Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France 2012
We are proud to announce a change to the Velominati Super Prestige moving forward: sponsorship. We are delighted (if a little surprised) at the interest our partners showed in this endeavor, despite the short notice we gave them. Four sponsors will be gracing the sides of our team bus for this year’s race: fi’zi:k is our Super Domestique Sponsor (think Big George without the shoe covers because who’d want to cover those beauties up), while the leadout train is being rounded out by DeFeet, Pavé Cycling Classics, and Malteni Beer. As we all know, fizik gets a lot of love around here as the Contact Point Supplier, and for good reason. So we thought now is as good a time as any to announce that DeFeet has agreed to come on board as Flandrian Best Supplier, the Pavé boys, our trusted guides over the stones and bergs, and Malteni Biere which fills our bidon and keeps us making bad decisions like teaming up with the Pavé boys.
So what does Super Domestique Sponsor mean? Free shoes to the winners – that’s what it means, dillwhips. Free R3’s, yup the Aristocrats, to the three winners of the VSP: TdF GC Winner and the two Stage VSP’s. As you watch this year’s race, look for the likes of Jeremy Roy and Richie Porte riding the R3’s in complete Rule Compliance. As Leadout Sponsor, Defeet is providing a full Flandrian Best Kit including a base layer, Armskins, Kneekers, and Slipstream Belgian booties for the VSP: Tdf GC second place as well plus two pairs of D-Logo socks to each runner-up of the Stage VSP’s. The Pavé boys (also Leadout Sponsors) are putting up a limited Pavé Cycling Classics wool jersey awarded to third place. We can’t ship Malteni (also Leadout Sponsors) legally, so you’ll just have to wait until you’re in Belgium to guzzle some of that lovely nectar or join the Pavé boys for their Worlds Weekend tour with Johan Museeuw where they’ll get you stupid(er) on the stuff.
Gianni’s Ruminations
Finally, the date has arrived. We have all done our training through the winter, contested the Spring Classics, The Ardennes Races, Romandie, Oh the Giro, The Dauphine, Tour de Swiss. Not all were in the VSP schedule but I know most of you wrote down your picks for the others and tucked them under your pillows. It’s training. There has been time to taper down before Saturday’s prologue start in Liége, Belgium. A young neo-pro, The Fish, is leading in points. The hardened veterans have seen these youth come and go, the season is long. A touch of wheels, a moment of youthful idealism, Vladimir Karpets is picked to podium, The Fish goes down, he panics and by the time he is back up he will never see the front again. Or he will continue to mock us all with his astute choices and lead all the way to Lombardy.
I have staked my claim on the yellow kit ownership some time ago and still see this as an epic Cadel-Wiggo battle to the death and if not death, until one of them sits up. But this year might be the time the youth start to fill up the other three places in the top five.
The Shack’s team car has been crashing into every static object all spring and now Bruyneel has been yanked out of the driver’s seat. The ride can only get smoother but with the reluctant leader Frank Schleck staring at over 100km of prologue and time trialing, as was said in the bunker, they are going stage hunting. I could go on for hours about the 2012 TdF but we have other Keepers who need to vent.
Please check the VSP page for the rules, keep an eye on the awesome VSP countdown timer, don’t Delgado your picks. Here is the start list.
I have to give a shout out to a brave group of Velominati who are heading to the Vermont/Canadian border to draft behind a massive dump truck full of Awesome all the way to the Massachusetts state line. It’s a Cogal only deranged people would attempt and as luck would have it, we supply them here. I hope they get their picks in soon as they may be in no kind of shape on Friday to think about such important things.
Brett’s Misconceptions
It’s all about Fränk. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to hold him back. Deliberately sucking all year so far, crashing and quitting, a hint of form, Bruyneel slinks off to deflect attention (and suspicion), Fränk suddenly can time trial and a couple of Pharmy style attacks later he wins in Paris by two minutes, taking the sprint on the Champs Elysees for good measure. Maybe not the last bit. Fränk will, however, finish in lil bro’s favourite position. Or suddenly leave with a stomach bug.
