La Femme à Pois

La Femme à Pois

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“Becky? Yeah, its Jean-Paul with the Podium Girl Selection Committee. No, I don’t know how I landed this job either, and I’m not about to ask any questions because its a pretty cool job. I’m calling you about the auditions you attended for La Grande Boucle that’s coming up.

“Yes, the good news is you got the job. The bad news is you’ll be presenting the maillot á pois.”

// General

  1. Lord, Man, that one cracked me up!  But I must admit, I lingered over pic number eight for a bit ….

  2. “No, please don’t worry if it rains – just lift your skirt above your head and you’ll stay dry”.

  3. Personally, I love the outfits the podium girls wear in the Tour. Sure, les dames des pois get wacky and often awful (outfits in #4 & 7) but I thought  the umbrella skirts were brilliant. Let’s face it, it’s about catching the consumer/TV watcher’s eye and product placement. Who wouldn’t want to take shelter from a storm under there?

  4. I know how they could improve this category.

    All together now!

     “She wore annnnn itsy. bitsy. teeny. weeny. red. polka. dot. bikini…”

    :)

  5. The accent is on wrong side : you should have wrote “Les femmes à pois.” Or even better, the title should have been “Les femmes en pois.”
    Great subject though… ;)

  6. @Chamac’h

    The accent is on wrong side : you should have wrote “Les femmes à pois.” Or even better, the title should have been “Les femmes en pois.”
    Great subject though… ;)

    Apologies, it’s been many decades since high school French. The Maillot Vert girls usually look pretty sweet too. Frank – some images please?

  7. Mingers! ;-)

  8. i wonder if they get to keep those outfits.

  9. Is it just me that the podium girl that is on Hinault’s side of stage hotterer than the opposite side?

  10. @Chamac’h

    The accent is on wrong side : you should have wrote “Les femmes à pois.” Or even better, the title should have been “Les femmes en pois.”
    Great subject though… ;)

    You’re right, it should have been à (fixed) but I believe its either La Femme à Pois or Les Femmes en Pois. Becky’s, fictional and hot as she is, is not so arrogant as to refer to herself in the Royal “We”, so we’ll leave it as-is. Cheers.

    @mcsqueak

    “No, please don’t worry if it rains – just lift your skirt above your head and you’ll stay dry”.

    A mother of a friend in grade school used to sing “Lady in Red” as, “Lady in Red, how I adore you, lift up your skirt, and then I explore you”. Perhaps she’s now on the Board of Les Femmes en Pois Board?

  11. I’m going to say this one more time, I’ve been away for three days and there are emoticons all over this site. Seriously, stop it. I’ll fucking ban you without warning. Including you, @roadslave525 and @936adl. Watch yourselves.

  12. @wiscot

    Personally, I love the outfits the podium girls wear in the Tour. Sure, les dames des pois get wacky and often awful (outfits in #4 & 7) but I thought  the umbrella skirts were brilliant. Let’s face it, it’s about catching the consumer/TV watcher’s eye and product placement. Who wouldn’t want to take shelter from a storm under there?

    Fair enough, and if I had a clue who was sponsoring The Measles Competition, I’d possibly have more appreciation for the humour implied by the umbrella, but for Merckx’s sake, its an international sport and they do a truly awful job of making it clear what the various sponsors are on about.

    And thankfully too, because I’d much rather be ignorant and make fun of them than be informed and think its sensible.

  13. @mrhallorann

    I know how they could improve this category.

    All together now!

     “She wore annnnn itsy. bitsy. teeny. weeny. red. polka. dot. bikini…”

    :)

    While I love your sentiment, we are not NASCAR and are not sponsored by Monster Energy Drink. Ours is a civalized sport; we are not animals.

    Given the choice between this

    Or this

    I’ll take the Cycling Way any day.

