At work or at rest, it's leg day

Every Day is Leg Day

Every Day is Leg Day

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The proclamation is heard in the office, on social media, at the bar with friends; “It’s leg day.” When someone utters “it’s leg day” the accompanying tone of resentment and even dread is usually followed by an audible “ugh”. This exasperation belies one fact, the person making the utterance is not a cyclist. It’s likely they are a part of the Crossfit cult or on a fitness regimen to tone up and look good in a swimsuit. My immediate thought is, no shit it’s leg day, isn’t every day leg day?

As Cyclists, we cultivate our legs ritualistically. They provide the power that propels us deep into the pain cave, to freedom and to exaltation. Sure, we can talk about building the engine that is our heart and lungs. We do intervals, hill repeats, and sprints to increase aerobic capacity but the act of pushing on our pedals is what makes us move. It is our guns and our guns only that provide the visual evidence of our deposits into the V-Bank. The following is a simple list of acts the Velominati partake in that demonstrate that Every Day is Leg Day:

  • Shaving ( Rule #33 )
  • Crisp and clean tan line cultivation ( Rule #7 )
  • Not taking the stairs when the elevator goes to the 2nd floor
  • Recovery Days
  • Getting a Happy DeVlaeminck
  • Not lifting weights, grocery bags, or small children if it can be avoided
  • Gun-oriented narcissism
  • Riding bikes at the exclusion of any other form of exercise except sex (in which case you’ve gone Post-race Kelly and it’s a recovery day and therefore, Leg Day)

The Pros go to great lengths in not using their legs to power anything but their bicycles. Coppi used to have his soigneur carry him up flights of stairs to the hotel room. Hincapie would make sure his phone, remote, and other personal needs were at arms’ length on Recovery Days so he wouldn’t have to get off the couch. I wonder if he looked for apartments in Gerona with the toilet in the living room.

Of course most of us are endomorphs who look to be prepubescent boys with bald legs, baby smooth faces, and farmer’s tans. But our legs, our legs are bronzed and chiseled works of effort that would inspire Michelangelo and be worthy of any swimsuit edition (as long as it focuses on the waist down). So regardless of our buggy-whip arms and pencil-necks, let’s celebrate. The next time you hear someone bemoan their own personal leg day hell, remember that for you as well it is leg day. Take pride in the fact that you are a Velominatus and that for you, Every Day is Leg Day. Because on that day, regardless of the day of the week or where on your training calendar it lands, you have done something to honor your pins.

// Etiquette // La Vie Velominatus // Look Pro // Technique

  1. @Marko dont forget massachusetts. and maryland.

    @The Oracle shoot me an email.

  2. @roger

    @Marko dont forget massachusetts. and maryland.

    @The Oracle shoot me an email.

    No doubt. And then some dude from some obscure bike shop in Cochrane Alberta is going to be there too.

  3. @Marko

    @VeloSix

    @VeloSix

    @teleguy57

    @The Oracle

    @Kyle

    @KW Given the current state of Wisconsin weather, you could be wearing tights/leg warmers until the blessed event. Shave them once the nipper arrives. She’ll be too tired/busy to notice.

    On the topic or riding in Wisconsin, I’ve committed to the Cheesehead Roubaix. Who else is in?

    I’ve got a “soft commitment.” I think @wiscot is planning on attending as well.

    …………… I would love to get it out Tues (forecast here about 35F) since Wed’s high drops back to 24F. Sheesh, this is getting old…..

    I would like to find old man winter and kick him squarely in his balls, and then punch him in the throat!

    All you Wisco riders need to come do the Heck of the North. Thus far, there are 10 Velominati signed up. Peeps coming from the PNW, New York, Scotland, Wisconsin. There is no reason for you not to show up. I’ve been back channeling Wiscot on this but all you dudes need to start making plans. This could very well end up being The V-gathering of the season in lieu of a KT. It’s going to rule.

    http://www.heckofthenorth.com/

    As much as I would love to be there, it’s about a month after the aforementioned Velominipper is to arrive. I am quite certain that if the subject were broached, the ability to create additional nippers could be seriously compromised.

  4. @RedRanger

    @The Oracle Im in the Wausau area now. get thee a bike and hitch a ride with me

    Red, I just signed up and live in West Bend. Let’s keep in touch and save me a spot in da van! Happy to pitch in on fuel of all types.

