Sky. Of course he will still win stages but it will be by wheels not bike lengths. I loved seeing him power away with the riders behind not able to keep his wheel but I fear those days are over.
Greipel looked good today too.
And if Sagan had an armchair ride yesterday he had to work hard today – lots of elbow work in that last 500m.
I was slightly ambivalent towards Cav. Probably the reserved English thing of not dealing well with cocky, confident young stars. That and his propensity towards not shaving. But whilst I’ll never come round towards the lanky Scots tennis brat, Cav seems to be turning into a bit of a legend. A big chunk of that seems to be his respect for the sport, things like wearing black shorts with the rainbow stripes. The fact that he doesn’t seem to spend much time whining about things and is willing to get stuck in a domestique helps. Mainly though it’s probably that I like the idea of a slightly chubby short arse dishing it out.
I watched the Ferrari Giro crash a few times and was stunned at how patient Cav was in the build up, holding back, checking himself and gradually working his way into position. At times not even pedalling. Similar story at the world championships. There’s a lot more to it than being towed to five hundred yards out, tapping the fast lever and hammering it.
@Dan_R
They’re tough girls (er women). They beat up on us boys here in PDX pretty often.
Had to share this:
On the Lotto Belisol Facebook Fan Page they’re offering a prize for guessing which of their riders will have the highest placing tomorrow. The tie breaker is the nearest prediction for the time for that rider.
Ok – sounds great. What’s the prize?
Well I’m glad you asked – it’s a twist drill set.
So if anyone fancies 18 drill bits in a plastic box this is the competition for you…
Was interesting to finally see Sagan in a heads up group sprint against the best of the best. He’s going to be fighting for a top 5 when it’s flat like today. Great finish by Cav, even though it was close there seemed to be no doubt that he would win. Incredible speed.
Today’s Tour ‘snapshot’ looks promising. WIGGINS at :7, EVANS at :17, NIBALI at :18, HESJEDAL at :18 and VALVERDE may come up.
@brett – we had a good laugh yesterday while thinking of you.
At the start area in Liege, we were standing on one side of the barrier and Jasmine Van Summeren was directly on the other, just inches away. She was telling one of the other wives/girlfriend/ms right now about how much easier it was in the old days to approach the team buses.
No, we didn’t get a picture for you.
@Chipomarc
That could be. I was thinking of the episode in a Dog in a Hat where Parkin decided to rock a mullet one spring for shits and giggles, and several of the other riders (all Euros of course in that era) stepped up to mixing business and pleasure, without understanding the American cultural connotations of that fine hairstyle.
@chipomarc
thats cool, i was watching the game and don’t have any skin in it other than I enjoy watching it, and i sense that the Italians will remember the spaniards running the score up, Balotelli looked hot after the game
@frank
Yeah. If there was any doubt, the interview with him at the end of the Giro where he was absolutely shattered demonstrated he was for real. Smart sprint from him today and he knew exactly whose wheel he wanted.
@ChrisO
Me, too. He’s always been cocky, but he has shown respect and ALWAYS thanked his teammates. Sagan is a very fast learner, so beware.
O-face, anyone?
@Cyclops
Yes, you’re missing something, but I’m not sure since when because the way the competition is scored has not changed in four years: points are not accumulated; the provisional results we post are a snapshot of what it would look like if the race ended today. Which means that after stage seven when Faboo will have fallen out of the top five, you will lose 20 points from your current total. (I don’t know who you’ve got in your picks).
@all
As a reminder, the scoring is based only on the final GC with 20 points for first place, 15 for second, 10 for third, 7 for fourth, and 5 for fifth; plus 3 points per rider in the top five regardless of the rider’s placing. It makes no difference what happens along the way. The provisional
@LA Dave
What’s interesting about the Sagan wagon wheel leech is that of the fast sprinters he’s a monster going uphill as well. He was the only one yesterday to figure (and win) and he was there today. Boss Hog was there yesterday and can finish well in a multitude of finales but I’d never classify him in the same speed category as Cav, Geipel, or Farrar while I would put Sagan in there. Impressive.
@Dan_R
Those Giro lids look like the giant, hollowed-out bowling ball I had to ride in in the 90’s. And Millar was riding his with a full visor. ABOMINATION.
Here’s how you do it. Hairnets, please.
And, a study in contrasts here:
Here’s Millars helmet today. A whole bag full of what the fuck going on there. And from a ride who normally exhibits such a great cycling aesthete.
