Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France 2012
We are proud to announce a change to the Velominati Super Prestige moving forward: sponsorship. We are delighted (if a little surprised) at the interest our partners showed in this endeavor, despite the short notice we gave them. Four sponsors will be gracing the sides of our team bus for this year’s race: fi’zi:k is our Super Domestique Sponsor (think Big George without the shoe covers because who’d want to cover those beauties up), while the leadout train is being rounded out by DeFeet, Pavé Cycling Classics, and Malteni Beer. As we all know, fizik gets a lot of love around here as the Contact Point Supplier, and for good reason. So we thought now is as good a time as any to announce that DeFeet has agreed to come on board as Flandrian Best Supplier, the Pavé boys, our trusted guides over the stones and bergs, and Malteni Biere which fills our bidon and keeps us making bad decisions like teaming up with the Pavé boys.
So what does Super Domestique Sponsor mean? Free shoes to the winners – that’s what it means, dillwhips. Free R3’s, yup the Aristocrats, to the three winners of the VSP: TdF GC Winner and the two Stage VSP’s. As you watch this year’s race, look for the likes of Jeremy Roy and Richie Porte riding the R3’s in complete Rule Compliance. As Leadout Sponsor, Defeet is providing a full Flandrian Best Kit including a base layer, Armskins, Kneekers, and Slipstream Belgian booties for the VSP: Tdf GC second place as well plus two pairs of D-Logo socks to each runner-up of the Stage VSP’s. The Pavé boys (also Leadout Sponsors) are putting up a limited Pavé Cycling Classics wool jersey awarded to third place. We can’t ship Malteni (also Leadout Sponsors) legally, so you’ll just have to wait until you’re in Belgium to guzzle some of that lovely nectar or join the Pavé boys for their Worlds Weekend tour with Johan Museeuw where they’ll get you stupid(er) on the stuff.
Gianni’s Ruminations
Finally, the date has arrived. We have all done our training through the winter, contested the Spring Classics, The Ardennes Races, Romandie, Oh the Giro, The Dauphine, Tour de Swiss. Not all were in the VSP schedule but I know most of you wrote down your picks for the others and tucked them under your pillows. It’s training. There has been time to taper down before Saturday’s prologue start in Liége, Belgium. A young neo-pro, The Fish, is leading in points. The hardened veterans have seen these youth come and go, the season is long. A touch of wheels, a moment of youthful idealism, Vladimir Karpets is picked to podium, The Fish goes down, he panics and by the time he is back up he will never see the front again. Or he will continue to mock us all with his astute choices and lead all the way to Lombardy.
I have staked my claim on the yellow kit ownership some time ago and still see this as an epic Cadel-Wiggo battle to the death and if not death, until one of them sits up. But this year might be the time the youth start to fill up the other three places in the top five.
The Shack’s team car has been crashing into every static object all spring and now Bruyneel has been yanked out of the driver’s seat. The ride can only get smoother but with the reluctant leader Frank Schleck staring at over 100km of prologue and time trialing, as was said in the bunker, they are going stage hunting. I could go on for hours about the 2012 TdF but we have other Keepers who need to vent.
Please check the VSP page for the rules, keep an eye on the awesome VSP countdown timer, don’t Delgado your picks. Here is the start list.
I have to give a shout out to a brave group of Velominati who are heading to the Vermont/Canadian border to draft behind a massive dump truck full of Awesome all the way to the Massachusetts state line. It’s a Cogal only deranged people would attempt and as luck would have it, we supply them here. I hope they get their picks in soon as they may be in no kind of shape on Friday to think about such important things.
Brett’s Misconceptions
It’s all about Fränk. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to hold him back. Deliberately sucking all year so far, crashing and quitting, a hint of form, Bruyneel slinks off to deflect attention (and suspicion), Fränk suddenly can time trial and a couple of Pharmy style attacks later he wins in Paris by two minutes, taking the sprint on the Champs Elysees for good measure. Maybe not the last bit. Fränk will, however, finish in lil bro’s favourite position. Or suddenly leave with a stomach bug.
Cadel will take this. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to worry about in the mountains. Deliberately almost sucking so far, but not. Hints of form, staying low, deflecting attention. Look after the time trials and command the mountains. Safe, not exciting. Or he’ll step on someone else’s dog, breaking his elbow and decapitating the dog.
Wiggo could take this. It’s perfect. A lot of form. A lot of km’s against the clock. Not too many big hills. Too tall socks. Cav left to fight alone. One bad day is waiting there though, the sort of bad day that not even winning the final TT by 2 minutes can alleviate. Or he’ll crash in the first week, breaking both elbows after getting a sideburn caught in his crazy bio pace chainrings.