Cadel will take this. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to worry about in the mountains. Deliberately almost sucking so far, but not. Hints of form, staying low, deflecting attention. Look after the time trials and command the mountains. Safe, not exciting. Or he’ll step on someone else’s dog, breaking his elbow and decapitating the dog.
Wiggo could take this. It’s perfect. A lot of form. A lot of km’s against the clock. Not too many big hills. Too tall socks. Cav left to fight alone. One bad day is waiting there though, the sort of bad day that not even winning the final TT by 2 minutes can alleviate. Or he’ll crash in the first week, breaking both elbows after getting a sideburn caught in his crazy bio pace chainrings.
Sagan will win the first twelve stages, then leave with a stomach bug. Gossy will gratefully step into the vacant green in the greatest heist since Gerro won San Remo. And the Rug Salesman will be all spotty, due to getting in a long break and not sucking as much as even he expected. That’ll help him to 5th and Zubeldia level evanescence.
None of this may actually come close to happening, but whatever does I hope it’s an exciting race. Good luck to those battling hard for three weeks in the VSP race too, it could just turn out to be the main point of interest a couple of weeks from now.
Marko’s Reckoning
The Fish loses two spots on the G.C. but manages to eek out a pair of R3s in a sub-VSP as G’phant peaks in le Grande Boucle and walks away with le Grande Bouprize. Sad thing is, G’phant is legend but nobody remembers him because he only shows for races, not group rides anymore. Fausto rides a calculated, if not boring, race to move up a spot but just misses out. Gianni gets a glimpse of the podium going into the 16th stage and the Tourmalet but drowns in a lactic acid and caffeine soaked bath in that stage’s VSP. Marko Delgados virtually the entire event while he continues building his family a house in direct violation of Rule #11, which is more than we can say for Brett and Frank who were last seen going in the opposite direction with Bruyneel in a Radiotreksanshack team car dragging a muffler through Liege on its way to a USADA hearing near Austin.
In the meantime, two dudes from the Commonwealth – one with sideburns approaching muttonchops and another with an ass on his chin – duel it out in France. There will be some Italian, Spanish, and Russian dudes there too in an epic the likes of which hasn’t been seen in years. Fuck Yeah people, Vive le Tour.
Frank’s Delusions
It happens every single time. I get all weepy-eyed about the Giro and how it’s the Velominatus’ choice for a Grand Tour. Less crazy, better terrain, a comparatively weaker field usually yielding a closer race. But come the Tour, I get all starstruck as the big names line up in the best form they could muster for the season.
I also had decided to pick Twiggo for the big win, but now I’m not so sure. I love that the guy is tall and can get over a mountain, but there is one irrefutable fact that I can’t get over. He looks much too much like Gianni’s avatar, only not as well-kept. The sardonic look on his face along with those whispy sideburns are just too much for me to take. I’m back to rolling with my heart and my questionable sensibilities to favor Grimpelder this time round, now that he’s out of the shadow of his little brother and will be able to put the swivelnecking energy into the pedals instead of looking behind him.
The good news is that the racing always winds up being awesome. And that’s what its about: panache. So long as Wiggo doesn’t pull an Indurain and take 6 minutes on an early TT, I’ll be happy.
Epilogue
Pick carefully, don’t Delgado, and think twice about those rest day swaps; they come at a heavy price and there are some nice prizes on the line which make the Velominati Shop Apron look like a Schleck’s chamois during the descent of the Peyresourde.
The Fine Print: each contestant is of course encouraged to enter all VSP events, but everyone is eligible to take the prizes on only one VSP. If a contestant takes more than one VSP event (GC or Stage) the prize for that VSP will then be awarded to the player with the next highest score. In the event of a tie we’ll do our best to find the fairest way to break the tie. If something doesn’t make sense, please ask; we’re making this up as we go along.
