Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France 2012
We are proud to announce a change to the Velominati Super Prestige moving forward: sponsorship. We are delighted (if a little surprised) at the interest our partners showed in this endeavor, despite the short notice we gave them. Four sponsors will be gracing the sides of our team bus for this year’s race: fi’zi:k is our Super Domestique Sponsor (think Big George without the shoe covers because who’d want to cover those beauties up), while the leadout train is being rounded out by DeFeet, Pavé Cycling Classics, and Malteni Beer. As we all know, fizik gets a lot of love around here as the Contact Point Supplier, and for good reason. So we thought now is as good a time as any to announce that DeFeet has agreed to come on board as Flandrian Best Supplier, the Pavé boys, our trusted guides over the stones and bergs, and Malteni Biere which fills our bidon and keeps us making bad decisions like teaming up with the Pavé boys.
So what does Super Domestique Sponsor mean? Free shoes to the winners – that’s what it means, dillwhips. Free R3’s, yup the Aristocrats, to the three winners of the VSP: TdF GC Winner and the two Stage VSP’s. As you watch this year’s race, look for the likes of Jeremy Roy and Richie Porte riding the R3’s in complete Rule Compliance. As Leadout Sponsor, Defeet is providing a full Flandrian Best Kit including a base layer, Armskins, Kneekers, and Slipstream Belgian booties for the VSP: Tdf GC second place as well plus two pairs of D-Logo socks to each runner-up of the Stage VSP’s. The Pavé boys (also Leadout Sponsors) are putting up a limited Pavé Cycling Classics wool jersey awarded to third place. We can’t ship Malteni (also Leadout Sponsors) legally, so you’ll just have to wait until you’re in Belgium to guzzle some of that lovely nectar or join the Pavé boys for their Worlds Weekend tour with Johan Museeuw where they’ll get you stupid(er) on the stuff.
Gianni’s Ruminations
Finally, the date has arrived. We have all done our training through the winter, contested the Spring Classics, The Ardennes Races, Romandie, Oh the Giro, The Dauphine, Tour de Swiss. Not all were in the VSP schedule but I know most of you wrote down your picks for the others and tucked them under your pillows. It’s training. There has been time to taper down before Saturday’s prologue start in Liége, Belgium. A young neo-pro, The Fish, is leading in points. The hardened veterans have seen these youth come and go, the season is long. A touch of wheels, a moment of youthful idealism, Vladimir Karpets is picked to podium, The Fish goes down, he panics and by the time he is back up he will never see the front again. Or he will continue to mock us all with his astute choices and lead all the way to Lombardy.
I have staked my claim on the yellow kit ownership some time ago and still see this as an epic Cadel-Wiggo battle to the death and if not death, until one of them sits up. But this year might be the time the youth start to fill up the other three places in the top five.
The Shack’s team car has been crashing into every static object all spring and now Bruyneel has been yanked out of the driver’s seat. The ride can only get smoother but with the reluctant leader Frank Schleck staring at over 100km of prologue and time trialing, as was said in the bunker, they are going stage hunting. I could go on for hours about the 2012 TdF but we have other Keepers who need to vent.
Please check the VSP page for the rules, keep an eye on the awesome VSP countdown timer, don’t Delgado your picks. Here is the start list.
I have to give a shout out to a brave group of Velominati who are heading to the Vermont/Canadian border to draft behind a massive dump truck full of Awesome all the way to the Massachusetts state line. It’s a Cogal only deranged people would attempt and as luck would have it, we supply them here. I hope they get their picks in soon as they may be in no kind of shape on Friday to think about such important things.
Brett’s Misconceptions
It’s all about Fränk. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to hold him back. Deliberately sucking all year so far, crashing and quitting, a hint of form, Bruyneel slinks off to deflect attention (and suspicion), Fränk suddenly can time trial and a couple of Pharmy style attacks later he wins in Paris by two minutes, taking the sprint on the Champs Elysees for good measure. Maybe not the last bit. Fränk will, however, finish in lil bro’s favourite position. Or suddenly leave with a stomach bug.
Cadel will take this. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to worry about in the mountains. Deliberately almost sucking so far, but not. Hints of form, staying low, deflecting attention. Look after the time trials and command the mountains. Safe, not exciting. Or he’ll step on someone else’s dog, breaking his elbow and decapitating the dog.