Sagan will win the first twelve stages, then leave with a stomach bug. Gossy will gratefully step into the vacant green in the greatest heist since Gerro won San Remo. And the Rug Salesman will be all spotty, due to getting in a long break and not sucking as much as even he expected. That’ll help him to 5th and Zubeldia level evanescence.
None of this may actually come close to happening, but whatever does I hope it’s an exciting race. Good luck to those battling hard for three weeks in the VSP race too, it could just turn out to be the main point of interest a couple of weeks from now.
Marko’s Reckoning
The Fish loses two spots on the G.C. but manages to eek out a pair of R3s in a sub-VSP as G’phant peaks in le Grande Boucle and walks away with le Grande Bouprize. Sad thing is, G’phant is legend but nobody remembers him because he only shows for races, not group rides anymore. Fausto rides a calculated, if not boring, race to move up a spot but just misses out. Gianni gets a glimpse of the podium going into the 16th stage and the Tourmalet but drowns in a lactic acid and caffeine soaked bath in that stage’s VSP. Marko Delgados virtually the entire event while he continues building his family a house in direct violation of Rule #11, which is more than we can say for Brett and Frank who were last seen going in the opposite direction with Bruyneel in a Radiotreksanshack team car dragging a muffler through Liege on its way to a USADA hearing near Austin.
In the meantime, two dudes from the Commonwealth – one with sideburns approaching muttonchops and another with an ass on his chin – duel it out in France. There will be some Italian, Spanish, and Russian dudes there too in an epic the likes of which hasn’t been seen in years. Fuck Yeah people, Vive le Tour.
Frank’s Delusions
It happens every single time. I get all weepy-eyed about the Giro and how it’s the Velominatus’ choice for a Grand Tour. Less crazy, better terrain, a comparatively weaker field usually yielding a closer race. But come the Tour, I get all starstruck as the big names line up in the best form they could muster for the season.
I also had decided to pick Twiggo for the big win, but now I’m not so sure. I love that the guy is tall and can get over a mountain, but there is one irrefutable fact that I can’t get over. He looks much too much like Gianni’s avatar, only not as well-kept. The sardonic look on his face along with those whispy sideburns are just too much for me to take. I’m back to rolling with my heart and my questionable sensibilities to favor Grimpelder this time round, now that he’s out of the shadow of his little brother and will be able to put the swivelnecking energy into the pedals instead of looking behind him.
The good news is that the racing always winds up being awesome. And that’s what its about: panache. So long as Wiggo doesn’t pull an Indurain and take 6 minutes on an early TT, I’ll be happy.
Epilogue
Pick carefully, don’t Delgado, and think twice about those rest day swaps; they come at a heavy price and there are some nice prizes on the line which make the Velominati Shop Apron look like a Schleck’s chamois during the descent of the Peyresourde.
The Fine Print: each contestant is of course encouraged to enter all VSP events, but everyone is eligible to take the prizes on only one VSP. If a contestant takes more than one VSP event (GC or Stage) the prize for that VSP will then be awarded to the player with the next highest score. In the event of a tie we’ll do our best to find the fairest way to break the tie. If something doesn’t make sense, please ask; we’re making this up as we go along.
Get your picks in by the time the countdown clock goes to zero, and good luck. Vive le Tour.
@gaswepass
Wiggo just comes off sounding awfully familiar. He still says he’s angry about this, and the tone is still “you aren’t being fair to me.” Sorry, dood, but we tried being fair in the past, and we got burned. You got the accolades, and you say you don’t want to put that at risk, so you’d never do it. Yep – the others who tripped the dope-o-meter sure lost everything, but ya know, if you look at others, they started doping because they had nothing to lose. How do we know you didn’t get to where you are with the same doping regimen other got away with? We don’t. So say so. Stop trying to lay the blame for your anger at the feet of your clients.
This is specifically what Millar doesn’t do, and it’s refreshing. He says “yep. you’re right to question it, and you have a right to do so. I will make you proud, and it is my responsibility to do so.” Yeah, ok I just put words in his mouth, but that’s what I hear from him and his actions. Not so with Wiggo right now, so I’m just not his fan. Anf farily, I wasn’t always a Millar fan. But…he is winning me over.
And, like the discussion we had about Evie Stevens, I get to decide the criteria I use for being a fan.
@eightzero
this I like.
