Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France 2012
We are proud to announce a change to the Velominati Super Prestige moving forward: sponsorship. We are delighted (if a little surprised) at the interest our partners showed in this endeavor, despite the short notice we gave them. Four sponsors will be gracing the sides of our team bus for this year’s race: fi’zi:k is our Super Domestique Sponsor (think Big George without the shoe covers because who’d want to cover those beauties up), while the leadout train is being rounded out by DeFeet, Pavé Cycling Classics, and Malteni Beer. As we all know, fizik gets a lot of love around here as the Contact Point Supplier, and for good reason. So we thought now is as good a time as any to announce that DeFeet has agreed to come on board as Flandrian Best Supplier, the Pavé boys, our trusted guides over the stones and bergs, and Malteni Biere which fills our bidon and keeps us making bad decisions like teaming up with the Pavé boys.
So what does Super Domestique Sponsor mean? Free shoes to the winners – that’s what it means, dillwhips. Free R3’s, yup the Aristocrats, to the three winners of the VSP: TdF GC Winner and the two Stage VSP’s. As you watch this year’s race, look for the likes of Jeremy Roy and Richie Porte riding the R3’s in complete Rule Compliance. As Leadout Sponsor, Defeet is providing a full Flandrian Best Kit including a base layer, Armskins, Kneekers, and Slipstream Belgian booties for the VSP: Tdf GC second place as well plus two pairs of D-Logo socks to each runner-up of the Stage VSP’s. The Pavé boys (also Leadout Sponsors) are putting up a limited Pavé Cycling Classics wool jersey awarded to third place. We can’t ship Malteni (also Leadout Sponsors) legally, so you’ll just have to wait until you’re in Belgium to guzzle some of that lovely nectar or join the Pavé boys for their Worlds Weekend tour with Johan Museeuw where they’ll get you stupid(er) on the stuff.
Gianni’s Ruminations
Finally, the date has arrived. We have all done our training through the winter, contested the Spring Classics, The Ardennes Races, Romandie, Oh the Giro, The Dauphine, Tour de Swiss. Not all were in the VSP schedule but I know most of you wrote down your picks for the others and tucked them under your pillows. It’s training. There has been time to taper down before Saturday’s prologue start in Liége, Belgium. A young neo-pro, The Fish, is leading in points. The hardened veterans have seen these youth come and go, the season is long. A touch of wheels, a moment of youthful idealism, Vladimir Karpets is picked to podium, The Fish goes down, he panics and by the time he is back up he will never see the front again. Or he will continue to mock us all with his astute choices and lead all the way to Lombardy.
I have staked my claim on the yellow kit ownership some time ago and still see this as an epic Cadel-Wiggo battle to the death and if not death, until one of them sits up. But this year might be the time the youth start to fill up the other three places in the top five.
The Shack’s team car has been crashing into every static object all spring and now Bruyneel has been yanked out of the driver’s seat. The ride can only get smoother but with the reluctant leader Frank Schleck staring at over 100km of prologue and time trialing, as was said in the bunker, they are going stage hunting. I could go on for hours about the 2012 TdF but we have other Keepers who need to vent.
Please check the VSP page for the rules, keep an eye on the awesome VSP countdown timer, don’t Delgado your picks. Here is the start list.
I have to give a shout out to a brave group of Velominati who are heading to the Vermont/Canadian border to draft behind a massive dump truck full of Awesome all the way to the Massachusetts state line. It’s a Cogal only deranged people would attempt and as luck would have it, we supply them here. I hope they get their picks in soon as they may be in no kind of shape on Friday to think about such important things.
Brett’s Misconceptions
It’s all about Fränk. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to hold him back. Deliberately sucking all year so far, crashing and quitting, a hint of form, Bruyneel slinks off to deflect attention (and suspicion), Fränk suddenly can time trial and a couple of Pharmy style attacks later he wins in Paris by two minutes, taking the sprint on the Champs Elysees for good measure. Maybe not the last bit. Fränk will, however, finish in lil bro’s favourite position. Or suddenly leave with a stomach bug.
