Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France 2012
We are proud to announce a change to the Velominati Super Prestige moving forward: sponsorship. We are delighted (if a little surprised) at the interest our partners showed in this endeavor, despite the short notice we gave them. Four sponsors will be gracing the sides of our team bus for this year’s race: fi’zi:k is our Super Domestique Sponsor (think Big George without the shoe covers because who’d want to cover those beauties up), while the leadout train is being rounded out by DeFeet, Pavé Cycling Classics, and Malteni Beer. As we all know, fizik gets a lot of love around here as the Contact Point Supplier, and for good reason. So we thought now is as good a time as any to announce that DeFeet has agreed to come on board as Flandrian Best Supplier, the Pavé boys, our trusted guides over the stones and bergs, and Malteni Biere which fills our bidon and keeps us making bad decisions like teaming up with the Pavé boys.
So what does Super Domestique Sponsor mean? Free shoes to the winners – that’s what it means, dillwhips. Free R3’s, yup the Aristocrats, to the three winners of the VSP: TdF GC Winner and the two Stage VSP’s. As you watch this year’s race, look for the likes of Jeremy Roy and Richie Porte riding the R3’s in complete Rule Compliance. As Leadout Sponsor, Defeet is providing a full Flandrian Best Kit including a base layer, Armskins, Kneekers, and Slipstream Belgian booties for the VSP: Tdf GC second place as well plus two pairs of D-Logo socks to each runner-up of the Stage VSP’s. The Pavé boys (also Leadout Sponsors) are putting up a limited Pavé Cycling Classics wool jersey awarded to third place. We can’t ship Malteni (also Leadout Sponsors) legally, so you’ll just have to wait until you’re in Belgium to guzzle some of that lovely nectar or join the Pavé boys for their Worlds Weekend tour with Johan Museeuw where they’ll get you stupid(er) on the stuff.
Gianni’s Ruminations
Finally, the date has arrived. We have all done our training through the winter, contested the Spring Classics, The Ardennes Races, Romandie, Oh the Giro, The Dauphine, Tour de Swiss. Not all were in the VSP schedule but I know most of you wrote down your picks for the others and tucked them under your pillows. It’s training. There has been time to taper down before Saturday’s prologue start in Liége, Belgium. A young neo-pro, The Fish, is leading in points. The hardened veterans have seen these youth come and go, the season is long. A touch of wheels, a moment of youthful idealism, Vladimir Karpets is picked to podium, The Fish goes down, he panics and by the time he is back up he will never see the front again. Or he will continue to mock us all with his astute choices and lead all the way to Lombardy.
I have staked my claim on the yellow kit ownership some time ago and still see this as an epic Cadel-Wiggo battle to the death and if not death, until one of them sits up. But this year might be the time the youth start to fill up the other three places in the top five.
The Shack’s team car has been crashing into every static object all spring and now Bruyneel has been yanked out of the driver’s seat. The ride can only get smoother but with the reluctant leader Frank Schleck staring at over 100km of prologue and time trialing, as was said in the bunker, they are going stage hunting. I could go on for hours about the 2012 TdF but we have other Keepers who need to vent.
Please check the VSP page for the rules, keep an eye on the awesome VSP countdown timer, don’t Delgado your picks. Here is the start list.
I have to give a shout out to a brave group of Velominati who are heading to the Vermont/Canadian border to draft behind a massive dump truck full of Awesome all the way to the Massachusetts state line. It’s a Cogal only deranged people would attempt and as luck would have it, we supply them here. I hope they get their picks in soon as they may be in no kind of shape on Friday to think about such important things.
Brett’s Misconceptions
It’s all about Fränk. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to hold him back. Deliberately sucking all year so far, crashing and quitting, a hint of form, Bruyneel slinks off to deflect attention (and suspicion), Fränk suddenly can time trial and a couple of Pharmy style attacks later he wins in Paris by two minutes, taking the sprint on the Champs Elysees for good measure. Maybe not the last bit. Fränk will, however, finish in lil bro’s favourite position. Or suddenly leave with a stomach bug.
Cadel will take this. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to worry about in the mountains. Deliberately almost sucking so far, but not. Hints of form, staying low, deflecting attention. Look after the time trials and command the mountains. Safe, not exciting. Or he’ll step on someone else’s dog, breaking his elbow and decapitating the dog.
Wiggo could take this. It’s perfect. A lot of form. A lot of km’s against the clock. Not too many big hills. Too tall socks. Cav left to fight alone. One bad day is waiting there though, the sort of bad day that not even winning the final TT by 2 minutes can alleviate. Or he’ll crash in the first week, breaking both elbows after getting a sideburn caught in his crazy bio pace chainrings.
