Velominati Super Prestige: Tour de France 2012
We are proud to announce a change to the Velominati Super Prestige moving forward: sponsorship. We are delighted (if a little surprised) at the interest our partners showed in this endeavor, despite the short notice we gave them. Four sponsors will be gracing the sides of our team bus for this year’s race: fi’zi:k is our Super Domestique Sponsor (think Big George without the shoe covers because who’d want to cover those beauties up), while the leadout train is being rounded out by DeFeet, Pavé Cycling Classics, and Malteni Beer. As we all know, fizik gets a lot of love around here as the Contact Point Supplier, and for good reason. So we thought now is as good a time as any to announce that DeFeet has agreed to come on board as Flandrian Best Supplier, the Pavé boys, our trusted guides over the stones and bergs, and Malteni Biere which fills our bidon and keeps us making bad decisions like teaming up with the Pavé boys.
So what does Super Domestique Sponsor mean? Free shoes to the winners – that’s what it means, dillwhips. Free R3’s, yup the Aristocrats, to the three winners of the VSP: TdF GC Winner and the two Stage VSP’s. As you watch this year’s race, look for the likes of Jeremy Roy and Richie Porte riding the R3’s in complete Rule Compliance. As Leadout Sponsor, Defeet is providing a full Flandrian Best Kit including a base layer, Armskins, Kneekers, and Slipstream Belgian booties for the VSP: Tdf GC second place as well plus two pairs of D-Logo socks to each runner-up of the Stage VSP’s. The Pavé boys (also Leadout Sponsors) are putting up a limited Pavé Cycling Classics wool jersey awarded to third place. We can’t ship Malteni (also Leadout Sponsors) legally, so you’ll just have to wait until you’re in Belgium to guzzle some of that lovely nectar or join the Pavé boys for their Worlds Weekend tour with Johan Museeuw where they’ll get you stupid(er) on the stuff.
Gianni’s Ruminations
Finally, the date has arrived. We have all done our training through the winter, contested the Spring Classics, The Ardennes Races, Romandie, Oh the Giro, The Dauphine, Tour de Swiss. Not all were in the VSP schedule but I know most of you wrote down your picks for the others and tucked them under your pillows. It’s training. There has been time to taper down before Saturday’s prologue start in Liége, Belgium. A young neo-pro, The Fish, is leading in points. The hardened veterans have seen these youth come and go, the season is long. A touch of wheels, a moment of youthful idealism, Vladimir Karpets is picked to podium, The Fish goes down, he panics and by the time he is back up he will never see the front again. Or he will continue to mock us all with his astute choices and lead all the way to Lombardy.
I have staked my claim on the yellow kit ownership some time ago and still see this as an epic Cadel-Wiggo battle to the death and if not death, until one of them sits up. But this year might be the time the youth start to fill up the other three places in the top five.
The Shack’s team car has been crashing into every static object all spring and now Bruyneel has been yanked out of the driver’s seat. The ride can only get smoother but with the reluctant leader Frank Schleck staring at over 100km of prologue and time trialing, as was said in the bunker, they are going stage hunting. I could go on for hours about the 2012 TdF but we have other Keepers who need to vent.
Please check the VSP page for the rules, keep an eye on the awesome VSP countdown timer, don’t Delgado your picks. Here is the start list.
I have to give a shout out to a brave group of Velominati who are heading to the Vermont/Canadian border to draft behind a massive dump truck full of Awesome all the way to the Massachusetts state line. It’s a Cogal only deranged people would attempt and as luck would have it, we supply them here. I hope they get their picks in soon as they may be in no kind of shape on Friday to think about such important things.
Brett’s Misconceptions
It’s all about Fränk. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to hold him back. Deliberately sucking all year so far, crashing and quitting, a hint of form, Bruyneel slinks off to deflect attention (and suspicion), Fränk suddenly can time trial and a couple of Pharmy style attacks later he wins in Paris by two minutes, taking the sprint on the Champs Elysees for good measure. Maybe not the last bit. Fränk will, however, finish in lil bro’s favourite position. Or suddenly leave with a stomach bug.
Cadel will take this. It’s perfect. All the pressure’s off. No lil bro to worry about in the mountains. Deliberately almost sucking so far, but not. Hints of form, staying low, deflecting attention. Look after the time trials and command the mountains. Safe, not exciting. Or he’ll step on someone else’s dog, breaking his elbow and decapitating the dog.
