The Keepers
Cycling is a mighty sport with a rich and complex history. Every company, racer, piece of kit, and component has a legend, a story behind it; in many cases it also has a personal and nostalgic connection to our lives. While this particular sport is steeped in tradition, it is also fiercely modern, a fact that serves only to deepen its complexity.
All these factors combine to provide an unique atmosphere and breeds devoted and loyal disciples of our great sport. We are of a peculiar nature; we seek out the highest mountains and the roughest roads on which to worship at the altar of the Man with the Hammer. Our legs are what propel us; our minds are what drive us. We refer to our shaved legs in the third person – the legs – and speak of distance in kilometres and measure sizes in centimetres regardless of what country we are in. We adhere strictly to the Canon of Cycling’s Etiquette: The Rules.
A Velominatus is a disciple of the highest order. We spend our days poring over the very essence of what makes ours such a special sport and how that essence fits into Cycling’s colorful fabric. This is the Velominati’s raison d’être. This is where the Velominati can be ourselves. This is our agony – our badge of honor – our sin.
I have a unique way of looking at bicycles. A good bicycle and it’s components are beautiful things to me. I’m not just talking about appearance, but also how the frame and components show the dreams of those who made them.
– Gianni Bugno, Hardman and Italian cycling legend
Perhaps we are too wrapped up in the past, but the Velominati don’t believe that to be the case. After all, the greatest lessons can be learned from the past and those lessons can then be applied to the present and may then allow us to more fully experience the future.
The Keepers:
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The Community:
Velominati.com is less about the articles and more about the conversation. Those of you who read more and poster more, become an integral part of the discussion and help carry the momentum forward. There are several levels of Velominatus*:
Level 4 Velominatus: The casual observer and occasional poster.
Level 3 Velominatus: The regular reader and casual poster.
Level 2 Velominatus: The devoted reader and regular poster.
Level 1 Velominatus: The most committed of reader and poster.
Gray, Black, and Orange Order Velominatus: Once having passed Level 1, the inducted among the Order wear three color badges, based on their rank.
Conduct:
We strive to foster an open, fun, critical, and censure-free environment. Any criticism of our writing, spelling, grammar, or intelligence is welcome and nothing said will ever get you suspended from the site. That said, the code of conduct is governed by Rule #43 and the Piti Principle. Members consistently exhibiting behavior that falls outside these parameters will be warned to check themselves; should warnings go unheeded, we may elect to issue a suspension. The first offense will result in a one-week suspension, the second in a two week suspension, and the third in a three week suspension. A fourth offense will result in a lifetime ban.
Velominati reserves the right to edit posts with the express interest to preserve the spirit of the conversation and the community. Regarding posts that address a grammatical or typographical error, Velominati may elect to take their input, correct the error in the articles where appropriate, and editing posts that point them out. This editorial action is not to serve as a censure entity, but to preserve the spirit of the conversation. That said, we endeavor to only edit those posts that point out a minor issue and only in the event that we make the edit before the post has yielded further discussion. Furthermore, when possible, we will strive to acknowledge said poster for their correction.
Want to contribute a story to the Velominati? Tell us why.
*Levels are calculated based on the previous year’s activity.
Hi, as a newby hear I could do with a hand. How do I get my picture up on my profile? Or is this something I have to earn? Sadly computers and myself don’t get on, Park don’t make a tool to work on PC’s.
Ah, just in time for the Vuelta… but still too early to decipher all the pro-nicknames and to even come close to knowing what the hell I’m talking about (although from my lurking I’ve gathered it’s partly about making it up as you go along) I’ve joined the community.
After a solid quarter century of playing in the dirt with my big wheels I was presented with the opportunity to give road cycling a shot. So in June I purchased a pre-loved Trek 1500 and have proceeded to pimp it out as much as my “budgetatus” status will allow. So far I’ve managed to drop from a 110 stem with a 10* rise to a 120 with a 7* drop and added a Fizik Arione.
As far as Rules go, I’ve managed to get over my Rule #29 issues. The bike is Rule #47 non-compliant but so far I haven’t touched that little fucker, even when the ramp hits the high teens. Hell, I bought the book and have taken a stab at Rule #33. I’m looking forward to hanging out here – officially. Anyone in YVR looking for a ride when the weather turns, Rule #9.
