Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France 2012
We are proud to announce a change to the Velominati Super Prestige moving forward: sponsorship. We are delighted (if a little surprised) at the interest our partners showed in this endeavor, despite the short notice we gave them. Four sponsors will be gracing the sides of our team bus for this year’s race: fi’zi:k is our Super Domestique Sponsor (think Big George without the shoe covers because who’d want to cover those beauties up), while the leadout train is being rounded out by DeFeet, Pavé Cycling Classics, and Malteni Beer. As we all know, fizik gets a lot of love around here as the Contact Point Supplier, and for good reason. So we thought now is as good a time as any to announce that DeFeet has agreed to come on board as Flandrian Best Supplier, the Pavé boys, our trusted guides over the stones and bergs, and Malteni Biere which fills our bidon and keeps us making bad decisions like teaming up with the Pavé boys.
So what does Super Domestique Sponsor mean? Free shoes to the winners – that’s what it means, dillwhips. Free R3’s, yup the Aristocrats, to the three winners of the VSP: TdF GC Winner and the two Stage VSP’s. As you watch this year’s race, look for the likes of Jeremy Roy and Richie Porte riding the R3’s in complete Rule Compliance. As Leadout Sponsor, Defeet is providing a full Flandrian Best Kit including a base layer, Armskins, Kneekers, and Slipstream Belgian booties for the VSP: Tdf GC second place as well plus two pairs of D-Logo socks to each runner-up of the Stage VSP’s. The Pavé boys (also Leadout Sponsors) are putting up a limited Pavé Cycling Classics wool jersey awarded to third place. We can’t ship Malteni (also Leadout Sponsors) legally, so you’ll just have to wait until you’re in Belgium to guzzle some of that lovely nectar or join the Pavé boys for their Worlds Weekend tour with Johan Museeuw where they’ll get you stupid(er) on the stuff.
Gianni’s Ruminations
Finally, the date has arrived. We have all done our training through the winter, contested the Spring Classics, The Ardennes Races, Romandie, Oh the Giro, The Dauphine, Tour de Swiss. Not all were in the VSP schedule but I know most of you wrote down your picks for the others and tucked them under your pillows. It’s training. There has been time to taper down before Saturday’s prologue start in Liége, Belgium. A young neo-pro, The Fish, is leading in points. The hardened veterans have seen these youth come and go, the season is long. A touch of wheels, a moment of youthful idealism, Vladimir Karpets is picked to podium, The Fish goes down, he panics and by the time he is back up he will never see the front again. Or he will continue to mock us all with his astute choices and lead all the way to Lombardy.
I have staked my claim on the yellow kit ownership some time ago and still see this as an epic Cadel-Wiggo battle to the death and if not death, until one of them sits up. But this year might be the time the youth start to fill up the other three places in the top five.
The Shack’s team car has been crashing into every static object all spring and now Bruyneel has been yanked out of the driver’s seat. The ride can only get smoother but with the reluctant leader Frank Schleck staring at over 100km of prologue and time trialing, as was said in the bunker, they are going stage hunting. I could go on for hours about the 2012 TdF but we have other Keepers who need to vent.
Please check the VSP page for the rules, keep an eye on the awesome VSP countdown timer, don’t Delgado your picks. Here is the start list.
I have to give a shout out to a brave group of Velominati who are heading to the Vermont/Canadian border to draft behind a massive dump truck full of Awesome all the way to the Massachusetts state line. It’s a Cogal only deranged people would attempt and as luck would have it, we supply them here. I hope they get their picks in soon as they may be in no kind of shape on Friday to think about such important things.
Brett’s Misconceptions
It’s all about Fränk. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to hold him back. Deliberately sucking all year so far, crashing and quitting, a hint of form, Bruyneel slinks off to deflect attention (and suspicion), Fränk suddenly can time trial and a couple of Pharmy style attacks later he wins in Paris by two minutes, taking the sprint on the Champs Elysees for good measure. Maybe not the last bit. Fränk will, however, finish in lil bro’s favourite position. Or suddenly leave with a stomach bug.
Cadel will take this. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to worry about in the mountains. Deliberately almost sucking so far, but not. Hints of form, staying low, deflecting attention. Look after the time trials and command the mountains. Safe, not exciting. Or he’ll step on someone else’s dog, breaking his elbow and decapitating the dog.