Wiggo could take this. It’s perfect. A lot of form. A lot of km’s against the clock. Not too many big hills. Too tall socks. Cav left to fight alone. One bad day is waiting there though, the sort of bad day that not even winning the final TT by 2 minutes can alleviate. Or he’ll crash in the first week, breaking both elbows after getting a sideburn caught in his crazy bio pace chainrings.
Sagan will win the first twelve stages, then leave with a stomach bug. Gossy will gratefully step into the vacant green in the greatest heist since Gerro won San Remo. And the Rug Salesman will be all spotty, due to getting in a long break and not sucking as much as even he expected. That’ll help him to 5th and Zubeldia level evanescence.
None of this may actually come close to happening, but whatever does I hope it’s an exciting race. Good luck to those battling hard for three weeks in the VSP race too, it could just turn out to be the main point of interest a couple of weeks from now.
Marko’s Reckoning
The Fish loses two spots on the G.C. but manages to eek out a pair of R3s in a sub-VSP as G’phant peaks in le Grande Boucle and walks away with le Grande Bouprize. Sad thing is, G’phant is legend but nobody remembers him because he only shows for races, not group rides anymore. Fausto rides a calculated, if not boring, race to move up a spot but just misses out. Gianni gets a glimpse of the podium going into the 16th stage and the Tourmalet but drowns in a lactic acid and caffeine soaked bath in that stage’s VSP. Marko Delgados virtually the entire event while he continues building his family a house in direct violation of Rule #11, which is more than we can say for Brett and Frank who were last seen going in the opposite direction with Bruyneel in a Radiotreksanshack team car dragging a muffler through Liege on its way to a USADA hearing near Austin.
In the meantime, two dudes from the Commonwealth – one with sideburns approaching muttonchops and another with an ass on his chin – duel it out in France. There will be some Italian, Spanish, and Russian dudes there too in an epic the likes of which hasn’t been seen in years. Fuck Yeah people, Vive le Tour.
Frank’s Delusions
It happens every single time. I get all weepy-eyed about the Giro and how it’s the Velominatus’ choice for a Grand Tour. Less crazy, better terrain, a comparatively weaker field usually yielding a closer race. But come the Tour, I get all starstruck as the big names line up in the best form they could muster for the season.
I also had decided to pick Twiggo for the big win, but now I’m not so sure. I love that the guy is tall and can get over a mountain, but there is one irrefutable fact that I can’t get over. He looks much too much like Gianni’s avatar, only not as well-kept. The sardonic look on his face along with those whispy sideburns are just too much for me to take. I’m back to rolling with my heart and my questionable sensibilities to favor Grimpelder this time round, now that he’s out of the shadow of his little brother and will be able to put the swivelnecking energy into the pedals instead of looking behind him.
The good news is that the racing always winds up being awesome. And that’s what its about: panache. So long as Wiggo doesn’t pull an Indurain and take 6 minutes on an early TT, I’ll be happy.
Epilogue
Pick carefully, don’t Delgado, and think twice about those rest day swaps; they come at a heavy price and there are some nice prizes on the line which make the Velominati Shop Apron look like a Schleck’s chamois during the descent of the Peyresourde.
The Fine Print: each contestant is of course encouraged to enter all VSP events, but everyone is eligible to take the prizes on only one VSP. If a contestant takes more than one VSP event (GC or Stage) the prize for that VSP will then be awarded to the player with the next highest score. In the event of a tie we’ll do our best to find the fairest way to break the tie. If something doesn’t make sense, please ask; we’re making this up as we go along.
Get your picks in by the time the countdown clock goes to zero, and good luck. Vive le Tour.
@Adrian
Yes but Gadret will be relieved, now there’s someone else to take his title.
@Adrian
Eeh Gads, it’s getting like frickin Eastenders – young people today – pah!! – they aren’t even any good at making up excuses – “I saw him puncture, but I thought there was another BMC rider with him”, or words to that effect – slow mo replay shows him swivel necking, realising that as usual he was the only BMC rider with Evans and thought, at least I have a leader’s jersey, I’m off – I can’t lip read partuicularly well, but looked like Evans was bellowing Teeeee Jayyyyyy at the top of his voice at TJvG, followed by a sarcastic round of applause in his direction
Someone needs to send all the riders a booklet on teamworking….
No wonder the over 50s only racing is becoming so popular over here!
Poor BMC are making an awful horlicks of things so far – would make for a cracking montage if anyone felt particularly spiteful
@Dr C +1. I was happy to give him the benefit of the doubt after he rode away from Wiggo the other day and his strumpet sounded off on twitter. He seems to think that he should be getting some extra recognition for staying behind and helping out when he could be off winning the thing for himself.
