Before I make this about me, as I always do, I want to give credit to Roberto Ballini, who is pictured here sunning himself against nothing less morbid than a gravestone during the 1971 Tour de France, presumably in protest to how much of a shitshow The Prophet was making of the race. But let’s…
The Skype conversation went like this: Brett: “Remember Laurent Dufaux?” Frank: “How can I forget? Twat.” Brett: “What was that fucker on? Always hanging on in the Alps, suffering like a dog but never once did he attack. Ever. Just always hanging on.” And that was all that was said on the matter. Our little…
Legends are central to any culture, ours perhaps more than most. The Ventoux is a French legend, rising 1912m above the rolling hills of Provence. The road is thick with the paint of Tours past and the names of giants. The grade is 7%, on average, though 10, 11, and 12% are routine throughout the…
It has been a crazy year, this, with our first annual Keepers Tour sorted, partnerships with the industry’s leading icons including Johan Museeuw, Pavé Cycling Classics, DeFeet, Fizik, and Lezyne – and a book deal to boot (deadline looming large on January 1st). We couldn’t have asked for a better year, and would like to…
December 6th is possibly the biggest holiday of the year for the Dutch. We put out our shoe, we write gedichten, we play pranks on each other, and we exchange gifts. As luck would have it, the good old Sint made a stop by the Velominati Headquarters in Seattle and left me an absurdly large…
Joshua – of Beer in the Bidon fame – returns from the depths of doing something scholarly in Montana. I hadn’t realized that Montana even had schools, but apparently they have loads of them. And, based on the fact that they awarded him a Ph.D., they are apparently prone to poor judgement. Josh deposited this…
The recent headlines being made in the cycling world have honestly not garnered a whole lot of attention at V-HQ, at least where a certain COTHO is concerned. Yes, The Keepers have added to the usual discussions on the topic here, read the news, and given it some thought. But we really don’t feel the…
We interrupt the current programming for the following announcement: The more clever among you might have noticed slight shiftings of the sands, a new scent on the breeze. Indeed, the Velominati Boardroom has been bristling with activity of late; the meetings longer and more regular, the pints downed in quicker succession, the views shouted in louder…
The Olympic track racing fires off tomorrow and it’s time to remember an event discarded to the bin of noble sports. The Olympic roster of events is constantly evolving and devolving which is why we are now watching synchronized diving as an Olympic sport. What a world, what a world. Maybe it’s a sign of…
As I gaze across my living room and see the final packages of the Spring Order’s V-Kit ready for shipment, I’m reminded that the time has come to finalize the Summer V-Kit Order. We will close the order August 3, 2012 – assuming we reach our minimum order quantities set by Castelli – which will…
“Becky? Yeah, its Jean-Paul with the Podium Girl Selection Committee. No, I don’t know how I landed this job either, and I’m not about to ask any questions because its a pretty cool job. I’m calling you about the auditions you attended for La Grande Boucle that’s coming up. “Yes, the good news is you…
When I was but a young Velominatus, my poor mother was often horrified/embarrassed/disgusted by my typical boy’s habit of sucking back the mucous from the back of my throat and swallowing it… yes, I know, now you’re disgusted too. Taking me to seek a cure from the good Dr Edwards, he let her down somewhat…
With Keepers Tour: Cobbled Classics 2012 stitched up and in the history books, the challenge of documenting the trip became immediately obvious; how do you take the myriad impressions, experiences, and perspectives and put them down in a meaningful way – let alone in a way that can somehow be digested. Surely, to document even…
Longtime Velominati Jarvis is camping down the road from us in Kemmel. He came by last night to visit and added to the list of people we are finally meeting after knowing them from the website. It’s a beautiful thing to meet such like-minded friends in person. Luckily our responsibilities today, post-Roubaix riding, are beautiful:…
It’s crazy to me how fast two months from peaking goes by. At Christmas time I remember thinking how distant the Keepers Tour 2012 felt and that I’d have plenty of time to train. Now that time is measured in weeks instead of months and my feelings tend more toward doubt about my form. Cycling…
I have a friend who is borderline OCD. He’ll sometimes wash his hands dozens of times a day, doesn’t like sticky stuff, cats drive him to antihistamine hell and there is a place for everything, with everything in its place. This can be annoying, not only for those around him, but especially for himself. It’s…
Focus groups are forced marches out of the safety of our locked and darkened offices to delve into group work that would certainly be accomplished by one person, namely you, with much more efficiency and elegance. As it happens, the suspicions you’ve had about the dude you’ve successfully avoided conversation with for three years in…
Anyone who has happened by Velominati this past week will know our site has been in a serious breach of Rule #5; we had a big uptick in traffic, and the site made like Van Summeren’s back tire. During this time, I’ve done everything I could think of from indiscriminately screaming at the computer screen, wall, or…
From the bottom of our hearts, and on behalf of everyone at Velominati, we wish you a very Happy Holidays and as such issue a temporary suspension of Rule #11. I’d like to thank everyone for coming around to our little corner of the world to spend your valuable time as part of the community; without you,…
The very first time I ever pulled a tire and tube off of a rim it made an impression on me and it still does. I’m not sure I expected to find anything other than the tube between the rim and tire but there it was, some sort of tape. The French words, “Fond de…