Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France 2012
We are proud to announce a change to the Velominati Super Prestige moving forward: sponsorship. We are delighted (if a little surprised) at the interest our partners showed in this endeavor, despite the short notice we gave them. Four sponsors will be gracing the sides of our team bus for this year’s race: fi’zi:k is our Super Domestique Sponsor (think Big George without the shoe covers because who’d want to cover those beauties up), while the leadout train is being rounded out by DeFeet, Pavé Cycling Classics, and Malteni Beer. As we all know, fizik gets a lot of love around here as the Contact Point Supplier, and for good reason. So we thought now is as good a time as any to announce that DeFeet has agreed to come on board as Flandrian Best Supplier, the Pavé boys, our trusted guides over the stones and bergs, and Malteni Biere which fills our bidon and keeps us making bad decisions like teaming up with the Pavé boys.
So what does Super Domestique Sponsor mean? Free shoes to the winners – that’s what it means, dillwhips. Free R3’s, yup the Aristocrats, to the three winners of the VSP: TdF GC Winner and the two Stage VSP’s. As you watch this year’s race, look for the likes of Jeremy Roy and Richie Porte riding the R3’s in complete Rule Compliance. As Leadout Sponsor, Defeet is providing a full Flandrian Best Kit including a base layer, Armskins, Kneekers, and Slipstream Belgian booties for the VSP: Tdf GC second place as well plus two pairs of D-Logo socks to each runner-up of the Stage VSP’s. The Pavé boys (also Leadout Sponsors) are putting up a limited Pavé Cycling Classics wool jersey awarded to third place. We can’t ship Malteni (also Leadout Sponsors) legally, so you’ll just have to wait until you’re in Belgium to guzzle some of that lovely nectar or join the Pavé boys for their Worlds Weekend tour with Johan Museeuw where they’ll get you stupid(er) on the stuff.
Gianni’s Ruminations
Finally, the date has arrived. We have all done our training through the winter, contested the Spring Classics, The Ardennes Races, Romandie, Oh the Giro, The Dauphine, Tour de Swiss. Not all were in the VSP schedule but I know most of you wrote down your picks for the others and tucked them under your pillows. It’s training. There has been time to taper down before Saturday’s prologue start in Liége, Belgium. A young neo-pro, The Fish, is leading in points. The hardened veterans have seen these youth come and go, the season is long. A touch of wheels, a moment of youthful idealism, Vladimir Karpets is picked to podium, The Fish goes down, he panics and by the time he is back up he will never see the front again. Or he will continue to mock us all with his astute choices and lead all the way to Lombardy.
I have staked my claim on the yellow kit ownership some time ago and still see this as an epic Cadel-Wiggo battle to the death and if not death, until one of them sits up. But this year might be the time the youth start to fill up the other three places in the top five.
The Shack’s team car has been crashing into every static object all spring and now Bruyneel has been yanked out of the driver’s seat. The ride can only get smoother but with the reluctant leader Frank Schleck staring at over 100km of prologue and time trialing, as was said in the bunker, they are going stage hunting. I could go on for hours about the 2012 TdF but we have other Keepers who need to vent.
Please check the VSP page for the rules, keep an eye on the awesome VSP countdown timer, don’t Delgado your picks. Here is the start list.
I have to give a shout out to a brave group of Velominati who are heading to the Vermont/Canadian border to draft behind a massive dump truck full of Awesome all the way to the Massachusetts state line. It’s a Cogal only deranged people would attempt and as luck would have it, we supply them here. I hope they get their picks in soon as they may be in no kind of shape on Friday to think about such important things.
Brett’s Misconceptions
It’s all about Fränk. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to hold him back. Deliberately sucking all year so far, crashing and quitting, a hint of form, Bruyneel slinks off to deflect attention (and suspicion), Fränk suddenly can time trial and a couple of Pharmy style attacks later he wins in Paris by two minutes, taking the sprint on the Champs Elysees for good measure. Maybe not the last bit. Fränk will, however, finish in lil bro’s favourite position. Or suddenly leave with a stomach bug.
