On Rule #28: The Case for Black Socks

[rule number=28/]

Science has proven that people who wear crazy socks are smarter than those boring snooze factories who wear simple plain socks. I know the data supporting the claims is legitimate because I read it on LinkedIn. Also, when I say “read”, I mean that I glanced briefly at the title while simultaneously performing several other critical activities like checking YouTube for videos of uncoordinated animals and what the weather is like on Mars.

Rule #28 stands out amongst the others as a particularly vague swan for the reasons outlined in the above article, which I assume are that in a world of limited and regimented acceptable conventions in gender style choices, socks present an opportunity to fly our Freak Flag and throw in a few pieces of flair without upsetting the boss, partner, or parents. Even though every Velominatus, the most dedicated and elite of the Cycling Aesthetes, holds white socks in the highest regard, there should always be room for other choices within the Cyclist’s daily style program.

Despite the implication on my intelligence, my own sock choice is rather understated and dictated in part by the employment of the Orange Damsels – my beloved custom orange patent-leather Bont Vaypors. These shoes already make a bit of a statement themselves, so my sock choice needs to be solid and carefully coordinated in order to avoid a conflict between my ankle and foot decorum. For instance, the orange hi-vis DeFeets I ride on the road in bad weather don’t quite match the orange of my shoes, pulling the choke on the ol’ OCD engine. I have therefore allowed myself to wear socks in any color so long as they are either black or white.

The case for white socks is already clear and does not need to be revisited. The case for black socks, however, begins with the principles laid out by Rule #8, wherein the colors of satellite components should normally be matched to their nearest adjacent contact point on the frame. It then follows by extension that the same is true for kit: assuming the mandatory black bibs, black socks bridge the gap between them and whatever shoes you might be wearing. Much like matching the cuffs to the collars, matching the socks to the bibs to black provides a uniform platform from which to build your style program.

Go bold with the choice of socks if you must, but remember to always keep it classy. And, if in doubt, build a solid foundation of color from which to build.

Related Posts

127 Replies to “On Rule #28: The Case for Black Socks”

  1. Funniest post – and comments!! – on the V-site in ages. Excellent rabbit hole for Friday procrastination.

    FWIW:

    White socks with Detto Pietros.

    Black socks with anything and everything else.

  2. @wiscot

    @fenlander

    Like my black sock/white Giro combo,seen here on the Tour of Cambridgeshire;

    I know it’s classic but not really a fan of white socks,always reminds me of these two;

    Looking pretty pro there Mr. Fenlander! I didn’t know Cambridgeshire had hills . . .

    Thanks;not really a hill as such more a long ramp.

  3. @Gianni

    @fenlander

    Like my black sock/white Giro combo,seen here on the Tour of Cambridgeshire;

    I know it’s classic but not really a fan of white socks,always reminds me of these two;

    Those white Giros would look even more awesome with white socks. I’ll give you a lot of leeway for invoking Beavis and Butthead into this argument though. Very nice.

    Might have to try the white socks then(maybe).

     

    As for coloured socks have some of these for winter;

    https://this-is-cambridge.com/shop/socks/omloop-merino-winter-socks/

    Might get some of their summer ones too.

     

  4. @Haldy

    Man…..y’all just need to relax..go with the flow. Bikes are supposed to be fun..be creative..expressive..we here at Single Malt Velo have a very strong sock game going on….

    Looks like those TIC ones mixed up! Nice.

  5. Captions disappeared!

    1) Winners wear white socks. Fact.

    2) White socks will make you go faster than Team Sky. Fact.

    3) Chicks dig guys in white socks. Fact.

     

  6. @Nik_L

    1 – almost look like V-socks

    3 – what has he got in his hand, almost looks like he was on his way to dope testing when he was dragged onto the podium!

  7. @chuckp

    ‘Tis adorable the way you hold your footsies together like that, sonny jim.

    @Canucklehead

    @Buck Rogers

    Just got a pair of these dandies from The Athletic. They have strong sock games which makes following Rule #28 challenging. But part of me feels like when you’re in your mid-40s and riding for 30 years…I can live a little.

    But that still doesn’t mean you can pull that off. That is some serious action there. One needs to OWN the sock game to bring that shit.

  8. @MtnGoat

    @Randy C

    Sorry mate, but those Depends should be worn inside your trousers, non? Isn’t there a Rule for that?

    More Full Disclosure: I do love what’s happened to cycling kit over the years, including the damn socks. I must, in light of my previous statement of rebelliousness and socklessness. But isn’t it a bit schizophrenic to worship the Dayes of Yore and traditions noble, and accept non-white socks? My hairnet spins.

    And I do miss my Marressis which had that sole wedge which was just what the doctor ordered to rein in my cowboy legs and pronated foots. When can we go back to the Christophes?

    I would say the bibs drooped over the pants is very Pro; Alpine racers have been doing it for eons.

  9. @Haldy

    Man…..y’all just need to relax..go with the flow. Bikes are supposed to be fun..be creative..expressive..we here at Single Malt Velo have a very strong sock game going on….

    Just… fucking… NO.

  10. @frank

    @Oli

    The more Brett says “no” the more I want to say “yes”.

    @Oli

    Wait, I didn’t mean it like that!

    We don’t judge around here!

    We don’t??!! Wait..I thought that was the whole point….?

     

  11. @Haldy

    @frank

    @Oli

    The more Brett says “no” the more I want to say “yes”.

    @Oli

    Wait, I didn’t mean it like that!

    We don’t judge around here!

    We don’t??!! Wait..I thought that was the whole point….?

    Well, we do, but not about that stuff.

  12. @frank

    @Haldy

    @frank

    @Oli

    The more Brett says “no” the more I want to say “yes”.

    @Oli

    Wait, I didn’t mean it like that!

    We don’t judge around here!

    We don’t??!! Wait..I thought that was the whole point….?

    Well, we do, but not about that stuff.

    Fair enough point, and I agree. I meant more in general.

  13. Long time lurker but this post and all the accompanying images are making me feel a bit queasy. Socks should be white and shoes should be white.

  14. @Jamie Maidment

    Only a bit queasy? I have just spent the last hour cleaning the bathroom after vomiting all over the place.

    What is it with cycling becoming golf? Have we all become blind?

    Crazy socks and crazy kit need to be banned.  In a few years time there will be a lot of people looking back at photos and saying “Why did I wear pyjamas on the bike?”

    Unless your age starts with the number 1, in which case you can be excused through lack of knowledge/experience, it is time to leave the pyjamas in the bedroom.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Skip to toolbar