Sagan will win the first twelve stages, then leave with a stomach bug. Gossy will gratefully step into the vacant green in the greatest heist since Gerro won San Remo. And the Rug Salesman will be all spotty, due to getting in a long break and not sucking as much as even he expected. That’ll help him to 5th and Zubeldia level evanescence.
None of this may actually come close to happening, but whatever does I hope it’s an exciting race. Good luck to those battling hard for three weeks in the VSP race too, it could just turn out to be the main point of interest a couple of weeks from now.
Marko’s Reckoning
The Fish loses two spots on the G.C. but manages to eek out a pair of R3s in a sub-VSP as G’phant peaks in le Grande Boucle and walks away with le Grande Bouprize. Sad thing is, G’phant is legend but nobody remembers him because he only shows for races, not group rides anymore. Fausto rides a calculated, if not boring, race to move up a spot but just misses out. Gianni gets a glimpse of the podium going into the 16th stage and the Tourmalet but drowns in a lactic acid and caffeine soaked bath in that stage’s VSP. Marko Delgados virtually the entire event while he continues building his family a house in direct violation of Rule #11, which is more than we can say for Brett and Frank who were last seen going in the opposite direction with Bruyneel in a Radiotreksanshack team car dragging a muffler through Liege on its way to a USADA hearing near Austin.
In the meantime, two dudes from the Commonwealth – one with sideburns approaching muttonchops and another with an ass on his chin – duel it out in France. There will be some Italian, Spanish, and Russian dudes there too in an epic the likes of which hasn’t been seen in years. Fuck Yeah people, Vive le Tour.
Frank’s Delusions
It happens every single time. I get all weepy-eyed about the Giro and how it’s the Velominatus’ choice for a Grand Tour. Less crazy, better terrain, a comparatively weaker field usually yielding a closer race. But come the Tour, I get all starstruck as the big names line up in the best form they could muster for the season.
I also had decided to pick Twiggo for the big win, but now I’m not so sure. I love that the guy is tall and can get over a mountain, but there is one irrefutable fact that I can’t get over. He looks much too much like Gianni’s avatar, only not as well-kept. The sardonic look on his face along with those whispy sideburns are just too much for me to take. I’m back to rolling with my heart and my questionable sensibilities to favor Grimpelder this time round, now that he’s out of the shadow of his little brother and will be able to put the swivelnecking energy into the pedals instead of looking behind him.
The good news is that the racing always winds up being awesome. And that’s what its about: panache. So long as Wiggo doesn’t pull an Indurain and take 6 minutes on an early TT, I’ll be happy.
Epilogue
Pick carefully, don’t Delgado, and think twice about those rest day swaps; they come at a heavy price and there are some nice prizes on the line which make the Velominati Shop Apron look like a Schleck’s chamois during the descent of the Peyresourde.
The Fine Print: each contestant is of course encouraged to enter all VSP events, but everyone is eligible to take the prizes on only one VSP. If a contestant takes more than one VSP event (GC or Stage) the prize for that VSP will then be awarded to the player with the next highest score. In the event of a tie we’ll do our best to find the fairest way to break the tie. If something doesn’t make sense, please ask; we’re making this up as we go along.
Get your picks in by the time the countdown clock goes to zero, and good luck. Vive le Tour.
@mcsqueak Once again, really?
Considering Sky is ultimately owned by an Australian and that OGE has had a dream debut season, I would say that we go ok and that you dont know what the fuck you are talking about.
@mcsqueak
Good one, that’s one fine sheila.
VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):
1. Evans
2. Froome
3. Wiggins
4. Nibali
5. Levi
Are the socks to hide the tattoo?
VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):
1. Wiggo
2. Evans
3. Nibali
4. Menchov
5. Froome
Don’t let Boonen hear about 17 being a “gentleman’s” number.
@Marcus
You mean an American owns Sky. Last I checked Murdoch turned his back on Australia to be an American.
And your ‘dream debut’ has really hit the skids the past few weeks. Maybe next year, yeah? Or perhaps you guys will pick up some medals next month.
@minion
The one from the Concords that you used to live near. Obviously.
@mcsqueak
We know he is still an Aussie – he just filled out some forms so he could buy media assets. Just like Froome became a Pom so he could get around some bike licensing issues.
Anyway, the Sky stuff was just mucking about. Onto OGE – they have surpassed expectations. If your definition of “HIt the skids” is to not win a stage of the Tour – yet – then yes, we should hit the panic button. But OGE’s season was made as soon as Gerro won MSR. The rest is gravy. And with a hatful of smaller race wins, they are going very well indeed. I cannot understand how one would think otherwise.
@DerHoggz
I can just see that photo heading to meme generators now.