Cadel will take this. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to worry about in the mountains. Deliberately almost sucking so far, but not. Hints of form, staying low, deflecting attention. Look after the time trials and command the mountains. Safe, not exciting. Or he’ll step on someone else’s dog, breaking his elbow and decapitating the dog.
Wiggo could take this. It’s perfect. A lot of form. A lot of km’s against the clock. Not too many big hills. Too tall socks. Cav left to fight alone. One bad day is waiting there though, the sort of bad day that not even winning the final TT by 2 minutes can alleviate. Or he’ll crash in the first week, breaking both elbows after getting a sideburn caught in his crazy bio pace chainrings.
Sagan will win the first twelve stages, then leave with a stomach bug. Gossy will gratefully step into the vacant green in the greatest heist since Gerro won San Remo. And the Rug Salesman will be all spotty, due to getting in a long break and not sucking as much as even he expected. That’ll help him to 5th and Zubeldia level evanescence.
None of this may actually come close to happening, but whatever does I hope it’s an exciting race. Good luck to those battling hard for three weeks in the VSP race too, it could just turn out to be the main point of interest a couple of weeks from now.
Marko’s Reckoning
The Fish loses two spots on the G.C. but manages to eek out a pair of R3s in a sub-VSP as G’phant peaks in le Grande Boucle and walks away with le Grande Bouprize. Sad thing is, G’phant is legend but nobody remembers him because he only shows for races, not group rides anymore. Fausto rides a calculated, if not boring, race to move up a spot but just misses out. Gianni gets a glimpse of the podium going into the 16th stage and the Tourmalet but drowns in a lactic acid and caffeine soaked bath in that stage’s VSP. Marko Delgados virtually the entire event while he continues building his family a house in direct violation of Rule #11, which is more than we can say for Brett and Frank who were last seen going in the opposite direction with Bruyneel in a Radiotreksanshack team car dragging a muffler through Liege on its way to a USADA hearing near Austin.
In the meantime, two dudes from the Commonwealth – one with sideburns approaching muttonchops and another with an ass on his chin – duel it out in France. There will be some Italian, Spanish, and Russian dudes there too in an epic the likes of which hasn’t been seen in years. Fuck Yeah people, Vive le Tour.
Frank’s Delusions
It happens every single time. I get all weepy-eyed about the Giro and how it’s the Velominatus’ choice for a Grand Tour. Less crazy, better terrain, a comparatively weaker field usually yielding a closer race. But come the Tour, I get all starstruck as the big names line up in the best form they could muster for the season.
I also had decided to pick Twiggo for the big win, but now I’m not so sure. I love that the guy is tall and can get over a mountain, but there is one irrefutable fact that I can’t get over. He looks much too much like Gianni’s avatar, only not as well-kept. The sardonic look on his face along with those whispy sideburns are just too much for me to take. I’m back to rolling with my heart and my questionable sensibilities to favor Grimpelder this time round, now that he’s out of the shadow of his little brother and will be able to put the swivelnecking energy into the pedals instead of looking behind him.
The good news is that the racing always winds up being awesome. And that’s what its about: panache. So long as Wiggo doesn’t pull an Indurain and take 6 minutes on an early TT, I’ll be happy.
Epilogue
Pick carefully, don’t Delgado, and think twice about those rest day swaps; they come at a heavy price and there are some nice prizes on the line which make the Velominati Shop Apron look like a Schleck’s chamois during the descent of the Peyresourde.
The Fine Print: each contestant is of course encouraged to enter all VSP events, but everyone is eligible to take the prizes on only one VSP. If a contestant takes more than one VSP event (GC or Stage) the prize for that VSP will then be awarded to the player with the next highest score. In the event of a tie we’ll do our best to find the fairest way to break the tie. If something doesn’t make sense, please ask; we’re making this up as we go along.
Get your picks in by the time the countdown clock goes to zero, and good luck. Vive le Tour.