Wiggo could take this. It’s perfect. A lot of form. A lot of km’s against the clock. Not too many big hills. Too tall socks. Cav left to fight alone. One bad day is waiting there though, the sort of bad day that not even winning the final TT by 2 minutes can alleviate. Or he’ll crash in the first week, breaking both elbows after getting a sideburn caught in his crazy bio pace chainrings.
Sagan will win the first twelve stages, then leave with a stomach bug. Gossy will gratefully step into the vacant green in the greatest heist since Gerro won San Remo. And the Rug Salesman will be all spotty, due to getting in a long break and not sucking as much as even he expected. That’ll help him to 5th and Zubeldia level evanescence.
None of this may actually come close to happening, but whatever does I hope it’s an exciting race. Good luck to those battling hard for three weeks in the VSP race too, it could just turn out to be the main point of interest a couple of weeks from now.
Marko’s Reckoning
The Fish loses two spots on the G.C. but manages to eek out a pair of R3s in a sub-VSP as G’phant peaks in le Grande Boucle and walks away with le Grande Bouprize. Sad thing is, G’phant is legend but nobody remembers him because he only shows for races, not group rides anymore. Fausto rides a calculated, if not boring, race to move up a spot but just misses out. Gianni gets a glimpse of the podium going into the 16th stage and the Tourmalet but drowns in a lactic acid and caffeine soaked bath in that stage’s VSP. Marko Delgados virtually the entire event while he continues building his family a house in direct violation of Rule #11, which is more than we can say for Brett and Frank who were last seen going in the opposite direction with Bruyneel in a Radiotreksanshack team car dragging a muffler through Liege on its way to a USADA hearing near Austin.
In the meantime, two dudes from the Commonwealth – one with sideburns approaching muttonchops and another with an ass on his chin – duel it out in France. There will be some Italian, Spanish, and Russian dudes there too in an epic the likes of which hasn’t been seen in years. Fuck Yeah people, Vive le Tour.
Frank’s Delusions
It happens every single time. I get all weepy-eyed about the Giro and how it’s the Velominatus’ choice for a Grand Tour. Less crazy, better terrain, a comparatively weaker field usually yielding a closer race. But come the Tour, I get all starstruck as the big names line up in the best form they could muster for the season.
I also had decided to pick Twiggo for the big win, but now I’m not so sure. I love that the guy is tall and can get over a mountain, but there is one irrefutable fact that I can’t get over. He looks much too much like Gianni’s avatar, only not as well-kept. The sardonic look on his face along with those whispy sideburns are just too much for me to take. I’m back to rolling with my heart and my questionable sensibilities to favor Grimpelder this time round, now that he’s out of the shadow of his little brother and will be able to put the swivelnecking energy into the pedals instead of looking behind him.
The good news is that the racing always winds up being awesome. And that’s what its about: panache. So long as Wiggo doesn’t pull an Indurain and take 6 minutes on an early TT, I’ll be happy.
Epilogue
Pick carefully, don’t Delgado, and think twice about those rest day swaps; they come at a heavy price and there are some nice prizes on the line which make the Velominati Shop Apron look like a Schleck’s chamois during the descent of the Peyresourde.
The Fine Print: each contestant is of course encouraged to enter all VSP events, but everyone is eligible to take the prizes on only one VSP. If a contestant takes more than one VSP event (GC or Stage) the prize for that VSP will then be awarded to the player with the next highest score. In the event of a tie we’ll do our best to find the fairest way to break the tie. If something doesn’t make sense, please ask; we’re making this up as we go along.
Get your picks in by the time the countdown clock goes to zero, and good luck. Vive le Tour.
@mcsqueak
yah, I spat him out the back too, missing his bro too much.
Ah, here’s goes nuttin’! Too many variables! Will Froome crack? Will Denis come on strong in week 3? Will Nibbles uphold Italy’s pride? Will Cadel go crazy aggressive? Will Twiggo handle the pressure? WTF do I know?
VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Nibali
4. Froome
5. Menchov
@xyxax
Now that is funny! Did you check the parking lot or local streets, perhaps?
Don’t really expect Nibaldi to win, but trying to minimize penalty points.
VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):
1. Nibaldi
2. Wiggins
3. Froome
4. Schleck
5. Evans
@Xyverz
You may have just incurred an emoticon penalty as well.