“I don’t often crush the hopes of a nation, but when I do …
It’s Australia.”
@Marcus
Eddie F’n Merckx, you can’t insult some people round this place.
The tiny gold cup is awesome however.
@minion
Christ almighty, he could go and hide behind that fence post there, eat something man.
Even funnier when he falls off trying to chase Cuddles and Nibbles down a Col and crushes all of England. Give em something to whinge about for another 100 years.
Sinister Sky Sabotage Shocker
http://m.smh.com.au/sport/cycling/chef-stops-evanss-tour-going-up-in-smoke-20120711-21uu7.html
! Fuck. Imagine.
VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Nibali
4. Sanchez
5. Schleck
@Smithers
Ps I didn’t swap any of my picks, Keepers – though my post reads like I did?
VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Nibali
4. Sanchez
5. Schleck
@Smithers check your scores for each of the riders (click the down arrow), does any rider have anything in the pick penalty field?
VSP PICKS (1st Rest Day Swaps):
1. Wiggins
2. Evans
3. Menchov
4. Nibali
5. Froome
@Smithers
There’s more sabotage going on between the team buses!
BMC’s revenge on the Sky bus. Watch out on the descents.
kindred spirits – is that the Anne of Green Gables reference? I’ve never read the books but just back from Prince Edward Island and the whole place was pretty awesome, including the AofGGs stuff. Was walking around the paths when a dude made an “insiders joke” and the VMH had to explain it to me.
On another note, it killed me to not have a bike there. They’ve taken an old rail line and turned it into a bike path. You can pretty much ride from one end of the island to the other on a gravel path. Beautiful place to do some riding, I’d say.
@Ron Well spotted. And yeah, PEI is a pretty cool place. Hard to believe, but it had even more charm before they built the bridge. The price of progress, I guess.
I actually found myself walking around more than once wondering how much things had changed since the bridge, since Lucie Maud’s time, etc. I’m sure it has, but do have to say that it was still pretty damn charming. Scenic, nice swimming, friendly folks and a solid Canada Day celebration at the harbor. I had a great time.
@mcsqueak
So many violations, but you can’t fault those calf muscles. Damn!
Wow. Looks like BMC had erroneous time checks for the first part of Cuddles’ ITT. They had him 20 seconds ahead of Wiggo at 35 kms. Lelangue must have been gutted when he realised it.
Damn this iPad! I tried to swap out Sammy last evening, but it decided to not let me. Now I am stuck. *sigh*
Interesting comments coming out from Paul Kimmage now…
My goodness, Voeckler looks to be in basketball mid-calf socks & soccer cleats. Hope we don’t have to watch him yelling, bobbing, and grimacing all the way up the climbs today.
@Ron
Guess his knee is better, eh?
“When you look at the course, and at Cadel taking that time back, the possibilities are relatively limited,” Yates told VeloNews. “In this day and age, especially when you have a strong team, it’s not on the climbs that you make the difference.”
@Ron
We did.Looked like he was chewing a wasp all the way up
Great descent by Nibali! Here we go!
@Duende
nibali has found Sagan so has some help. Sky now in full chase. I
@Adrian
I fucking new it. So pissed I’m in class and can’t watch this.
@Marcus
Those should be interesting. Where did you see/hear them?
@Buck Rogers
http://www.velonation.com/News/ID/12357/Kimmage-disappointed-in-Wiggins-and-Team-Sky-over-transparency.aspx
@RedRanger
no worries heres the latest. Sagan popped and nibali riding on alone. He had about 40 secs advantage at the bottom of the descent but the Sky train has pulled it back to about 20 secs. Group of 4, Sanchez, voeckler, scarponi and a quickstep rider about 3 mins ahead of Wiggo in a breakaway.
@RedRanger
Richie Porte has worked to catch him. All together.
Nibali hoovered up by the Sky train
So much for using the descent to attack and gain time. I’m thinking he wins tomorrow theN.
Jens is with the lead group. Shut up legs!
Legend.
Jens reels in the leaders!
Jens catches the front group and then attacks – brilliant!
Very frustrated, cannot seem to make any internet video feeds of the race work today. Hard not to have it on in the background — I’d take Flemish even.
Love to see Jens take the win.
@Chris
+1…come on Jensie………
@Chris
I bet we all would!
Dries D who basically wheel sucked up all the climbs has attacked with 2km to go. Jens however is chasing him down leaving the other three in his wake. That man can suffer
Tommy V wins
Voeckler -v- Voight vor the vin!
I love Jens.
What a Finish!
Jens should get a grey jersey for being the oldest rider in the tour.
Can’t wait to watch that tonight after a good session on the rollers.