He could become a great rider but at the moment he’s also showing potential to morph into a bit of a COTHO.
@Chris
agreed – currently he’s being a bit of a petulant twat
one only needs to look at his pretty empty palmares before he joined Sky to see what being part of the minimal gains setup has done for him – never bite the hand that feeds you dingbat
That said, I like TJvG, as he seems to be just a bit of a kid, and is happy to admit he made an error, and even if he harbours greater ambition, at least he keeps that to himself
If Froome shoots off and leaves Wiggo on a climb, and wins the Tour, he won’t get the accolade he will get if he comes 2nd after helping GB’s favourite cyclist get top spot – if he attacks and doesn’t win the Tour, it could be the greatest mistake he ever makes, as no-one will ever trust him – time will tell
@Dr C
He certainly wouldn’t get a warm welcome going over Box Hill in the Olympic Road Race or in the Tour of Britain which I would imagine would be fun to do if you were part of Bradley’s Tour winning team.
That said, I don’t think he will take on Wiggo this time round, it’s more a case of his not keeping his mouth shut or sounding like a team player.
Actually, if he is such a swinging big dick, maybe he should try to win the Giro first – that’ll harden him, especially if Bertie does it
@Dr C Bertie and Froome Froome duelling on the Mortirolo and Stelvio. I’d watch that.
@Chris
given he has never to my knowledge been a team leader at this level, this might be a better way for him to earn his stripes, and some team respect – do your time muthaf…er
yes, I’d definitely watch that too!
@Dr C Absolutely, it’s easy to look good when your surround by talent and protected in the way that he has been this time round.
Only a couple more posts and it won’t just be British dominance of the TdF. We’ll have taken over the Recent Posts column as well.
Solid work – I feel a certain responsibility as Maillot Jaune to keep the pressure on – nothing like a good rant to fill the column inches
From Cycling Tips:
les salauds
@Chris
Speaking of which, did you see Mick Rogers and Richie Porte were saying they were being booed by Aussies along the road for being in Wiggins’ team and working against Evans. Charming.
As for Froome, if he was that confident in his abilities why didn’t he take the offers on the table after the Vuelta. He made his choice, presumably for decent money and bonuses, so he should STFU and ride.
@ChrisO
That’s fairly moronic, shouldn’t they also have a go at bum face for not riding on the Australian team?
Each country has it’s own particular brand of dickhead but there’s nothing like a large televised event to bring out the aussie bloke, with no understanding of the event, draped in a boxing kangaroo flag and carrying the remnants of his case of tinnies. Isn’t it part of the walkabout ritual of travelling the world under the guise of experiencing the culture of other countries that so often ends up with the traveller forgetting where he came from and getting a job as a barman in a Walkabout pub on the Kings Road?
It’s sad to see Froome turning what could be such an amazing thing into a negative, especially when you consider how Cav has accepted, that for whatever reason, this is not his year and gotten on with working for the team.
@ChrisO, @Chris +3 or 4 on this chaps
Indeed, the comparison with Cav is the most telling
Aussies….what else can one say
Bless poor Higgs Boson and Bernie – having some problem herding the cats today it seems!!
14:57:16 CEST
Boasson Hagen is beginning to look a bit put out. He wants to control things, but the other riders are just not cooperating.
15:04:33 CEST
Bernhard Eisel is the next Sky rider to indicate to the peloton that this is just about enough of this. Sky is ready to either let a group go, or they should all stay. But they don’t want more of this constant “attack attack attack”.
….makes me wonder how the peleton decide who can go off on a flyer – is it friendships, disdain, boredom, misinterpretations, hunger, betting, or all of the aforementioned?
@Dr C
Jolly good show old chaps. Lets put those damned Australians in their place shall we?
Perhaps our football fans should teach them how to behave! And should we send some of our kin down under to teach them how to be a proper cultural tourist? Spiffing!
What business do they have on the Continent anyway? Oh. Twelve riders in the Tour? Well we’d have five if we can count the Scot, the South African and the Manxman.
I hope there’s no colonials on our man Wiggins’ team!
Whats that? One of then fathered our Bradley? Well I never!
Yehaa!! Love it
@harminator you ought to be careful with an attitude like that living in Sydney, you might offend the locals.
If those uncouth Australian ‘fans’ show their faces again, let me know and I’ll contact our Cultural Attaché.
@Harminator isn’t he related to the Tour Down Under podium girl?
Don’t knock him, Les Patterson was the first funny thing to come out of Oz
Can you take Jason Donovan and Kylie Minnow back please
Alright I know I was dead tired from work and study time yesterday, but I thought today was a rest day.