  14. @wiscot

    Personally, I love the outfits the podium girls wear in the Tour. Sure, les dames des pois get wacky and often awful (outfits in #4 & 7) but I thought  the umbrella skirts were brilliant. Let’s face it, it’s about catching the consumer/TV watcher’s eye and product placement. Who wouldn’t want to take shelter from a storm under there?

    A storm like this? Even our Podium Girls are Rule #9 complaint, taking it with a smile.

  15. Strange, a Google search for good examples of Podium Girls has wound up with the most riské podium girls being at the women’s races. Not even the cameraman/woman had a clue what was going on as they clearly couldn’t hold on to the camera properly.

    At least, I’m assuming the legs of the podium cyclists are women’s. They sure look like it, but it could honestly be any number of male cyclists, if I’m being honest.

  16. And one last gratuitus example of what we should not be seeing ever as part of Cycling ever. Unless its the Sign of the Merckx, which this isn’t. Figures that these are the Rock Racing Girls.

    Sorry, we don’t “Hang Tough”. We fucking ARE tough. And we shave our legs. And possibly our arms. And are very concerned about our appearance. But when it comes to actually RIDING our bikes – however occasionally that might be – we fucking ROCK THAT SHIT.

  17. @wiscot

    @Chamac’h

    The accent is on wrong side : you should have wrote “Les femmes à pois.” Or even better, the title should have been “Les femmes en pois.”
    Great subject though… ;)

    Apologies, it’s been many decades since high school French. The Maillot Vert girls usually look pretty sweet too. Frank – some images please?

    They don’t have to wear fucking green ponchos or anything. Just classy dresses. Its weird, the thing with the Measles.

  18. @frank

    I’m going to say this one more time, I’ve been away for three days and there are emoticons all over this site. Seriously, stop it. I’ll fucking ban you without warning. Including you, @roadslave525 and @936adl. Watch yourselves.

    (Esqueleto voice) I hate — all of them!

  19. @frank

    I’m going to say this one more time, I’ve been away for three days and there are emoticons all over this site. Seriously, stop it. I’ll fucking ban you without warning. Including you, @roadslave525 and @936adl. Watch yourselves.

    it’s like a fuck’in virus!  No cure, you just have to wait it out.

  20. @Buck Rogers

    @frank

    I’m going to say this one more time, I’ve been away for three days and there are emoticons all over this site. Seriously, stop it. I’ll fucking ban you without warning. Including you, @roadslave525 and @936adl. Watch yourselves.

    it’s like a fuck’in virus!  No cure, you just have to wait it out.

    No. I take the hard-line that its a degeneration of the community. I will have only one choice: ban all those who redner emoticons, or write some code that deletes them.

    Symbolically, the emoticon is all that degenerates not only society, but the purity of La Vie Velominatus. We might as well all start doing Forrest Gump salutes across fucking townline sprints.

    We are the Pure. We are the Ones Who Have Seen the Way. We are the Fucking Velominatus.

    In spite of the cursing, we are the chosen ones.

    No more fucking Emotions, you fuckers. Don’t make be ban you or write more fucking code just to corral you. For cereal. Both will make me disdain you equally. And my disdainment has consequences. I can’t articulate them, but they are at least half man, half bear, and half pig.

  21. Ok. :-(

  22. @Oli

    Ok. :-(

    It’s been nice knowing you, Oli.  See you when you get out of the penalty box.

  23. @frank what’s up with the raging?

  24. @frank

    frank, how do you feel about memes?

  25. @RedRanger It’s all Frank Shleck’s fault.

  26. @RedRanger

    @frank what’s up with the raging?

    I can’t ban him now, he pointed out a major boo-boo. Oh well. He banned himself once for 10 minutes, so I guess I can’t top that.

  27. @Oli

    @RedRanger It’s all Frank Shleck’s fault.

    that cuts to the quick. It was a gutsy move on Sir Strack’s part but I almost gringed when I saw that in his top spot.

    @frank

    @RedRanger

    @frank what’s up with the raging?