Cadel will take this. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to worry about in the mountains. Deliberately almost sucking so far, but not. Hints of form, staying low, deflecting attention. Look after the time trials and command the mountains. Safe, not exciting. Or he’ll step on someone else’s dog, breaking his elbow and decapitating the dog.
Wiggo could take this. It’s perfect. A lot of form. A lot of km’s against the clock. Not too many big hills. Too tall socks. Cav left to fight alone. One bad day is waiting there though, the sort of bad day that not even winning the final TT by 2 minutes can alleviate. Or he’ll crash in the first week, breaking both elbows after getting a sideburn caught in his crazy bio pace chainrings.
Sagan will win the first twelve stages, then leave with a stomach bug. Gossy will gratefully step into the vacant green in the greatest heist since Gerro won San Remo. And the Rug Salesman will be all spotty, due to getting in a long break and not sucking as much as even he expected. That’ll help him to 5th and Zubeldia level evanescence.
None of this may actually come close to happening, but whatever does I hope it’s an exciting race. Good luck to those battling hard for three weeks in the VSP race too, it could just turn out to be the main point of interest a couple of weeks from now.
Marko’s Reckoning
The Fish loses two spots on the G.C. but manages to eek out a pair of R3s in a sub-VSP as G’phant peaks in le Grande Boucle and walks away with le Grande Bouprize. Sad thing is, G’phant is legend but nobody remembers him because he only shows for races, not group rides anymore. Fausto rides a calculated, if not boring, race to move up a spot but just misses out. Gianni gets a glimpse of the podium going into the 16th stage and the Tourmalet but drowns in a lactic acid and caffeine soaked bath in that stage’s VSP. Marko Delgados virtually the entire event while he continues building his family a house in direct violation of Rule #11, which is more than we can say for Brett and Frank who were last seen going in the opposite direction with Bruyneel in a Radiotreksanshack team car dragging a muffler through Liege on its way to a USADA hearing near Austin.
In the meantime, two dudes from the Commonwealth – one with sideburns approaching muttonchops and another with an ass on his chin – duel it out in France. There will be some Italian, Spanish, and Russian dudes there too in an epic the likes of which hasn’t been seen in years. Fuck Yeah people, Vive le Tour.
Frank’s Delusions
It happens every single time. I get all weepy-eyed about the Giro and how it’s the Velominatus’ choice for a Grand Tour. Less crazy, better terrain, a comparatively weaker field usually yielding a closer race. But come the Tour, I get all starstruck as the big names line up in the best form they could muster for the season.
I also had decided to pick Twiggo for the big win, but now I’m not so sure. I love that the guy is tall and can get over a mountain, but there is one irrefutable fact that I can’t get over. He looks much too much like Gianni’s avatar, only not as well-kept. The sardonic look on his face along with those whispy sideburns are just too much for me to take. I’m back to rolling with my heart and my questionable sensibilities to favor Grimpelder this time round, now that he’s out of the shadow of his little brother and will be able to put the swivelnecking energy into the pedals instead of looking behind him.
The good news is that the racing always winds up being awesome. And that’s what its about: panache. So long as Wiggo doesn’t pull an Indurain and take 6 minutes on an early TT, I’ll be happy.
Epilogue
Pick carefully, don’t Delgado, and think twice about those rest day swaps; they come at a heavy price and there are some nice prizes on the line which make the Velominati Shop Apron look like a Schleck’s chamois during the descent of the Peyresourde.
The Fine Print: each contestant is of course encouraged to enter all VSP events, but everyone is eligible to take the prizes on only one VSP. If a contestant takes more than one VSP event (GC or Stage) the prize for that VSP will then be awarded to the player with the next highest score. In the event of a tie we’ll do our best to find the fairest way to break the tie. If something doesn’t make sense, please ask; we’re making this up as we go along.