It’s ok folks – Lotto Belisol’s prize tomorrow is a screwdriver with changeable heads
Frank, want to see some crazy progression in GT Palmares? Check out this kid Ryder Hesjedal. Nobody brought up doping then, eh?
@the Engine
Count me in, ty. Can’t post a smiley but I am still laughing.
@mouse
Lance ended up in front of the wrong judge. Judge Sparks once ordered some lawyers to his office for a kindergarten lesson in civility. Wish we had more judges like that.
wow, here is my rest day picks…hope they pan out
VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):
1. Wiggo
2. Evans
3. Froome
4. Menchov
5. Jurgen VdB
@Duende
Petacchi trying to unload his shoe covers and pass them to a teammate. Source.
VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):
1. Jurgen Van Den Broeck
2. Bradley Wiggins
3. Cadel Evans
4. Vincenzo Nibali
5. Denis Menchov
Rest day upgrade… Can’t get any worse than my original picks.
VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):
1. Cadel Evans
2. Froome
3. Zubeldia
4. Wiggins
5. Tejay van Garderen
@King Clydesdale
Wow! Awesomely ballzy pick! Loving the JVDB pick!
What hapened?
Yesterday yall were all like only wankers and c*nts make rest day swaps. Now Today I load the site only to see that nearly everyone is making swaps.
Well I may as well go along. Decided to put in Menchov in for Sanchez.
VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Nibali
4. Menchov
5. Leipheimer
@San Tonio
Some of us are sticking to our guns!!! Although I do love to watch the shifting of picks of others. Guess that makes me a VoyeurVSPswapperwankerc*nt!
@San Tonio
It would have silly not to swap out Ryder and Danielson since they are already DNF’d
It would be easy to flip Cadel and Wiggo but I want to see Cadel and Nibali take the race to Wiggo so I’ll stick with my picks.
VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):
1. Cuddles
2. Wiggo
3. Nibbles
4. Leipheimer
5. Schleck
Worked on picking the absolute last rider to finish in the 2011 Tour — Vincent Jerome (Europcar). He stayed there for more than a week after the big crash on stage one. And I have been told that the last rider to finish is awarded an amount for coming in last.
Wow, so is Georgie’s bike gold & black? Butterscotch & black? Looks slick.
NATE – Stick by your picks, give ’em all the lovin’…yeah, let’s hope for an awesome race continued.
Maybe someone can chime in – when was the last Tour that had fireworks this early? Cadel up the hill, Froome, Wiggins…I don’t recall that much jazz so early, but we have some real seasoned veterans around here to tell us more.
Jens Voigt: “But this goes back to a point I brought up earlier. Why is everybody so stressed? Why are there crashes in the feed zone? Why are there crashes 35 kilometers into the stage? Come on boys, chill a little, relax a little, and give everyone next to you some respect.”
Rest day, eh? The timing could not be better – just returned from two weeks in Canada’s eastern provinces after gettin’ hitched on ol’ 17 June. Completely out the back & lost contact with even the last wheels. I need today to catch up!
Greipel goes on with a bad shoulder?
Sagan wins three, even after a crash?
MontgomerysideburnsWiggins TTs like a champ?
Craziness.
And, just saw this discussion of what happened to Hope of a Nation. I watch all the races online, usually Eurosport. Then happened to stay with friends with a tv. It took me a long, long time to figure out who was in yellow – they were so focussed on GREEN. Cool,nbc is carrying it but I sadly think this is like most stuff – I’m happy I can watch it easily but I’m sad that things seem to be changing.
To have to wait an hour to find out who was in the Maillot Jaune is totally fucked.
Storylines. Those fuckers love ’em.
@Buck Rogers
At a glance this read, “I do love to watch the shitting of picks of others.”
VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):
1. Wiggo
2. Evans
3. Van Der Broek
4. Froome
5. Mechov
@brett
You see the problem with you brett is that we both know you’re not very intelligent and the saddest part is that you can’t do anything about it so all you are able to do is to reply to a post that was not even intended for you and call me dumb.Frank can easily answer on his own and he did so if you’re not smart enough to enter our discussion I don’t need your fucking useless 2 cents input.
I never said that journalists shouldn’t ask difficult questions,including doping,but when that is all what they are doing,every fucking day,after every fucking stage clearly something is wrong,don’t you think?No,cause you don’t think.
