Orange and Orange? Yes please.

Anatomy of a Photo: Sock & Shoe Game

by / / 108 posts

I know as well as any of you that I’ve been checked out lately, kind of like Luke Skywalker hiding away on Ahch-To. But unlike Luke – who cut himself off from The Force – I haven’t cut myself off from The V, so I find myself compelled to take a moment out to celebrate Billions and Billions‘s sock and shoe game.

Massive love happening here.

// Anatomy of a Photo

  1. Well, well, well. Nice to see you back!

    Me? Pure white Shimano R9s are just waiting for their maiden outdoor ride. (I live in WI, so it might be a while.) And, as always, socks will be white, or maybe, just maybe, black, but no colors FFS. This is not the 80s and we are not riding mountain bikes.

    Speaking of shoes, I’ve a sweet pair of blue and white Sidis looking for a new home at a keen price. Size 44.

  2. Hey @Frank – how’s the shoulder?

  3. Holy shit @Frank’s alive!

    Awesome. Now let’s get this site back on track, sort your mates out, I’ve no doubt they earned it and let’s say the last 7 months were just a dream.

    Socks black or white. None of those fashion statement things please.

  4. @JohnB

    Socks black or white. None of those fashion statement things please.

    A-Merckx todo that!

  5. Well, this is a pleasant surprise. I assume it was because of all the nostalgic music posts this week that inspired getting the band back together.

    I will be wearing white, traditional length socks for this weekend’s rides. I’m no Sagan, after all. On a good day I might be able to out sprint his grandmother.

  6. @MangoDave

    Well, this is a pleasant surprise. I assume it was because of all the nostalgic music posts this week that inspired getting the band back together.

    I will be wearing white, traditional length socks for this weekend’s rides. I’m no Sagan, after all. On a good day I might be able to out sprint his grandmother.

    0

    I will be wearing white, traditional length socks for this weekend’s rides.

    Merckx bless you sir, bless you.For you are clearly a righteous man.

  7. @Tomás Leal Elgueda

    Praised be Merckx! So good to see a new post from you Frank that I decided to finally register after years of silent sidelines-watching the site.

    Thought that Velominati has gone the way of the dodo!

    Regarding Sagan: He’s a rockstar, can do whatever the fuck he want, but he’s wearing the rainbow bands, FFS! Black shoes and white socks (with no rainbow bands, mind you) should be mandatory for world champions.

    Happy to see the site and @frank alive and well again.

    0

    dildo more likely than dodo

  8. I cannot wait to see the end of the ridicoulsy tall socks fad. What was considered standard sock length five or six years ago right now is seen as unacceptably short. Since slightly taller socks started being considered cool, the self-proclaimed cool kids wore them slightly longer, and right now we are in a situation were each season the socks are 1 or 2 cm longer on average than the year before. Some are even approaching the UCI maximum sock height limit, the middle point between knee and ankle (thanks UCI for this rule that everyone laughed at, you got it right for once).

    It only seams reasonable that the right sock height remains at the narrowest point of the leg, a few cm above the ankle. There, the shape of the leg keeps the sock in place without any need for tight elastic bands at the end. Also, they are long enough to be clearly visible, but still let the legs themselves be the main focus of attention, as they should.

    And in case there was any doubt, just google pictures of Mercx. Yes, it was a long time ago, but those guys got it right.

  9. What a pleasant surprise. Just happened to check in, half expecting to see the broom wagon. There’s a place on the internets for this place. What’s next? Cameo appearance from Lance?

  10. Frank. Sagan. Socks.

    Life’s good.

    1
  11. White sox and black shoes are soooooo uncool… really ? Cheers all

  12. @RobSandy

    Holy shit Frank, welcome back.

    Sagan can do what the fuck he likes. The end.