@viking
The images next to your user name come via the website http://www.gravatar.com register on there using the same email address as you used for here & it will carry across.
@Mikael Liddy thanks for that,i never seen a site built like this.
Oh hai! Just joined and I’m sure I’ve probably broken at least 30 rules
@canerican Welcome!
@Roger Ramjet
Shims under the cleats are used to correct more significant Leg length discrepancy, if there are small LLDs cleat position can be used to address that,and sometimes it’s more muscle imbalance forcing you to sit crooked on the saddle rather than LLD. People who have had a broken leg or ankle often have one leg longer than the other, which needs correcting but its something a physio would need to measure and isn’t something you should try and correct yourself based on what you think is going on.
Shims inside the shoes can straighten out the leg drive by supporting the arch and stopping the knee moving towards the top tube as you pedal, but that’s a different issue and not related to having an LLD.
Getting a bike fit is neccessary, IMO, to sort it out, it’s not something you should try and resolve yourself based on how you feel on the bike.
@Dominic Dentry I recently became aware that I was bearing my base layer in front of my regional director at an after party of the recent race here in Fort Collins, CO. I’m so thankful to have some terminology behind my offense! My wife was the one telling me to zip it…which normally refers to offfensive jokes and comments about to come from my mouth.
@canerican
Well, the part that we can see clearly looks pretty nice…
@zioneyez
Did your RD give you a promotion? Or ……. At times it is appropriate to bare it in front of Management.
Not yet, perhaps she had other motives when offering to drive me home…aside from the Maui Brewing porter finished with New Belgium Trippel (2).
i played it all wrong! I’m new to the Rules, but eager to learn the way.
@frank kill with kindness
@canerican
Thank you for visually articulating my hatred of Instagram.
@ChrisO
The only way a photo should look like that is if it actually was black and white (or a guerrotype) with some awesome french/italian/belgian dude from the the pre-70s crushing it on a gravel mountain climb with a Ford Model-T or open top Peugot off in the background cooking the engine trying to keep up. That way the Keepers could engage in a rousing debate about who, when, and where the photo was taken and our collective knowledge of the sport would be that much deeper.
Seriously. From what I can see through the filter blur that bike looks pretty classic/classy. If you want to blur shit play with your depth of field and let us see the subject in full focus with a beautifully muted background a la @Pedale.Forchetta.
@DeKerr
Pedant alert: That would be Daguerrotype, named after Louis Jacques-Mandé Daguerre.
Other than that, bike looks pretty nice – just shoot it from the other side, put your cranks in the proper position and valve stems at 6 o’clock.
@wiscot
and put it on the big ring, FFS.
@wiscot my bad. thank you.
@DeKerr
No problem. I’m a pedant about some things and work in a museum so I’m sensitive to this kind of stuff. Hey, it’s been bit of a baptism by fire, but stick around.
Gentlemen,enjoying reading the Rules. Never to old to learn.
If ever in Perth, Western Australia in October, get in touch, and we may be able to arrange a start for you in the 5PR (five pub ride – see attached)
kind regards
harro
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Greetings all.
I’ve been hanging around the site for a couple of months, and thought it about time I introduced myself.
At the age of 37 (and far too overweight) after riding fairly casually for a couple of years, I decided that I would really give cycling a shot. In May, I told Mrs. KW that I wanted to ride a century in September. She thought I was crazy, but I set about training. I rode as much as I could during the week, and began increasing the miles on the weekends. After a couple of months, I was hooked and the inevitable disagreements began about how much time I spent on the bike.
I began commuting by bike 2-3 days a week (26 miles round trip), and finally convinced her that I was truly serious about this business. I was able to find myself a humble steed (my first ever road bike) that fit the budget (I hold only an advisory vote on the budget committee). I managed to drop about 30 pounds, and was able to complete the century in less time than I had hoped.
I recently joined a local club, and continue to ride as much as I can. I’m afraid that the weather in SE Wisconsin will force me indoors soon, but after nearly 4000km since May, I feel good about my first season on the bike.
OK, that’s quite enough rambling for now. Time to map out the next ride.
@KW
I’m not a Keeper but as a dilataunte of the V, welcome! You sound like, no you are, off to a fantastic start to a journey that will take you many, many places – literally and figuratively – perhaps the latter more importantly? Enjoy the journey and remember this discipline is not intuitive in terms of equipment, position or skills so asking those who know (not those who pose) is the short cut to the true V.