Get your picks in by the time the countdown clock goes to zero, and good luck. Vive le Tour.
@snoov
But they try their best to eke out small advantages. If I remember correctly, last year Tony Martin nearly crashed with an official car because he tried to draft off it as long as possible before passing it.
@Adrian
Theoretically, an arm fully covered by a material slicker than skin is an advantage. What the riders wear probably depends on the clothing supplier (Assos’ skinsuits have full-length arms and regular leg-length, for example) or the rider’s preference in terms of comfort (A competitive runner I know runs in loose, baggy shorts and shirts despite the disadvantage, because he doesn’t like the constrictive feel).
@Dr C
Ha I see what you mean but Nibbles is faster in the TT as well as being ahead of him on the course.
Glad it’s a rest day tomorrow, these late nights are killing me…..
Froome takes 22 second out of Cancellara.
Seems like way too much time difference from Faboo to Wiggo/Froome after the previous two stages.
Cadel – bad legs on?
As ugly as Evans is on the road bike, he is just picture perfect on the TT machine.
Scorcher from Froome.
Nibbles riding well as well. Awesome!
Froome…wow
Froomie is becoming quite the TT boy, after his efforts at Vuelta last year, now this – imagine if he puts more than 1.25 into Cuddles and Nibbles….
@tessar
Evidently some of the riders, Voekler being one of them, cut the sleeves of their skin suits for cooling purposes.
Latest I got….
@Dr C
Eurosport discussion saying that gap between Evans and Wiggins not growing.
Strike that, gap nearly at 2 mins.
Per CN, virtual GC puts Wiggo over Cadel at 1:46. Fuck. Me. In. The. Eyes.
We need to even the playing field. Give Bradley a toddler or an infant, something that creates germs. Cadel now has a little ankle biting germ monster. Bradley should have one as well.
I have one. I have a sore throat and a cold in July. Only seems fair. In fact, make every TdF rider play with a sticky fingered monster. Then they’d know the meaning of getting a cold.
Wow if Froome keeps riding this well will he obey orders and ride for Wiggins or attack and go for the overall GC on one of the climbs?
At the risk of sounding like a “wanker” “cunt,” really? Froome beats Cancellara at full gas and Wiggo has the best time at the time check?
I don’t want to foment animosity here, but, really? It is amazing. Truly amazing. I do so hope it is clean as a whistle.
Holy shit! Wiggins smashed it!
@Adrian I think Froome is the stronger of the two, but he’s not British born and bred. I think that is why Sky is backing Wiggins, they want an British winner.
(If I got British, English, and all the Scots and Irish with their dander up because of the “British” description, please advise. I was trying to get it right but can’t remember and the blood flow to my brain is affected by the summer cold.)
“I’m very happy with my performance,” Froome says. (per CN).
Well, my VSP is not.
Pretty extraordinary… it was more that Wiggins was outstanding than Evans being poor.
Usually being 50 seconds behind Cancellara would be a decent result.
@Erik
We’re happy over here with that – is Froome second on GC….? (only interested as I got Wiggo, Froome, JVDB and Nibbles as my top 4 on VSP…..
@Erik It may mean nothing more that faboo has found the last couple of days a bit harder on his legs than Wiggo and Froome. Or he’s not the tester he used to be.
Cuddles has a lot of work to do in the mountains to reel them in and build up a buffer for the next, longer ITT.
Fuck. Me !!! Wiggo taking nearly a minute out Spartacus ??? Un be lieve able !!! Still don’t like Wiggo but kind of up in my estimation since his shit, fuck, wanker, cunt outburst yesterday.
@Dr C
Ya, I bet he is REALLY lamenting the Stage One flat and 1:25 minute loss there right about now.
@Dr C Froome is in third according to CN. He needs to be in 4th.