    0

    I agree Sagan could wear socks with tassels on the back, who the F are we to say. Although I think neon wear can only be worn if you can lay enough smack down to where your friends are unable to heckle you from the throw up in their mouths…

  13. Yo Frank! Rule #28! Going to get me some fluoro now!

  14. @frank Well at least we know you have internet access… how about using it to email us.

    3
  15. Good to see you back Frank. Kind of like old boys weekend here. Where’s the keg?

  16. @xyxax

    Come now: we are not animals.

  17. @blau

    It only seams reasonable that the right sock height remains at the narrowest point of the leg, a few cm above the ankle. There, the shape of the leg keeps the sock in place without any need for tight elastic bands at the end. Also, they are long enough to be clearly visible, but still let the legs themselves be the main focus of attention, as they should.

    You nailed it my friend; you got your physics and physicals synched.

    @Teocalli: I also thought this was another rerun of some old articles and seeing “2018” for the first time on this site made me blink several times (OK, is also early Monday morning in the office).

    @Steampunk: Presume you have 2 pairs of these shoes, right?

  18. @Steampunk

    Incidentally: the summer’s footwear will appear thusly. It helps with my drive-side/non-drive-side.

    1

    Fixed your post

  19. @Steampunk

    @xyxax

    Come now: we are not animals.

    0

    You’re right. Animals would not increase their sock height as the varicose veins head north.

    @MangoDave

    @Steampunk

    Incidentally: the summer’s footwear will appear thusly. It helps with my drive-side/non-drive-side.

    1

    Fixed your post

    0

    Always having one greasy shoe and one clean tells me which foot they belong to. Is that only me?

  20. @xyxax

    Incidentally: the summer’s footwear will appear thusly. It helps with my drive-side/non-drive-side.

    1

    Always having one greasy shoe and one clean tells me which foot they belong to. Is that only me?

    0

    Seems like you’re doing something wrong! Never had that problem.

  21. @MangoDave @KogaLover

    I’m with @xyxax on this one. If I could interchange the shoes, I’d lose track of everything. One pink. One yellow. Any more than that would be excessive. And extra weight.

  22. @xyxax

    I learned when I were nowt but a kid that my left shoe and right shoe were different shapes. I guess that’s wa edukashun duz fur yer.

  23. @Teocalli

    @xyxax

    I learned when I were nowt but a kid that my left shoe and right shoe were different shapes. I guess that’s wa edukashun duz fur yer.

    0

    Now, see? I got learnt when I was but knee-high to a grasshopper that there were dextrorotatory and laevorotatory optical isomers of a thing called a “shoe”.

    So I went barefoot.

    1
  24. oh, and I forgot: NOSE MAGNETS

  25. @xyxax

    Me nose is big enough as it is already, thank you very much

  26. I know that I am in the minority, however, I still wish the tall sock thing would just die and go away.

    It is like a perpetual bad penny from the supreme twat waffle…

  27. @Robert Sobon

    I know that I am in the minority, however, I still wish the tall sock thing would just die and go away.

    It is like a perpetual bad penny from the supreme twat waffle…

    0

    I’m proud to join you in that minority. I even find socks covered in logos offensive. Plain white, or maybe black is the way to go.

    1
  28. @wiscot

    To me, the best cuff length is that of Assos. The Spring/Fall sock is what I am thinking of specifically. And, as a benefit to you, little in the way of logo…

    1
  29. @Frank Great to have you back and to see some new content! Keep it coming and make it something more substantial than an AOP! And sort things out with your fellow keepers if its not too late.

    Socks: White in the summer and dark charcoal woolie boolies in the winter. Not short but certainly not too long. Winter height should be appropriate to your shoe covers.

    Whilst I’m not a massive fan of dayglo socks at all, Angus is and I’m reluctant to intervene; he’s young and needs to express himself. It also stops him stealing my socks. Especially my V-socks. Especially for ‘cross. I’m also failing miserably at preventing him from riding in non-cycling socks.

    His usual retort is that we’ll have the sock conversation when I can keep up with him.