Get your picks in by the time the countdown clock goes to zero, and good luck. Vive le Tour.
@Adrian
now that is who I am stunned by…the kid is awesome! probably because i should have paid attention before now, but the dude is the real deal
he needs to eat a steak, as he is lean, but the guy has guts
i feel rest day swap coming!!
@Dr C
No. In fact, I’d imagine it’s hard to win bike races, period, without an oversized ego. Some just display theirs more than others.
So when do the Olympics start?
Is it time for somefrom to start whispering in Froome’s ear that he would have a Vuelta on his palmares if it wasn’t for Wanker Cunt Wiggins? Does he want to risk a Tour when he is clearly the better GC rider?
Yes there is a typo up there – shld be someone – but this wanker cunt site sometimes doesn’t let u go back into your post with iPhone.
So if u thought u could beat your team leader and win a Tour what would you do? PS. Don’t answer this if you are French.
@frank
Oh come on, I’m as suspicious as anyone but that’s wrong on so many levels.
First the assertion that Riis went from also-ran to Tour Contender in one season is a mistaken premise – Riis had podiumed and been 5th in previous tours and won stages in the Tour and Giro.
Having said that Wiggins has a much better palmares than Riis was coming from. Fourth in the tour with Garmin (generally considered chemically unimpeachable), twice winner of the Dauphine. Plus a sackload of gold medals on the track going back more than 10 years. Which is not an argument that he should therefore win on the road, but evidence that he has a long record (track record even) of being a world class athlete.
And finally I think you are wrong in asserting that Wiggins was reacting because he thinks it should be taken for granted that the sport is clean. He was reacting to a stupid question, from a reporter too cowardly to ask it outright, so they phrase the question in terms of “People say that… “. Wiggins’ comments were largely aimed at people who tweet and gossip about things without any detailed knowledge, and there are people who have made little twitter names for themselves like that, with an endless line of sarcasm and scepticism.
You have to also ask whether a post-stage press conference is the place to be asking those sort of questions. The main object is to wind up the interviewee, not gain any insight or information. Ask about the race, the competition, the stage, the decisive moves – it’s not the time or the place to be making vague and completely unsourced accusations.
@ChrisO
Thanx ChrisO. And with that (what he said), I am not concerned with doping, only focused on riding 51.5kms in the heat today in 1.5hrs or less. And will make changes with TdF picks on Tuesday regardless of any penalty. Just want to see Wiggins do it and call the rest correctly.
So many amazing stories in todays stage.
Wiggins already putting his foot on the throat of this tour, I know there are a lot of miles left and anything can happen, but sure looks like his tour to lose.
Froome showing that he’s possibly ready to lead his own team… and I still think he might be the strongest rider on sky…
Nibali pulling out a beast of a TT, look out Cadel!
Menchov showing he’s still got something left in the tank…
…Levi showing he doesn’t.
Monfort and Zubeldia showing well for Radioschleck, who does the team ride for? Who cares?
My favorite performance of the day was Martin putting in an amazing ride despite a broken hand and a mechanical. Rule #5 represented in spades there.
Can’t wait for the mountains. My VSP is hoping for some redemption for Cadel and Van Den Broeck… but I’m not holding my breath.
@Marcus
Or Irish (Roche). Or American (Eggtimer).
Is there any scenario under which swapping out a rider in the bottom 3 (3rd, 4th, 5th) can net you any points at all? I don’ think so, but I want to be sure. Even moving Evans from 2nd to 3rd at this point would be counter productive, as it would take 20 pts to potentially get 25, and I don’t think Evans will fall out of the top 5.
@razmaspaz
You aren’t actually using math to figure this out, are you?
Watching Wiggo in the TT demonstrates for me why the TT is referred to as a discipline.
@ChrisO
Now you’re just making things up and interpreting things to suit your argument. Wiggo’s and Riis’s ascension are nearly identical on the road. Track racing is irrelevant in this discussion. In the span of three years, he went from weeping at the side of the road because the bunch wouldn’t chase him to being a Tour contender. Just like Riis.