I’m really diggin’ this Tour. It seems in several of the past Tours the big guns play cat & mouse till the 1 or 2 big mountain stages and then see where the chips fall after the time trials. I think its awesome that Wiggo & Evans are duking it out on stage 7 while leaving everyone else in their wake. Cant imagine what the team directors are doing tonite- besides fraking out. Would love to see Andi (Yes… with an i) & Cuntador in this race (with or without his tainted meat) to see what would happen….but… they aren’t here and this is GREAT racing. When does Stage 8 start?
@Oli
Ok, the site can stay up on the technicality that I believe the Hulk was just a spur-of-the-moment thing and actually just based on his enthusiasm of winning a sprint against a guy he didnt realize was racing with only half a body!
This says it all:
http://velonews.competitor.com/2012/07/news/sean-yates-describes-skys-strategy-in-2012-tour-turn-the-screw-until-they-pop_228191
Sean Yates, gents. Few words:
“The strategy?” Sky director sportif Sean Yates said Saturday at the summit of La Planche des Belles Filles, after his squad battered the peloton. “Turn the screw. Just keep turning the screw, and then one by one, they will pop.”
Fuck yeah. That’s the V.
@frank Jens Joigt? Really?
I’m so freaking stoked! I lost the yellow jersey today but at our downtown crit today I was able to hang with some super fast masters to take a fourth. Man, I was in the hurt locker the whole race. My goal for the race was to not go off the back so I’m pretty pleased. But to top it all off I won the $5 raffle for the set of Reynolds carbon clinchers. Those are like $1600 wheels aren’t they? I can’t believe it.
@Cyclops
merckx i love Reynolds wheels. nice.
@RedRanger
I can’t ride carbon wheels. My arse is too big. A nod to carbon for my fork, otherwise, what is under may ass is all metal.
@Oli
Wow. How did that slip by the ol’ brain filter? Got a bit enthusiastic with the IPA and the the Photoshop. Just be glad I’m not driving.
@Oli
What I meant to say.
@frank, @Oli
Through an anomaly that I could explain but don’t care to, it appears uploading a new version of the picture without reloading the page first fixed the original fuck up. I’m actually a bit disappointed about that, actually, as it was a classic. Its a bug I’ve been meaning to fix but haven’t gotten to. Jens Joigt, sadly is now lost to the ether.
For anyone wondering, this IPA is particularly awesome, and this is the IPA I will be supplying at the Graveur Cogal in Winthrop in August.
http://www.oldschoolhousebrewery.com/imperialipa.html
Best I’ve had in a while. Obviously.
I think the new kit (which I designed) and the guns are looking pretty good. I’m #205 coming around Mr. Schleck-legs in the final sprint.
@Cyclops
Well they sure look like they’re working, congratulations on the result and the new wheels.
@Cyclops
nice victory old bean, and well done on the fourth place too!
I watched the Sky train again before bedtime last night, and awoke this morning at 5am for my 9.30 club ride (not helpful) thinking of Knees, Rodgers, Porte, Wiggo and Froomie beasting the peleton
Oddly, having always watched in admiration and wanted so an so to do well, the Tour has always been exciting – now, having your favourite rider and team actually in with a shout of winning, the viewing becomes excruciating – not sure I can cope with this for 2 more weeks – every pedal stroke, knowing the Man with the Hammer could smash it all to pieces without warning, makes for a nauseating experience – I swear, my legs hurt this morning and I haven’t ridden four 4 days!!
Vive le Tour!!!
@Dr C
It’s more intense this time isn’t it?
Last night after the Men’s Doubles at Wimbledon I started to feel like British sportsmen and women could be about to have a good year. Our guys often come close but don’t have the extra something, maybe a sort of ruthlessness, to beat their competition.
We’ll see later if Andy Murray manages to become the first Brit to win Wimbledon for 76 years, good luck to him.
I might point out that I struggle with nationalism/tribalism. It makes sport more exciting but other than that I’d rather just call myself an earthling and enjoy life alongside all other creatures here on Earth.