@frank
No. The original point was that you could use that kit to back up the statement made by @sthilzy that “OPQS is coolest kit by a mile with attitude” because (apart from not being OPQS kit which I’ll admit I missed) it’s the wrong fucking colours.
More from Millar on doping
“It’s nice, very poignant, to have won clean having made the same mistakes that Tommy made,”
“I hope there is a message there about how far the sport has come in the last 45 years, indeed five years. I am an ex-doper who is now clean and there is never any point in hiding that. I will never fail to mention my doping past. I have a duty to remind people where our sport has been. I am very representative of our sport as whole. I have been through what the sport has been through but we are in a much better place now although we must not forget the past. But it is always important to show that you can win races clean.”
I’ve read the Wiggins article on the Guardian. Very good.
@ChrisO
+1 you funny bugger
RIP Tommy
@Roadslave525
Yeah.Documentary from BBC is nice.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tGJsxGFhxg
@harminator
Jezhuz! Not only did they relegate him one spot they docked him 30 points as well! Seems way over the top to me.
@SimonH A bit late? He wrote it within a couple of days of the initial brouhaha and during the Tour de France. The TOUR DE FRANCE.
@gaswepass
@eightzero
Surely at some point you need to trust, otherwise there can be no redemption and the sport we profess to love is truly fucked.
I take Wiggins’ statement as being about as unequivocal as you can get. The “poor me” aspect is completely understandable in the context of people’s doubt and cynicism despite his long-term and vocal anti-doping stance – what else can he say or do?
@Oli
I think the unbelievable performances are not from Wiggins, but Porte, Rogers,EBH and Froome… how they can drop guys like Evans, Basso, Menchov, Scarponi, et al by riding that hard on the front day after day is what I find hard to swallow.
Rogers has been involved in many dirty teams, Telekom, Quickstep (towing Virenque up Cols), Mapei… and has made some comments in the past which were more pro-Omerta than anti-doping. He’s a shady one.
@brett You just want them to all be guilty, you wanker cunt! You wear your cynicism like a bogan wears ugg boots.
…a bogan chick wears ugg boots…
From BikeSnob.
@Oli
I’m not taking a side. Cynical, not allied. He said all the right things after the dust settled. The people preceeding him took all the righteous speeches and paths and shit on them. I just want an end to incompetent prosecutions. Either do it and get it right or don’t bother- isn’t that what our father’s taught us? Because these failed attempts only bolster the case of doping being a legit path to success- just pick smart people to help you.
Absolutely.
@brett
Evans – 3 on one cracked him. Scarponi and Basso rode the Giro no? Even Contador couldn’t back up that well last year, even though the courses are much different. Mechov, really? Why not Vino, or Valverde? Cos they can’t be fucked. They know they’re not goingt o win so they’re taking a scenic tour of France.
Doesn’t imply Wiggles isn’t doping, or Porte or Rogers. Why is Oli calling you a C**t all the time?
@minion Who de cap fit, let dem wear it…
@gaswepass, eightzero etc… everyone who is saying yeah, yeah but we’ve heard this before and got burned.
Perhaps also look at the numbers to see the difference between these guys and the ones who have so disillusioned you and many others, or who are questioning the performances of the team.
According to the data Nibali was doing 5.6 watts/kg in the yellow jersey group on Stage 11 – compared to Pantani, Ullrich, Armstrong who regularly churned out 6.5 watts/kg.
That’s a pretty significant difference – the same as world-class marathon times being 10 minutes slower.
Overall the performances of Evans, Wiggins, Hesjedal, the Schlecks etc are similarly less powerful than the doping generation of riders. We don’t see that because we watch a race head to head, but Armstrong and his era would have been on the podium by the time these guys crossed the line.
So if you think you’ve heard it all before, then at least recognise you are seeing something different.
@Chris
It was a self gratuious
@Chris
Damn me on a iPad fat finger touchy screen.
It was a self gratuitous post of a non Assos babe in response to Astana fisher. Stephanie being Belgium in national colours made it that little more ‘special’ with homage to Boonen. Who cares?
BTW just enjoyed a glass or four of South Oz Shiraz.
Like to see a Voeckler win for Bastille day.
@Buck Rogers
Figured he’d be relegated when I watched it. Pretty surprised at the docking of points, though. Harsh, IMO.
@Blah
Here’s an interview including Robbie McEwan
@sthilzy
Sounds like Aussie rules commentators when they say a defender did technically break the rules, but not much. Problem is, they broke the rules just enough to stop the forward getting the ball and kicking a goal.