My point is, how many times have we heard this line told? I’m the clean rider! I can be trusted! I’ve passed the tests! I don’t know the identities of the twitterati to whom they’re referring, but we’ve been bitten enough times to be skeptical.
All that aside, it doesn’t matter to me; I’m not racing against these guys and they’re putting on a good show. I do, however much it cracked me up to hear him use that language in a press conference, believe he should behave professionally and responsibly, and to call doubters cunts is simply unreasonable and disrespectful to the cycling public. We’ve been through a lot and we’re still here, loyally waiting for things to get better. He should respect that; if we all turned tail and left, there’d not be much commercial value left in what he’s doing.
He’s not living under a rock, he knows exactly where these questions are coming from.
As a matter of interest, the GT records read almost identically – in fact, you could argue Riis’s record is more gradual than Wiggo’s:
Wiggo:
Riis:
@razmaspaz
Its the first rest day, so the penalty is only 5 points per swap. That effectively means 10 points if you are shuffling the top five, but if you’re just bringing someone new in, its 5 points. Penalty jumps to 10 points per on the second rest day.
Go ahead and do the math, but I’ve found it helpful to use the right numbers when making calculations.
@frank
What he said.
@frank I’m with you.
@frank
But know that any rest day swaps are a sign of weakness. Go down with the damn ship, I say. Why did I pick VDV for 3rd place? Insanity. Would I put Froomy in there? Fuck no.
I haven’t seen today’s stage but for Froome to beat Fabooo? Fabs must have said fuck it, I’m riding for the Shack, we totally suck. Our so called team leader is a tosser, our back up team leader is going backward like a ’80s East Germany Skoda and our former DS is going to jail.
@Gianni
Gold! Tosser, Skoda, and jail all in one sentence. Beautiful.
No way yall. I’m totally swapping in Froome tomorrow It’ll be worth it when he finishes in 4th place.
@frank
If I got a vsp point for every time I had done perfect math on the wrong numbers, I would be the owner of a beautiful pair of Italian shoes.
Ok, I’m gonna stir up a hornet’s nest here, but I’m going to make a couple of rest day swaps. I understand the penalties. However, my man Sammy Sanchez is out through no fault of his own yet I’ll incur a penalty. If he was busted for eating a shed load of shitty Spanish beef and kicked out I get a free swap. Shouldn’t it be the other way round? If you pick a doper and he’s caught should be a penalty. Fucked up because some dick can’t ride properly shouldn’t be a penalty.
This is no way to treat THE WORLD CHAMP
@Chipomarc
What about this?
@Nate Cav should not have gone back to the car. Too bad about those stupid race radios.
@frank
I think the way they went about suggesting, by saying “Sky looks like US Postal.” was the problem. Such a stupid, underhanded way of saying something without saying it.
I figured Wiggo would take some time, but goodness is Cadel back there. After the prologue Cadel said something like, “I’ll do better in the long ones.” Nope.
@Chipomarc
I hope he’s got UK to Europe adaptor.
@frank
I suppose you want to tell us when was JV the leader at Team CSC?
The journalists should be as professional as the riders.Do you think cycling public is more offended by a word cunt or their dumb as fuck questions?
If I was a sprinter, relying on Wiggo and Froome to get me to the finish in the front of the bunch at the Olympics, I’d go back and get the bottles
Chaps, we’ve given the swearing a good work out, what about we give it a break and pop it back in the cupboard for another occasion – I’ve been telling folk what a jolly site this is – first impressions here might be a bit negative
Just saying….
@TommyTubolare
Hear, hear! I think Wiggo was pissed because it seems like too many dumb fucks manage to get press passes for the tour and ask what are frankly, stupid and insulting questions to the riders. Wiggo has trained with laser-like focus on this race. He spurned conventional wisdom and is showing the benefits of doing so. Was Wiggo astounding today? Yes. He is a master of the TT. Look at that position and his style and form. Perfection honed on the road and the wind tunnel. Some lazy cunt who hides behind innuendo and Twatter and makes some insulting insinuation deserves what he gets in reply.