I find myself cheering on those riders that are giving their all (Voeckler last year) or dealing with injuries (Hoogerland and many others) no matter which country they come from and at the end the best one get’s the yellow jersey.
@Dr C
@snoov
If Murray wins Wimbledon, and Wiggins the Tour, sport as we know it will be officially dead. Pray tell you should win The Ashes… oh, shit.
@Dr C
@snoov
@brett
At least Wiggins looks smooth (right up until he crackswhich I hope like fuck that he does). Try being a Cadelfanboy. No matter what the mountain Cuddles always looks like he is on the verge of cracking. This is trulyexcruciating.
Cadel looked way overgeared last night in the finale.
If I was Sky I would be very keen to let a decent break go up the road and pinch the yellow. Despite their relative strength, it’s a long time to be wearing yellow – even if it is an Australian owned team backed by Australian riders.
@frank
It’s a shame you didn’t mess the consonants the other way.
Vens Voigt is way more appropriate.
One of the many things I love about the cycling world is that the Belgians, the French, the Italians, the Dutch (an exhaustive list so I’ll stop) cheer the Rainbow jersey or the leader of the race no matter where the rider comes from – it’s truly wonderful, they just love cycling. In a sport like football, I always get the feeling that the rest of the world hates the English teams, not easy to put my finger on why and even as a Scot I get no pleasure from it.
Now how many hours till le tour starts? It’s after 10am, I’ve got hours to wait so I’m going back to bed.
It could be my brainwashed anti-English pro-Scottish bias which I have nearly shaken off which makes me feel uneasy.
@Marcus
That’s very true. But if there’s a team that could hold on to yellow for two weeks, Sky is it.
It was a clever tactic by Sky yesterday but it’s a lot easier to do that on a single mountain stage. The real test will be in the Pyrenees and Evans can take encouragement from having soaked up everything they threw at him.
That’s Sanchez out with a shoulder or collar bone injury.
Did you see what happened? Was it aspectator? Looked horrific.
It wasn’t clear, looked to me like his own team mate took out his front wheel but I couldn’t see why he moved over to the left, maybe he got a puncture.
@brett I don’t see Murray wining today. But anything can happen.
@Giles Not sure exactly what started it, but man he was squashed by the guy landing on top of him! The dude looked like his hip landed on Sanchez’ head from a great height – I thought Sammy had a fractured skull!
Just as the race starts to get really interesting, I’m going back country hiking for twelve days. No rider/Ryder swaps for me. Fortunately I’ll be back in time for the last stage, so at least I can tune in then and wonder what all transpired in the interim.
The DS in the FDJ car was yelling his head off. Really hope this kid wins it.
FUCKING brilliant! What a finish! Had me shouting like I was bloody Madiot or something! Just awesome! Now I can finally go ride before it gets too hot!
@Buck Rogers
Yes. FDJ were long overdue. Madiot had every right to be ecstatic””and Pinot on his home turf. This is the trend I want for the rest of the Tour. The GC can sort itself out behind, but I want a Frenchman to win every breakaway from here on in…
Lotto Belisol are giving away a set of pliers in tomorrow’s Facebook competition – I just thought you’d all like to know.
Slight shuffle of the deck andhere now have Fausto and Buck tied for first; Bill into second.