That is, Goss moved at just the right time and just enough to stop Sagan’s move. Not much, but it certainly ended the sprint. I think Goss went early, and knew it. He moved over and knew what he was doing. Whether or not Sagan could come around we’ll never know. In a two up sprint like this there’s no ‘that’s sprinting’ to say when you deviate.
I don’t buy that it was all that dangerous – Sagan had enough room to bail, which he had to. Relegation to back of bunch (ie, he and Sagan) was the right decision, docking 30 points is just freaky.
@Blah
Speaking of Aussie rules, gotta love the AFL jerseys running up the mountain stages!
Spotted, Tigers, Hawks, Roos or Magpies.
Evans isn’t going down without a fight is he ?
I think there was a bit of panic in Sky for a few moments there, and Wiggins had to do it for himself.
Shame that move to set EBH up didn’t quite work.
Anyone fancy some making some wild speculations on when Cav is going to quit the race?
Anyone know how long Cav and Froome’s contracts with Sky are for? If Wiggo and Froome finish 1-2, I can see a major bidding war for Froome from other teams next year. Even if Froome doesn’t leave, I’m sure Cav will want to because that means in 2013 he’ll be left to his own devices again as Sky go for the GC win again. Frankly I can’t imagine he’s super happy with one stage win so far.
Why the hell did I swap Menchov for Van Den Broucke? Dammit!
@motor city
Not so sure about that. I saw an interview with Cav and he was saying that one of his main goals was to win on the Champs Elysees for something like the 3rd year in a row. I think it would be a record
@wiscot
Froome signed up to Sky for three years not that long ago.
I don’t know how long Cav signed for but I’d expect it to be about the same.
@San Tonio
And he(Cav)’s using le tour to set him up for the Olympics, he won’t quit.
@Oli
LOL. Stop doing that, my work colleagues looking at me funny, as I sit here giggling to myself.
@wiscot
I read an interview somewhere, and Cav knows what is going on and understands that they are going for the GC.
@sthilzy
Yep – love to see it. Saw a Bombers the other day. Nice.
Any Boosh fans?
Who’s the King of the Mods?
Hmm… Anyone else see my pic? I just see a frame with a symbol in the centre. Bummer.
@Blah Can’t see it, soz.
King of the mods is prolly Paul Weller. Don’t get the Boosh ref tho.
Not sure if this will work…
Vince Noir is King of the Mods
http://youtu.be/6KJVjBuSrZ0
@ChrisO
I appreciate the data, hopefully its indicative. But I just want to be clear: I don’t care that much because I have zero control and its really not that important to me. I race as a masters racer, and I make the choices I make (in my case no performance enhancers except the hangover from nanobrew or burgundy the nite before). My results are relative to the people at my level. (everyone else is faster…)
As a fan, I assume they perform on a level playing field, whether all or none or some dope. So be it. Its a non issue to me.
However, the ongoing incompetence of the people who are convinced they will prove him guilty is- they continue to draw attention to their failure, much more so than Lance’s guilt. That empowers the the people who are reaching out to the next generation, as I said earlier, and that message is a problem.
Oh, and how did I end up in the twilight zone, btw? Oli and I are in agreement. Cheers, mate.
@napolinige
Gotcha, Vince is indeed king of the mods. Strictly speaking though, it should be the ace face.
Try again, then give up:
There we go.
@Blah LOL :-D
@meursault
I cycle past the Grand hotel in Brighton, at least 6 times a week on my way to work. When its real bad weather, sideways rain, hail etc I shout BELL BOY as I ride past for my own amusement. It makes the ride instantly better.
I liked the tone of the Wiggins editorial. Came across as honest w/o any of the “victim.”
I’m a fan after yesterday though. In yellow and part of the lead out for another team member? Spot fucking on.
@brianc That was very cool.
@Oli I had to look up bogan. It’s like your version of redneck. I like it. Now they’re wearing Ugg boots with pajama pants in public as if to say ‘hey, I’ve transcended self-respect’. I’ve chased students out of my class for wearing pajama pants.
I’ve had this conversation:
“Hey, Marko – can I use you as a reference for this cool job I’ve applied for?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because you wear pajamas to class.”
Fair dinkum that Andre Greipel is a good bloke! Did anyone just see him pedal up to Bernie Eisel who’d been driving the peloton for the last half hour and ask permission to mop up the remaining 2 intermediate sprint points?
Very cool.
@Harminator
Yes I saw that, do you reckon Eisel said “Well I’m not gonna risk sprinting alongside you and your elbows”, while riding along Gorilla style, elbows out and sharp looking.