As has been commented on here before, cycling is still treated by many news organizations as some diletante sport and assigned to whatever tosser wants a free three week holiday in France. They know nothing, care less and show it with stupid questions and erroneous analysis. In the UK, we were/ae spoilt by Phil and Paul. In the US we used to get John Tesh and Armin Ketayin (sp?). Really? Would the same level of incompetence get foisted on the NBA, NFL or MLB? “So LeBron, you just won an NBA championship? Why didn’t you win one while you were in Cleveland?” “Hey Tiger, do you play better when you’re getting lots of extra-marital pussy/”
Rant over. Sorry. I really think Wiggo’s clean. Same for Froome and Cav and Eisel etc.
@Dr C
Sorry Doc. I posted while you were posting your comment. I shall say no more . . .
@wiscot
That’s just bad luck, for you and Sammy… he can’t be replaced by another rider in the race, so at least you get to put someone in with a small penalty.
@TommyTubolare
You’re dumb as fuck if you think asking a question about doping should be left alone, and that a professional sportsman should be commended for calling the fans, without whom he would be unemployed, a bunch of wankers and cunts. His reaction is typical of someone who has contempt for the sport and it’s fans. If he was so anti-doping he would’ve said something like “I’m not surprised people have doubts after all that’s gone on in the last 20 years, but I’m here to win the Tour clean and restore the fans’ faith.” But instead he acted like a COTHO. Wanker.
@Dr C
Agreed… but isn’t that the case if you’ve told someone what a great sport cycling is, and how cool the Tour is, and then they see Wiggo being a dick in a press conference? He’s definitely not helping the image of the sport in the general public’s eye.
Fuck me, beast of a ride by Wiggo (yeah I know we are behind here is Aus, I just watched last nights stage with breakfast). Then he did an interview and didn’t call anyone a carnt that I could tell.
This should be great, the rest now have to attack and try and kill the Sky train, bang, bang bang. Bring on the hills!
@wiscot
I have Sanchez as well, really bummed for him, thought he might make some noise in the mountains. Hadn’t really thought about the free swaps for picking a doper, but rules is rules I reckon.
Going to get a nice headache trying to figure out what to do with my rest day swaps. Decisions, Decisions…
@TommyTubolare
I’d love to jump with you on this one, but you’ve lost me completely. This is in response to my feedback regarding VSP penalties…
True enough, but that’s a totally different matter. I don’t believe he was calling the journos cunts; he was referring to people who question wether he is doped. The whole bit about people who question whether he is doped are people who don’t know what it means to work towards something and that its possible to race the Tour clean. Then calling them cunts.
Dumbass questions aside, I certainly know what its like to work towards something but I have no clue if you can ride the Tour clean and I definitely wonder if he isn’t doped. On the other hand, I’m a loyal fan of the sport and I think chucking me and others into the cunt bucket is very disrespectful. (I don’t doubt, by the way, that he has worked his ass off completely. With drugs or without, what he’s doing takes complete dedication and commitment.)
@frank http://www.vulpine.cc/Blog/grassroots-racing/the-impossibility-of-innocence-and-the-cancer-of-doubt
@wiscot
Shit happens in a bike race. From the VSP 2012 Announcement Article:
No one cares about these things until they wind up at the short end of it. Tough potatoes, mate.
@ChrisO Nice one.
@Gianni
YES! Only wankers swap out on rest days. Dance with whom you brought, BABY. No one gets replaced in the tdf fior any reason so we should not be able to as well.
Just sayin’.
Am looking forward to hearing from Paul Kimmage at some stage on Wiggins’ improvement this year – it does fit the profile of a doper and given the sports history… well you know the rest.