@KW
It sounds like you had a great season. Way to dive in. As you can see, folks here take cycling seriously, but not themselves. Welcome to the fray!
@KW
Chapeau! What a great start to a new passion…
Good day my self-propelled brother’s and sister’s! New guy here and we’re just about at the end of our little ‘cross series here in PDX so I thought it was time to maybe share some hard rock love with you. It’s called “TRAMPLE TRAMPLE TRAMPLE” and it’s got it all: An official announcer,load’s of cow bell, a drum corp and…and.. well it’s got something at it’s core and that’s a sludgy,dirty groove,just like a ‘cross race! Hope you you like it and thanks for inviting me into your awesome sphere! https://voltzjammer1.bandcamp.com/track/ttt-v-2 ( if the link doesn’t work just g-gle Voltzjammer.)
Happy birthday to Le Blaireau! Bernard Hinault turns 59 today. To celebrate, I considered finding someone to punch, but that seemed impolite. Instead, I decided to stare at my bicycle with contempt, then ride it mercilessly into the ground. Tomorrow we’ll make up.
I feel like I have found a safe haven in a cycling world gone mad. I started my journey in 1985, a butcher in my town who raced took me under his wing and taught me to ride. Campagnolo, Rollers, and many of the same rules you are keeping here. He hated tourers and hipsters, and taught me to hate them as well. I still ride hard, and will till I can’t spin a crank.
@Optimiste Before the Honey Badger, there was just The Badger.
I know who I would bet on in a fight.
Nice…”le blaireau” is French slang for “jerk.”
Can some one please tell me why the Velominati cog logo shows a cog with 14 teeth ? I would imagine that in keeping with Rule #5 it should be the 11 that is the more sacred cog.
@Damn IIRC The sacred cog that graced Eddy’s hour record bike was a 14t.
That is exactly why.
Also, The Bro-set XX1 10 tooth is max.
@Chris thanks for clearing that up.
@Waldertron interesting fact about the new Bro-Set cog, never liked the Bro-Set and I was under the impression that it was an unwritten rule that you had to take this piss out of the guys that are on it.
I’ve just realised that somehow I’ve attained “Velominati +1 Contributor ” status. I’ve no idea how that happened, or what is means, but I’m chuffed anyway !
@Mike_P
DOH! It would help if I read @Frank’s replies.
Arrrr, what happened to my Gravatar and dropped from Grey Level to Level 4?
What’d I do?!
Hi,
Been reading the site for a couple of months and thought I would now join the community. I live about 25 miles away from Northern France, albeit across the channel, and feel the ethos on here sums up how I deal with my riding – no real hills, windy and sparse but (flat) views for miles.
I’ll be along for the ride…
I’m glad @brett posted an article today cos there’s been a real absence of Keepers for the last few days. They have either spent the weekend celebrating with @Dan_R (good), or are plotting something (maybe not so good).
@Mike_P
I would say both !
One thing leads to another i.e. over celebration of the greatest “in ya face” and “about face, tail between ya legs” ive seen in a long time, then the collective brains would start ticking over scheming some diabolical tale to enthrall us all.
Its like xmas, waiting for the next tale or picture or article.
Wishing The Keepers and every member of this fabulous, loony community the very best of Christmases, or whatever your particular belief systems care to call it. Have a great one!
Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas and/or Season’s Greetings to All. VLVV.
Can anyone offer up an assist? Planning trip to see Giro with family. Aside from obeying Rule #11, anyone have any travel suggestions for this year’s route. I’m finding that this is logistically much more difficult than Paris Roubaix a few years ago. Then, I just left them in Paris to enjoy themselves. I only need a stage or two.
@ChrisO
Indeed you may, but that image was made with Hipstamatic.
And on that note… Did anyone call out two cages?
Hello all. My name is Lance and I am starting my journey in the Velominati. I look forward to meeting you all.
Pantani would have been 44 on 13 January this year.
@unversio and in one move you’ve opened the floodgates for 5 days of love/hate/worship/denounce/victim/cheat discussion. Well done that man.
@Lance H
Hi Lance. We’re all like alcoholics here but for bikes instead of booze. Welcome.
Tribute
@Tired there’s sisters on this site?