    How to describe the weekend to others so they don’t think I’m crazy? I’m not sure: Spending the weekend riding 104 miles on bad roads with no support., traveling and staying with men who shave their legs I met on the internet. What could be more fun?

  5. @wiscot sounds good. look me up on FB or ask Marko to pass on my email.

  6. ^^^^^^^ that link

    ‘the girls eh, they want to come and touch my legs. and my arse’ –  Forstermann

  7. @Marko

    @VeloSix

    @VeloSix

    @teleguy57

    @The Oracle

    @Kyle

    @KW Given the current state of Wisconsin weather, you could be wearing tights/leg warmers until the blessed event. Shave them once the nipper arrives. She’ll be too tired/busy to notice.

    On the topic or riding in Wisconsin, I’ve committed to the Cheesehead Roubaix. Who else is in?

    I’ve got a “soft commitment.” I think @wiscot is planning on attending as well.

    …………… I would love to get it out Tues (forecast here about 35F) since Wed’s high drops back to 24F. Sheesh, this is getting old…..

    I would like to find old man winter and kick him squarely in his balls, and then punch him in the throat!

    All you Wisco riders need to come do the Heck of the North. Thus far, there are 10 Velominati signed up. Peeps coming from the PNW, New York, Scotland, Wisconsin. There is no reason for you not to show up. I’ve been back channeling Wiscot on this but all you dudes need to start making plans. This could very well end up being The V-gathering of the season in lieu of a KT. It’s going to rule.

    http://www.heckofthenorth.com/

    Another great reason to buy a new bike!   Just not in time for this…..  Although I will put this on the to do list!!

  8. @wiscot

    @RedRanger

    @The Oracle Im in the Wausau area now. get thee a bike and hitch a ride with me

    Red, I just signed up and live in West Bend. Let’s keep in touch and save me a spot in da van! Happy to pitch in on fuel of all types.

    How to describe the weekend to others so they don’t think I’m crazy? I’m not sure: Spending the weekend riding 104 miles on bad roads with no support., traveling and staying with men who shave their legs I met on the internet. What could be more fun?

    Trust me, tha is exactly how my wife is going to hear it.

  9. @The Oracle Tell her we have a great track record with Keepers Tours and Cogals. So far there’s only been one documented instance of stalking.

  10. @marko

    @The Oracle Tell her we have a great track record with Keepers Tours and Cogals. So far there’s only been one documented instance of stalking.

    Stalker? That’s no way to talk about Mike Sinyard!

  11. @KW

    @Marko

    @VeloSix

    @VeloSix

    @teleguy57

    @The Oracle

    @Kyle

    @KW Given the current state of Wisconsin weather, you could be wearing tights/leg warmers until the blessed event. Shave them once the nipper arrives. She’ll be too tired/busy to notice.

    On the topic or riding in Wisconsin, I’ve committed to the Cheesehead Roubaix. Who else is in?

    I’ve got a “soft commitment.” I think @wiscot is planning on attending as well.

    …………… I would love to get it out Tues (forecast here about 35F) since Wed’s high drops back to 24F. Sheesh, this is getting old…..

    I would like to find old man winter and kick him squarely in his balls, and then punch him in the throat!

    All you Wisco riders need to come do the Heck of the North. Thus far, there are 10 Velominati signed up. Peeps coming from the PNW, New York, Scotland, Wisconsin. There is no reason for you not to show up. I’ve been back channeling Wiscot on this but all you dudes need to start making plans. This could very well end up being The V-gathering of the season in lieu of a KT. It’s going to rule.

    http://www.heckofthenorth.com/

    As much as I would love to be there, it’s about a month after the aforementioned Velominipper is to arrive. I am quite certain that if the subject were broached, the ability to create additional nippers could be seriously compromised.

    That’s my wedding anniversary weekend.  My attendance would likely result in a similar fate.

  12. @Kyle

    That’s my wedding anniversary weekend. My attendance would likely result in a similar fate.

    Absolutely no excuse. I refer the honourable gentleman to the Caledonian Cogal on which my beloved Velomissus and I will celebrate our 20th anniversary.

  13. @marko

    @The Oracle Tell her we have a great track record with Keepers Tours and Cogals. So far there’s only been one documented instance of stalking.