Wiggo could take this. It’s perfect. A lot of form. A lot of km’s against the clock. Not too many big hills. Too tall socks. Cav left to fight alone. One bad day is waiting there though, the sort of bad day that not even winning the final TT by 2 minutes can alleviate. Or he’ll crash in the first week, breaking both elbows after getting a sideburn caught in his crazy bio pace chainrings.
Sagan will win the first twelve stages, then leave with a stomach bug. Gossy will gratefully step into the vacant green in the greatest heist since Gerro won San Remo. And the Rug Salesman will be all spotty, due to getting in a long break and not sucking as much as even he expected. That’ll help him to 5th and Zubeldia level evanescence.
None of this may actually come close to happening, but whatever does I hope it’s an exciting race. Good luck to those battling hard for three weeks in the VSP race too, it could just turn out to be the main point of interest a couple of weeks from now.
Marko’s Reckoning
The Fish loses two spots on the G.C. but manages to eek out a pair of R3s in a sub-VSP as G’phant peaks in le Grande Boucle and walks away with le Grande Bouprize. Sad thing is, G’phant is legend but nobody remembers him because he only shows for races, not group rides anymore. Fausto rides a calculated, if not boring, race to move up a spot but just misses out. Gianni gets a glimpse of the podium going into the 16th stage and the Tourmalet but drowns in a lactic acid and caffeine soaked bath in that stage’s VSP. Marko Delgados virtually the entire event while he continues building his family a house in direct violation of Rule #11, which is more than we can say for Brett and Frank who were last seen going in the opposite direction with Bruyneel in a Radiotreksanshack team car dragging a muffler through Liege on its way to a USADA hearing near Austin.
In the meantime, two dudes from the Commonwealth – one with sideburns approaching muttonchops and another with an ass on his chin – duel it out in France. There will be some Italian, Spanish, and Russian dudes there too in an epic the likes of which hasn’t been seen in years. Fuck Yeah people, Vive le Tour.
Frank’s Delusions
It happens every single time. I get all weepy-eyed about the Giro and how it’s the Velominatus’ choice for a Grand Tour. Less crazy, better terrain, a comparatively weaker field usually yielding a closer race. But come the Tour, I get all starstruck as the big names line up in the best form they could muster for the season.
I also had decided to pick Twiggo for the big win, but now I’m not so sure. I love that the guy is tall and can get over a mountain, but there is one irrefutable fact that I can’t get over. He looks much too much like Gianni’s avatar, only not as well-kept. The sardonic look on his face along with those whispy sideburns are just too much for me to take. I’m back to rolling with my heart and my questionable sensibilities to favor Grimpelder this time round, now that he’s out of the shadow of his little brother and will be able to put the swivelnecking energy into the pedals instead of looking behind him.
The good news is that the racing always winds up being awesome. And that’s what its about: panache. So long as Wiggo doesn’t pull an Indurain and take 6 minutes on an early TT, I’ll be happy.
Epilogue
Pick carefully, don’t Delgado, and think twice about those rest day swaps; they come at a heavy price and there are some nice prizes on the line which make the Velominati Shop Apron look like a Schleck’s chamois during the descent of the Peyresourde.
The Fine Print: each contestant is of course encouraged to enter all VSP events, but everyone is eligible to take the prizes on only one VSP. If a contestant takes more than one VSP event (GC or Stage) the prize for that VSP will then be awarded to the player with the next highest score. In the event of a tie we’ll do our best to find the fairest way to break the tie. If something doesn’t make sense, please ask; we’re making this up as we go along.
Get your picks in by the time the countdown clock goes to zero, and good luck. Vive le Tour.
@snoov he certainly deserves the most aggressive rider award.
Definitely best stage so far……
Awesome stage! Voigt! MONSTER MASH!!
Loved seeing Nibbles take a flier – that’s what I’m talking about, aside from the minor factor of the move not working. I am really warming up to that guy, not to mention Sagan did a whole lot of redeeming today with that awesome move to set Nibbles up.
Awesome stage. Those attacks by Evans et al on the last little finishing stretch aren’t going to do it for anyone…they have to try it Merckx-Style.
Agreed, that was a great stage! It was too bad that Sagan couldn’t hold on a bit longer to help Nibali maintain the gap he built over the main group on that descent. But, he certainly did his part. Very much looking forward to tomorrow’s big stage.