    Non-cycling sock abuse:

    Dayglo monstrosities

    V-Sock Theft

  30. @chris

    Remind him who used to wear Nike socks………?

  31. @Teocalli

    @chris

    Remind him who used to wear Nike socks………?

    0

    I think he’s trying to look Euro. It’s a Thing.

    Our juniors go on about it all the time. One of them rode the last club hill climb in a long sleeve baselayer with bib tights over the top, full finger gloves. It was Euro.

  32. @RobSandy

    @Teocalli

    @chris

    Remind him who used to wear Nike socks………?

    0

    I think he’s trying to look Euro. It’s a Thing.

    Our juniors go on about it all the time. One of them rode the last club hill climb in a long sleeve baselayer with bib tights over the top, full finger gloves. It was Euro.

    0

    Bib tights over the top of what? Not his LS base layer? That sounds fucking hideous.

    I hadn’t realised Euro was a thing with the young people. Angus has never mentioned it but he’s a Youth rather than a Junior. Maybe that is still to come. Perhaps they’re referring to this.

    Euro brings to mind Italian teams with arm and leg warmers that match the main colour of their jerseys and a billion sponsor logos. And absolute overkill when it comes to scarves, buffs and snoods. Fortunately, Angus has recently ditched his red legwarmers.

  33. @chris

    @RobSandy

    @Teocalli

    @chris

    Remind him who used to wear Nike socks………?

    0

    I think he’s trying to look Euro. It’s a Thing.

    Our juniors go on about it all the time. One of them rode the last club hill climb in a long sleeve baselayer with bib tights over the top, full finger gloves. It was Euro.

    0

    Bib tights over the top of what? Not his LS base layer? That sounds fucking hideous.

    Yes, and yes. It was baffling.

    I hadn’t realised Euro was a thing with the young people. Angus has never mentioned it but he’s a Youth rather than a Junior. Maybe that is still to come. Perhaps they’re referring to this.

    Euro brings to mind Italian teams with arm and leg warmers that match the main colour of their jerseys and a billion sponsor logos. And absolute overkill when it comes to scarves, buffs and snoods. Fortunately, Angus has recently ditched his red legwarmers.

    Yep, that’s the thing. And lots of fluoro.

  34. @RobSandy

    @chris

    @RobSandy

    Our juniors go on about it all the time. One of them rode the last club hill climb in a long sleeve baselayer with bib tights over the top, full finger gloves. It was Euro.

    0

    Bib tights over the top of what? Not his LS base layer? That sounds fucking hideous.

    Yes, and yes. It was baffling.

    Usually, I’d have suggested that it was because he was Welsh and it may have had something to do with sheep but you would have thought the Welsh cycling youth of today would know better given the sterling efforts of Geraint Thomas as a role model.

  35. @chris

    That kid has the eye of the Tiger about him! Looking mighty pro for one so young. Good on him!

    1
  36. @xyxax

    NOSE MAGNETS

    Are we moving on from nipple lube. This doesn’t sound as comfortable.

  37. @chris

    Our juniors go on about it all the time. One of them rode the last club hill climb in a long sleeve baselayer with bib tights over the top, full finger gloves. It was Euro.

    0

    Bib tights over the top of what? Not his LS base layer? That sounds fucking hideous.

    Yes, and yes. It was baffling.

    Usually, I’d have suggested that it was because he was Welsh and it may have had something to do with sheep but you would have thought the Welsh cycling youth of today would know better given the sterling efforts of Geraint Thomas as a role model.

    0

    I’d have taken the piss out of him more but even at 15 he can rip my legs off any day of the week so I doubt he’d have cared.

  38. @RobSandy

    I’d have taken the piss out of him more but even at 15 he can rip my legs off any day of the week so I doubt he’d have cared.

    I’ve got the same problem with Angus he is about to turn 15 and will happily rip my legs off.