Looking forward to some fucking mentalist descending stunts by Sagan and Nibbles in the big Montagne – sure the aim now is to make Wiggo and Froome crash/chicken out on the descents (not badly of course, just enough to slow them down a bit)
@ChrisO Generally my theory is not to make changes on the rest day. Based upon today’s TT, I may have to reconsider this strategy. Wiggins was outstanding.
@Erik
I think you have to remember that the British have been working on their cycling for a good few years now. Road World Champion and look at the track results, they’re pretty impressive as well. Sky have done a lot of R&D with regard to training and equipment which a lot of other teams haven’t matched, you have to take all that into account.
Froome only 14 seconds behind Cuddles !!! Sky are killing it.
Hell’s teeth that man can TT! How is Cuddles supposed to live with that?
With one rider out and my other two picks requiring telescopes to see the leaders I’m going to have to do some rest day changes.
Mind you – two British riders competing for podium places in the Tour – given that they are they are most certainly clean it’s me who appears to be hallucinating.
@snoov
Indeed. Sky and British Cycling have invested tremendously in R&D, equipment, and training. They are a force to be reckoned with anywhere there are two wheels rolling. I’m just sitting here slackjawed in my office after that result. Like I said, I don’t want to be a wanker. I believe they are clean. The leaps and bounds difference that the other teams now have to make up is simply incredible. Who has that kind of budget except Rupert Murdoch?
Incredible performance by team SKY with The Vroom-Vroom Twiggs going 1-2 on the stage. Dominated the first uphill finish and dominated the ITT. Cuddles has to start thinking about long-range attacks, as does Nibbles. Neither can wait for the last hill to make their move.
@936adl takes the VSP lead with @Sar02 and @Bianchi Denti rounding out the provisional podium.
Provisional Race Results
1. WIGGINS Bradley
2. EVANS Cadel
3. FROOME Christopher
4. NIBALI Vincenzo
5. MENCHOV Denis
Provisional VSP Standings
1. 936adl (52 points)
2. sar02 (48 points)
3. Bianchi Denti (48 points)
4. MJ Moquin (47 points)
5. blue (45 points)
6. The Fish (45 points)
7. McTavish (45 points)
8. Bill (43 points)
9. nico (42 points)
10. meursault (42 points)
11. tony macaroni (42 points)
12. The Oracle (42 points)
13. Lepidopterist (42 points)
14. JCS4 (42 points)
15. ben (42 points)
16. Enoch (42 points)
17. mcsqueak (42 points)
18. shep (42 points)
19. Gianni (42 points)
20. Trobs (41 points)
21. Fausto (41 points)
22. TomC (41 points)
23. SimonH (41 points)
24. Buck Rogers (41 points)
25. CanuckChuck (41 points)
26. xyxax (41 points)
27. Skinnyphat (40 points)
28. Nic (40 points)
29. Mikel Pearce (40 points)
30. wiscot (38 points)
31. Harry (38 points)
32. San Tonio (38 points)
33. R00tdown (38 points)
34. mrhallorann (38 points)
35. Smithers (38 points)
36. Paco (38 points)
37. Modtastic (38 points)
38. Rev.C.Mac (38 points)
39. ramenvelo (38 points)
40. Belgian Boys Club (38 points)
41. huffalotpuffalot (38 points)
42. kowala (38 points)
43. taon24 (38 points)
44. VeloVita (38 points)
45. Nosyt (38 points)
46. snoov (38 points)
47. al (38 points)
48. Ron (38 points)
49. payaso (38 points)
50. Roberto Marques (38 points)
51. Azzurri Tim (38 points)
52. el gato (38 points)
53. Chuckk (38 points)
54. DaRCrider (38 points)
55. cal (38 points)
56. Phil Schneider (38 points)
57. Mason (38 points)
58. roadslave525 (38 points)
59. G’phant (38 points)
60. MrLowell (38 points)
61. pink (35 points)
62. Flying Crowbar (35 points)
63. tessar (35 points)