Also every year,especially during Tour de France, they always bring up the dirty laundry stories from way back so dumb asses like you who know only Tour de France see only the worst side of cycling-doping.Why they didn’t bring LA story in January.You think USADA didn’t know already what they know now.They waited for the Tour to start so focus switches from racing to shit newspaper stories and riders have to face questioning from amateur students-turned journalists working part time during summer holidays.
Let me tell you sth else.Even as a Keeper your contribution is useless.You should keep the site and community here in order when things get out of hand sometimes but instead you are the useless DICK who call people names and act dumb.
While I agree with Dr C about the language when dealing with assheads like brett there’s no other way.
I’m new so I gotta ask: how often is there a fistfight when you guys actually get together? “Minipumps at dawn” really wouldn’t cut it. Maybe “Minipump up the ass.”
Hilarious.
@Buck Rogers
Buck and I are the last two fools on the Titanic. We both find this swapping out of picks to be crap. It’s ungentlemanly. Ladies and children first. That’s right, we are calling you ladies and children!
@Gianni
Sticking to your guns without the sense to reload.
@versio
Ha! I readily admit that I am a bit wierd and crazy but not THAT wierd and crazy!
@Gianni
VSP Pick selection integrity! Gianni, we just answer to a higher code (and lose every VSP as well, but hey, we can claim righteousness is on our side!).
kind of a blah tour so far oh well lets see how it goes.
VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):
1. evans
2. wiggo
3. nibali
4. froome
5. van gardening
Hey, if my wee man Sammy was still in, I’d likely stick to my guns. He’s out, so seems crazy not to make some swaps – especially with the swag at stake! Speaking of which, I think the generous donations by the sponsors is hugely responsible for the frantic swapping. Sure wasn’t like this last year . . .
I started with both Sanchez and Danielson. Ouch. I can’t end up with negative points, right?
VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):
1. Frank Schleck
2. Sylvain Chavanel
3. Scarponi
4. Nibali
5. Ivan Basso
VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Menchov
4. Nibali
5. Froome
@PeakInTwoYears
Never – everyone is inhaling wasps riding or too drunk/tired to care. Welcome, and wait until people really start caring about things, like wearing helmets or not.
Well… I just cost myself a whole bunch of points with the initial cluster f&%^ of picks. Why couldn’t Garmin keep Ryder towards the front, WHY!
VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):
1. Bradley Wiggins
2. Cadel Evans
3. Christopher Froome
4. Tejay Van Garderen
5. Denny Menchov
@wiscot
Yeah last year I was determined to get in on every VSP. This year I’ve been more hit and miss and have completely spaced a few races. A sweet pair of shoes is certainly worth putting some effort in for!
Tick tick tick tick tick…
Waiting for the explosion.
@Buck Rogers
Ahoy there, fools on the Titanic! Feel free to step aboard my dinghy, it’s full of holes and half of the crew have gone missing but we sail on.
@Blah I was about to go to bed but I might stay up and see what happens.
Switching 2 riders and will probably lose points, I’m still down with Cuddles though.
VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):
1. Evans
2. Wiggo
3. Nibali
4. Menchov
5. Levi
@Blah @Chris
Me too. It’s not going to be pretty.
@TommyTubolare
Did you study at The Wiggins Institute of Articulation?
Wade through the fluff. This is worth a listen to hear views on Phil, Paul, Lance and the American networks, the story of Floyd’s “day of glory” interviews, suddenly surprising form (very timely), etc.
http://thebikeshow.net/how-ned-boulting-stopped-worrying-and-learned-to-love-the-tour-de-france/
@Gianni
@Buck Rogers
I am with you two. Last year my pride in the integrity of my initial picks made me refuse to insert Cobo as a rest day swap at the Vuelta – when everybody else in contention did so. It cost me the overall victory – but I would rather be Poulidor than win in what I see as a less than pure manner.
@Nate, you are still a pussy to me.
As I have said before – sack the rest day swaps, honor your initial selections. Maybe put in a few more one dayers if people want mid-race action.
Cannot wait for tonight’s stage. Its time to throw the kitchen sink Cuddles! Or the first of a few.
VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):
1. Cadelephant
2. Valverde
3. Wiggins
4. Nibali
5. Menchov
@Bianchi Denti
Nice opening tag.
@Marcus
As long as I’m attached to an antipodean ewe I’ll manage to live with it — I rather like that red jersey icon I’m sporting.
@brett
Waiting for the real @brett to login.
Lift your game. People lost sleep waiting for that.
@versio
:'(