Provisional Race Results
1. WIGGINS Bradley
2. EVANS Cadel
3. NIBALI Vincenzo
4. MENCHOV Denis
5. ZUBELDIA AGIRRE Haimar
Provisional VSP Standings
1. Fausto (52 points)
2. Buck Rogers (52 points)
3. Bill (48 points)
4. San Tonio (45 points)
5. mrhallorann (45 points)
6. Trobs (45 points)
7. Smithers (45 points)
8. Modtastic (45 points)
9. Belgian Boys Club (45 points)
10. huffalotpuffalot (45 points)
11. taon24 (45 points)
12. SimonH (45 points)
13. Ron (45 points)
14. payaso (45 points)
15. Chuckk (45 points)
16. DaRCrider (45 points)
17. Mason (45 points)
18. roadslave525 (45 points)
19. G’phant (45 points)
20. xyxax (45 points)
21. MrLowell (45 points)
22. Paco (42 points)
23. Phil Schneider (42 points)
24. Bianchi Denti (41 points)
25. CanuckChuck (41 points)
26. MJ Moquin (41 points)
27. The Fish (41 points)
28. Skinnyphat (38 points)
29. wiscot (38 points)
30. Harry (38 points)
31. sar02 (38 points)
32. Rev.C.Mac (38 points)
33. ramenvelo (38 points)
34. nico (38 points)
35. meursault (38 points)
36. 936adl (38 points)
37. tony macaroni (38 points)
38. TomC (38 points)
39. VeloVita (38 points)
40. blue (38 points)
41. The Oracle (38 points)
42. Lepidopterist (38 points)
43. Roberto Marques (38 points)
44. JCS4 (38 points)
45. Azzurri Tim (38 points)
46. el gato (38 points)
47. ben (38 points)
48. Enoch (38 points)
49. Nic (38 points)
50. mcsqueak (38 points)
51. cal (38 points)
52. shep (38 points)
53. McTavish (38 points)
54. Gianni (38 points)
55. Mikel Pearce (38 points)
56. pink (35 points)
57. R00tdown (35 points)
58. Flying Crowbar (35 points)
59. tessar (35 points)
60. Oli (35 points)
61. mrdriftless (35 points)
62. TOM.NELS2120 (35 points)
63. Pirata with Pasta (35 points)
64. Ankush (35 points)
65. kowala (35 points)
66. Adrian (35 points)
67. Anais Ninja (35 points)
68. Vince (35 points)
69. razmaspaz (35 points)
70. Nosyt (35 points)
71. snoov (35 points)
72. al (35 points)
73. VirenqueForever (35 points)
74. Kyle (35 points)
75. Casey Arnold (35 points)
76. Steve Swift (35 points)
77. Jonny (35 points)
78. Papageno (35 points)
79. actor1 (35 points)
80. feef (35 points)
81. Blake (35 points)
82. Noel (35 points)
83. DerHoggz (35 points)
84. NRMontgomery (35 points)
85. Tartan1749 (35 points)
86. Mark1 (33 points)
87. motor city (33 points)
88. graham d.m. (33 points)
89. simonsaunders (26 points)
90. moondance (26 points)
91. Dr C (26 points)
92. Kedan (26 points)
93. Pablo Colletti (26 points)
94. sprider (26 points)
95. Geordi (26 points)
96. Ruskerdu (23 points)
97. J-hump (23 points)
98. Deakus (23 points)
99. Chris (23 points)
100. Eddie Bell (23 points)
101. Lindrop (23 points)
102. calves (23 points)
103. Chasquimorgan (23 points)
104. RedRanger (21 points)
105. itburns (21 points)
106. celestialdrive (21 points)
107. Don juan (21 points)
108. imakecircles (20 points)
109. roleur510 (20 points)
110. Marko (19 points)
111. Blah (19 points)
112. TraJoM (19 points)
113. ErikdR (18 points)
114. Nukatpiat (16 points)
115. napolinige (16 points)
116. mouse (16 points)
117. scaler911 (16 points)
118. versio (16 points)
119. VeloAU (16 points)
120. GProsser (16 points)
121. dancollins (16 points)
122. gaswepass (16 points)
123. RayElVis (16 points)
124. Skip (16 points)
125. PRbadlegs (16 points)
126. Markp (16 points)
127. Mike Honcho (16 points)
128. Jeff in PetroMetro (16 points)
129. drewPjohnson (16 points)
130. Painkiller (16 points)
131. DR5150 (16 points)
132. Lukas (15 points)
133. sthilzy (12 points)
134. Rigid (12 points)
135. gino (12 points)
136. Marcus (12 points)
137. Alex (12 points)
138. Daccordi Rider (9 points)