64. Oli (35 points)
65. mrdriftless (35 points)
66. TOM.NELS2120 (35 points)
67. Pirata with Pasta (35 points)
68. Ankush (35 points)
69. Adrian (35 points)
70. Anais Ninja (35 points)
71. Vince (35 points)
72. razmaspaz (35 points)
73. VirenqueForever (35 points)
74. Kyle (35 points)
75. Casey Arnold (35 points)
76. Steve Swift (35 points)
77. Jonny (35 points)
78. Papageno (35 points)
79. actor1 (35 points)
80. feef (35 points)
81. Blake (35 points)
82. Noel (35 points)
83. DerHoggz (35 points)
84. NRMontgomery (35 points)
85. Tartan1749 (35 points)
86. Dr C (33 points)
87. simonsaunders (30 points)
88. Pablo Colletti (30 points)
89. Mark1 (29 points)
90. Kedan (29 points)
91. graham d.m. (29 points)
92. Geordi (29 points)
93. moondance (26 points)
94. Chris (26 points)
95. Lindrop (26 points)
96. motor city (26 points)
97. sprider (26 points)
98. Ruskerdu (25 points)
99. J-hump (23 points)
100. Deakus (23 points)
101. Eddie Bell (23 points)
102. calves (23 points)
103. RedRanger (21 points)
104. itburns (21 points)
105. celestialdrive (21 points)
106. Don juan (21 points)
107. imakecircles (20 points)
108. roleur510 (20 points)
109. Marcus (18 points)
110. ErikdR (18 points)
111. Alex (18 points)
112. sthilzy (16 points)
113. gino (16 points)
114. Lukas (15 points)
115. Marko (14 points)
116. Blah (14 points)
117. TraJoM (14 points)
118. Chappy McPappystackings (13 points)
119. Mikael Liddy (13 points)
120. il ciclista medio (13 points)
121. anotherdownunder (13 points)
122. velomihottie (13 points)
123. Rick (13 points)
124. Heihachi (13 points)
125. Belgian Cobblestones (13 points)
126. Dan_R (13 points)
127. Benny (13 points)
128. ChrisO (13 points)
129. Matt (13 points)
130. Rigid (12 points)
131. gaswepass (12 points)
132. Chasquimorgan (12 points)
133. DR5150 (12 points)
134. Karl (11 points)
135. Cchern (11 points)
136. Nukatpiat (9 points)
137. Daccordi Rider (9 points)
138. napolinige (9 points)
139. mouse (9 points)
140. Minion (9 points)
141. scaler911 (9 points)
142. american psycho (9 points)
143. Duende (9 points)
144. versio (9 points)
145. Erik (9 points)
146. RMK (9 points)
147. VeloAU (9 points)
148. GProsser (9 points)
149. Anast Demitt (9 points)
150. seemunkee (9 points)
151. Nate (9 points)
152. dancollins (9 points)
153. RayElVis (9 points)
154. Frank Ramos (9 points)
155. Tomislav (9 points)
156. Skip (9 points)
157. PRbadlegs (9 points)
158. Markp (9 points)
159. Mike Honcho (9 points)
160. Jay (9 points)
161. ifurley (9 points)
162. Jeff in PetroMetro (9 points)
163. drewPjohnson (9 points)
164. Painkiller (9 points)
165. Erik Olsen (9 points)
166. frank (6 points)
167. Giles (6 points)
168. Two Ball Billy (6 points)
169. eightzero (6 points)
170. Xyverz (6 points)
171. brett (6 points)
172. King Clydesdale (6 points)
173. ten B (6 points)
174. the Engine (6 points)
175. Phil (6 points)
176. schmiken (6 points)
177. starclimber (6 points)
178. Tobin (6 points)
179. ralph (6 points)
180. LA Dave (6 points)
181. harminator (6 points)
182. Craig Chambers (6 points)
183. Lister (6 points)
184. brianc (6 points)
185. JC Belgium (6 points)
186. Souleur (6 points)
187. sean (6 points)
188. elrond (6 points)
189. Islandbike (6 points)
190. godsight (6 points)
191. pakrat (6 points)
192. Simon (6 points)
193. dunderleif (6 points)
194. Kah (3 points)
195. noiyce (3 points)
196. Aidas (3 points)
197. El Mateo (3 points)
198. sgt (3 points)
199. Bike Jonez (3 points)
200. Topcover (3 points)
201. Cyclops (0 points)
202. hammermama (0 points)
203. G’rilla (0 points)
204. Sauterelle (0 points)
@frank
Just got a response from Graeme Obree’s manager, what’s the email to forward it to?