After the ITT:
“What can we expect from you now, Cadel?”
“The same as always. To fight to the end and never give up.”
Agreed… Awesome stage! That road up the Grand Columbier is an instant classic. Love to see the Big Guns taking chances early on. On another note… As much as I loved the way Sean Kelly raced, listening to him on the Eurosport feed is just short of painful. I fight through it because (1) he’s Sean Kelly & (2) he has great insight. I’m pretty sure he has never cracked a joke or played grab ass in his life but that’s ok because he’s Sean Kelly.
@El Mateo
You gonna make it out here this weekend?
@Adrian
He sure as hell can. Gets caught and passed within the final K, says fuck you, keeps on going, and then still gets on the podium…WOW! And he pulled back Sanchez! A BIG fuck you to him for not only beating him in that Paris-Nice stage, but for thinking he could pass him today. Pure awesomeness. If I ever ride that course at that pace, get caught, and V-it up near the line to pull out a podium spot I’ll die a happy man. That is serious class, Jens.
@Duende
Nibali certainly did go WHEESH! down that descent.
@Steampunk Yes, G will go ballistic when he watches the highlights with me later this afternoon! When you “pump your pistons,” you wheesh! Nibali gets this. That’s what makes him great. (Anyone else out there have children who watch cycling through the lens of Thomas the Tank Engine?)
@frank
I really appreciate your reply Frank however you have a tendency to add staff to your replies that fits only your way of thinking.Some here find it annoying but I’m perfectly fine with that.
So to begin please quit painting a picture of hard-working Saint Bretto in front of my eyes while you know what he said to other members and me few posts before.I’m not particularly bothered or insulted by his name calling but if you think I should stick my head in the sand and sit tight then you’re wrong mate.Somehow my post is so insulting and yet the person who started name calling is giving some fucking excuse from you that it’s perfectly normal for Australians.What kind of bullshit is that Frank?Are you suddenly trying to play Mr.Sensitive here?It’s not about Australians or Dutch or any other nationalities.It’s about respecting opinion of others which clearly he’s got a problem with.I respect his opinion that Wiggo is a COTHO and never called him any bad name for it.At the same time I never expressed any opinion what I think but simply join you in conversation by asking a simple question about journalists.He then jumps back on his name calling wagon assuming that I agree with what Wiggo said etc.
I realized that his input to this site is great and I’m not gonna lie I really enjoyed many of his articles however in this particular thread he didn’t really let the intelligence you are talking about shine.So even though I know he doesn’t even care he deserves what he got in my post.Don’t start none it won’t be none.That’s all really.
@ten B
Your opinion is more than welcome however I never expressed any opinion in the first place so what’s your beef mate?I got called a name first for no reason and simply responded the way I wanted.If you don’t want to read it skip it.
@Marcus
You’re a funny fucker Marcus I give you that.However your name doesn’t sound good either so at least now you’re in a good company.I like the fact you’re speaking your mind though.I might even begin to like your name if I stay here long enough.Oh yeah and thanks for the tips but I thought what I said was enough.
@brett
I couldn’t care less about grammar and articulation in a 1 minute response to you mate but since you don’t have much to say about cycling your reply was easy to predict.Plus I don’t even understand while you keep bringing on Wiggins and try to argue your point with me while it’s not even the subject I brought up to Frank.I’m really fine with him being a COTHO in your opinion so have a Leffe and chill a bit.
@Chris
Why rollers Chris?Is it a lack of time or the weather is that bad?
@TommyTubolare
Discussion over here.
Sorry Jens didn’t win today, but glad to see Tommy V get it. Those guys were riding on fumes by the end! TV is one of the gutsiest riders out there and could teach the Schlecks a thing or too. Glad too that his knee has healed up. If the reports on his knee were accurate, Franky and Andy would be long gone with the same issues.
Love the French commentary!
“Ah, ce diable de Voigt! Il est incroyable, ce diable de Voigt.”
“Mais c’est incroyable! Il a quatre poumons!”
@TommyTubolare
What just happened? Are you a newly appointed PR executive.?
@TommyTubolare
Ah, the ancient Tibetan philosophy, my personal favorite.
@frank
Huh, had not even heard of that film. Don’t think I am going to run out and rent it anytime soon, either.