    The PDX Cogal. It’s how Frank, G’rilla and I became friends.

  14. @The Oracle

    @wiscot

    @RedRanger

    @The Oracle Im in the Wausau area now. get thee a bike and hitch a ride with me

    Red, I just signed up and live in West Bend. Let’s keep in touch and save me a spot in da van! Happy to pitch in on fuel of all types.

    How to describe the weekend to others so they don’t think I’m crazy? I’m not sure: Spending the weekend riding 104 miles on bad roads with no support., traveling and staying with men who shave their legs I met on the internet. What could be more fun?

    Trust me, tha is exactly how my wife is going to hear it.

    I have presented myself as a pretty easy target; I’ve been to more events like this than anyone else, and so far every single person has been ultra cool – not one nutjob.

    Actually, that’s not really true. Everyone of us I’ve met is a nutjob, but in the most delightful way. No serial killers yet. Not even any douchebags.

  15. @ChrisO

    @Kyle

    That’s my wedding anniversary weekend. My attendance would likely result in a similar fate.

    Absolutely no excuse. I refer the honourable gentleman to the Caledonian Cogal on which my beloved Velomissus and I will celebrate our 20th anniversary.

    You really do get the highest marks possible for that. It should be mentioned more often how strictly you and your family embrace Rule #11.

  16. @wiscot  When and where in WI is the Cheesehead Roubaix? Damn, it’s 40 F today. Summer has arrived.

  17. @John

    @wiscot When and where in WI is the Cheesehead Roubaix? Damn, it’s 40 F today. Summer has arrived.

    well it’s safe to say Autumn is still a little way off down here in South Australia, 42 C was the highest temp recorded during yesterday’s 120k hangover recovery session…

  18. @wiscot where is this happening at?

  19. All this talk of the Cheesehead Roubaix reminds me that the Dairy Roubaix is coming up soon. April 19th in western WI. Check it out.

  20. @RedRanger

    @wiscot where is this happening at?

    @John

    @wiscot When and where in WI is the Cheesehead Roubaix? Damn, it’s 40 F today. Summer has arrived.

    Not Wiscot, but Cheesehead Roubaix info is here

  21. @frank

    @ChrisO

    @Kyle

    That’s my wedding anniversary weekend. My attendance would likely result in a similar fate.

    Absolutely no excuse. I refer the honourable gentleman to the Caledonian Cogal on which my beloved Velomissus and I will celebrate our 20th anniversary.

    You really do get the highest marks possible for that. It should be mentioned more often how strictly you and your family embrace Rule #11.

    Absolutely Frank – possibly some sort of permanent Sean Kelly icon just for me, or a little blue plaque.

    But while I sense your sarcasm what can I say – Rule #1, Rule #2 and Rule #3 apply here and I am simply instructing them. If people want to come on here complaining about being pussy-whipped into not riding their bikes they really need to either re-think their lives or obey the Masturbation Principle.

    Noting of course that strict application of Rule #11 might result in Principally Masturbation.

  22. @Deakus

    Nothing wrong with waxing over shaving – did it for around 5 to 7 years, only stopped cause I moved to a workplace without any surrounding beautians. Found it to be quick (35mins after they know you), pain-free (after about 6 months the follicle bulb gets smaller) and lasted around a month.

    Develop a relationship with a specific beautician – they get comfotable with you and you get better service. Cyclists make good customers – the muscles (especially if flexed) and low body fat percentage means the skin is much tighter than a womans and the waxing is easier as hair comes out easier with a tighter ‘canveas’ to come off.

    Hope this helps

  23. @Spider

    “Develop a relationship with a specific beautician”

    Already done!  She does it for free, feeds me beer during the process so she can take as long as she likes!

    As a minor non cycling related update her statement last night was.  “This weekend the six nations has all 3 matches back to back on Saturday, shall we just get twice as much beer as last time and do a Leo Sayer?”

    I mean if Carlsberg made girlfriends……

    It looks like a perfect Saturday.  The forecast is good for once, temps are up so it should be shorts and tan lines only.  Early morning ride followed by an entire day with the VMH watching Le Grand Finale of the Six Nations Rugby with vast quantities of hop related recovery beverages!!

  24. And none of this is ringing alarm bells?

  25. @RedRanger

    @wiscot where is this happening at?