@frank
Ya. What the fucking fuck is that thing? Did he borrow that of a X-Gaming BMX kid? And the yellow lids look like shit too. I hear-by dub them “The 70’s Toilet Bowles”………
@frank
Sponsorship is a beautiful thing until it isn’t. For a guy like Millar it must be rough to be told you have to leave the start line looking like an ass. To top it off, I bet that thing is hot. For their part though I think Giro is putting all their ad budget for the year into this thing. The new does everything terribly, not so aero tt helmet, not so breathable road helmet.
Now I know plenty of you guys think Cav is a toiletries container but you can’t knock him today. He’s lost weight and probably some power, he’s got no lead out men and yet tactically he played it perfect and put it across that giant Griepel. Sagan was well beaten but that kid has a really bright future. He’ll pay his dues as they all do and learn his trade at the pointy end.
It’ll be interesting to see if Sagan can use his strength on tomorrows lumpy finish.
@razmaspaz
If you follow Millar on twitter you’ll know he’s not massively impressed with his new lid.
@millarmind
and just in case you thought he’s a cynical old pro he also had this to say…
@millarmind
Ouch, that yellow helmet is bad, bad news…
Argh, tough not seeing any of this, as I’m on the road. Still reading the headlines though. I have dreams that I could buy a newspaper and read all about cycling. Oh well, just fantasies.
Going to be awesome to get home and watch a week of highlights in one go. I shall have a 2nd week kick-off party!
I didn’t follow him, but I do now. Quality!
Have any Velominati out there actually handled one of these shitty looking helmets? I mean, it makes LeMan’s Giro Air Attack from 1990 look like a well-ventilated and designed lid – which it was 22 years ago. I’m sure the new lid has been exhaustively tested, but can you really believe that thing is cooler than most of the other helmets out there?
I think the expressions on Millar’s face speak volumes as to what he thinks of his new helmet.
@wiscot
Indeed. Its all back to the drawing board. Look familiar?
And I’ll use this opportunity to assert once again that the hairnet was the coolest bit of headgear ever.
New TDF helmets are one step away from these…
Mind you, a few of the Brancale lids Kelly wore in the early 90s were truly fugly. I guess when the sponsor comes along with a big cheque, then pros/we might wear most things. With Kelly I think it was a specific sponsorship as I don’t recall too many teammates wearing the fugly things.
As always, I’ll let Frank and his interweb search sklllz prove my point . . .
We Scots have had to endure ridiculous headgear for some time.
For instance this is a picture of the cap that the sponsors (McTavish Lard) insisted that the leading team in the Tour of Scotland had to wear in 1986.
As nobody sober would wear it the entire race was cancelled on the first day at the start line in Airdrie and all teams were refunded half of the £5 entry fee.
@Tartan1749
I like Cav (he won like Robbie McEwen today) but am not sure u can say he always showed respect. His one-leeged passing of Cipo was nigh on unforgiveable. He has matured sine then – and he is a sprinteWhich incheans respect and manners aren’t exactly essential
Here’s a picture of the Tour of Scotland Prologue just before the infamous hat incident kyboshed the whole event.
Hugh Janus has just passed his minute man (a young Mr O’Bree) on his way to recording the only recorded time of the entire event.
I am ‘sporting’ this atm.
http://img.artscyclery.com/product/NCHMCB2.jpg
As mentioned in another thread, bought before I had heard of the rules. The worrying thing is, I still like it…anyways didn’t embed pic as it’s not fair without fair warning.
@meursault
The name on the front says it all really.
@the Engine
Really, the Jimmy hat should be renamed the McWiggo. When the Modman wears his hair long, he looks like an English version of the Jimmy hat. (Got one in the back of the closet somewhere . . . . way back.)
@wiscot
Fuck me (slaps forehead) you’ve seen what I couldn’t – Wiggo is pretending to be Scottish but as he’s Belgian Australian and has only seen pictures of Edinburgh in a book he hasn’t got the look quite right.
Those long socks are, of course, his version of kilt hose. I’ll look carefully tomorrow and see if he’s wearing garters – if he is we’ve got him bang to rights.
@wiscot
Indeed sir! have seen a Rudy project one I like the look of, may get the photochromatic glasses too, just justifying it to the VHM is the problem.
For days when I want to rock the ugly yellow helmet look
@Chipomarc
The helmets seem to fit in ok with your living room
Mark Cavendouche – World’s best sprinter, not just the fastest, period