Well then. Rest day swap a-comin’!
Am I right in predicting that we’re going to see some mad descending from Nibali and Evans on Tuesday? Practically a downhill finish. They nearly had Froome into the railing the other day might be their best chance.
@napolinige
No, you’re wrong. We’ll see them on Wednesday.
@Dr C Oops didn’t see your post Doc! It’s going be heartstopping stuff I can’t wait.
@Buck Rogers Indeed! Why did I think it was Sunday? Must have been because I blew off work to stay at the beach and go for another ride down the Cilento Coast!
I don’t get why anyone would be so surprised at Wiggo or Cancellara’s respective results, but Froome went pretty well innit. Impressed as hell by Van Garderen too.
@RedRanger It’s already in the footnote.
@minion
SOLID. FUCKING. GOLD.
@frank
Dammit, I was going to suggest Froome Froome as a lexicon entry.
Froome Froome // Lightweight motor to be attached to the front of Twiggo’s bike to aid uphill performance. Unreliable, tends to be too fast over the last few hundred metres. Also handy for time trialling.
@meursault
Interesting observation by Vökler that its the race radios that cause the crash – all the DS’s in unison yelling at their riders to get to the front.
On the other hand, the observation that so-and-so was putting Petacchi’s shoe covers in his pocket and not being able to brake properly more truly speaks to it. These guys are way too willing to ride in uncontrolled positions while in the bunch. I’ve seen Faboo riding in the Phantom Aerobars while sitting in, which is massively Casual Deliberate, but also obnoxiously cavalier if you ask me.
@Dr C
Yes, Indurain did it five times.
@Dr C
Are we talking TdF Rule #5 Award or season-long V-Moment of the Year?
I’d say The Gorilla taking second with a dislocated shoulder that he reset himself is most in line with the awards given in previous years.
That TT really buggered my VSP. Rrally wanted those shoes. When is that Stage VSP?
@Chris
alt:- Va Va Froome //
@Erik
The last rider to make a huge improvement going from also-ran to Tour Contender in one season and the credit advantages gained through R&D was Bjarne Riis. When asked how he improved so much so suddenly, he said he got himself a power crank and used it to improve his pedaling technique. He neglected to mention the added effect of the improved stroke along with his healthy dosages of EPO.
Regarding the table tossing,
Sad as it is, if Wiggo thinks we’re at a place where we take clean racing for granted, he’s out of his mind. Especially with new drugs being on the market that we know are undetectable in tests.
WIth his team’s (particularly Froome and his own) performance, it is only natural that we’re asking questions. Maybe they’re clean and I hope they are, but he’s in the lime light and part of that means he’s got to help restore the credibility of the sport – he has to prove he’s clean and he has to do more than pass drug tests because they are at this stage known to be ineffective.
It comes with the territory; for anyone paying attention, unfortunately these riders are not innocent until proven guilty.
@frank
Race radios? Nice to see (hear) Marc Madiot doing manager-rider communications the old-school way yesterday.
@Marcus
Yeah the mass market beef is like that here; fortunately I’ve got a great butcher in my neighborhood who sells cuts off whole, grass fed animals.
@wiscot Indeed.
@Chris
Nice one.
@meursault
You too.
With Sanchez crashing out and Schleck so far back, this is as high as I’m likely to go with the VSP and my current picks, with Wiggo at first, Cadel in second, and Nibbles in 4th.