    It’s eight weeks until RVV. We’re riding with a few other A Group riders from the club. I haven’t been on the bike for a month due to a kidney stone and it feels like all the good work I’d put in before Christmas has ebbed away. I’m hoping to get the all clear to train early next week but it’s going to be hard to achieve the sort of form I’m going to need to keep up.

  39. @wiscot

    @chris

    That kid has the eye of the Tiger about him! Looking mighty pro for one so young. Good on him!

    0

    Thanks. He’s at that age where he’s beginning to care more about how he looks on and off the bike. He’s also getting quite good at turning himself inside out racing and training. He was in bits after last nights FTP test.

  40. @chris

    @wiscot

    @chris

    That kid has the eye of the Tiger about him! Looking mighty pro for one so young. Good on him!

    0

    Thanks. He’s at that age where he’s beginning to care more about how he looks on and off the bike. He’s also getting quite good at turning himself inside out racing and training. He was in bits after last nights FTP test.

    0

    The Force is strong with this one.

    Is his FTP higher than yours now? Must be a sobering moment when that first happens.

  41. It’s certainly higher than my last test and things will have only got worse since then. He also has the advantage of being considerably lighter than me – if I’m going to ride up hills with him, matching his FTP won’t be sufficient, I’ll need to be 20% up on him.

    A 20% increase on where he is now is doable but he’s only just started ramping up his training. Who knows where he’s going to be by August when we’ll be on holiday near the Pyrenees.

    I don’t need any sobering thoughts, the kidney stone thing has been sobering enough.

  42. @Frank Welcome back!! And the shoes shall be white…unless it rains!

  43. I know I’m probably in the minority here, but love Sagz’ shoe/sock combo. Of course, this from the guy willing to wear this shoe/sock combo.

  44. @xyxax

    I suspect some bike maintenance is in order.

    Welcome back @Frank

    I’ve been plaintively checking the site but to no avail…

  45. @Phillip Mercer

    In the same vein as the response “Just wear socks” when I complained long ago to a roommate about dirty floors, I may just switch back to wearing black shoes and socks exclusively.

    @chris

    @xyxax

    NOSE MAGNETS

    Are we moving on from nipple lube. This doesn’t sound as comfortable.

    0

    Nothing could ever replace nipple lube, a substance that I also somehow manage to get all over my shoes and socks.

    sigh…

  46. Look: a post.

    I am one with the V; the V is VVith me.

  47. His socks are too high. Also, he needs some white shorts with the World Champion kit. For guidance see the Cipo. The end.

  48. Ok, fine. Hello Frank et al. Wonder if Sagan will ‘sock’ it to them at next week’s Omloop Het Nieuwsblad! I thought about this at length, for which I undoubtedly deserve to be cuffed.

  49. @starclimber

    Ok, fine. Hello Frank et al. Wonder if Sagan will ‘sock’ it to them at next week’s Omloop Het Nieuwsblad! I thought about this at length, for which I undoubtedly deserve to be cuffed.

    0

    It may be hard to tell as I suspect there will be many pairs of Belgian booties being worn! The question is, will Sagan “hose” the opposition?

    1
  50. @wiscot

    @starclimber

    Ok, fine. Hello Frank et al. Wonder if Sagan will ‘sock’ it to them at next week’s Omloop Het Nieuwsblad! I thought about this at length, for which I undoubtedly deserve to be cuffed.

    0

    It may be hard to tell as I suspect there will be many pairs of Belgian booties being worn! The question is, will Sagan “hose” the opposition?

    0

    I’m giving you both a slow handclap for such terrible puns.

    On one hand, if Sagan is going well it’s like he can win these sort of races whenever he wants. On the other hand, these are the most unpredictable races and anything can happen.

    On another note, Spring is on the horizon in the UK. I rode in this morning at 7:30 AM in glorious sunshine with kneewarmers and thin overshoes instead of my full Flandrian best. Felt lovely.

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