139. Chappy McPappystackings (9 points)
140. Minion (9 points)
141. american psycho (9 points)
142. Duende (9 points)
143. Mikael Liddy (9 points)
144. il ciclista medio (9 points)
145. Erik (9 points)
146. RMK (9 points)
147. anotherdownunder (9 points)
148. Anast Demitt (9 points)
149. seemunkee (9 points)
150. Nate (9 points)
151. velomihottie (9 points)
152. Rick (9 points)
153. Frank Ramos (9 points)
154. Tomislav (9 points)
155. Heihachi (9 points)
156. Belgian Cobblestones (9 points)
157. Dan_R (9 points)
158. Karl (9 points)
159. Jay (9 points)
160. Cchern (9 points)
161. ifurley (9 points)
162. Benny (9 points)
163. ChrisO (9 points)
164. Matt (9 points)
165. frank (6 points)
166. Giles (6 points)
167. Two Ball Billy (6 points)
168. eightzero (6 points)
169. Xyverz (6 points)
170. brett (6 points)
171. King Clydesdale (6 points)
172. ten B (6 points)
173. the Engine (6 points)
174. schmiken (6 points)
175. starclimber (6 points)
176. Tobin (6 points)
177. ralph (6 points)
178. LA Dave (6 points)
179. harminator (6 points)
180. Craig Chambers (6 points)
181. Lister (6 points)
182. brianc (6 points)
183. JC Belgium (6 points)
184. Souleur (6 points)
185. sean (6 points)
186. elrond (6 points)
187. Islandbike (6 points)
188. godsight (6 points)
189. pakrat (6 points)
190. Simon (6 points)
191. dunderleif (6 points)
192. Erik Olsen (6 points)
193. Kah (3 points)
194. noiyce (3 points)
195. Aidas (3 points)
196. Phil (3 points)
197. El Mateo (3 points)
198. sgt (3 points)
199. Bike Jonez (3 points)
200. Topcover (3 points)
201. Cyclops (0 points)
202. hammermama (0 points)
203. G’rilla (0 points)
204. Sauterelle (0 points)
@Marcus
Evans rides like he hate’s his bike’s guts and is trying to beat it to death with that gear of his; and Wiggins rides like hes go a stick up his ass. Evans won’t start a climb if he’s not over geared. He’s got an ugly syptle, but it’s a welcome change over all the spinning everywhere.
Froome rides beautifully, it seems. So does Nibbles, who is my dark horse favorite to win. He could go for a long one, no time like the Tour to make it stick!
No way is Murray going to win, by the by.
@frank
IPA oh yeah – one good thing we invented here
@frank
Almost, but not quite, worth flying the Atlantic for…
@the Engine
Gold, had me giggling at work, nice one.
@frank Murray is coming unraveled.
@Buck Rogers, @Steampunk, @RedRanger
Madiot was pulling a reverse Ron. That was awesome!
@RedRanger
I’d like to stand at onoffend of the court and just try to hit the ball back, in any direction. Can’t imagine how fast those fuckers are whipping around.
Federeereererer is toying with Murray. And tennis is almost as mystifying as cricket.
173rd – that’s more like it
@the Engine
yeah, bring me some water…..
@RedRanger
Its the only Ball sport I have ever followed, for about 20 years now. Roger is the equivelant to Eddy Merckx. Pure class and a genious.
After all these days of race I still don’t know if I like this Tour.
@Pedale.Forchetta
I think it will depend on the next week. If Wiggins puts a minute or two between him and Evans/Nibbles, then it will come down to an Indurain-Style Tour with Nibbles playing the part of Bugno and trying to break up the monotony. We’ll see, but so far I’ve enjoyed it – good racing and yesterday’s stage was awesome.
@meursault
Well if you’d all been paying attention to my alerts you’d have a socket set, some drill bits and a handy magnetic torch to go with them by now…
@meursault
Any particular brand?
Yes Frank, we’ll see.
@the Engine
What fb page is this ? cuz i like winning free stuff
@San Tonio
Lotto Belisol Cycling Team Fanpage