But on a semi-serious note, what’s going on around here anyways??? There’s more fighting and bickering among members than, someone help me here with an analogy–I’m drawing a blank, but you get the point.
I have been coming here since, I think, summer 2009, and in the last 6 months or so it seems like everyone is just picking fights. I’ve been caught up in it myself at times. Maybe I am delusional (probably) but I do not remember it being this way last year or the year before. Maybe there is some new psychomagnetheric slime flow underlying the site? I don’t know but it is a bit disturbing.
So, in the immortally wise words of that great American philosopher I say, “Why can’t we all just get along?”
@Buck Rogers
Its been a bit BikeRumours lately, hasn’t it? I blame people trying to lose weight by not drinking IPAs all the time. IPAs make this place a lot more fun. Not enough drunk posting. Its what makes the world go ’round.
To beer! The solution to and cause of life’s problems.
Personally, I think good form is to drop whatever you’re arguing about once it’s dropped off the latest page of posts. No one needs to bring things back up after they’ve been buried down a page or two. My attention span doesn’t run past what’s actually on the page, so I assume no else does, either.
@frank
Amen! I’m trying to do my part but I can only drink so much alcohol all by myself! But, since it is now for a cause, I’ll try to up my drinking game.
@frank
Actually, I think all we need is more late night Tim postings. That guy can carry all of us like he did at the 2much-on-100 ride!
Great stage today and was surprised to find myself rendered senseless with an extreme case of Colnago Carbone.
Surely the most beautiful bike in le tour, non?
@Buck Rogers
Well, I did insist that you had to be involved in at least one amusing argument if you wanted to post picks for the Giro VSP, so that may be a part of it… frankly part of it is the cyclical nature of the doping debate, which always, ALWAYS pops up at the tour and always get people riled up at this time of year.
Otherwise, I think the nature of the site which doesn’t squash vociferous debate and colourful language basically gives folk more rope to hang themselves with. It’s one of the best things about this place, so long as posters remember Rule #0, don’t be a jackass.
@Buck Rogers
some times I really wonder about sir franks taste in movies ;) (I did that on purpose btw)
Then again I’m a total movie snob.
and while we’re at it, what’s the most beautiful le tour kit?
Really interesting quote from Wiggins.
Maybe I’m too hard on these guys. I still think we aren’t out of line asking the questions, but to expect these guys to understand all this other fluff is maybe the exception not the rule. As he says, his job is to ride a bike, not be a PR agent.
Anyway, right or wrong, I thought this was a very heartfelt, interesting passage.
@frank
Fuck you Frank. I reserve the right to continue my argument with @Minion for as long as I like. I think it’s been going for years. And I am not sure how it started or what it’s about. But I know I’m right.
@TommyTubolare “The journalists should be as professional as the riders.Do you think cycling public is more offended by a word cunt or their dumb as fuck questions?” sounds like an opinion to me.
When you read Brett’s response in context: “You’re dumb as fuck if you think asking a question about doping should be left alone…” it seems like a proportionate response to a perceived attack on members of his profession.
And FWIW, I think a lot of people here find it difficult to just sit back and ignore outright abuse of others. Bretto may have brushed the line, but you took the line, put a hook on it, caught a mackarel and attempted to bludgeon him with it.
@RedRanger
My movie library, like my record collection and the bikes I own, spans the whole range, matey.
A stupid, idiotic movie like The Losers can just let you shut your brain off and have a good, hearty, IPA-fueled laugh. Absolutely love those movies as much as I love Laurence of Arabia or Apocalypse Now. But you can’t really sit down and watch Ma Vie En Rose every night after work, can you? Sometimes you just have to be silly. Kind of a central theme to the whole site.
I also enjoyed the fuck out of The Avengers.
@motor city
That Colnago might be the best looking bike, which is a sad thing because bikes used to be much more beautiful that that. I still have a soft spot for the R5ca that seems to break in half easily.
Most beautiful kit? I’d have to put my vote in for Omega-Pharma-Quickstep. Not a fan of the turquoise, but that is a very sharp looking kit, in my opinion. Doesn’t hurt we’ve seen it win as much as we have this year…
@frank
I was interested in these comments from a piece in the Guardian the other day:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2012/jul/10/tour-de-france-2012-bradley-wiggins
“My children have hardly seen me this year,” he said. “I’ve missed their birthdays, missed their school assemblies, things that are meaningless to a lot of people but when you’ve got two kids who don’t understand why you have to go away all the time or why you have to go and live on the top of a mountain or why you’re sleeping in the spare bedroom in a tent. They come knocking on the door and you’re like ET in there, you can’t come out.”