@DerHoggz
Man, I missed a TON of gold in this thread over the last 24 hours.
Surrender Monkeys? Never had heard that term but it cracks me up. Got to love that one. And the F Schleck comment above mad eme spit my coke zero all over the place.
Beautiful stuff gentlemen, keep it coming!
@RedRanger
in the Tour, or on the V-site international harranguing??
@Steampunk
Mus be a different translation, Steamy. Couldn’t be the same book.
@Dr C
I think this is what Froome has decided he wants: To be let go to the free market. I believe that he is locked into a three year deal currently and, after this tour, he reckons his stock will have risen way high and he could possibly ink a 7 figure deal. So he starts sowing some bad seeds now and hopes that they will let him go at seasons end.
@Dr C
Le Tour.
This tour is all about the break away eh?
@RedRanger
Well the commissaires fucked up the green jersey race didn’t they.
@harminator
Not sure anyone would have got ahead of Sagan in this form even without the crashes
@Dr C
Probably not. But now he’s not even having to fight for it. The intermediates are a non event.
@Dr C
Do you mean the Vuelta? I would love to see someone stomp the Second Coming (of COTHO) in that. Hopefullyy whuile that is happening a tifosi runs up and offers him a nice cut of beef.
@ChrisO
I broke the comment system. Didn’t the Germans do that once when Jens reeled Ullrich in to put Nibali close, and inadvertantly brought Lance along. I remember seeing a video where Jens was very upset.
@Buck Rogers
No, didn’t put it down, wrote my post while still holding the book.
@meursault our man Marko had a crack at a similar article a while back
http://www.velominati.com/racing/riders-who-put-the-v-in-diva-federico-bahamontes/
Thanks Mikael, Will take a look. I am fascinated by Krabbes alpine metaphor. You don’t ask why the climber climbs the mountain, you ask why he doesn’t.
@meursault
NICE!
Out of range yesterday and didn’t see the stage until the evening.
Several observations:
Topic for discussion, and forgive me if its been raised already; I looked but I didn’t see it:
No one seems terribly upset by the neutralizing of the race with the tacks. Is this different from the oil-slick neutralization in 2010 on the Cote de Stokeau, which nearly caused rioting?
@frank
Umm, yeah. Sabotage is different than being a big pussy that can’t descend in the rain (and shift, TT, comb your hair, etc).
@Buck Rogers
Ironically the Froome-lemica reminds me of the time Wiggo compared the team that made him into a GC rider to a third-rate football club.
@Buck Rogers
Here you go on the CESMs.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rJAw-fuYHk
@Cyclops
Well that’s just the point, isn’t it? Those crashes were caused by the race moto that crashed and cracked its oil pan and leaked oil all over the road.
Not sabotage, but pandemonium caused by conditions outside the rider’s control.
@Nate
This all has to be a joke and just media diversion to stop us asking about drugs. It smells way too much like LeMond/Hinault in 1985.
In response to the 2013 Tour route:
@wiscot
Oh man, that made my day! Too funny.
I’m sure it has been shared before (hell, I might have even shared it) but it is just too apropos: Do you know why there are trees planted all along the Champs Elysees?
The Germans like to march in the shade.
Speaking of the upcoming Olympics, I’m in the area on hols and am planning to go see the race. Can’t get to Box Hill but anyone got suggestions for good alternative viewing points?
The consensus in blighty is that Richmond Park will be the place to be.
Not really related to the VSP, but here’s some shots from out trip over to the tour last week. Our campsite was just round the corner from where the caravan assembled in Saint Jean de Maurienne.
We then camped out outside the Sky battle bus. The highlight had to be Boss Hog and how good he was with the Norwegian fans.
Here’s a pic of him signing autographs for the fans
This next pic was as they rolled out of town. Not the best granted, but it shows Wiggo riding out alongside the stage winner Millar.
One last shot of a bike…
I’ll throw this photo into the discussions about Sagan. Breast signing this morning:
@936adl
I need to look into this in greater detail. I wanted to find a point that they pass on the 9 loops of Box Hill that isn’t ticketed. I realise that a lot of it is shut off but I hoped there is a point they pass at the base that isn’t, not sure if this is possible?
Olympics related, I rode home from work tonight along the route that the torch was going down in Brighton, I was around 1 hour ahead of the procession so the roads were shut to cars. It was quite exciting riding past loads of people stood at the roadside with their flags ready to wave. I would of hung around to see the torch but it was pissing with rain.
@motor city
Man, I’m in the wrong profession.