    I can’t ban him now, he pointed out a major boo-boo. Oh well. He banned himself once for 10 minutes, so I guess I can’t top that.

    Cant even fathom how one does that. Btw I’m noticing some issues with the V-mobile but I’m gonna take my own advise before I bring it to you. Don’t want to swamp you with stuff that can be fixed easy.

  28. @frank It was at least twelve minutes…

  29. @Oli

    Are we talking Camogate?

  30. @frank

    …….
    In spite of the cursing, we are the chosen ones.

    ….

    i say this is just another reason *why* we are the chosen ones.  it’s real and raw, unapologetic, no false facade, it’s who we are. we don’t hide it and pretend we are above it, we ARE it.  wiggins didn’t censor himself, why should we? one of the things that drew me to the Velominati, in addition to all the obvious reasons of awesomeness, is people freely saying fuck, shit, or whatever word is necessary to convey the emotion.  other sites are pussies, afraid of using the words that are most appropriate.

  31. Hehehe Frank’s cute when he’s angry!

  32. @silkrider

    Nicely put; I’m glad you like our cursing – you’d love Keepers Tour. Personally, I’ve been involved in sports trash-talking for longer than I can remember, so it just feels like normal to me. That said, seeing Wiggo use that language at a press conference surprised me and took me aback. There are stages for freely spoken curses and there are stages for restraint.

    With Velominati, we do our best to limit our cursing in the articles, but don’t partake in any censoring of ourselves or others in the posts – it seems a good balance. I’m not sure calling the Twitterati “cunts” was really appropriate, but I do find it refreshing to see someone say those things publicly.

    The advice imparted on my long ago does always sit in the back of my mind:

    Profanity is the weak mind’s attempt to express itself forcefully.

    We are all profoundly weak-minded, it would seem. No problem with that as far as I’m concerned. I’m weak, my body is weak, my mind is weak. Best to be honest with ourselves.

  33. @Oli

    @frank It was at least twelve minutes…

    Was it? Could be. I didn’t finish the beer I was having in the interlude, so that makes the case for the 10-15 minute window, or there abouts.

    @DerHoggz

    @Oli

    Are we talking Camogate?

    Yes, which was both funnier and more frustrating – in equal measure – than Candlegate, which resulted in no self-bannings, though I should have banned @Steamy for being too witty.

    @mrhallorann

    Hehehe Frank’s cute when he’s angry!

    I showed up to a ride with Keeper Jim last week and his wife asserted that we “looked cute in our outfits”. Very humiliating. In our estimation, we looked tough and cool.

  34. @mrhallorann

    Hehehe Frank’s cute when he’s angry!

    There’s usually a prick-fuck-dumbass-shit to get him started too. Not cute.

  35. @frank

    @silkrider

    Nicely put; I’m glad you like our cursing – you’d love Keepers Tour. Personally, I’ve been involved in sports trash-talking for longer than I can remember, so it just feels like normal to me. That said, seeing Wiggo use that language at a press conference surprised me and took me aback. There are stages for freely spoken curses and there are stages for restraint.

    With Velominati, we do our best to limit our cursing in the articles, but don’t partake in any censoring of ourselves or others in the posts – it seems a good balance. I’m not sure calling the Twitterati “cunts” was really appropriate, but I do find it refreshing to see someone say those things publicly.

    The advice imparted on my long ago does always sit in the back of my mind:

    Profanity is the weak mind’s attempt to express itself forcefully.

    We are all profoundly weak-minded, it would seem. No problem with that as far as I’m concerned. I’m weak, my body is weak, my mind is weak. Best to be honest with ourselves.

    i always say…”profanity is a crutch for illiterate and ignorant motherfuckers.”  but that’s just me.

  36. @silkrider There’s no fucking excuse for profanity.


  37. Let’s hope this works.

  38. @Bianchi Denti

    I guess that’s the Polka Choc jersey…

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