All I want to know is why on earth he’s sleeping in a tent. indoors???
@Marcus
It started when I was born and you were a massive cunzor. I think that’s about all that needs to be said on that.
Seriously, you”d have to alter our DNA to get us to stop fighting, and even then it probably wouldn’t work.
@Marcus
Yes, well you guys have a special dispensation for continuing your argument, just like the Belgians have a special dispensation to continue to be inferior to the Dutch in every sense except Cycling, Beer, and Women. And geography. And beer.
@motor city
I thought altitude tents were banned? A quick google search says no. Interesting.
http://inrng.com/2012/06/the-altitude-tent/
@minion
Been meaning to ask, what’s a cunzor again? Trent Reznor’s hoo-ha?
@frank I was just messing with you. I love watching movies in general. I havnt been on top of new movies this year but I also enjoyed the hell out of the Avengers. Also enjoyed the fuck out of Moonrise Kingdom(love Wes Anderson).
One of my favorite movies to watch after a long day is The Other Guys. Next time you go to te office ask your co workers when they last did a desk pop.
Btw I have seen the Losers. Enjoyed it for its A-teamness. Enjoyed that movie also.
@frank , @All
I recommend we all take @Frank’s taste in movies A LOT more seriously. Boy’z got skillz…
@frank
It’s a German word… it means “A whale’s vagina…”
http://youtu.be/cT8sIT4vBUQ
@frank
Yeah, the problems start when the rest of us try to mimic you-all’s stylings while discussing whether or not so-and-so is on the jet fuel. Carry on, please.
@frank I agree the OPQ kits looks good, the match with the helmet makes it.
will need to have a proper think about what my favourite is.
I know the kit i dislike the most – AG2R La Mondiale, i don’t think the colour brown should be anywhere near a bike race.
@Buck Rogers
I think real fighting (like Tommy over there) is pretty rare, but maybe I just don’t pay attention or I’m too daft to notice. I think most “arguing” is done in the sake of fun and just trying to take the piss out of people, like last night I was rather unsuccessfully trying to fluster up Marcus, but it was all in good fun. Maybe noone could tell because I didn’t use emotional icons!
It’s a website – no sense in actually getting bent out of shape, in my estimation!
@Nate
CASE. IN. POINT.
@frank ahh, altitude tent. that makes sense.
i guess they decided they couldn’t ban them, because they couldn’t police them.
@motor city
I actually really like the AG2R kit JERSEY, but yes those brown bibs need to go. Make them black, and keep the jersey like it is.
I also like BMC’s kit, and the Radioshack-Nissan Trek kit is nice as well, though I liked last year’s Leopard version a little better.
Worst to me is the Astana kit. That blue color is just sick. And the Shimano kit isn’t much better, being all white.
@RedRanger
OH MY GOD I NEED TO SEE THAT MOVIE RIGHT NOW.
@mcsqueak
You’re my boy, Blue!
@all
Don’t forget about the Stage VSP; doesn’t matter how well your’e doing (or not) in the TDF VSP – anyone can win another pair of R3’s and two pair of DeFeet socks. Go for it!
http://www.velominati.com/velominati-super-prestige/velominati-super-prestige-tour-de-france-2012-stage-11/
@frank
I’m not answering any tent questions you f***** c*** w*****.
@frank send me your info and I’ll send it to you.
@frank
I know we’re suposed to be easing off on the fighting and I wouldn’t usually pull someone up for a spelling mistake but this ones a bit personal. It’s LAWRENCE, not Laurence, LAWRENCE! That’s as retarded as calling yourself Kris?
Speaking of Lawrence of Arabia, Peter O’Toole announced his retirement yesterday. Looking forward to the Third volume of his memoires. Legend.
@mcsqueak
I think to clarify my point further, as I don’t mean to diminish how fucking RAD this website is. As an evil marketing genius in my “day job”, I am just amazed by the organic community here and the pure brilliance of it all, especially the branding. Ohhh that sexy, sexy brand imaging. I just can’t understand getting so wound up by text on a screen is all. Maybe I’m missing something… probably dropped on my head as a child…