Now some may see this as sour grapes from a Cadelophile, but Wiggins’ year (presuming he maintains this form at the Tour and wins) will be an extraordinary one – both in terms of professional cycling history and to a far greater extent, his own cycling history. This is when alarm bells go off.
Take a look at his palmares – he has never, NEVER, won a Grand Tour TT before (Giro prologue doesnt count). In fact, prior to this year, his TT victories have only been in very much lesser races. To put almost a minute into Cancellara in a TT straight after two hard mountain days (the second one of which Cance presumably took it a little easy) is a pretty noteworthy performance. Unfortunately, huge improvements in a 32 yo raise doubts.
Now it may be that this whole year of cycling has been relatively poor in terms of quality GC riders (no Contador, no Schlecks) – and that may be an answer. But I would love to see some of Wiggins power data comparing this year’s levels to previous years…
They should send Kimmage into one of Wiggo’s press conferences (I think Wiggo has bagged him before) to show how a hard journo can ask a question (and act like a cunt?).
And by the way, what has happened to Cobo this year? Could be on the way to being one of the great evanescents.
@Marcus
I bet he was looking forward to cruising to another Vuelta triumph, until Contador and Andy entered. Now I bet he is frantically “adjustng his training”.
By the way, any suspicions I might have (I don’t really – but the circumstances are there) will be completely removed if Wiggo has a jour sans and Cadel wins. Regardless, the final climb/descent on Wednesday will be worth watching. Evans and Nibali (Cuddles is even better at descending than Vincenzo) will have to throw the kitchen sink at Wiggins. And that means massive risks will be taken.
Dunno about Froome’s descending skills, but being a former MTB’er I presume he goes ok?
Praying for rain.
@Marcus
Word. They will have to go completely bonkers.
Its actually kind of fun watching a tour where the riders I like are out of contention. I don’t actually really care what happens. And you talking about how hard it is to be a Cadel Fanboy, just imagine how hard it is being a Schleck Fanboy, and I’ve been doing that stubbornly since 2008 or so. With zero success.
Vroome-Vroome almost went down after overcooking a corner yesterday. I suspect Wiggo goes down a bit better than a Schleck, but with less complaining and slightly more speed. Could be interesting.
A cynical lexicon entry for 2015:
Team Skylab: a team with out-of-this-world results that eventually comes crashing back to Earth once testing protocols catch up with past nefarious, laboratory-derived practises.
Gotta say I boffoed the picks based on team strength. Sky brought the stronger team.
@Buck Rogers
I was really deciding if I should swap hesjedal, but it’s such a crapshoot at the bottom thati it is better to take the goose egg in the spot than try to guess at something for a 2 point bump.
@frank Schleck fan? You don’t take the easy route do you. Or are you being wilfully contrary? It’s time for answers Frank.
And here’s where the Cougar analogy comes back in. The overexposed old French tart generates storms in teacups (Wiggles could have gone on twitter and called them all C**ts during another race and avoided all the bruhaha) and from here you’re going to see a ruthless display by Sky planned down to the smallest detail, akin to the 40 year old mortgage broker in the nightclub with the fancy shirt and $400 jeans. BORING.
FWIW I don’t reckon Wiggles has been doping, his improvement riding for Sky seems analogous to Cuddles getting better after joining BMC. Cobo, yes, Wiggles no. If you were going to get suspicious the time would have been after he lost the Vuelta.
@Buck Rogers
So you must have been considered an extreme [wang-ker] in VSPs gone past. Pontificating to no end.
@Marcus
Been saying the same thing for a while. We all saw him come around to beat Evans on Saturday AFTER pulling the lot of them up the last few k of the hill. Wiggins was strong to hold on to Evans wheel but Froome was gone. I can’t imagine he couldn’t have left the entire group a bit earlier and gained more than the 35 seconds he lost today…which is amazing in it’s own right. . Even in Sundays stage, he rolled in with the chase group and looked pretty fresh…
He has to be thinking it, and I can’t imagine he doesn’t have a few friends on the team who aren’t whispering the same thing in his ear.