    Red Ranger,
    see the link Teleguy57 kindly provided. This will be my third C-R. Well worth the effort!

  26. Can someone let me know the secret of where to stop shaving on the leg or how to blend? I don’t really want to stop at the shorts line as it will end up looking like a pair of hairy boxer shorts/underwear whatever you guys call them over the pond. Should one blend? If so, how?

    Many thank (Confused) ;-)

  27. @the-farmer

    And none of this is ringing alarm bells?

    Such a cynic!

  28. @Paul 8v I go all the way.

  29. @Paul 8v Electric trimmers with no attachment to get things manageable, then shave to the top of the thigh.  One thing: I get brutal razor burn and in-growns if I shave against the grain on the thighs, especially the backs, so it’s against-the-grain smoothness below the tan-line, with and gently (diagonally) across the grain above, being careful as the grain goes in different directions on all four sides.  And coconut oil might be the best alternative to shaving cream I’ve seen.

  30. @RedRanger

    @Paul 8v I go all the way.

    Plucked chicken?  Never mind, I don’t want to know.

  31. @Paul 8v

    Can someone let me know the secret of where to stop shaving on the leg or how to blend? I don’t really want to stop at the shorts line as it will end up looking like a pair of hairy boxer shorts/underwear whatever you guys call them over the pond. Should one blend? If so, how?

    Many thank (Confused) ;-)

    @McSqueak nailed it when he said something to the effect “start at the toes and stop at the eyebrows”.

  32. @Paul 8v [ George Clooney voice as Fantastic Mr. Fox ] “You might try taking everything!”

    “Blending is not a good option.”

  33. @RedRanger

    @Paul 8v I go all the way.

    Is that so?

  34. Haha, thanks guys. I knew there would be some know-how on here! I don’t think I can go the whole way to the eyebrows scaler911, I would have to take a bath in Veet and I’ve seen the review for when you get that on tender areas on Amazon!

    It’s a subject I can never find much info on to be fair but I know a pair of shaved guns is de rigueur for a Velominatus. I now need to work on the tan lines, unfortunately living in England has meant Flandrian best is the only clothing that I’ve been able to wear for many months and my legs have not seen that big yellow thing in the sky they call “the sun” in other countries.  I may be from Essex but I’m not from TOWIE, no way I’m going on a sunbed!

  35. @Paul 8v

     I may be from Essex but I’m not from TOWIE, no way I’m going on a sunbed!

    I hear that.  This weekend just passed was the first of the season without knee warmers and just about everybody with a bike was out on the roads.  Anyone already sporting a solid tan better have just come back from training camp on Mallorca.  And ride like it.

  36. @andrew I would love to go on one of those  Mallorca camps, one of the guys from my local club went and he loved it.  He’s now racing in the tour of Algeria, lucky so and so!

    @Paul 8v

    I may be from Essex but I’m not from TOWIE, no way I’m going on a sunbed!

    I hear that. This weekend just passed was the first of the season without knee warmers and just about everybody with a bike was out on the roads. Anyone already sporting a solid tan better have just come back from training camp on Mallorca. And ride like it.

  37. @Paul 8v Oh believe me, my bitterness is more than a little tinged with jealousy!  I know a guy who went a few weeks ago and kept running into pro teams on the climbs.

  38. @andrew It’s pretty much a second home for the Sky boys, I know which I would choose if I had the choice between that and Manchester!

  39. ZOMG, I can’t believe how much this post helps! Though, it would be helpful if you could go into a bit more detail. Is there a site I can get good information? Thank you for posting and please continue to share your wonderful insight with everybody.

  40. A meme I spotted today. See what I’m talking about?

  41. @Marko

    And posted by Fyxo today:

  42. Anna Meares on Leg Day:

  43. @Harminator : That is very impressive.  No wonder she can sprint.

  44. @Harminator Wow – that’s two thirds of her own height from standing. Incredible power.

  45. @Harminator Bloody hell! Wih my knees I’d struggle to jump onto a box of rice krispies.

  46. Danny Clark with the really good legs!

    https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10202616320903728

    I was there that night first time seeing Danny race. His heat was the same!

  47. Buy cheap Magic jerseys Wholesale From China

  48. Yes! Finally something about bigger penis cannot.

  49. @Amelia Totally on topic…. ha ha ha!

    @Frank Hacked perhaps?

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